"Sou-chan, you good?"

Tamaki ran up to Sougo as soon as the older boy exited the examination room in the hospital. Sougo collapsed once due to stress, which caused him great abdominal pain. He was here today with Tamaki for a check-up.

Sougo answered with a gentle smile on his face. "I'm fine, Tamaki-kun."

Tamaki's face lit up. "Yay!!! I'm so glad, Sou-chan!" Sparkles appeared in his light blue eyes. "Can we go to that Ousama Pudding booth in the hospital park?"

"Ousama pudding again?" Sougo chuckled. "Sure, but don't eat too much, okay?"

"'Kay~" Tamaki skipped joyfully to the hospital park. Once he got there, he ran straight to the small booth selling his favourite pudding. While Sougo was following behind, a group of children wearing hospital clothes caught his eye. They were surrounding a young man with red hair. Curious, Sougo decided to walk closer to them.

"That man... is he singing?" Sougo took a moment to listen to a children's song. The man's voice was crystal clear. The tone was very pleasant to his ears. Sougo wished he could stand there and listen forever. That beautiful voice drew him closer to the source. Not wanting to startle the man or the children, Sougo kept his distance.

Sougo gasped when he saw the face of the singing man.

"Onii-san, one more song pleawse!" One by one, the children pleaded with the man to keep singing.

"Alright, just one more, okay?" The man offered the children a kind smile.

Sougo found it touching as if he was looking at an angel. The smile, though small, looked gentle. It offered warmth in a way Sougo could not explain.

Sougo was transported into another world the instant the man started singing. Ah, how he wished he was a child of a loving parent, as this must be what it felt like. The hospitalised children could probably feel this warmth as well. They went quiet, listening intently instead of singing along.

Kujou Riku-kun, were you always this tender and caring?

———####################################————

Iori ventured into a cafe full of flowers in town. Every part of the place, be it the stairs, the rails, the lights, the window edges, and the counter, were decorated with fake flowers such as roses and hydrangeas. Vases of elegantly arranged real flowers were put on each table. He didn't think Nanase Tenn would pick a place like this as their meeting spot.

"I'm not into flowers and all that," Tenn spoke, keeping a straight face. "They serve nice floral tea here, and since you offer to pay, might as well pick a good one." Actually, Tenn loved cakes here. He did not want to say it directly, though.

Iori let Tenn have his preferred set for two when they got to the counter. Internally, the boy jumped for joy when he saw Tenn pointed at that set. It offered two flowery, creamy and fluffy white cakes. Yup, totally cute. By the way, yes, Iori offered to pay because he hated to bother TRIGGER when they were so busy, but there was a matter he had to discuss.

Soon, the boys found themselves at the table in the corner. "So, what is it that you want to talk about, Izumi Iori?" Tenn asked casually. He started eating the cake in front of him without wasting a second. He didn't even touch the tea in the pot.

"I met Kujou Takamasa the other day."

Immediately, Tenn placed his fork down and began listening intently.

"He called Kujou-san a monster. I want to know if you have any idea what he meant by that."

Tenn looked angry. "Calling my sweet Riku a monster. How dare he."

Yikes. Iori hated the glare of that brocon. Nevertheless, he continued. "He added that he must keep a monster in control. He also asked if I'd seen Riku smile. I wonder if these points are related somehow."

"Hmm..." Tenn pondered. "It kind of makes sense in a way, I guess?"

"What?" Iori didn't think Tenn would actually have an answer for him. He found himself leaning forward slightly more, intrigued by the answer.

"Well, the Riku I know is a sensitive boy." Tenn stopped for a bit to pour his tea. He needed that for a long conversation. "On top of that, he is naive, but that is what makes him pure and genuine. That pureness is what makes him adorable. If he's happy, he'll smile brightly, in a way that makes people want to smile with him."

Iori's eyes widened. He understood totally what Tenn had just said. He remembered how his heart bloomed when he saw Riku at Kimi to IDOLiSH6 night. Come to think of it, were the other members not drawn to that smile too? Hmm. They probably were. He remembered them gathering around Riku for the first time. If Tenn described that as Riku's power, it made total sense.

"Think about it, Izumi. What if the pure and sensitive Riku became an idol? If he was happy, then great. He could make the whole audience hall sing with him. But what if he wasn't in a good mood on the day he had to perform?"

Disaster. Iori had his answer in his mind. Finally, he began to understand Kujou Takamasa's method a little. Riku's ultimate weapon was his sincerity, his smile to be exact. Yet it was also a bomb, meaning it could blow up at any time when he was upset by something. Especially when his emotions could also trigger a respiratory attack. Takamasa decided to get rid of that unreliability by stopping Riku's emotions altogether.

"If I was Takamasa, I'd never let Riku into showbiz." Tenn looked away, probably thinking of the past.

Iori couldn't agree with Takamasa's method. Then again, he didn't exactly agree with Tenn. With that talent, Riku deserved a spot in the entertainment industry. The boy just did not deserve to be treated like a living doll.

"You've been quiet, Izumi." Tenn faced Iori once again. He smiled reservedly. Today, he was surprisingly in a good mood. "To think you worry this much about my little brother, it's adorable. Perhaps Riku is your 'secret date' I6's been talking about?" The boy giggled, but he soon stopped and dropped his angelic smile as he got into another serious topic. "Can you reach Riku at all?"

Iori shook his head. "Unfortunately, no."

Riku was not in contact with anyone, not even Nanase Tenn.

———####################################————

"Hahhhh..."

Riku let out a loud sigh as he flopped on the playground swing. His days filled with nothing but work had been tiring. He had been showered with letters, gifts, and compliments from several people, yet he did not know what to do with them. He could not get excited or happy when the world around him was dull. Looking up at the starless sky, Riku wondered what he was fighting for. Being an idol was his escape and his life. Why couldn't he be proud of himself? His stage did not feel as dazzling as IDOLiSH6's. He tried time and time again to not think. Lately, it had been quite tough for his conflicted heart.

A part of him told him to follow Tenn's advice and be free, whatever that meant. He could just drop everything by abandoning his fans and cutting ties with his father. His usual self told him to dismiss the thought. As an idol, thinking of abandoning his fans was already a crime in itself.

"Riku-kun is so cold tho. He never even glances at me."

Riku recalled one of the comments he read on social media. It hit him hard when he was so deep in thought. Right now, he wasn't abandoning his fans, he was ignoring them! It was just as bad. The boy ruffled his head with his fingers. Whimpering, he wished for someone to show him a path of light.

"I want you to be free."

Tenn's words came to haunt him yet again. Maybe somewhere deep inside his heart, he was yearning for freedom. Even if he did not know what to do with it, he would still like to have his right. Then and there, Riku decided to grab his phone and punched in his father's number. He took a deep breath. Luckily or not, Takamasa picked up after two beeps.

"Son, it is not very often that you call me, hmm?"

"Father." Riku hoped his voice would sound as robotic as ever. "I need to discuss a serious matte-"

"I take it this is about your parents."

Riku's whole body shook. He had not said anything or acted strangely, so he did not expect his father to know that he would bring this up. "How did you know?" His voice was now shaken uncontrollably.

"A few weeks ago, Nanase Tenn was hurt, wasn't he? Apparently, someone threatened Tsukumo using this information."

Riku could hear a tapping sound on the other side. His father was probably repeatedly tapping his finger on his desk.

"That is true, isn't it Riku? I can think of only one reason why you would go berserk." Takamasa continued.

Riku went completely silent, unknowingly holding his breath. He was wrong to think he was ready to confront his father.

"Or perhaps someone has messed with that little brain of yours, son?" Takamasa chuckled. "Well? Now that you've obtained an unreliable thing called emotion, why don't you show me what you can do? Go on. Defy me. Run away and leave your fans behind."

No! That's wrong! Whimpering, Riku shook his head violently. He didn't want to hear anymore.

"You know you can't do it, Riku. In the end, it's your emotions that are stopping you from being free."

Riku's phone slipped out of his hand and fell to the floor. Burying his face in his hands, he cried out. He shouldn't have called his father. Holding on to false hope and being told he did not have that option in the first place was crushingly painful. Takamasa was right. He could not do a thing. What could a performing puppet hope to do other than perform? Having emotions only seemed to hurt him so far.

"You okay?"

Riku gasped when he heard footsteps and voices so close to him. He panicked, not wanting anyone to see him, a cool idol, being a total mess. At first, he became pale when he looked up to find two men standing in front of him. One was a tall, green-haired man, wearing glasses. The other was a short, orange-haired... boy? Wait! Riku knew them. "Yamato-san and Mitsuki-san?"

"Ah... hah... wahhhh!" In the end, Riku broke down. He was not in a state to keep his emotions in check. "I c-can't *sob* take it anymore."

"Whoa, easy there." Taken aback by the state Riku was in, Yamato wrapped his arm around Riku's shaken body. That was what his instinct was telling him to do. "A living doll, my a*s. This is a crying doll!"

"Settle down, Kujou. What's wrong?" Mitsuki bent down and picked up the phone that was lying underneath Riku's swing. "Is this yours?" He was surprised by how forcefully Riku took the phone from his hand. Something was very wrong. Interrogating Riku now sounded like a wasted effort, so he tried to think of other ways to solve the problem. First, they had to get out of this playground. It was a public area, after all.

"What do we do now, Mitsu?," asked a worried Yamato. He could feel Riku was leaning all his weight on him. At this rate, the redhead was going to fall off and flop to the floor. Something had completely sapped Riku's strength, he at least knew that much.

Mitsuki thought long and hard before coming to his final decision. "Let's take him to our dorm. Maybe Iori can help."

———####################################————

While Nagi was happily cooking dinner at the IDOLiSH6 dorm, Sougo, Tamaki, and Iori were relaxing in the common area. When the boys heard the sound of jangling keys, Sougo was the first to get up and went to the front door. "Welcome home, Yama-eh? Kujou-kun?!"

Iori and Tamaki looked at each other in surprise before getting up and rushing to join Sougo. Iori frowned when he saw the pale, tired-looking Riku with swollen red eyes. "What on earth...?"

"I'm afraid we have a situation here," Yamato spoke as he shut the door behind him.

"We found this guy crying his eyes out, so we thought it'd be best to take him here for now," Mitsuki added

"I'm- *cough cough cough*" Riku couldn't speak a full sentence without choking. "Sorry to intrude."

"I'll get some warm tea." Seeing how unwell Riku was, Sougo went into the kitchen area to find some herbal tea.

"I'll handle him, Nikaidou-san" Iori went up to his group leader and nodded before grabbing Riku's wrist. After all, he knew Riku best, even though it felt like he did not know him at all considering how far they'd been apart.

"Alright." Trusting his little brother for the time being, Mitsuki joined Nagi in the kitchen. "We'll make dinner for all of us. Shout if you need anything."

Iori dragged Riku into his room and made the older boy sit on his chair. The Riku in front of him was just like Riku from that day at the apartment: messy and pretty much shattered. "Focus on taking deep breaths for now, Kujou-san. Once you've settled down a bit more, we can talk." He double-checked to make sure his door was properly shut.

"I called my father about my parents." Out of the blue, Riku spoke with a cracked voice. He desperately needed someone to talk to. "It was stupid of me, wasn't it? What did I hope to achieve by doing so, I wonder?"

"Oh, good." Iori took a seat opposite Riku.

"What?" Of all the possible responses, Riku didn't expect that from Iori.

"It means you haven't given up on your feelings, Kujou-san."

Riku looked up at Iori's face. His eyes were drawn to those icy cold eyes, which hid the kindness within. "I don't know about that, Iori. I kind of regret this." Riku looked away, feeling guilty somehow.

"Are you saying you don't want to feel anymore?" Iori gave Riku a deadly glare.

The redhead nodded hesitantly.

Iori sighed. He couldn't believe how hopeless and pitiful Riku appeared to be. "You really do need to value yourself more, Kujou-san. You deserve to have feelings. And forget worrying about getting everyone involved. We're already involved. You're kind, but you're also cruel, Kujou-san. How do you expect yourself, me, or Nanase-san to be happy when you don't allow yourself to be happy?"

The icy prince locked eyes with the solo idol. He hoped he had managed to get his message across. He hoped that Riku understood that he was not bothering anyone. Relying on other people was something humans do. Though it might sound weak, it could be a very beautiful thing, and Riku was definitely allowed to lean on other people. Iori thought Riku was strong in trying to bear all the hurt and pain by himself. He found himself drawn to Riku, who was in a state so close to breaking. He wanted to hold Riku tightly so that the boy wouldn't break into pieces. Gently, Iori placed each of his hands on Riku's arm. He slowly pulled Riku in closer while leaning himself forward until he could feel Riku's breath on his face.

Riku was too weak to resist or do anything else, so he closed his eyes, waiting for the moment Iori's lips would touch his.

*knock knock knock.*

"Dinner's ready, guys!" Mitsuki shouted from the other side of the door.

"Fwah!" Iori quickly pulled away, blushing hard. What the hell was he thinking?! "*ahem.* L-let's not keep everyone waiting, Kujou-san." Right. Nothing happened. Nothing at all. Good acting, Iori.

"Feeling any better, Kujou?," asked Yamato when he saw Riku following Iori to the dinner table.

Riku nodded. He looked sad, but he was doing his best to function through the overwhelming emotion. "Thanks for helping me out there." He then turned to face Mitsuki. "Mitsuki-san too, thank you."

"It's cool, Kujou." Mitsuki talked while preparing seven plates of homemade curry. "Glad to see you're doing better."

"Here, Kujou-san." Sougo placed a warm cup of herbal tea on the table while Tamaki was pulling the chair backwards for Riku to sit on. "Hopefully, this will warm you up nicely." He gave Riku a gentle smile. Nagi ran back to his room and returned with a Kokona plushie. He set it on Riku's lap, hoping it would make the redhead feel less lonely.

At the dinner table, Riku was overwhelmed by the kindness the IDOLiSH6 boys were offering him. They tried to keep him in the loop, even when he couldn't understand the conversation sometimes. As if they knew Riku needed a moment away from his torture, they made sure dinnertime was a moment of merriment. For the first time, he wanted to thank these people very much. So this was gratitude, yet another feeling discovered under the rain clouds. He bowed before all the members before stepping outside the dorm.

"You sure you're going to be fine, Kujou-san?" Iori walked out to see Riku off. One last time. Just one last time, he wanted to make sure Riku was okay.

"Iori."

Suddenly, Riku turned around, pulling Iori's arm so that the younger boy got super close to him. With swift movements, he touched Iori's cheeks with both hands before leaning forward and kissing him. Iori went wide-eyed in total surprise. When Riku pulled away, he whispered in Iori's ears:

"I'm going to try, Iori."

One last time.

———####################################————

*serves warm tea* Welcome back lovely ppl and Kenar hopes you enjoyed this chapter! It seems some bits are starting to differ from the original fic huh? 

Chapter notes:- right I forgot to mention last chap that calling Riku a monster was also in canon.

Until next chap~!