"My, my. Someone's been very naughty."

"Manager." Kujou Riku was faced with his manager, who waited eagerly right in front of his apartment door.

"Relaaaax, Riku." Ryo's tone was derisive as ever. "As long as you continue to bring Tsukumo fame and money, I don't have a problem with you taking odd jobs." He showed Riku a piece of important-looking paper. Ah, Tsukumo had already talked business with Takanashi Productions. "But it's not me you're concerned about, is it?" Tsukumo took Riku's silence as his cue to continue. He whispered in Riku's ear, "I'm gracious and open-minded, unlike someone's daddy."

Cruel. Did his manager come here only to mock him now that he knew Riku would be most vulnerable? As a manager, he obviously knew how Riku was raised as an untouchable figurine, only to be admired. After Riku had his heart exposed to the world, the thought of locking it back up must be at least a bit painful. Yet Tsukumo found his idol's pain entertaining?

The boy entered his apartment and shut the door in Tsukumo's face. Enough. He didn't want to hear any more of that mockery. His true nightmare began when his phone went off seconds later. Exhausted, Riku picked it up and sat down right then and there, leaning his back against the door.

"Hello, father."

"Son." Kujou Takamasa spoke in his neutral tone. Was he not mad? "I was only trying to protect you, yet you defied me so."

"Protect me?," asked Riku in his monotone voice.

"Correct." answered Takamasa. "Tell me how you feel right now, Riku."

Pain. Heartache. Guilt. If only Riku could name them all. He was feeling them because he felt he was not allowed to have feelings. How confusing. "I'm hurting, father." A naive little boy couldn't possibly win against a cunning man.

"See? If you had not allowed yourself to be clouded by weak illusions such as emotions, you wouldn't have to suffer like this."

No, this whole thing is wrong. Riku wanted to object, but he couldn't possibly say so. He remembered how nice it felt to allow himself to enjoy something. If having feelings meant he had to experience sadness as well as happiness, he would choose to have them. The boy wept. He needed more time to stop those tears.

"Rest well, my son." Takamasa grinned, knowing he had won.

And so the boy soon slept, not knowing that the next morning he would forget how he felt that night. He would remember having the best time of his life, but he would not be able to live it again. After all, for years and years, he was trained to dismiss his emotions. The habit could not be broken so easily.

———####################################————

Going back to the night IDOLiSH6 were to hold their very first 'Kimi to IDOLiSH6 Night' TV show, TRIGGER feared the worst. Their injuries weren't serious, but the doctor insisted that they stay at the hospital tonight.

When Tenn was being dragged out of the crashed car, he kept shouting for someone to contact Takanashi Productions. He worried more about the trouble he would cause the I6 boys than about his own life. That was the kind of person he was: a professional angel who lived for the smiles of his fans.

The three boys had their eyes glued to the TV screen on the wall in their private hospital room. The show was about to start. Frustrated, Gaku could hardly sit still. He and Ryuu were just as worried about the I6 boys.

"Damn it! Why are we stuck here?! We should've been there with them!" The leader vented.

"Shhh! Quiet, Gaku. It's starting!" Tenn hissed.

TRIGGER paused to look at each other the moment Riku entered the scene.

"How...?" Gaku expressed his disbelief.

"I didn't know they were acquainted," Ryuu added.

Tenn set his curiosity aside and instead focused intently on his little brother. He closely observed how his little brother spoke, acted, and reacted during the show. Perhaps he had his hopes too high. There was a hint of life in Riku's expressions, but he was hoping for more. That wasn't quite the sweet little brother he knew yet. Was that lovable soul truly gone?

"Whoa, that vocal..."

The centre was woken up by Gaku's surprised tone. He was lost in thoughts at some point, but no longer. The idol looked up at the screen. How bright! That dying soul suddenly glittered under the spotlight. "Riku!" Finally, Tenn saw that smile he had yearned to see. He couldn't help getting up from his hospital bed and walking closer to the screen. "It's Riku! It's the real him!" He was so happy he could cry. He'd rather not do it in front of his teammates, though.

"Now I can kind of see why you'd call him sweet. And here I thought you were just being a brocon," spoke Gaku. He escaped Tenn's glare this time.

"Not saying his solo performance isn't fantastic, but he blends really well with I6," Ryuu commented. "Each member has a unique personality, so you'd think they'd clash. Surprisingly, they come together as one, like a rainbow."

"You're saying Kujou is almost like a part of that rainbow, right?" Gaku predicted what Ryuu was going to say. "I get what you mean."

"Riku..." Tenn would kill to see a smile like that. He thought about how much Riku must suffer every day, physically and mentally, to put on his Kujou Riku solo performance, which did not suit his style at all. "I need to talk to him!" Tenn suddenly blurted it out to his friends. He felt it was his duty to save his twin from suffering.

"I can't forgive him for treating you like that." Gaku got angry just thinking about Music Festa. He earned a shocked look from Tenn. "But I will respect your decision, Tenn."

Ryuu nodded along with the leader.

Feeling relieved, a small smile appeared on Tenn's face. "Thanks, guys." Though it almost went unheard, the young boy greatly appreciated the support.

———####################################————

Izumi Iori wholeheartedly supported his big brother, so when he was scouted, he asked President Takanashi to recruit Mitsuki as well. He was here solely to help his brother achieve his dream of becoming a legendary idol like Zero. Yet he found himself getting distracted by personal matters.

That idiot kissed me on the cheek! Iori grabbed his pillow, giving it a tight squeeze. He buried his face in the pillow, hoping he would get over that goodbye kiss already. It was two weeks ago! How could a perfect high school boy like him succumb to such a weakness of the heart? He felt it was embarrassing.

Sitting back up, he let out a big sigh. Managing I6 and being a centre was almost too much for him to handle, and now he had to worry about his friend too. Iori was tired. It didn't help at all when Riku had not sent him a single text since that night.

But I want to live in the world you are living in, a world where it isn't a crime to feel.

Iori recalled what Riku had said. The solo idol was without a doubt hurting, and part of that was his fault. Iori couldn't help feeling guilty. Riku seemed alright on TV but he'd never know what was going on underneath that robotic face. Iori asked himself: Had Riku forgotten how he felt that day? Had the happy Riku disappeared forever?

Knock, knock.

"Iori, I'm coming in." It was Mitsuki.

Interrupted by a familiar voice, Iori hurriedly threw his pillow to the top of his bed before flopping down, pretending to be asleep.

"I know you're not sleeping." Too bad Mitsuki saw through the obvious. He walked in before stopping in front of his little brother's loft bed. "Tell me what's going on."

"Nothing is going on, Nii-san." Iori denied it, not getting up to face his big brother.

"You can't fool me, Iori. I've known you since you were little." Mitsuki climbed up the ladder and pulled Iori's shoulder. "It's clear as day that something's on your mind." He wasn't about to leave without hearing what was stressing his little brother out. "It's about Kujou, isn't it?" He had his suspicions, and they were confirmed by Iori's widened eyes. "Talk to me, Iori." The shorter boy lowered his voice, hoping to let Iori know he was concerned about his little brother's wellbeing.

Iori sighed for the hundredth time today. He finally gave in. He didn't have the energy to fight his brother, nor did he want to have conflicts within the group. Sitting up, he shifted a bit to his right so Mitsuki could sit right next to him. "Next time we meet Kujou, it won't be the same." He started.

"Why?" Mitsuki sounded surprised. "He didn't do anything to you, did he?"

Well, he did alright. "No, it's just-" Iori took a pause. He probably had to start from the beginning. "Kujou-san is supposed to strictly follow his father's orders, and that includes suppressing his emotions."

Mitsuki's eyebrows shrugged. "You mean he isn't allowed to get angry, cry, or be happy?"

Iori nodded. "Ever since he was little, so he's pretty much forgotten those feelings."

"That's just not right!" Mitsuki wouldn't believe it if those words weren't from his younger brother.

Iori proceeded to explain how he first met Riku in person at Music Festa, including Riku's relationship with Nanase Tenn. He talked about how Riku wanted to be able to understand other people's feelings and how he ended up risking himself to help IDOLiSH6. "I haven't heard from him since. I'm worried that he might get into trouble, or worse, that he might be giving up on his feelings." The boy couldn't believe he spilt everything out to Mitsuki in his vulnerable state. He had never done anything like this before. He was always the one to carry the burden, and now that he confided in his big brother, he felt relieved and warm.

Mitsuki had never thought the moment he could be there for his perfect little brother would turn out to be like this. Nevertheless, he was glad to take on the role of the proper big brother.

———####################################———

"Why are you *huff* watching me practise today, manager?" Dancing and twirling to the rhythm of the melody, Riku started a conversation with Ryo who was standing at the back of his practice room. He wasn't supposed to stop, so he kept his feet moving, but surely he could ask a question or two. "You've never cared to watch me perform before."

Tsukumo seemed amused by the question. "Well, what do you think?"

"Father told you to keep an eye on me, did he not? Ah-" Riku leapt into the air beautifully. However, he stumbled upon landing and ended up falling to his knees. "*cough cough!*"

"Nice answer! As expected from a puppet." Ryo walked slowly towards the idol. "It's called a business deal in the human world, Riku." He emphasised those two words, hoping to rile Riku up a little. After all, playing with Riku's emotions was something he found to be very entertaining. The fox looked downwards at the struggling idol. "Your condition seems to be giving you trouble lately, hmm? Is it because you miss being free?" As usual, he never waited for Riku to answer. "Little fairy, I'm afraid your puny wings are broken." He knelt down, reaching his hand to grab Riku's chin. "You belong at the top. Alone."

Riku returned a blank look to Tsukumo. Did something go missing? Wasn't he angry before? No matter how hard he tried to hold on to any of his feelings, they seemed to go away so rapidly. He remembered being happy that day he practised, danced, and sang with I6, but he couldn't quite recall what happiness actually felt like. Just thinking about it threw Riku into a coughing fit. Why did his chest have to get so tight every time he thought about it?

"Boy, you'd better get yourself together before Sound Ship."

Ah, right. Sound Ship, one of the year's most important events, was scheduled for tomorrow. It was where he would get to meet I6 again, and TRIGGER too. Riku used his inhaler, and before long, he took his dancing formation. He practised as if nothing ever happened. After all, he was an idol before he was a human.

———####################################————

"Why don't you give him a call Iori?"

Staring at his phone, Iori recalled the conversation he had with Mitsuki the other night.

"I'm afraid I might end up troubling him like last time."

Mitsuki encouraged his little brother to call Kujou, especially when Iori seemed worried about the solo idol's wellbeing.

"Iori, he might want to hear from you as well. He could be hesitating too. Sometimes, you've got to act first," was the advice Mitsuki gave him.

The icy prince wondered whether he should hit the call button. They would meet at Sound Ship the next afternoon anyway. Then again, he really was worried about his friend. Iori squeezed his eyes shut when he finally hit Riku's number with his thumb. He didn't have to wait long before the beeping stopped. "Evening, Kujou-san."

"Iori?! *cough cough cough!*"

Iori caught a surprised tone in Riku's voice, but more importantly, "Are you alright?!" What was that coughing fit? That didn't sound good at all.

"Um, yeah. Just a little... tired."

Iori sighed. Nope, not convincing at all, especially when the guy had to pause mid-sentence. "Will you even be able to stand on stage tomorrow?"

"Like I have a choice."

Iori was stunned. Riku's voice was hoarse, as expected, but those words! Iori could hardly believe that came out of Riku's mouth, out of someone who, knowingly or unknowingly, loved performing for his fans, who loved the attention from them. "Are you crazy? Kuj-"

"Iori, can't we talk about something else?"

The high school boy couldn't keep up with the sudden change in Riku's tone. That cold bitterness turned into something so soft, almost weak. It sounded as if Riku was pleading. Iori wished he could look at Kujou in the eye so that he would understand what he was going through a bit more. Iori wished he could know whether Riku wanted support or space.

"I miss Tenn-nii."

Iori listened intently to that fragile voice. He shifted his phone slightly to make sure he could hear that voice clearly.

"I miss the stage. I miss that day. I miss you."

Riku was crying, and Iori didn't know what made the emotionless boy so broken. The icy prince wished he could ask so that they could have a proper conversation. He clutched his phone tightly. He couldn't bring himself to say anything other than some calming words. He whispered to his friend, "Everything will be alright, Kujou-san," hoping it would stop the sobbing sounds. "Tomorrow will be better, surely."

———####################################————     

Hewlo lovely ppl! Kenar is back with an update once again! Hmm, I can't think of what to say here. As always, thanks for reading!