Ngayong araw nakatakda ang cremation ni Bella. And I didn't know if I was just misreading the situation, pero hindi ko naiwasang mapansin ang mala-robot na pagkilos ni Vren. It was as if he was on autopilot, only doing the bare minimum to function today. To me, it doesn't take a genius to figure out why. Pakiwari ko ay dinaramdam pa rin niya ang tuluyang pagkawala ng ex-girlfriend niya.

Kung hindi lang isang deceased person ang karibal ko ngayon sa atensyon ng aking jowa, malamang ay ikinamatay ko na rin ang matinding pagseselos.

"Psst, Vren. Okay ka lang ba?" tanong ko nang hindi ko na matiis na panoorin ang mala-WALL-E kong boyfriend.

My question seemed to have jarred him. "Y-yeah, of course I'm okay. Why'd you ask?"

Umarko ang kilay ko. "Parang hindi naman ako naniniwala sa'yo. You and I both know what day it is. Baka bigla ka na lang pumalahaw ng iyak dito, ha?"

Bahagya namang napangiti si Vren dahil sa sinabi ko. "Seriously, I'm fine. I'm not going to have a meltdown."

I sighed. Wala rin namang magagawa kung i-push ko pa ang issue. "Bakit kaya ginusto ni Bella na magpa-cremate, 'no?"

Nagkibit-balikat ang boyfriend ko. "I have no idea. Bella had this weird streak... You're a lot like her, actually."

I was taken aback by his statement. "Kaya ba nagustuhan mo ako? Dahil naaalala mo si Bella sa akin?"

"Of course not," kaagad niya namang sagot. "You know what? Just forget I said that. It was a ridiculous remark, anyway."

Umiwas ako ng tingin para hindi niya makita ang paglamlam ng aking mga mata.

Never doubt Andrei's love for you, naalala kong sabi ni Bella sa sulat niya para sa akin. Pero paano ko iyon magagawa kung halata namang hanggang ngayon ay may nararamdaman pa rin si Vren para sa kanya?

I never felt more distant from Vren than I did at this moment — and we had literally been thousands of miles away from each other when he spent more than a year in Canada. At least, during that time, buo ang conviction ko na babalikan niya ako.

Vren had never really been away from me before... until now.

****

"Hoy, babae. Bakit ganyan na naman ang mukha mo? Para kang tinakbuhan ng umutang sa'yo ng fifty million!"

Wala sa loob na tiningnan ko si Alexia, na noon ay halatang bothered sa biglaang pag-askad ng aking timpla. Kaming dalawa lang ngayon ang nakatambay sa Serendipity. Both Hannah and Mavi had to pass because they needed to catch up with work.

"May naalala lang ako. Saka anong fifty million ang sinasabi mo riyan? Wala nga akong one million, fifty million pa kaya?"

"'Wag mong ibahin ang usapan. Tungkol na naman ba sa jowa mo at sa ex niya ang iniisip mo?"

I nodded. My friend knew me too well, at wala rin namang maa-achieve kapag nag-deny pa ako.

"Tegi na 'yong tao, sis. She's nothing but ashes. Ano pa ba ang ini-emote mo riyan?" Umismid si Alexia. "Unless, nasiraan na ng bait si Papa Vren at nag-decide siyang ma-in love sa abo?"

"Gaga ka talaga." I had to laugh despite my sour mood. Kaya mahal ko si Alessandro Pinpin, e. Alam ng bruha kung paano ako patatawanin kapag miserable ako.

"Na-gaga pa nga ako." Tumawa rin si Baklita. "Pero may point naman ako, 'di ba?"

"Hindi mo kasi ako naiintindihan, friend." Muling sumeryoso ang aking ekspresyon. "Hindi kasi mawala ang hinala ko na hanggang ngayon ay mahal pa rin ni Vren si Bella. Alam mo bang kahapon, sinabi ng jowa ko na marami raw kaming pagkakapareho ng ex niya? Ibig sabihin ba no'n ay nagustuhan niya lang ako dahil nakikita niya si Bella sa akin?"

"Gano'n?" Napaisip si Alexia. "Pero alam mo sis, sa totoo lang... Kung titingnan kayong mabuti ni Isabella, may pagkakahawig nga kayo."

"Isa ka pa!" I hit him on the arm. "Nananadya ka ba, ha?"

"Seryoso nga, Mirathea." Ni hindi man lang nag-react si Alexia sa ginawa kong paghampas sa kanya, and that's how I knew he was indeed serious. "'Yong mga mata niyo kasi... Pareho kayo ng mga mata ni Isabella."

"Salamat sa pagre-reinforce ng idea na kaya lang ako nagustuhan ni Vren ay dahil naaalala niya sa akin si Bella," I muttered in a bitter tone.

"Hindi naman sa gano'n!" my friend amended. "Sinasabi ko lang ang observation ko."

"Mira?" Because Alexia and I were too busy talking, hindi na namin napansin ang paglapit sa amin ni Vren, not until he called my name.

"Uy. Anong ginagawa mo rito?" I asked my boyfriend without much enthusiasm. Ni wala akong pakialam kung narinig niya man o hindi na siya at ang ex niya ang topic ng usapan naming magkaibigan.

"Can I speak to you? Alone?" he asked, before glancing meaningfully at Alexia.

Tumikhim naman si Baklita na kaagad na-gets ang ipinahihiwatig ng aming boss. "And that's my cue. Rarampa na pabalik sa office ang aking beauty," sabi niya sabay tindig mula sa kanyang pagkakaupo. "See you later, lovebirds. Utang na loob lang, 'wag kayong mag-away ha? Pati kaming mga kaibigan ni Mira, naii-stress kapag may LQ kayo."

I watched as Alexia exited Serendipity, thinking that I would rather march back to the office with him than be here with my boyfriend. Nagtatampo pa rin kasi ako kay Vren Andrei.

Nang kami na lang dalawa ay muli kong binalingan si Vren. "Ano ang pag-uusapan natin?"

He exhaled heavily before answering. "I've been thinking about Bella and Chase. I want to know what happened between the two of them. And I'm curious if there really is something important about Bella that I should know. Chase was taunting me about it, remember?"

Tumango ako. "Napapaisip din ako tungkol diyan," I confessed. "Sa tingin mo ba, naging sila?"

"I don't see any other possibility," Vren replied in agreement. "In fact, I think Chase is the reason why Bella left me."

"'Yan din ang sabi ni Ate Vira."

"What does my sister have to do with this?" he asked, surprise evident in his voice.

In response, I told him what Ate Vira revealed to me when we attended his ex-girlfriend's wake — how Bella stayed in Australia where she met Chase, who also migrated to the Land Down Under with his family, and how Bella kept all of this a secret, telling no one except her best friend and her ex-boyfriend's sister.

"How could Vira keep something like this from me?" hindi-makapaniwalang komento ni Vren matapos kong sabihin sa kanya ang lahat ng nalaman ko mula sa kanyang ate.

"Nangako siya kay Bella na wala siyang ibang pagsasabihan ng whereabouts nito. A secret is a secret, Vren. Isa pa, wala ka na namang magagawa tungkol sa nalaman mo. All of these happened ages ago." Hindi ko na napigilang ilabas ang inis na kahapon ko pa nararamdaman. "Kaya ka ba nagkakaganyan ay dahil nanghihinayang ka pa rin na hindi kayo nagkatuluyan ni Bella? Para mo na ring sinabi na nagsisisi kang nakilala mo ako."

Vren reached for my hand from across the table. Babawiin ko pa sana ito mula sa pagkakahawak niya, pero hinigpitan niya pa ang kapit niya.

"Mira, I thought we're already past this issue. I would never, ever regret meeting you and falling in love with you," he said, voice uncharacteristically gentle. "And I don't care if I have to say this a million times, but I assure you that I am truly over Bella."

Umirap ako. "Kaya pala naaalala mo siya sa akin," sarkastiko kong sabi. "She and I are a lot like each other, aren't we? How convenient of you, getting another girlfriend who's a replica of your ex!"

"Come on, babe. You know that's not what I meant. Yes, you do share a lot of qualities with Bella, and I told you that as a compliment. You're both tough, smart, beautiful... and yes, weird at times." A smile played on his lips, but he hid it right away. "But if you took that negatively — if to you, it sounded like the only reason why I love you is because I see you as a substitute for my ex-girlfriend — then I'm really sorry. It came out differently than I intended to, and I honestly regret that I made you feel that way."

I still didn't say anything.

"Mira, every time I look at you, I see the woman who almost kicked my ass the day we first met. I see the woman who alone can make me shut up with just a deadly stare. I see the woman who told me she wants a ring before a baby, and it would take more than my manly charms for me to change her mind." Vren smiled for real this time, at kahit matinding pagpipigil ang ginawa ko ay napangiti na rin ako. "When I look at you, I don't see another person, let alone some ex-girlfriend of mine. I only see you."

"Totoo?" huling hirit ko pa ng pag-iinarte.

"I swear on my handsome face," he said with a grin. "Are we good now?"

"Fine. Alam mo, bwisit ka talaga. Lagi mo na lang akong nadadala sa mga pambobola mo," natatawang sabi ko.

"That's because I only tell the truth," he said before giving my hand a squeeze. And as always, I chose to believe him.

"So, this thing about Bella and Chase... I'm just as curious as you are. Gusto mo bang kausapin ko si Chase Nixon para malinawan tayo tungkol sa sinabi niya sa'yo?"

"Thank you," Vren replied before letting out a sigh of relief. "This is exactly why I wanted to talk to you. I hate not knowing things, Mira. Especially if it's something that stupid friend of yours can use to taunt me."

Seeing my boyfriend bothered like this made me feel resentful towards Chase. Tama si Vren — ginagamit ni Chase ang kung ano mang Bella-related secret na alam nito para inisin siya. It's just plain wrong to use someone's innocence against him. Isa pa, dahil sa mga sinabi ni Chase kay Vren ay hindi na naman maalis sa isip ng jowa ko ang ex niya. Therefore, kasalanan ni Chase Nixon kung bakit kamuntikan na naman kaming magka-LQ ni Vren Andrei.

"Don't worry, ako na ang bahala sa mokong na 'yon," paninigurado ko kay Vren. "Kung kailangan ko siyang tutukan ng kutsilyo para lang mapaamin ko siya ay gagawin ko. Siraulo rin ang isang 'yon, e! May pang-aasar pang nalalaman. Ayaw na lang diretsuhin kung ano ang gusto niyang sabihin."

"Now you know why I don't like the guy." Vren smirked.

"Mabait naman si Chase. Ang kaso lang —"

"Geez, Mira. Quit defending your ex-suitor and just admit that he's a jerk."

Vren sounded so disgusted that I had to laugh.

"Allergic ka talaga kay Chase, 'no? Palibhasa, kaparehas mong gwapo kaya nate-threaten ka."

"Excuse me? Say that again and I'm out of here."

"Totoo naman, 'di ba? Gwapo rin si Chase kaya —"

Quick as a wink, Vren rose from his seat and approached me. He pulled me by the arm so that I was forced to stand up as well, and the next thing I knew, he was already kissing me. His right hand rested against the small of my back, while the other caressed my face.

"I told you to shut up, Ms. Custodio," he said after breaking away from me. "You are not allowed to find any other guy handsome apart from me. Understand?"

Dahil shocked pa rin ako sa biglaang paghalik sa akin ni Vren — lalo't sa isang pampublikong lugar lang naman — wala na akong ibang nagawa kundi tumango.

"Good girl." He grinned. "Come on, we're going somewhere."

"Saan na naman tayo pupunta?" I asked, still breathless from the kiss. "May tatapusin pa akong trabaho."

"Don't worry, Ms. AD Head. You're with the boss," he reminded me with a chuckle. "I miss Tita Monica's cooking. Let's pay your parents a surprise visit, shall we?"