Song: Tu Jahaan - Salaam Namaste by Sonu Nigam & Mahalakshmi Iyer

===

Getting to his flat, Nikita went straight to his kitchen. He went to his room and pulled out a book he had started to write in whenever he felt that he had something to tell Riddhima. This was his solution. He wasn't going to move on, but like she wanted, he was going to live. He could live in his present and still keep his promises to her. He had decided that one day when they'd meet again and the timing was in their favor, he would give the book to her. She just wouldn't know it, but all along, she was still one of the first people he shared everything major in his life with.

He bitter-sweetly recalled the night he had made this particular promise to her.

===

Around midnight, I sit up in bed hearing a sound outside in my balcony. I dismiss it, but then I hear a knock on the door, like someone threw something. I reach over and turn on the lamp. I don't see anything, but I still walk over to the balcony and open it.

Before I can stick my head out, someone pushes in, covering my mouth so I won't scream. I still struggle and try to push the intruder back.

"Relax, basket. It's me." I open my eyes and under the small light from the lamp, I realize it is him. For a brief moment, I feel relief. Then, I angrily push his hand away.

"What the hell, Armaan? Why would you climb up? You could have hurt yourself."

He doesn't answer my question and just reaches forward to touch my forehead with the back of his hand. I try to swat it away, but he doesn't let me. A few seconds later, he moves it on his own accord and comments, "Huh, no fever."

"Ofcourse I don't have a..." I trail off when he raises his brows at me and I realize that's the lie my mom must have told them when they came by earlier.

He crosses his arms across his chest. "I can see that. So, why'd you ditch?"

"I don't need to tell you that," I answer, mimicking his actions and standing my ground. "Leave now."

Instead of listening, like he never does anyway, he comes further in my room and drops on the bed, keeping himself up on an elbow. "Not till you tell me why you ditched."

"Whatever," I answer and get back in bed and purposely pull the blanket from under him, signaling that he needed to get off my bed. "I'm sure you know my parents check up on me before going to bed. Make sure to leave before that happens."

From underneath the blanket, I kick him a bit to make room for myself, moving him to sit at the edge.

I turn off the light and bring my knees up, snuggling into the blanket. I close my eyes and wait, but for the longest, I don't feel him move and get up from my bed to leave. The muscles in my body eventually start to relax as I focus on my breathing. Just when I think he will leave when he gets up, I feel his hand moving the blanket down to bit to reveal my face.

"Hey... were you, um, having cramps?"

I open my eyes at the question, feeling awkward, "God, will you go away if I said yes?"

He looks at me for a second and then makes his decision. "I'm not God, but no." He informs and jumps over me to get to the other side of the bed. The mattress bounces as he does.

If I wasn't already feeling gloomy, I would have hit him for his cocky remark. Instead, I tried to stick to my words, "Armaan, get the hell off my bed and leave!"

"Do you realize you have been using foul language a lot lately? That's usually my department, not yours."

I mutter incoherently under my breath as I turn my back to him and closed my eyes again. I am hoping not answering to his useless comments will get him to leave. Ofcourse, I know the only thing that will get him to leave is if I fell asleep, but that seems unlikely right now. I can't sleep when he is around. I'm all the more conscious, given the flash of him leaning close to Priya comes back to haunt me again. Before, I had seen him with other girls, but atleast I had been saved from actually witnessing it. I would just hear about it, or see him hanging around them with minor things like having his arm around their shoulder, holding hands, flirting, etc.

"Hey, you still up?" He questions. I remain silent. "Are you pretending to be asleep?" No answer. "I can't tell with the room being dark." Again, I don't answer. But his constant voice is starting to drive me crazy. The bed dips, and I can't tell if he is getting up to leave or what. "You know, we need to add more glow stars to your room." He comments again and this time I lose it.

"I swear, Armaan, if you don't..." I trail off as I turn to face his direction and realize he is right there. The movement wasn't him getting up but moving closer. My breath hitches, seeing his face that close to mines. "What are you doing?" I question, as all the hostility from the previous statement disappears. His hand comes to my face, almost poking me in the eye. I slap it away, "Armaan!"

I am sure the idiot must be silently laughing right now.

"Like I said, you need more light in here. It's hard to see your face in the dark."

I give a suggestion, "Or, you could just leave," moving my head in the other direction again. It's probably a good thing its dark and I can't look into his eyes. If I did, from such a close distance, I would certainly have a melt down again.

Why is he even here?

"Why are you so eager on getting me to leave?"

"Why aren't you so eager to leave?" I throw the question back.

"Eh. Where else would I be?"

I scoff, "I'm sure you have better things to do."

"Like?"

"Like Priya."

'What does she have to do with this conversation?"

"Just saying, isn't she your girlfriend? Shouldn't you be climbing her balcony past midnight instead? More than here, I'm sure you'll get some action there."

I didn't mean to say the ending out loud but going with the anger, I didn't remember to stop and just think it instead of saying it as well.

The next moment, I feel his hand on my arm as he tugs me to lay on my back. "What'd you just say?" He asks, dangerously.

I try to leave any emotions out of my tone, "You heard me."

"Riddhima, I don't know what's going on with you, but why would you say that? She's not my girlfriend, and she's certainly not more important to me than you are. Why would you even question why I am here? Where else would I be? I spent the whole lunch hour trying to look for you when Khushi told me you didn't come back. And then your mom tells us you have a fever and sick so you came home early and slept but that's a lie and now... you know what? Forget it. I don't even know why I am telling you this."

I question, finding it hard to believe it. "You were looking for me?"

"I did just say that, didn't I?" He throws back, and I have no answer to that. It's not that I felt insecure about him giving more importance to Priya since she's his girlfriend. Wait, he just said she wasn't. Was he lying? He was kissing her. But anyway, back to my thoughts, I was upset not because I was insecure but because it hurt to know he would never see me in that light.

After a silence of couple minutes, having calmed down from his rant, he says, "You know, lately, you seem to be lost somewhere in your own world saying things that don't make sense and I'm starting to feel like I don't even know you anymore." His voice sounds strained as if he really wants me to open up to him. "Why won't you talk to me?"

"Because I don't even know myself anymore," I confess. Lately, my thoughts and feelings have been so contradictory, none of it makes any sense to me. Then, I dare to ask a question that struck me the second he said it. "So, Priya isn't your girlfriend?"

"Please, no." He answers with a scoff as if the idea cannot be more ridiculous to him.

"Why not? You obviously like her." I say meekly, putting a stone over my heart having to even say it out loud.

"I don't know... sure, she's attractive, but like Khushi said, she doesn't have a personality. She can get pretty annoying with always wanting to know where I am, what I am doing."

I find myself smiling, knowing how much he hates it when people try to keep tabs on him. "And we all know how big you are on not sharing personal information."

He chuckles as well, "Exactly. Besides, it's not serious or anything and she knows that. That's why it works you know?"

"How can you do that?" I ask, genuinely curious. "Be in a relationship where you don't have feelings for each other. Where everything is just physical? I mean, emotions naturally follow, right?"

"Maybe, but that's why I don't date anyone more than a month or so."

I joke, "And that is how Armaan has dated more than half the girls his age in Shimla."

"Hey," He takes offense, "I don't keep changing girls one after another. Come on, even I need a time out."

I laugh silently at that. I knew the fact, ofcourse. He wasn't constantly dating someone.

He adds, "And hey, the day I get a girlfriend or even think about asking someone to be my girlfriend, you'd be the first to know."

"Oh really?" I question, surprised he would.

"Ofcourse." He answers within a heartbeat as if it weren't even up for debate or discussion, "There's no way the girl will be that big a part of my life if you and Khushi don't approve of her."

"Yeah, right." I try to make it casual and not read into his words. "Don't you think your girlfriend will object how close you are to us?" After all, Armaan may be a raging extrovert and a charmer, but his world was pretty small, including handful of people.

"If she can't understand and accept our bond, then maybe she is isn't even worth it. After all, you two will always be an important part of my life."

"Even if I decide to go to another university?"

He is silent for a few seconds, but he does answer with a sigh. "Even then. What makes you think I won't call daily and annoy the life out of you? Like seriously, do you think either of us can survive without fighting with each other every now and then?"

Sadly, I point out, "It's just talk, Armaan."

He seems to be pretty convinced, however, "No, basket. Words or not, I mean it. You aren't just Khushi's friend. Khushi has had other friends too. You don't see me still talking to them, do you?"

"Yeah," I answer, having no other words for him.

He lightens, "So hey, yeah. You can try to run to whatever corner of the world you want. You'll still be the first to know when I think of asking someone to be my girlfriend, and gush to you like you girls do when I have my first kiss, and when..."

"Wait, what?" I stop him, shocked and confused.

"What?"

"You've had your first kiss. Don't lie."

"No, I haven't." He denies. "Why would I lie about that, to you especially?"

"Armaan, we both know you've had your share of dates."

"So?" He questions my assumption. "I don't have to kiss them on the lips, you know? Even you go about kissing people on the cheek. Am I going to say you've had your first kiss because of that?"

When the topic has turned to me, it reminds me of Vivek. Reluctantly, I remind him, "But I have. Vivek."

"No." He speaks right away and his voice softens, "Your first kiss is when you want someone to kiss you too. What he did was assault. First kiss or any for that matter shouldn't be forced."

I know his words are meant to be a comfort, but the fact that he had reached for my hands to somehow convey he truly meant and believed what he was saying was making this an awkward conversation for me. I am talking about first kisses, future girlfriends, and whatnots, with a guy who has my heart and doesn't even know it. This should be a forbidden topic or something.

He takes his hand back, "Hey, we've been having a good talk for the last half hour. Don't shut off on me now."

"Maybe, I'm getting sleepy." I point out, realizing it has been about that long and he should leave. How have my parents not come to check on me? Are they still awake? It's rare that they stay up past 1 in the morning when dad has to go to the hospital early in the morning.

"Alright, pass me the remote."

I understand he is talking about the AC remote, and deny instantly. "No, Armaan. Go home." There is no way he is staying the night.

"You're going to make me walk home at 1 in the night? Don't be so heartless, basket."

"You should have thought about that before coming. I'm not going to risk my parents finding you here."

He chuckles, "What kind of a guy do you take me for, basket? I don't just climb up balconies of girls just like that. Your mom knows I am here."

My eyes widen, "What?!"

"Yeah."

How can he be so casual about it?

I mutter under my breath, "I told her I didn't want to see anyone."

He counters as if to defend my mother. "Aren't you feeling a lot better though?" I know my mother dotes on him, but still. I am her child! She is by default supposed to favor my side, not his. "Now pass me that remote."

"I will do no such thing. Mom knows but dad doesn't."

He tries to play it cool, "I'm not afraid of your dad."

I roll my eyes, well aware of his lie. "You're afraid of my dad."

He is quick to give in, for he knows he can't trick me into believing otherwise, "Yeah, I'm afraid of your dad. So what?" When I make no attempt at moving to pass him the remote, he lets out a sigh and leans closer to me.

"Don't even think of it Armaan," I warn him, but he's already trying to move his hand around trying to find the remote on the side table while leaning over me.

"Too late. Ugh, where is it?" He mutters the later, frustrated at not finding it easily.

"Just give up." I was glad I had the remote under my pillow, not on the side table like I usually kept it.

"Never." He answers and manages to pull it out from under my pillow. I was left gaping.

"How...?" I can't even bring myself to finish the question as I feel his lips at my temple. It must have been the softest peck ever, but it still manages to surprise me.

"Good night, basket."

"Good night, Armaan," I whisper back.

When he settles back at the other end of the end, he points out, "You still haven't told me why you ditched school and were crying."

I deny, "Um, I wasn't crying."

"Tell that to someone who didn't see your red eyes earlier."

I understand he must have caught that when the lamp was on and I had gotten up to check the balcony. Despite him knowing, I realize the fact that he didn't push me to an answer. He merely pointed it out, that he was aware, but was giving me my space. That, I could appreciate.

"Armaan?"

"Yeah?" He answers, but I can tell through his voice that he is getting ready to go to sleep.

Maybe it's because I am getting tired that I stop overthinking and places my hand on top of his that lays between us. "Thank you." I mean the two words right now more than anything. He was definitely right earlier. Having this talk, even though he knows nothing and I shared nothing about my feelings, just learning of his makes me feel a whole lot better.

No, it in no way raises my hopes or any such thing. If anything, it only reestablishes what I mean to him – and I think, for now, I am okay with that. Sometimes, you need someone in your life who is simply there for you, guides you, encourages you on a daily basis and uplifts your soul – tough times or not. You do not have to be in a relationship. You can simply be friends.

I am about to move my hand when he turns his palm so it's the other way around and he is holding my hand. He squeezes it and then speaks in a soft whisper and an honest tone void of any jokes, "Come on, Riddhima. You don't need to thank me. Who else will I have these late night conversations with without feeling like I have to hold my thoughts back? If I had told anyone else I haven't had my first kiss yet, imagine how badly they'd judge me."

I admit. "Yeah, I was surprised. Still am, kinda."

"Hmm." He answers in a hum, his voice barely audible. "Sweet dreams, basket." It's a surprise that he doesn't take offense at the judgment on my end.

Feeling a burden leave my chest, I closed my eyes without worrying about anything. Once again, like it has in the past few months, every time someone has been next to me or talking to me, I feel as if I can go to sleep in peace.

===

Armaan stopped writing when Nikita entered the room. "Pasta's ready! Watcha doing?" She asked, noticing him trying to hide the book at her sudden appearance without knocking on the door.

"Nothing. Let's go eat. I'm starving."

She stood at the doorway, blocking his path by crossing her arms over her chest. "Mr. Supercool, there's no need to hide a diary. Keeping a diary doesn't make you uncool."

He denied, "It's not a diary." Technically, it wasn't.

Nikita cheekily pointed out, knowing she didn't have to wait for his response. She already knew it was the last of the options. Still, she let it be known to check his reaction. "There are only three things a guy would hide. His stash of porn. A diary. And a love letter."

===

authors note:

Thank you for the 100 votes & 600+ reads! 

I particularly LOVE this chapter! Armaan being all real with Riddhima. I hope you too enjoyed this long glimpse in the past. Next chapter is going to be a turner, both in present and past time line. Hope you're as excited!

And this song... <3 It's so sad but romantic, if you ask me. 

Chapter 11. Girls with Personalities on Saturday. Do vote & comment! <3