I woke up in a hospital bed completely puzzled, but seeing him sitting by me was comforting, as if everything would be okay as long as he was there. But it was far from that.
He got up and hugged me, and nothing more. Just a long, warm embrace. I could feel it in the way his heart was beating, something was wrong.

He held my hand tightly, tears streamed down his sharp soft cheekbones as the doctor told me the news, as tenderly as possible, as soft as you could manage letting somebody know that they've been dying.

You see, I never really did tell Paul what was up with all those Doctor appointments, I thought it unnecessary, I thought the cancer cells were completely gone.
I wasn't crying, just shocked.
I guess it doesn't matter, It's not like I had a future or anyone assisting my funeral. My short insignificant life strolled before my feeble pale blue eyes.

I was brought back to real life by the doctor, talking about things we could do to elongate the pain.
"No, I just want to go home, everyone's gotta die anyway" I say frankly.
Suddenly an exalted Paul makes an appearance, "Don't say that! You're not gonna die! Not soon, I'm not letting you."
I scoff, "who are you, God?"
"I'll give you some privacy" says Doc.

As he walks out Paul continues "Rachel you can't just give up, you're young and strong and can get through this. We both can, I'll be here, always."
"A couple hours ago you said you were tired and leaving. Don't pity me, I don't want my health to obligate anyone to anything! I would rather die than live with someone who feels obligated to deal with me. Respect that."
"I was pissed off, I didn't mean anything I said, I don't mean things most of the time, I'm an idiot. I don't pity you, I love you."

Funny, not a word the doctor said stirred my feelings, but with those words Paul made my entire being collapse. I sobbed into his chest, it appeared nothing could calm my trembling body. Until he began to sing softly while rubbing my back,

"Sometimes I feel so happy, Sometimes I feel so sad. Sometimes I feel so happy, but mostly you just make me mad, baby you just make me mad.
Linger on your Pale Blue Eyes.
Thought of you as my mountaintop, thought of you as my peak. Thought of you as everything I had but couldn't keep."

I could feel a funny feeling in me, perhaps it was the cancer but I doubt it, it was love. It was like the first time his eyes met with mine, and the first time our lips touched. It was everything beautiful in the world, it was us lying on a bed alone, it was his arms around me, it was his soothing voice, his warm breath, it was heaven.