Chapter 13 : I'm going to miss you

I take the steps two at a time, while being careful not to juggle the bag full of food and snacks packed in disposable packaging too much. As soon as I reach the tenth floor, I fast walk towards my boyfriend's apartment.

At the door, I find his shoes still in the shoe stand. Phew! Just in time. I push open the door and walk inside, by now, having become comfortable enough with him to just barge in.

"Abhay, are you ready yet? It's almost time," I call out, taking out my phone and opening the cab booking app.

Said person, comes rushing out of his bedroom, wheeling a bag behind him. "Hello Dia! I'm almost ready, I was just about to come say bye to you," my boyfriend tells me, giving me a charming smile.

"You don't have time Abhay, you are already running late, here, I brought you some food and snacks. It's a long journey. I have packed extra for your brother's family too," I say handing him the food.

He takes the bag with a surprised expression, "you never stop being wonderful, do you?" he says, giving me a beautiful smile with a fond head shake, managing to successfully fill my heart to the brim with joy, "you didn't have to do it Dia, but thank you so much, I'm sure we'll love it," he adds.

"It's no problem at all," I give him a happy smile, taking his own smiling face in, preserving it in memory, not that it needs any effort. I'm going to miss seeing his face everyday. I know it's only going to be for a couple of days, but I've gotten so very used to spending time with him almost everyday for the past couple of months.

I snap out of my thoughts when my phone pings, notifying the arrival of the cab, "oh, here, your cab is ready," I tell him, making him even more surprised, "of course you thought of that too! You are a super woman," he says with an affectionate laugh, somehow managing to widen my smile.

"That I am," I playful agree, and lightly push him towards the door, "get moving mister," I say, walking us both out of the door. As he is locking the door, my heart starts feeling a little heavy. I'm really going to miss him, especially on the day of the festival.

So, when he turns around after locking his door, I throw my arms around him, catching him off guard. He stumbles back a fraction in surprise before hugging me back tighter.

"I'm going to miss you," I mumble, as I lift my face towards his, and the affectionate and slightly longing expression clearly displayed in his features tells me that he feels the same. Not wanting to hold back another second, I lift myself on my toes and kiss him. He wastes no time in kissing me back.

Our lips move in sync with each other, already familiar with the tune of the other. My hand behind his neck pulling him closer, his fingers in my hair managing to send tiny jolts throughout my body. Our holds on each other tight, passion in the kiss high, wanting to take it all in, take each other all in.

We pull back after a few seconds too soon, smiling and giddy, just like every other time we've kissed. "Happy Diwali in advance Abhay, have fun with your family," I tell him stepping away from his hug, and taking his hand. We walk hand in hand towards the elevator.

As we wait for the elevator to reach the top floor, I say to him, " text me as soon as you reach, and call me whenever you can, okay? At the same time, I understand if you can't, I don't want you getting caught or getting in trouble."

"Don't be ridiculous Dia, of course I'll call you, and I won't get caught, I promise," he says, giving me a bright smile, making me chuckle.

The elevator doors open with a ping on our floor and Abhay gets in. I stay on the other side.

Just as the door starts to close, I rush out and say, "I love you," and I get an instant reply back, "I love you too," from my sweet boyfriend, just as the doors shut between us, leaving us happy as well as missing each other already.

I slowly walk down the stairs to my own apartment, the previous enthusiasm and rush absent in my movements.

Once behind my own closed door, I go straight to my work station and sit in front of the sewing machine, ready to resume working on my sister's maternity gowns.

You see, when my sister caught me and Abhay a fortnight back at the Ravan Dahan, she didn't immediately react, to my relief. There were awkward formal introductions. I introduced Abhay as a friend, though both my sister and brother in law clearly seemed to have gotten the real picture.

They both thankfully left immediately, not wanting my sister to be on her feet for too long. The next day though, was a different story altogether. The composed and polite woman she portrayed the day before in front of Abhay was nowhere to be seen. Instead, she became a hormonal, pregnant police officer interrogating me like a criminal.

I cracked under her drilling and decided to just tell her. I decided to tell her the whole story, cause why not? She already was sure about us anyway.

It took me three hours of story telling and providing her with lots of food to satisfy her. She listened eagerly, 'ooh'ing and 'aww'ing at different parts. She especially liked the disaster date I planned, cause in her words, I quote " It was pretty cute and also because you made a fool of yourself ". She couldn't stop laughing about it for a while, her emotions heightened because of her pregnancy.

To be honest, it kind of felt nice to spend some time with my sister, just gossiping and sharing and teasing. It has been a while since we have done any of it, though I'll never admit it to her, or she'll never let me live it down.

After telling her everything, the real task began. I had to beg and pursue and coax and blackmail and every other possible technique to prevent her from telling my parents. She didn't have any ill intentions, she just thought that my parents would actually support me, and it'd all be happy and dandy. Her exact words were, "I don't get it Dia, I don't think mom and dad really care about cultures or castes or any other such things. I think they'll really like Abhay, and I think they'll even approve. Why don't you just tell them? Then you too can get married". She said it all with an excited and dreamy look, and even started planning our wedding in her head.

I immediately put a stop to her day dreaming, because like I told Abhay the other day, I like the place we are in right now. Just me and him. I don't want to stress myself thinking about any other things.

She reluctantly relented, and I ultimately had to bribe her with two maternity gowns for her to keep her mouth shut. Older sisters can be real pain in the ass sometimes.

My thoughts get interrupted along with movement of my hands and legs, halting the machine mid sew on the baby blue fabric, when I hear the ping of my phone notifying the arrival of a text.

I lift the phone off my drawing table to see if the text is from Abhay updating me on his whereabouts. When is see that it's a message from Gautam in our group chat, I set my phone aside. I'll check it later, he probably just shared some stupid joke. He's been doing that a lot lately.

My hands and legs get back to working on my sister's dress, while my mind wanders of to far off places.

This is the first time we'll be apart since we began dating. We are not clingy or anything, we've just been enjoying each other's presence, while living our own lives, cause why not? Spending time with people we love should always be a priority.

At the same time, maybe it might even be a good thing. I haven't done something new in a while. Maybe I can learn something new, maybe an instrument, or a language, or create a new recipe, or I can start learning free style dance too, or I can go someplace new. Oh wow! So many possibilities. It's fixed then! I'm doing something new before Abhay gets back.

A smile forms on my face as my mind starts wandering around, thinking of anything it could. It has been a while since I've thought like this, and I'm just realising it now. This has been my thought process my entire life, but these past few months, majority of my thoughts seems to have been circling around my sweet boyfriend. As much as I love him, I don't want to loose myself either. I need to find a balance, cause as they say, you can only love someone else, when you know how to love yourself first.

Maybe I could take Abhay on my next adventure. I did tell him that we'll find him a hobby. He has already taken up a liking to gardening, maybe we could explore new things and experiences together.

Ping.

Ping.

Ping.

I am once again jolted out of my exciting musings when my phone starts pinging continuously. I pick up my phone to see what the fuss is all about.

There are 40 plus messages on our friends' group chat. I skim through the messages. Gautam has shared some link about some artists' festival, and apparently it's a big deal, cause all my friends seem pretty excited about it. I click on the link to find out what has all my friends going crazy.

The link takes me to the official website of a beautiful looking resort located in Himachal Pradesh, and smack dab in the middle of the home page is a huge colorful advertisement for some kind of artists' gathering. I click on it to read further, suddenly very intrigued.

My smile grows wider and wider the more I read about it, and just when I feel like I will burst with excitement any second, I deflate like a balloon at seeing the large five digit 'all inclusive entry fees' at the end of the page. Sigh.

Apparently it's an annual week long festival, where all kinds of artistic people gather and exchange expertise. There will be chefs, bakers, artists, musicians, theatre artists, actors, designers, dancers, singers, writers and every other kind of artistic people imaginable. It is open to all people though. It is open to those who make a living out of some art form, and who do it as a hobby, as well as who are merely interested. There will be all kinds of workshops and contests and booths and showcases. The list of celebrity guests attending alone is spectacular.

The even more exciting part about this year is it's winter themed. 'The Rhodies Magic' resort usually hosts the festival every summer, but they decided to spice it up a bit this year and are thus holding it in the winter month of december.

Reading all this, I naturally got excited, but apparently it was all for nothing. I only have enough money left for essentials after paying off my loans to my father. I might have a little bit saved away for rainy days, but it's nowhere near enough.

I click back till I reach our group chat, where it all began and I skim through the 30 new messages that have appeared while I was checking out the festival details. Guess Gautam, Trisha, Rajiv, Deepak and Shradda are going. So basically everyone but me is going. That's another downside, I'll be missing out on precious friends' trip.

I exit the group chat and set my phone aside, my mood having soured a bit and get back to stitching up my sister's dress.

Seeing the baby blue fabric, my mind suddenly jumps to my yet to be sold dawn sky dress, and a fleeting hope arises within me. If I could somehow sell it for 30 to 40 thousand rupees, I'll be able to go.

I quickly pick up my phone again and check my Instagram with anticipation. Nope, no new offers. It's not that people didn't like it, in fact everyone loved it. It just, I've spent a lot of time, care and money on it and I honestly think that it's worth more than people have been offering.

Guess, I'll just have to sit this one out then.

~~~×~~~

The next two days, I stay in a weird state of mind. One minute I'm missing Abhay, the next I'm excited about the new ballet class I signed up for, and then I'm sulking about not being able to go to the artists' festival, and then I'm experimenting new recipes.

Abhay has called twice in the last two days. Apparently his brother's family really liked my food, and Abhay had to tell them that I made them. Though he only mentioned me as a good friend and neighbour, I'm sure they're already suspicious. Suspicious is okay though as long as it doesn't turn into conviction, besides Aarti and Alekya already good friends with me.

Diwali is in two days, and I'm currently in my kitchen making a mithai made of kaju and pista to take to my parents on the day of the festival. I'm stirring the slowly thickening kaju & sugar syrup paste, when my phone starts playing the song "Mere liye tum kaafi ho", the ringtone I've set for Abhay.

I pick up the phone with my left hand, my right still stirring. "Hello bf, how are you?" I ask, my mood lifted once again.

"Hello to you too Dia, I'm fine. How are you? Still sulking about the festival?" he asks playfully.

When I ranted to him about the festival and me not being able to attend two days back, he was both surprised and amused. He said that it was strange seeing me whining about something, that I'm always like the happy go lucky kind, and if something doesn't go as planned, I make it happen somehow, and that the only other time he has seen me this upset was on our second date, and apparently it still amused him, and he found it 'cute'. These words from him were enough to bring out a smile back on my face.

He always knows exactly what to say. He might not have had some grand plan which could make me attend, or some sage advice about everything happening for a reason or something, but he always lends an understanding ear and says the sweetest words to lift my mood, and that is more than I could ask for.

"I'm okay, for now, I've been in and out of sulking," I tell him, my tone light, conveying to him that I'm not seriously still upset.

"Good to know, so what have you been upto since we last spoke?" he asks, his voice muffled by slight wind. He's probably on the terrace again. It has been his secret phone call spot for the last two days, he tells me.

"Me? Let's see, I signed up for ballet lessons, I'm not sure I'll be able to do it, but it doesn't hurt to try, then I experimented a new appetizer recipe with panner and broccoli, I'm almost done with my dress for the festival, and right about now I'm making kaju pista rolls for the festival," I tell him all I've done in the last twenty four hours.

"Wow, ballet? Are you sure you'll be able to manage both bharatnatyam and ballet? Won't you get tired? And both the appetizer and dessert sound absolutely delicious, save me some mithai too," he replies.

"No, I won't get tired, I'm super woman, remember? And sure, I'll save you some," I answer him.

We spend some time talking to each other, while I keep making the mithai. He tells me stories of his childhood Diwalis, being back there must be making him nostalgic. I share my own childhood stories. We just talk and laugh and have a good time.

We've been talking for a good thirty minutes when Abhay suddenly asks, "So Dia, will you be able to go to this festival by any chance?"

I think it over, the last date to register is tomorrow and there is no way I'll be able to get that much money by then, and I don't want to take any more loans from anyone. So nope, there's no way I'll be able to go, so I tell him, "Nope, I don't think so, why?"

There is a pause for a few seconds, as if he is contemplating whether to tell me something or not, then he finally speaks in a hesitate tone, "my parents have booked tickets to come visit us in Mumbai during that time, they want to see my place and spend a few weeks with their only children," there is another pause and I think and I already know where this is going, "would you like to meet them Dia? We'll not tell them about us, just meet them as my friend and neighbour, whose mithais they couldn't get enough of," he says, and my body tenses up involuntarily.

Meet his parents? And wait, did he just mean he told them about me, and that they ate my mithais and they like it?

"Wow, you told them about me? And they liked my sweets? I didn't think there was enough," I say, unable to think of a proper answer to give.

"Of course they liked your sweets, who wouldn't? And you packed enough for ten people! It was more than enough," he tells me, "and yes I told them what I told my brother and his family, I had to tell them where the food came from," he explains.

I stay silent for a few beats. This is the second time he's suggesting we take our relationship forward. Meeting respective families is a huge step. It's not that I'm not sure about Abhay, it's the complications and challenges and the changes that mixing our families will bring, I'm scared about. Why can't we be happy just like this for a little while more? But I also get that he's nearing thirty, and there might be a little pressure. I don't want to turn him down again.

It's the least I could do for him, after he's been so understanding this whole time. I know for a fact that he is more the family type than the dating kind. So, I push aside my fear and uncertainties and say, "Okay Abhay, I'd like to meet them, maybe I'll host lunch one day."

"Oh wow! Thanks Dia," he says, his voice elated. Guess it's worth it then. "It means a lot," he adds, his voice sincere. It makes me happy just hearing him so happy.

"Of course, Abhay," I say, just as sincerely, and then add, "I love you," wanting him to know just how much he means to me.

" I love you too, Dia," he says back, his voice quiet but full of affection, making my own heart explode with joy. I let out a sigh of contentment. How can one person make me so happy? I want this feeling to last forever, I want us to last forever.

We hang up after a few minutes, and I stand in my kitchen, staring at the kaju pista rolls cooling on the kitchen counter, unseeing. I love Abhay Sharma. I'm going to meet his parents.

Oh God! What if they don't like me? What if they think I'm not good enough for their son? What if I mess something up? What is they do like me?

There are so many uncertainties. Fortunately, I'll have the most wonderful boyfriend in the world by my side. That, I'm certain of.