After heading upstairs Dean and I got into our nightwear of choice. Dean immediately got into our large bed but I held back a moment longer, "i'm going to get a bottle of water."

"I can get it for you love." Dean said as he began to get out of the bed.

"No it's fine, I'll be right back." I replied, already turning to leave the room. I took my time going down the stairs, and once I made it to the kitchen I did in fact take a bottle of water out of the refrigerator. I wasn't thirsty but took a sip anyways, I looked around the finely setup kitchen then padded toward the grand dining room. Next I found myself walking around our main living area.

Time seemed to pass me by as I wandered aimlessly throughout the house, trying to make it seem more real that this is MY house, that I AM going to be the Luna of this pack.

But deep inside I still felt like a confused teenager who was playing grownup in a house not really suited for me.

When I finally returned to the master suite I found Dean already fast asleep. I crawled onto my side of the bed and laid awake for several hours wondering if I'd be a good enough Luna for this pack, if I'd be a good mate for Dean...or if I'd just be a disappointment all around.

I couldn't tell you when sleep finally came but all I remember was waking up several times throughout the evening with the same nightmare: me giving birth to a third daughter and seeing the disappointment written clearly on Deans face as I had let him down yet again.

__________

"Girl you know I love you...but you look like shit." Steph sounded as I grabbed my books from my locker.

"I couldn't sleep last night." I grumbled.

She nodded, "if you want we can ditch third and have a run...every since I shifted I find running helps me think."

I blushed with embarrassment, "is it bad that I still can't control my shifts?"

'A Luna who can't shift on command.'

She shook her head no. "My mom was basically a drill Sargent when it came to me shifting...she's always telling me 'you never know when you'll have to shift and you don't want to stay stuck in your animal form' it was horrible having to do it over and over." She filled me in with a slight roll of her eyes at the end. "But i'll help you Cass."

"Staying in wolf form doesn't sound so bad." I put in, I knew she would pick up on my mellow dramatics.

"It may seem like a good alternative than to face your problems, but stay in your wolf form too long and you'll become wild."

Now I shook my head, Stephanie and I had been raised together our whole lives and it seemed like she knew more about being a wolf than I did. "I swear there should be some sort of wolf 101 course that every new wolf has to take...they could learn about the do's and don'ts of shifting, how to shift, the importance of waiting for their mates, and anything else they might have questions about like mating and why we do it." I said, knowing I could sure use this class right about now.

Stephanie only smiled.

"What?" I asked.

"Cass you're going to be the Luna, this is your pack...if you want a Were-101 class then just do it, I can hardly see Dean telling you no."

"You don't think it's a silly idea?" I asked a little unsure.

"Not at all." She said wholeheartedly. "Trust me, I would've rather been in that class than have my mother yelling at me twenty-four seven...at least then I wouldn't have felt like I was the only one going through these things."

I nodded my head, "I think i'm gonna bring it up to Dean tonight."

She smiled excitedly, "your first official act as Luna."

We went about the rest of the day and when third period rolled around I took her up on her offer about running with her.

Thankfully I found that shifting into my wolf came easier now, and as we ran I found my mind at ease for once. I was so focused on watching out for low hanging branches or uprooted tree roots that I didn't have time to think about markings, babies, or running an entire pack.

I noticed Stephanie slow and I slowed with her, she shifted back, I kept my eyes glued to her own eyes as my best friend stood there stark naked.

"Let's head back already." She huffed before shifting back.

I followed her wolf back to the edge of the forest behind the school and we found our clothes. She shifted back easily and got dressed, as she did that I struggled to clear my mind long enough to shift back.

All the other times I would think of Dean and was able to shift back into my human form, but as his handsome face filled my thoughts...along with it came the worries associated with him.

"Come on Cassie just focus on Dean or something." Stephanie suggested.

I growled indicating that I was trying.

She only rolled her eyes and huffed, "well obviously you aren't trying hard enough."

I growled once again, the sight of a girl arguing with a wolf must've looked hilarious from an outsiders point of view, I sighed and squeezed my eyes shut as I thought about Dean and I together for the first time. Finally I felt the cool air touch my skin and as I opened my eyes I saw my clothes flying toward me.

"Hurry up and get dressed, it's lunch time."

That was the thing I loved about Stephanie...a lot of people call her a bitch, but I only see her as honest, she doesn't sugarcoat things and isn't afraid to tell me the truth, and I am going to need that now more than ever; now that I'm surrounded by people who will willingly smile in my face and tell me things they think I want to hear.

When we reached the lunch room we got our food and sat down at our usual table.

"So what's going on...as long as I've known you, nothing comes between you and sleep."

I sighed heavily and began to pick at my hamburger bun, "just had a lot on my mind."

"Like what?" She asked as she took a huge bite of her own burger.

I shrugged, "Luna shit."

She nodded, "I get that this is new to you and you're worried about failing and I may not be a Luna, but girl you know you can aways talk to me...it's better to get it out than keeping it bottled up inside of you until you finally explode."

She was right, "I just found out Dean and I are going to have to mark each other, soon we'll also have to think about getting married and having kids."

"Okay?" She sounded, as if to say 'and where's the problem in all of this?'

Once again I sighed, "I get why we have to mark each other and the importance of doing it for the pack as well as for our relationship...but why rush the rest?" I finally asked out loud. "I mean I wouldn't mind being Dean's wife...but kids?"

"I get it, you don't want to be Deans baby momma just yet." She joked a little.

I laughed, "is it a bad thing to want my mate to myself?" I asked, "I feel like I just found my mate and already I'm having to share him with his parents, the pack, and now maybe kids..."

She nodded a little more seriously. "Like I said, I can't really relate as I'm neither the Luna or someone's mate...but I am a girl and I know it would suck having to be told to share something that means so much to you...but I'm pretty sure there's also gonna be a time when all you'll want is little baby Deans running around."

I knew she was right.

"At the end of the day...just talk with Dean, girl he's your mate, he's gonna listen to anything that's bothering you."

I nodded but knew there was no way I'd be able to tell Dean I don't want kids right now.

Dean's the alpha of his pack, he has way more important things to worry about than listening to his immature mate whine about not wanting to have his babies.

That night after dinner I was feeling extra playful.

"Come upstairs with me my love." I smiled as I sat on Dean's lap and kissed his neck, "remember you still have to mark your mate."

He gave my thigh a light squeeze and kissed my lips once, "I'm sorry but not tonight love, I've got a lot of work that I need to finish up."

"Oh."

He gently moved me so that we were both standing now, "I guess I'll head up to bed then." I offered, not trying to let him see that I felt let down.

"I'm sorry babe, I'm just swamped." He said before making his way out of the dining room and into his new office.

'Babe?'

I went upstairs, had a long soak in a bath filled with wonderfully scented bubbles and finally got into the bed, alone. I felt when Dean entered the bed. He kissed my shoulder once and then rolled over so that his back was facing me, it was the most distant I had ever felt from my mate...I wonder if he knows I'm having reservations about having children?