Chapter 13

Zane hugging me took so long, mukhang ayaw na niya akong pakawalan. A dead person can't have a heart of a human. I mean, imposible na silang makaramdam, makapagsalita, makapag-isip na parang isang tao because when they die, lahat ng senses nila ay namatay din at nang bumalik sila sa panibagong anyo, naging limitado na lamang ang kanilang senses kaya mamarapatin kong huwag na lamang isipin na si Zane ay may feelings para sa akin.

Tuluyan na rin naman siyang humilaway sa pagkakayakap sa akin at. Pero hindi naalis ang mga tingin niya sa mga mata ko. He's trying to convey something pero hindi ko masigurado kung anong gusto niyang ipahiwatig sa akin.

He might be dead, but I'm still not a heartless human to think about his situation too.

"Zane..." pagbanggit ko ng pangalan niya.

He growled. Hindi naman siya nakakatakot. O siguro nasanay na lang din ako? Parang normal na tao lamang siya sa mga mata ko. He's just wearing his halloweeen costume. 

"Alam mo... may gusto akong sabihin sa 'yo. And even you don't understand what I'm going to say, ilalabas ko na lang din ito kaysa naman sarilihin ko lang. It wouldn't make a difference naman." 

Paghugot ko pa ng malalim na hininga saka ko iyon pinakalawan.

"I really like you Zane, since high school days, alam mo ba 'yon?"

He didn't groan this time but his hand reaches for my face. Magaspang ang kamay niya pero hindi ko siya pinandirihan. Mas lumalim pa ang mga titig ko sa kanyang walang ekspresyon na mga mata. He then tilted his head, continuing to feel my skin. He must be checking me out. Alam niya kasing mainit ang balat ko at hindi katulad niyang malamig at manhid.

"I really like you since the moment I saw you. Maraming nagkakagusto sa 'yo, marami ka ng naging girlfriend din for sure at kahit naka-move on na ako sa 'yo bakit binalik pa rin ako sa panahong baliw na baliw ako sa 'yo? I shouldn't be feeling this one because you're dead pero sa loob loob ko, you're still trying to be human. I can see it. I can feel it." Kinuha ko ang kamay niya sa pisngi ko at ang isa pa niyang kamay. "Whatever you've become, isa ka pa rin sa mga kinabaliwan ko noon kahit hindi mo ako napapansin but it seems now I'm getting all of your attention."

He groaned, his usual response. Naintindihan niya kaya ang sinabi ko?

"You're Zane Mattheus Carlingford. The football captain, every teenage girl's dream boy in high school, and when there's a rumor you had sex with a random girl, nababaliw na ang lahat ng mga kakabaihan. They want it too, I want it too pero imposibleng mangyari because you never look at me the same way you look at those pretty girls. And now I'm getting this boring, bland stares from you at minsan napapaisip pa ako kung may intensyon ka bang lapain kasi in no time, posible rin 'yong mangyari. But you still cared for me, too bad, you're dead..."

Nginitian ko siya at walang bakas ng kung ano ang mukha niya. Kahit nilinis ko na ang mukha niya, there's still dirty particles left in his face at mukhang hindi na iyon maaalis.

"But maybe it's not bad to have someone like you care for me."

Hinigit ko muli siya papalapit sa akin at niyakap ng mahigpit.

"You can still be the same Zane Carlingford for me. Even though your appearance changed, I don't really mind..."

And it could be weirdly enough but I planted a kiss on his cheek. Just to remind him that even when he's dead, he can still be human and feel the touch of my warm lips on him. He may not know what could it meant pero sa akin, ayos na nangmaipahatid ko sa kanya ang nasa puso't isip ko.

Umalis ako sa pagkakayakap sa kanya at inabot muli ang kamay niya.

"I have an idea, Zane, do you want to do it with me?" I asked, he doesn't make a response pero na-e-excite ako sa iniisip ko. "It's now or never, Zane. It could also be the best day of our lives..."

And thinking how this day will go, it could be now, tomorrow, or in the future, it will still gonna happen so I'm going to make it fun and happy while it lasts.