morning

You woke up , that stupid sun light made your eyes squint shut.

You looked around , you felt so lonely , no Lisa , chim , Jin or yoongs.

Or even hobi to hug and kiss you good morning , you felt shit .

You turned your phone on ready to be bombarded with texts from your gang..and of course you were already up to 8 in counting .

Seeing all of these sympathy texts made depressed ..you wanted to get out of your house .

You rang Lisa "Oh hi ?" She spoke "wanna go out somewhere ?"

"Really ?! Sure where too ?" She asked shocked.

"Anywhere , meet me at mine ?" 

"Hell yass girls day ! I'll be there soon" she squealed before ending the call .

You wanted to get out and forget your miseries .

You went upstairs to change , you wore a grey hoodie and black jeans and your timberlands , you had no need to get all dressed up , you tied your hair into a bun and headed back down .

You heard the door knock , she can't be here already?

You opened the door , "oh god no" you said , "Pls can we talk ??"

"Soya I have nothing to say to you" you said ready to slam the door in her face.

Then don't say anything , I just wanna say I'm sorry , I have no intentions of taking hobi back . I was wasted and upset that night , I would have done things with anyone . But you deserve an apology , you were such a good friend to me and didn't deserve that . I want you and hobi to be happy" she babbled on looking down . You wanted to be angry at her and slam the door in her face but to be honest ...You already forgave her , she had better reason then hobi and you were more mad at him . She messed up but her side of the mistake wasn't as bad as hobis ..plus she has been there for you with the whole sana thing .

But so was hobi ..

Well he was in a relationship at the time !!

Her apology was good as well "it's ok" you said "really ??" She asked shocked .

You know you changed your mind quick but there was no point staying mad at her . Like you always say , you are never one to hold grudges against someone when they do wrong to you. Only to the people you care about is what makes you angry .

You nodded giving a slight smile "oh my god Thankyou Y/N" she said hugging you tightly .

"I hope you and hobi sort things"  she said releasing from the hug "actually ..I ended it . It's for the best" you said trying not to cry .

"Oh ..I'm so sorry"she said

"no it's fine , I'm expecting Lisa round soon so .." you said "Ah no problem I'll leave , I'll see you Monday" she smiled , "Adios " you said waving .

She left and you closed the door . You breathed out and leaned against the door , why is life so shit .

———
Lisa came round eventually and you both headed out . She decided to bring you out shopping , you went to the mall. "So how are you ?" She asked as you both walked  into a body shop , the smell of soaps hit your face like a pillow of fragrance.

"Well ..I broke up with hobi" you said looking at the soaps. You picked up a bottle of honey and lemon shampoo.

"WHAT?? ..really ?" She asked turning you to her . Tears filled your eyes , you nodded .

"Yah come here" she said pulling you into a hug "I'm sorry "she said .

You sniffed whiping your eyes .

"Aha wh-why are you sorry" you laughed through the small tears .

You leaned out of the hug and placed he shampoo back on the shelf . You just stared at it for a few seconds before continuing to walk past the other products .

———
You had both bought some soaps and moisturizers. Honey and lemon mostly for you of course ;)

"Let's go get some food"she said , you nodded .

——-
You went to a donut cafe and bought two boxes for you both . You sat on a bench with Lisa and tucked in .

"These are so yummy !" She smiled "so yummy" you smiled back before attacking your chocolate iced donut, "Yah you have sprinkles on your lip" you said pointing at Lisa's lip "Yah you too" She said pointing , you both laughed .

Lisa was already lightening your spirits .

"So what you gonna do ??" She asked . You just looked at her confused , "on Monday , when we have dance with him ?" She asked , "just ignore him ..I don't care about him anymore " you said .

"That's a lie and you know it .." she said looking at you .

You knew you were lying to your self.

"Still ..I'm not talking to him " you said eating another donut . Just heading your own words already scared you , you weren't sure you would be able to deal with the pain of seeing him in person , and not even speak to him .

You never hold a grudge against someone whose hurt you for a long amount of time .

You always give in and forgive them no matter what they have done ..which is why you are afraid to see hobi , you fear giving in and taking him back ..but how can you possibly go back to someone you love when you can't stop questioning whether they even loved you back.

These emotions were all new to you ,and you had no clue they would hurt this much .

It was only a 5 day relationship , but it was your first and with hobi being him self ..you couldn't help but fall in love with him ..damn it you were still In love with him .

He messed up something really good , it angered you so much .

You slammed the lid of your box of donuts , "thinking about it all aren't you ?" Lisa asked rubbing your back , you joust nodded ,   " I have no clue how I'm gonna manage in school , being in the same class as him !" You whined shoving your face in your hands.

"Its gonna be really hard for you but you have your friends and me"  she said side hugging you "and we all love you " she added .

"Thanks ..I love you guys too" you smiled at her .

"I just wanna forget my feelings for him now" you said putting the box on the side .

"I'm sorry ..but Y/N..you are never gonna be able to do that".

"what ..why?"

She looked straight at you "hobi isn't just your first boyfriend ,he's somehow managed to take the role of being your first love and you managed to take that role for him as well" she said , you just looked at her not saying anything "and that means your relationship" she added .

"What about it ?" You asked .

"It wasn't just something random ..it was special , it was the start of something big and everyone in our group knew it , I could already picture your whole life and hobi was in it . You guys were able to love each other  after only knowing each other  for a short amount of time . Girl don't you see !! That's what they call love at first sight ..meaning the feelings you had for hobi are always gonna be there"she have you a small smile .

Your face just stayed sad .

"Lisa ..don't you think if hobi loved me like I loved him ..then he would have ruined it attempting to sleep with soya .." you light spoke nearly gagging at the sentence .

"You know what I don't even care for him anymore-."

"You are gonna care for him no matter how much you hate him , you are gonna love him no matter what he does , and you are gonna fall in love with him every time the boy smiles at you" she said .

You stopped at her last sentence .

It was as if everything was hitting you suddenly.

Holy shit ..why is she so right. "Urgh I hate that you are right !!" you said laughing a bit , "I mean look at the affect all this has had on you ...girl you can't even finish a full box of donuts " she laughed making you smile .

"And I know he's fucked up bad ...but one day ..I don't know ..I just feel you and him will be ok again"she said .

Wow Lisa actually has hope , you thought she would have executed the idea of your relationship getting back on track all in general.

You just nodded "I'd like to see that happen" you weakly smiled.

"Anyway , Jimin is picking us up later , I thought we could go his for a film . Jin is coming too" she smiled .

"is hobi gonna be there?"you asked looking down "no of course not , he's not been answering anyone's calls anyway to be asked" she said eating her donut .

That's weird , he's not been answering calls ..

"Sure I'd like that" you said smiling , she smiled back . "Cool I'll text him" she said grabbing her phone .

————
You and Lisa went in a few more shops, you bought some new clothes and Lisa even added some stuff to your list , she said "a new wardrobe always cheers a girl up".

Yeah right.

————-
"He's outside we best go" Lisa Said , obviously meaning jimin .

You both headed to the malls car park , he got out when he saw you both "wow you did a lot of shopping" he said looking at yours and Lisa's multiple bags .

"Here" he said taking some off of you and Lisa , he put them in the boot .

You got into the back seat , you could see jimin kissing Lisa's head through the side mirror .

Seeing them happy made you happy for them ..but a little gutted ..knowing that was you and hobi once .

Urgh stop being depressing already !!

Jimin and Lisa both got in the front of the car "Jins gonna stop off at the video store and get us a film" he said pulling out of the car park "obviously just to see namjoon" Lisa Said , "his gay sex pal" she added "Yah Lisa !" You laughed , "it's good to see you smiling again Y/N" jimin said smiling at you in the mirror .

It went quiet a bit , "yeah ..your smile is sexy as hell" Lisa Said , you chuckled "so lesbian" you said ,

"YAH !" She yelled and you just laughed more , even jimin laughed a little . However he stopped the minute Lisa gave him a death glare.

He then turned the radio on , a rap song came on ..in fact it was a familiar song ..cypher .

It reminded you of the time you were first in hobis car ..him and Yoongi both rapped to the song .

It was the first time you were together with hobi and the others , it was a good memory , but you hurt a little thinking about hobi again.

You pulled up outside of Jins house "he better have the film" jimin said leaning against his seat , "Why because you will go all nasty on his arse ?" You asked being sarcastic "Hell yeah watch me" he said , you laughed "hey I'm serio- yeah I can't pull that off" he gave in and laughed as well .

"Bless you chim" you said patting him  on the shoulder .

The door then opened to Jins house and you saw him walk out , he was holding the film under his armpit whilst locking the door.

He walked over to the other side of the car opening the door "hellooooooo" he chirped before hopping in "Hey Hyung" jimin smiled before driving off the street .

"Is everyone gooooooooood?" Jin asked whilst doing his seatbelt "Hell yasss me and my girl got donuts and went shopping" Lisa Said highfiving you from the front .

"Oooooh that's good , I'm glad you are ok my daughter" he said nudging you a bit , you smiled at him , you were better then this morning ..but you weren't completely ok .

————
You all arrived at jimins house , "snacks snacks we need snacks !!" Jin said running to the kitchen , he went on a raid through the cupboards pulling out crisps and biscuits .

Jimin was obviously fine with it ..knowing jin .

You went and sat on the sofa "you have a nice house chim" you said , it was around the same size as yours but the decoration was a lot nicer .

"Thanking you my little sister" he smiled whilst throwing the car keys on the side.

"What are we watching ?" Lisa asked sitting in the corner on the sofa.
"Well i didn't want to go for a romance , since my favourite couple is no more" Jin said pouting at you , that kind of hit a spot .

"Yah Hyung !" Jimin said looking at Jin "Oh my gosh I'm sorry Y/N I should have thought more" he said looking guilty "no no it's fine ..I have to stop being sensitive about it" you said smiling . You then sat down on a beem bag chair that was next to the sofa .

"But  it's understandable remember" Lisa said looking at you , "yeah , you and him had something good" jimin added .

You just looked down and smiled a bit , you did have something good .

"You were my favourite ship ever !!" Jin added stuffing his face with crisps , you couldn't help but smile .

Memories of hobi made you sad ..but also happy . "Y/N .." jimin asked making you look at him , "I know Hyung fucked up ...but he really does love you" jimin said smiling .

You just looked at him , "so what film are we watching jin ?" You asked smiling , you wanted to drop this convo on hobi "Yah its eomma Jin to you" He said , you rolled your eyes "sorry eomma" you laughed , "good ..and we are watching mr poppers penguins !!" He said coming over with the film .

"A kids film ?" Jimin asked "Heck yeah !!" You and Lisa said at the same time "kids films are great" Lisa said , you just nodded .

Jin smiled before sitting down on the bean bag chair next to yours.

jimin came and sat next to Lisa on the sofa , she placed her legs on his lap and he rested his hand on her thigh..you wanted hobi .

———-1hr 20 mins
The film ended . It was great obviously "so chim what did you think ??" You asked sitting up , Lisa and Jin looked at him "I actually liked it" he said , "yay now I don't have to hurt you !" Lisa said kissing his cheek and hugging him "wait what ?" Jimin asked .

"So what should we do now ?" Lisa asked .

"LETS BAKE !!" Jin said jumping up , "bake ?" Jimin asked , "oh god chef Jin will come out though and he's mean"jimin said , "I'm out" he said shaking his head "I don't wanna experience the raff of chef Jin " Lisa added .

"I'm not that bad !!" He said crossing his arms "I'll bake with you " you said standing up , "Y/N nooooooooo" jimin yelled holding his arms out for you , "I can handle the raff , plus if he just gets bossy I'll drop kick his ass" you said smacking Jins bum and walking to the kitchen  "hey no touching my cheeks" he said following you "why because they are namjoons" you smirked heading for the kitchen "maybe"he mumbled whilst blushing a little.

"Well me and Lisa are gonna go nap" jimin said standing up and holding her hand , you just gave him a "do I look dumb" stare

"oh please you two are going up to have sex" you said putting your hand on your hip "why do you think we are doing that" he said acting innocent , "because Lisa is trying not to smile" you said pointing at her .

Jimin looked at her "Yah we are gonna go nap now bye" jimin said pulling Lisa upstairs .

"They think we are dumb don't they ?" Jin said getting out a bowl from the cupboard .

"Yup" you nodded , "so I thought we could make chocolate muffins" you smiled , "oooh yeah ! Hobi loves the-" he stopped him self finishing he sentence , but there was no point .. morning

You woke up , that stupid sun light . You looked around , you felt so lonely , no Lisa , or even hobi to hug and kiss you good morning , you felt shit . You turned your phone on , you wanted to get out of your house . You rang Lisa "Oh hi ?" She spoke "wanna go out ?" You asked . "Really ?! Sure where too ?" She asked shocked "anywhere , meet me at mine ?" You asked "Hell yass girls day ! I'll be there soon " she said ending the call . You wanted to get out and forget everything. You went upstairs to change , you wore a grey hoodie and black jeans and your timberlands , you tied your hair into a bun and headed back down . You heard the door knock , she can't be here already . You opened the door , "oh god no " you said , "Pls can we talk ??"
"Soya I have nothing to say to you " you said . "Then don't say anything , I just wanna say I'm sorry , I have no intentions of taking hobi back . I was wasted and upset last night , I would have done things with anyone . But you deserve an apology , you were such a good friend to me and didn't deserve that . I want you and hobi to be happy " she said looking down . You already forgave her , she had better reason then hobi and you were more mad at him . She messed up but her side of the mistake wasn't as bad as hobis ..plus she has been there for you with the whole sana thing . Her apology was good as well "it's ok . " you said "really ??" She asked shocked . You know you changed your mind quick but there was no point staying mad at her . You nodded giving a slight smile "oh my god Thankyou Iona " she said hugging you tightly . "I hope you and hobi sort things " she said releasing from the hug "actually ..I ended it . It's for the best " you said trying not to cry . "Oh ..I'm so sorry " she said "no it's fine , I'm expecting Lisa round soon so .." you said "Ah no problem I'll leave , I'll see you Monday " she smiled , "Adios " you said waving . She left and you closed the door . You breathed out and leaned against the door , why is life so shit .

———
Lisa came round eventually and you both headed out . She decided to bring you out shopping , you went to the mall. "So how are you ?" She asked as you both walked  into a body shop , the smell of soaps hit your face . "Well ..I broke up with hobi " you said looking at the soaps "WHAT?? ..really ?" She asked turning you to her . Tears filled your eyes , you nodded . "Yah come here " she said pulling you into a hug "I'm sorry " she said . You sniffed whiping your eyes . "Let's go get some food " she said , you nodded .

——-
You went to a donut cafe and bought two boxes for you both . You sat on a bench with Lisa and tucked in . "These are so yummy !" She smiled "so yummy " you smiled , "Yah you have sprinkles on your lip " you said pointing at Lisa's lip "Yah you too" She said pointing , you both laughed . Lisa was already lightening your spirits . "So what you gonna do ??" She asked . You just looked at her confused , "on Monday , when we have dance with him ?" She asked , "just ignore him ..I don't care about him anymore " you said . "That's a lie and you know it .." she said looking at you . You knew you were lying your self . "Still ..I'm not talking to him " you said eating another donut . Just heading your own words already scared you , you weren't sure you would be able to deal with the pain of seeing him in person , and not even speak to him . These emotions were all new to you ,and you had no clue they would hurt this much . It was only a 5 day relationship , but it was your first and with hobi being him self ..you couldn't help but fall in love with him ..damn it you were still In love with him . He messed up something really good , it angered you so much . You slammed the lid of your box of donuts , "thinking about it all aren't you ?" Lisa asked rubbing your back , you joust nodded ,   " I have no clue how I'm gonna manage in school , being in the same class as him !" You said , "it's gonna be really hard for you but you have your friends and me " she said side hugging you "and we all love you " she added . "I Thanks ..I love you guys too " you smiled at her . "I just wanna forget my feelings for him now " you said putting the box on the side . "I'm sorry ..but Iona ..you are never gonna be able to do that " she said looking down , "what ..why?" You asked . She looked up at you "hobi isn't jusy your first boyfriend ,he's somehow managed to take the role of being your first love and you managed to take that role for him as well" she said , you just looked at her not saying anything "and that means your relationship " she added . "What about it ?" You asked . "It wasn't just something random ..it was special , meaning the feelings you had for hobi are always gonna be there . You are gonna care for him no matter how much you hate him , you are gonna love him no matter what he does , and you are gonna fall in love with him every time the boy smiles at you " she said . Holy shit ..why is she so right. "Urgh I hate that you are right !! " you said laughing a bit , "I mean look at the affect all this has had on you ...girl you can't even finish a full box of donuts " she laughed making you smile . "And I know he's fucked up bad ...but one day ..I don't know ..I just feel you and him will be ok again " she said . Wow Lisa actually has hope , you thought she would have executed the idea of your relationship all getting back on track all in general. You just nodded "I'd like to see that happen " you weakly smiled
"Anyway , Jimin is picking us up later , I thought we could go his for a film . Jin is coming too " she smiled "is hobi gonna be there " you asked looking down "no of course not , he's not been answering anyone's calls anyway to be asked " she said eating her donut . That's weird , he's not been answering calls ..ah well not my problem . "Sure I'd like that " you said smiling , she smiled back . "Cool I'll text him " she said grabbing her phone .

————
You and Lisa went in a few more shops, you bought some new clothes and Lisa even added some stuff to your list , she said "a new wardrobe always cheers a girl up ". Yeah right.

————-
"He's outside we best go " Lisa Said , obviously meaning jimin . You both headed to the malls car park , he got out when he saw you both "wow you did air of shopping " he said looking at yours an Lisa's multiple bags . "Here " he said taking some off of you and Lisa , he put them in the boot . You got into the back seat , you could see jimin kissing Lisa's head through the side mirror . Seeing them happy made you happy for them ..but a little gutted ..knowing that was you and hobi . Jimin and Lisa both got in the front of the car "Jins gonna stop off at the video store and get us a film " he said pulling out of the car park "obviously just to see namjoon " Lisa Said , "his gay sex pal " she added "Yah Lisa !" You laughed , "it's good to see you smiling again Iona " jimin said smiling at you in the mirror . It went quiet a bit , "yeah ..your smile is sexy as hell " Lisa Said , you chuckled "so lesbian " you said , "YAH !" She yelled and you just laughed more , even jimin . Jimin turned the radio on , a rap song came on ..in fact it was a familiar song ..cypher . It reminded you of the time you were first in hobis car ..him and Yoongi both rapped to the song . It was the first time you were together with hobi and the others , it was a good memory , but you hurt a little thinking about hobi . You pulled up outside of Jins house "he better have the film " jimin said leaning against his seat , "Why because you will go all nasty on his arse ?" You asked being sarcastic "Hell yeah watch me " he said , you laughed "hey I'm serio- yeah I can't pull that off " he gave in and laughed as well . "Bless you chim " you said patting him shoulder . The door then opened to Jins house and you saw him walk out , he was holding the film . He walked over to the other side of the car opening the door "hellooooooo" he chirped before hopping in "Hey Hyung " jimin smiled before driving off the street . "Is everyone gooooooooood?" Jin asked whilst doing his seatbelt "Hell yasss me and my girl got donuts and went shopping " Lisa Said highfiving you from the front . "Oooooh that's good , I'm glad you are ok my daughter " he said nudging you a bit , you smiled at him , you were better then this morning ..but you weren't completely ok .

————
You all arrived at jimin house , "snacks snack we need snack !!" Jin said running to the kitchen , he went on a raid through the cupboards pulling out crisps and biscuits . Jimin was obviously fine with it ..knowing jin . You went and sat on the sofa "you have a nice house chim " you said , it was around the same size as your but the decoration was a lot nicer . "Thanking you my little sister " he smiled whilst throwing the car keys on the side. "What are we watching ?" Lisa asked sitting in the corner on the sofa.
"Well i didn't want to go for a romance , since my favourite couple is no more " Jin said pouting , that kind of hit a spot . "Yah Hyung !" Jimin said looking at Jin "Oh my gosh I'm sorry Iona I shoulda have thought more " he said looking guilty "no no it's fine ..I have to stop being sensitive about it " you said . "But  it's understandable remember " Lisa said looking at you , "yeah , you and him had something good " jimin added . You just looked down and smiled a bit , we did have something good . "You were my favourite ship ever !!" Jin added stuffing his face with crisps , you couldn't help but smile . Memories of hobi made you sad ..but also happy . "Iona .." jimin asked making you look at him , "I know Hyung fucked up ...but he really does love you " jimin said smiling . You just looked at him , "so what film are we watching jin ?" You asked smiling , you wanted to drop this convo on hobi "Yah is eomma Jin to you " He said , you rolled your eyes "sorry eomma " you laughed , "good ..and we are watching mr poppers penguins !!" He said coming over with the film . "A kids film ?" Jimin asked "Heck yeah !!" You and Lisa said at the same time "kids films are great " Lisa said , you just nodded . Jin smiled before sitting down , jimin came and sat next to Lisa , she placed her legs on his lap , you wanted hobi .

———-1hr 20 mins
The film ended . It was great obviously "so chim what did you think ??" You asked sitting up , Lisa and Jin looked at him "I actually liked it " he said , "yay now I don't have to hurt you !" Lisa said kissing his cheek and hugging him "wait what ?" Jimin asked . "So what should we do now ?" Lisa asked . "LETS BAKE !!" Jin said jumping up , "bake ?" Jimin asked , "oh god chef Jin will come out though and he's mean " jimin said , "I'm out " he said shaking his head "I don't wanna experience the raff If chef Jin " Lisa added . "I'm not that bad !!" He said crossing his arms "I'll bake with you " you said standing up , "Iona nooooooooo" jimin yelled holding his arms out for you , "I can handle the raff , plus if he just gets bossy I'll drop kick his ass " you said smacking Jins bum and walking to the kitchen  " hey no touching my cheeks " he said following you "why because they are namjoons " you smirked heading for the kitchen "maybe " he said . "Well me and Lisa are gonna go nap " jimin said standing up and holding her hand , you just have him a "do I look dumb " stare "oh please you two are going up to have sex " you said putting your hand on your hip "why do you think we are doing that " he said acting innocent , "because Lisa is trying not to smile " you said pointing at her . Jimin looked at her "Yah we are gonna go nap now bye " jimin said pulling Lisa upstairs . "They think we are dumb don't they ?" Jin said getting out a bowl from the cupboard . "Yup " you nodded , "so I thought we could make chocolate muffins " you smiled , "oooh yeah ! Hobi loves the-" he stopped him self finishing he sentence , but there was no point ..his name was already mentioned . "Jin its fine , I hate making things awkward"you said smiling at him .

He nodded , you got out any ingredients you could find and started putting them into the bowl "so ..have you spoke to him" he said , you just continued looking at what you were doing .

"Since the party ..yes" you said cracking an egg .

"And ?" He asked throwing the egg shell away , "he came round to mine and explained why he cheated ..but I just told him to leave" you said grabbing a whisk , "Did he just leave like that?", you began whisking

"no ..in fact he refused twice , but when he saw me crying I think that's when he got the hint" you said .

"My daughter I'm so sorry you have to deal with heart break" Jin said rubbing your back "it's fine I'm over it" you said shaking your head still whisking "I know you and that's not true" he said going over to the sink , damn it why does everyone know you too well .

"Look" He said pouring a small cup of water into the bowl "he made a mistake , but just know that from me , I've never seen hobi love someone this much" he said , you stopped whisking "everyone is saying that" you said taking in a deep breath to stop your voice from cracking ...you were holding in your tears .

"because it's true" he added looking at you .

"..did he really love me ?" you asked looking down .

"Yes very much and he still does" Jin said smiling "then why did he do it?" you simply said .

"That ..that I don't know ..because he's a dumb ass boy and he makes mistakes" Jin said .

You got that right , "but .." he said turning you to face him , "he only tries to make things right when he really cares" Jin said giving you a weak smile , "and he's tried to fix things with you right away" he added before heading back to the sink .

Even though everyone was telling you he loved you , and hobi himself said it ..you felt like you weren't good enough to be loved anymore .

You felt like used goods. Now that your first time was taken..did he want you that much anymore.