
21: My Hopes and Dreams
Riku went into his deep thinking mode while watching IDOLiSH6 dance to RESTART POiNTER, leaving only the centre position open. The boys were doing great. As always, they let their charms shine through.
"Hmm." Riku wondered what would happen if the 7th member were to join them. This song was somewhat different from other I6 songs in that it relied heavily on the centre's vocal power. It wasn't as balanced as the other songs. The coach found it hard to imagine how the 7th member should appear to be like, and it was important since he would be the one setting the image for this song, or for future IDOLiSH7, even.
"Riku, what's up?" Yamato approached their training coach when the song was over. He thought it was strange that Riku had not given them any comments.
Riku just realised he was thinking too hard. He hadn't really watched them. "Ah, sorry everyone. I was lost in thought."
"Is something bothering you?," asked Sougo.
"I was thinking about the 7th member." Riku decided to answer straightforwardly since this matter also concerned those boys. "I was told what his idol image should be like but..."
"You're not sure if you got it right, correct?" Iori knew exactly what Riku was going to say.
"Yeah." Riku nodded. "I was told he is kind, caring, sensitive, and that 'his smile can change the whole world'. Sounds like the complete opposite of me."
Tamaki gave Riku a confused look. "Really? To me, he sounds exactly like you."
"I agree with Tamaki." Nagi came dancing and twirling to Riku. "You ARE very pretty when you smile, Riku."
"You're definitely kind and caring too," Sougo added.
"I have an idea. Why don't we let Riku sing and dance as our 7th member during practice?" Mitsuki voiced his opinion, and it was something I6 had been dying to hear. "We can all see how the overall performance will look."
"And we can give you feedback." Iori thought it was a good call. He then got closer to Riku, whispering in the boy's ear. "Remember Kimi to I6 Night? Just be yourself, Nanase Riku."
"M-me?" Riku pointed at his chin. "Well, I suppose it can't hurt to try."
Having anticipated this whole event, Iori chuckled lightly. The former idol was too adorably innocent. Iori wondered how he could not already know that the centre position was for him. Before long, all seven boys took their starting positions. Riku tapped into his mind, doing some last-minute thinking.
Myself. What did Iori ever mean? Before he became a training coach, all Riku did was get the people around him in trouble in exchange for him being able to feel. Anyway, he could remember the visuals of Kimi to I6 Night quite vividly. Saying it was the best day of Riku's life would not be an exaggeration. He was surrounded by his friends, supported by them and accepted by them. He'd been longing for the taste of happiness he felt that day. Would today be the day he could return to that moment and live in it?
The song started. Think, Riku. The boy told himself to play the role of the 7th member. He had to think of how to improve the already perfect version of IDOLiSH6. As he moved to the beat of the song, he had a vision of what IDOLiSH7 should look like in his mind, and it was up to him, the centre, to make it happen. He treated the mirror in front of him as an audience hall. To give them a world of dreams and smiles, he would need to smile the brightest. Riku time-travelled back to Kimi to IDOLiSH6 night. He wanted to be that boy who discovered joy for the first time in his life.
There he is. Iori smiled, watching his centre lead them to a brighter future. Riku was not just capable of changing the world. He was capable of creating a universe. Iori was sure IDOLiSH7's debut concert was going to change their lives forever.
~~
"Everyone! Our new stage clothes are here!"
One week before their outdoor live concert, their brand new RESTART POiNTER outfits arrived at Takanashi Productions. They were all white and had a proper vibe like Perfection Gimmick's outfits, but with a fun touch of geometric pattern to match the colour each boy represented. It was time for the boys to say goodbye to their mature and unified image.
Immediately, the boys tried their new clothes on. As expected, each outfit fitted perfectly on each member. A proper suit with a tie was made for someone like the cool and sharp Iori and the elegant Nagi. The more lax members, like Yamato and Tamaki, got scarfs instead of ties. Mitsuki and Sougo had geometric patterned cloth attached to their trousers to boost their dance visuals.
Riku looked up at the remaining outfit hung on the wall. A suit with a tie, almost like Iori's, but the red tie gave a more fun vibe with those white polka dot prints. A piece of geometric red cloth was attached to the shoulder part. No other outfits had that. After all, the 7th member was going to be the centre of that song. His outfit had to stand out a little more. And red, huh? Made sense. It was the missing colour needed to make a rainbow, after all. IDOLiSH6 was really going to change. That fact shook Riku, but he didn't want to cry anymore. Not when he saw how happy IDOLiSH6 seemed to be. If they were welcoming that change, then he, as their training coach, should be able to do the same.
7th member. Whoever you are, I hope IDOLiSH6 will be able to keep smiling with you.
If by any chance you become an IDOLiSH7 centre, then I hope you're ready to shoulder Iori's hopes and dreams.
Because that's what I would do if I were you.
———####################################————
Days flew by, and finally, it was time for the rehearsal. Takanashi Productions personnel arrived at the bitterly cold venue. While waiting for the stage staff to set the sound systems up, the idols gathered in the warm prep room. The boys all seemed very focused, except for Riku.
"Tsumugi-san, isn't the 7th member here yet?" The redhead inquired with a worried tone.
Taking Riku's word as a cue, the six idols stopped whatever they were doing and gathered around Riku. Some smiled at him. Some even chuckled. Confused, Riku wore his innocent questioning look. "What is going on?" He wondered why the boys were surrounding him.
"You really are an idiot." Iori narrowed his eyes before speaking to Riku in a monotone. Dealing with a clueless person could be tiring at times. "Do you think I'd easily give up the centre position to just anyone?"
Mitsuki shrugged his shoulders. "And do you think we'd be cool working with a stranger who only appears at the last minute? Not a chance!"
"Riku-kun." Sougo's gentle voice caught the redhead's attention. "Do you remember exactly how the president described the 7th member idol image?"
"Um, of course." Riku nodded hesitantly.
"He's kind." Tamaki began reciting those words Otoharu said to Riku.
"And considerate." Nagi continued.
"Wears his heart on his sleeves." Yamato joined in.
Iori placed his hand on Riku's shoulder. He spoke the last sentence with a gentle smile on his face. "And most importantly, his smile can change the whole world. That's you, Nanase-san."
Together, everyone spoke, "You're our centre, Nanase Riku!"
"M-me?" Riku pointed at his face with a trembling hand. "I-I-I-IDOLiSH7 centre?????"
"Oi, we can't have you stutter like that on stage, you know?" Yamato laughed.
"Here." Tamaki pulled some clothes out of one of the bags. "Your stage clothes, Rikkun." He placed it on Riku's arms. It was that very same outfit he saw a week ago, the one with a cloth attached to the shoulder. The one with the colour red.
Riku looked like he was ready to cry. What did he do to deserve this kindness, this second chance at life? He thought he was ready to give up his idol career and devote his whole life to IDOLiSH6. Now that he was welcomed to the group with open arms, he felt overwhelmingly grateful. He'd be happy just returning as a solo idol, but to be invited as the centre of his favourite group was a great honour.
"Thank you." In the end, Riku burst into tears. So those were what they called 'tears of joy'. Riku had never thought he would be able to experience it himself. "Thank you so much." With his determination set, Riku shouted, "I, Nanase Riku, will give it my all as the centre of IDOLiSH7!"
———####################################————
"Am I really not dreaming, Iori?"
Lying on his beanbag and looking up to the ceiling, Riku thought about the dreamy moment that happened today. Even when he rehearsed in the empty venue, he felt right at home. He was to appear only in the very last song, RESTART POiNTER," yet his heart was about to burst out of his chest.
Setting a cup of warm milk and honey beside Riku, Iori sat down right next to the redhead. "You'd better get yourself together. Our survival depends on you now, Nanase-san."
"Mou, Iori." The redhead used his voice to convey his dissatisfaction. His face remained as expressionless as ever. "You know stress isn't good for my condition, right?"
"Only if you can feel it, except you don't." Iori adored that Riku was at least trying to act like a normal human being would. However, he would have to be more convincing. "You're too unpredictable. You cry over unimportant things, but you don't feel anything when you're supposed to."
Riku let himself sink further into the beanbag. Lying on his side, he could now see Iori's face clearly. "Then how can you trust me with a centre position? What if I was too stoic or too emotional and brought IDOLiSH7 down."
"No, you won't." Iori touched Riku's hand while staring right into those blank, red eyes. "I'll be your control, Nanase-san. When you're too overwhelmed, I'll step in and cover for you. When you can't feel a thing, I'll remind you of something happy."
"If I forget how to feel, can you show me your happy face?" Riku leaned forward while pulling Iori's arm. Iori ended up lying on the remaining bits of the beanbag right next to Riku. "I know seeing your smile makes me happy, Iori." The redhead snuggled up to Iori.
Iori shied away. If he looked at Riku any longer, his heart might have stopped. "W-well, that depends on my mood."
"Then I'll give it my all tomorrow, so you'll be happy."
Iori chuckled. Riku had completely forgotten the point of the conversation. Classic him. The redhead shouldn't have been the one worrying about Iori's happiness when he himself was the one struggling emotionally. Anyway, Riku looked like he had his mind made up, so what right had Iori got to stop him, right?
"Well then, please do." Iori gave Riku his coolest smile.
———####################################————
"Why are we here exactly?"
TRIGGER trio, wearing their disguises, blended in with several thousand people who were waiting for the IDOLiSH6 and, later, IDOLiSH7, to make their appearance. Tenn appeared to be in a bad mood after Gaku bought him and Ryuu tickets to Bright Illumination Live. They were standing pretty near to the circular stage, which was right in the middle of the venue. The youngest claimed he could not care less who the 7th member was and that he'd rather be practising at the agency. How terribly dishonest of him. Pretending to be asleep, Gaku saw Tenn browse through every social media platform every single night, searching for any clue about his brother becoming a member of I7.
Tenn switched one of his penlights on and pressed it seven times. Red. It was the colour that matched Riku's hair. Could just be a coincidence, though, since it was also the colour needed to draw a rainbow. He doubted Takanashi would use gold, Kujou Riku's colour, or a crown symbol. That would be a dead giveaway.
"Oh? You're going to root for the secret member, huh?" Gaku smirked, seeing as Tenn now switched on both of his penlights in red. "He won't come out until the last song, you know?"
Ignoring Gaku completely, Tenn looked up at the empty stage. It has to be him. It has to be Riku. Tenn couldn't quite see eye to eye with Izumi Iori. They disagreed on too many things, but they were both perfectionists. It would take someone incredibly talented to earn their approval and respect. Not counting the members of TRIGGER and IDOLiSH6, Riku was the only person who fit that description in Tenn's eyes. The TRIGGER centre expected a similar standard from the icy prince.
Tenn was opposed to the idea of Riku returning to the spotlight of showbiz. With his weak constitution and appalling naiveté, Tenn believed it wasn't the place for his twin brother. However, he would change his mind and support Riku wholeheartedly on one condition: Riku's smile. If Riku appeared as a sweet boy he used to know well, then and only then he would accept the boy as his rival. Because he knew now that smiling Riku existed somewhere inside that body, so unless Riku was brave enough to show that genuineness to the fans, Tenn would not think him worthy.
Show me, Riku. Your true ability.
Your inner 'monster'.
~~
It was their last day on stage as IDOLiSH6. Riku wondered how the boys on stage were feeling right now. They'd never sing the same version of Dancing Beat!! again. All songs would be rearranged for a cast of seven. With the exception of Perfection Gimmick, Iori would never be the centre again. From the side, Riku watched as the boys created their last miraculous moment with six people. He made sure he captured every moment of that show and imprinted that sight on his memory. He made a vow to never stop those idols from smiling. He swore they would only journey to far greater heights without looking back.
"Not a solo, but we seven will sing as one." Riku turned to the female manager standing right by his side. "Isn't that right, Tsu-manager?"
"Yes, Riku-san." Tsumugi nodded, keeping her eyes on the performance. "Just as IDOLiSH6 cannot exist without missing any of its members, IDOLiSH7 needs you in order to survive."
"I don't think I can ever smile on my own." Moved by the moment, Riku spoke his thoughts without holding back. He kept his eyes on Iori, the person who helped him break into the world of the living. "I've lived pretty much my entire life without feeling anything. Being an idol is my calling. Other than that, I don't know how to live for myself." Riku spread his arms out wide towards the idols on stage. "The smiles on their faces are like the missing pieces of my heart. If they're happy, I'm also happy. If they're sad, I'll probably end up crying. I want to protect them forever."
"I'm sure they want to protect you too." Tsumugi smiled at her new member. "Because you lighten up the whole world when you smile, Riku-san."
~~
Having hyped their fans with energetic songs like Dancing Beat!! and Viva!! Fantastic Life!!!!!!!, IDOLiSH6 knew it was time to change the mood with their last song ever: Perfection Gimmick.
"And that was our final song, everyone!" The moment the melody stopped, Iori took the centre position in the middle of the circular stage. "After this, we will be reborn as a truly complete rainbow. The one that shines over the dark rain clouds." Iori's voice gradually got louder, turning up the drama. "The one that will travel with you on your brightest and darkest days!"
Iori took a deep breath in, and with the loudest voice, he announced, "As of this moment, I, Izumi Iori, resign from the centre position!"
"No way!" Some fans gasped in shock.
"AHHHHHHHH I'll miss IDOLiSH6!!" Some fans screamed wildly. Some could be seen crying.
Iori smiled as the lights dimmed out. He had successfully created a storm. The rest would be up to Riku to light up the sky with his glittering soul.
With only dim lights shining on them, the boys walked down the aisle with their heads down to the main stage with stairs in front. There, they slowly disappeared below the stage. The dead silent venue felt colder than ever without those lights and fire from the boys.
"Riku!"
The boys rushed out after changing to regroup with their new centre. Riku was already standing in his designated position, which would take him to the top of the stairs in less than a minute. Each boy flashed a hopeful smile at the redhead before being taken upwards to the staircase bottom. Riku returned a reassuring smile to them. He was ready. Ready to live. Ready to breathe. Ready to feel.
The stage remained dark when Riku was transported to the very top. While keeping his head down, he could already hear the voices of the people screaming. Within seconds, the large screen on top of the boys' heads started showing visuals. It started with Iori's picture with the number one and a double flat symbol, followed by Yamato's number and symbol, and so on. Until finally, the screen flashed red. The number was seven, and the symbol was a double sharp, but when the idol figure was about to fade in, the screen shut itself down. Right at that moment, the melody of RESTART POiNTER played. A single spotlight shone on the seventh secret idol when he began singing with his crisp, clear, and bright voice. Nanase Riku spread his arms wide. At the same time, he lifted his head up, revealing his most beautiful smile, full of joy. There was no hint of an aura of darkness emitting from the boy; only the radiant glow of light shone through. His pureness, accompanied by his perfect dance and vocal prowess, brought hope to all in the venue, especially the six boys who were waiting for him as he walked down the stairs.
This is how I want everyone to feel. This is the smile I want everyone to have. Watch me, watch us. Let our rainbow shine through your hearts. This is joy. This is happiness. Go on, may our pretty flowers bloom forever. May they never scatter, and may they stand for all eternity.
Riku's steps became much lighter. He did not need to tap into the depths of his heart to create an impactful show. There was no need to channel his inner emotions. They were right there on the surface, where he could also see and feel them. He was no longer in the world of dreams; he was in a reality full of dreams. The redhead was working magic. Charmed by him, the other members moved in a much more natural way to the melody. Brimming with hope, they let loose their inner dancers, wanting to help their centre create the perfect world.
"Riku..." Unable to stop his running tears, Tenn screamed for his little brother. "PLEASE DON'T EVER STOP SMILING I LOVE YOU!!!"
You really are our superstar, Nanase-san. Iori found himself glancing Riku's way far too frequently. You're meant to shine among the stars. Even when you can't feel much, your true personality always finds its way through.
To me, you're anything but a monster, Riku.
———####################################————
Riku's radiant smile tore the bad rumours about him having a cold personality to shreds. People had seen how much he ran around greeting people during an encore at Bright Illumination Live. Some people would say it was a brilliant act for sure, but the fans who were actually there in person knew it wasn't just an act. Still, several other rumours began to circulate around IDOLiSH7. Why did Nanase Riku, formerly Kujou Riku, share the same surname as TRIGGER's centre? The stuff about his name was probably the hottest topic of all.
Tenn and Riku found themselves in front of the Zero Arena, standing right next to each other. For a while, they welcomed the moment of peace. They stood still, listening to the sound of the cold wind hitting their bodies. A sense of relief filled their minds. Having revealed their family relationship to the public, Tenn felt like the last thing keeping them from being together was gone for good.
"It's strange," Riku was the first to break the silence. "I'm not crying this time."
"Why would you?" Tenn turned to face Riku.
"I always end up breaking down here at Zero Arena." With a sad look, Riku glanced at the spot where he tried to jump off into the water. If Iori hadn't been there, he would never be here as an idol, as himself.
Tenn knew what Riku was thinking. He had had a good talk with Izumi Iori, and he appreciated that Iori had told him the truth. "Listen, Riku," Tenn called Riku's name with a serious tone so he'd get the boy's full attention. "You're not a solo idol anymore. You're IDOLiSH7's beloved centre. You don't just live for the fans anymore. You also live for those boys, but don't forget, you need to live for yourself too."
"Tenn-nii..." Riku blushed.
"Not just that. You are also TRIGGER's rival. My rival. Let us always compete and show our fans the best versions of ourselves." Tenn gave Riku his caring smile. His brother had grown, had he not?
Riku nodded firmly. "Sure! We'll never lose to TRIGGER, ever!" The boy once had a dream of standing on the same stage, singing with his twin brother. While that version of his dream would never come true, he could still be closer than ever to Tenn as his rival.
———####################################————
"I get to pair up with Iori?"
The two idols found themselves at a cafe, where they first talked properly. Iori broke the news of him and Riku becoming a subunit in IDOLiSH7. The youngest told Tsumugi he'd tell Riku himself, but whether he asked Tsumugi to pair him up with Riku as a subunit or not remained a secret. Anyway, it didn't seem to make Riku react much. The redhead continued to eat his raspberry cheesecake, keeping a straight face. Iori was hoping for more.
The former centre sighed. "Didn't you say you'd pick me during Kimi to I6 night?" Despite having a sharp and cool persona, he had feelings, thank you very much. He wanted to sulk, or rather, he was sulking.
"You know, I was thinking," Riku put his fork down. Whether Riku caught that Iori wanted his attention or not, Iori couldn't tell. "What would happen if you hadn't come into my prep room that day."
"You're talking about that day you hurt Nanase Tenn," spoke Iori, straightforwardly. "Why think about it now?"
"So many things have changed since that day, and I realise one thing," Riku stared into Iori's sharp eyes. "You're mean. Even in a polite manner, you just say what you think, and you keep calling me an idiot."
Ouch. "N-Nanase-san?" Iori was frozen in shock.
"Even so," Riku pushed his plate of cake off to the side and reached forward so he could grab hold of Iori's hands. "You're actually very cute."
With his thought process shut down, Iori could only blush. Speak, Iori. Nope, not happening. It was then, when he was at his weakest point, that a pretty smile appeared on Riku's face. It was nothing like Iori had ever seen before. It must have been the purest smile ever.
"You're the colour of my life. I love you, Iori."
———################——–END——####################————
Right, so here it was. The last chapter. I hope you enjoyed the whole fic overall.
Thank you lovely ppl for going on this ride with me. I really appreciate your support!
If you like my work i have some other ainana fics please check them out on my profile. Ehehe~
I'm not really active on Twitter as of now but if you'd like to have ainana friend then my account is @ kenarkrsun
Lastly, some long, final fic notes before I go:
- "I, Nanase Riku, will give it my all as the centre of IDOLiSH7!" I vaguely remember the japanese line in season one anime when Riku was announced a centre. Something like 'i'll do it even if i die' which sounds kinda extreme in Eng so i decided to go with this.
- Iori saying "I'll be your control" was taken from canon. I can't remember what they were talking about tho.
- I had the whole fic pre-written before I started posting. Yup. Still I often found myself adding some last-minute content before posting since I had to proofread and couldn't stop myself :P
- Why did I not write anymore about Kujou or Tsukumo? I thought a lot about this while writing but hey, baby Riku got his comeback. Tsukumo and Kujou had clearly lost their greatest treasure (and perhaps they didn't really realise it). I thought it was best to keep the celebratory mood. Those two didn't necessarily need their proper endings, be it good or bad. Also, I left it like that in case I ever want to make a sequel fic out of this. Ofc, I understand some might disagree with me.
- RESTART POiNTER, yup! That song is Riku-comeback-focused in canon so that's why I went with it instead of MonGen. At first I wrote the whole outfit part for MonGen and had to backtrack and change previous chapter. Hopefully I didn't mess up anywhere haha. Obviously that song has to come with steps/stairs XD
- Why did I write a reimagined version? Let's say I'm not satisfied with the writing quality of the original fic and I want to practise. Obviously, this isn't a perfect reimagined version but hey, I dare say learned a lot more things. I feel much more proud knowing I took time to write each paragraph and going back and forth before publishing them. The endings, character devs are different so whether you prefer original fic or this fic better I'm happy to hear your thoughts nonetheless.
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