Hindi ko alam kung ano ang mararamdaman ko dahil sa unang pagkakataon na nakatapak ako sa dela Merced residence, ang sadya ko ay para makiramay sa pagkamatay ni Bella. Alam ko na kahit anong sabihin ko sa mga magulang niya, wala akong magagawa para mabawasan ang lungkot na dala ng pagkawala ng nag-iisa nilang anak.

Sa maikling panahon na nakilala ko si Bella, half of which I spent practically hating her, I eventually learned kung bakit siya ang kauna-unahang babae na sineryoso ni Vren. She had almost everything a man looks for in a woman. Siguro, hindi lang maisasama roon ang salitang loyalty dahil nagawa niyang lokohin at iwan si Vren. But frankly, I didn't know the whole story of their breakup, which makes me in no place to judge.

Still, hindi ako katulad ng iba na ikinatutuwa ang pagkawala ng karibal nila. Oo, I wanted Bella out of Vren's life as much as possible, pero hindi ko naman hiniling na literal siyang mawala sa mundo.

The moment we arrived, kaagad na niyakap ni Tita Ivana si Vren. Her eyes, as expected, were red from crying. Sir Arkin, on the other hand, looked surprised to see me — just as I predicted.

"Ms. Custodio, what brought you here?" he asked.

I cleared my throat as the awkwardness I feel whenever I'm around Bella's father started to resurface.

"Sir, I didn't have the chance to tell you this when we met at the conference, pero kilala ko po si Bella. It's because Vren and I..." I snuck a glance at my boyfriend, who was comforting Tita Ivana, "are actually together."

"I see," Sir Arkin replied with a nod of his head.

"Condolence nga po pala," pagkaraan ay sabi ko. "I'm really sorry about Bella."

"Thank you, hija." He gave me a sad smile. His wife, at that point, started to approach us.

"Condolence po, Tita," sabi ko nang ako naman ang yakapin ng nanay ni Bella.

"Thank you, Mira," she responded in an almost-whisper.

When we pulled apart from each other, she took folded pieces of cream-colored paper out of her purse. "Bella left these for you," she said, looking at me and Vren. "She made me promise to give them to you."

Her face broke into yet the most heartbreaking expression I ever saw. I couldn't help but hug her once more.

"You really remind me of Bella." Tita Ivana was now in tears again. "It's a shame you only had the chance to meet her until lately. You could've been good friends."

"Ivana..." Sir Arkin tried to calm his wife down, patting her gently on the back.

"Tita, maybe Mira and I should..." Vren gestured to the space in front of us.

"Of course, hijo," Tita Ivana agreed.

Vren and I walked together to see Bella for the last time. Vren shared with me on our way here that Bella only wanted one night of wake before having her body cremated — she ardently made her parents promise to do so.

She looked so peaceful, and if I focus on her face long enough to block out the square of glass separating her from us, I could imagine her just sleeping. If there is one thing death failed to claim from Bella, it was her beauty.

When I got the chance, I started to read her letter, wondering what Bella's last words for me could be.

****

Dear Mira,

I don't know why but the first time I saw you with Andrei at Hollier's homecoming event, I felt something — it's as if I've known you for a long time. Yes, I know it's weird, but I think it's the reason why I never felt any grudge toward you, despite you being the woman who holds my Andrei's heart now.

Sorry if I caused quite a conflict between you and Andrei. Believe me, it was never my intention to break the two of you apart. I only wanted to apologize to him. After I broke his heart, he felt nothing but resentment, and it affected his relationship with other people, too. I know I am the reason why he learned to hate and mistrust practically everyone around him, including his own family.

But you, Mira, healed him. I may have had Andrei at his best while you started off with him being at his worst, but you still managed to make things work between the two of you. I admire you for that. And after seeing the person he became because of you, I could say that your Vren is even better than my Andrei. It pains me to think that I will never be the girl who will spend forever with him but knowing that I'll be leaving him in your care, at least I could leave in peace.

Andrei told me during one of his visits that you are the best thing that has ever happened to him. He may have been in love with me before, but I never had that honor. You're lucky, Mira. I would give anything and everything just to be in your place.

Never doubt Andrei's love for you. Yes, he might act foolish sometimes and do things that will make you question his devotion to you. But take my word for it — you are the girl he's going to take to the altar. I'm sure of it.

Take care of him, okay? No matter what happens, never ever leave Andrei. Falling in love is choosing a person over and over again, Mira, and I hope you'll choose him everytime. Do not repeat my mistake — abandoning him is my greatest regret. Trust me, you don't want to feel the same way as I did.

I wish you and Andrei all the best. I'm pretty sure you'll be having little Miras and little Vrens in no time. When you do, give your little angels their Tita Bella's love.

Bella

****

Being the emotional person that I am, by the time na tapos ko nang basahin ang sulat ni Bella para sa akin, namumugto na ang mga mata ko dahil sa pag-iyak.

Kaya pala sobrang closed-off ni Vren noon — it was because of his ex-girlfriend. My boyfriend had a terrible case of a broken heart. And, according to Bella, ako ang nakapagpagaling sa pusong wasak na wasak ni Nasty Mack, este, ni Vren.

Mas madali sana kung hanggang sa huli, karibal ang tingin ko kay Bella. Pero ngayong nakasigurado na akong wala naman pala siyang intensyon na sirain ang relasyon namin ni Vren, nakaramdam tuloy ako ng pagkakonsensya dahil imagine, naisipan ko pang hatawin siya ng oxygen tank noon. Hindi ko naisip na siya rin pala ay nasasaktan dahil never nang magiging kanya si Vren. Idagdag pa na habang pinapatay siya ng selos ay sige rin ang sakit niya sa paggupo sa kanya.

Kung nakakatunaw lang ang guilt, I'd probably be a pink puddle of goo right now.

Bella was just this sweet, lovable woman who made a mistake and wanted to apologize for it. Tama nga si Tita Ivana — kung sa ibang panahon at pagkakataon lang kami nagkakilala ng kanyang anak, malaki ang tsansa na naging magkaibigan kami.

I furiously wiped the tears off my face when I saw Vren approaching me.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "I see that you've read Bella's letter."

Tumango ako. "Ang lakas maka-Ate Charo ng ex-girlfriend mo, Vren. Ganito na ba talaga si Bella kahit noon pa, tagos sa puso kung magsalita?"

Vren smiled. "Yeah, that's always how she had been. Bella's a good woman, and I regret forgetting that because of a single mistake from her. Then again, I know that things happen for a reason. If she and I remained with each other, I would've never met you."

"Inihabilin ka niya sa akin."

"I'd be surprised if she didn't. She said the same thing to me, too." He glanced at the letter he was holding. "She kept telling me not to be an idiot and take care of you at all cost."

"Tinawag ka niyang 'idiot'?" I chuckled.

"Yeah." Vren grinned, only to frown a few seconds later at something behind us. Dahil nagulat ako sa biglaang pag-askad ng timpla niya, nilingon ko kung ano ang naging dahilan nito.

Uh-oh.

It was Chase, who had arrived to also pay his respects to Bella. And just to confirm the source of his annoyance, Vren said, "What the hell is that guy doing here?"

"Kumalma ka nga!" I hissed at him. "Ceasefire muna kayo, okay? Alam kong bwisit ka kay Chase, pero igalang mo ang burol ni Bella. 'Wag kayong gumawa ng eksena rito."

My words, fortunately, had the desired effect of calming down Vren. He took a deep breath before saying, "You're right. I'm sorry. It's just that... I really hate the guy."

I watched as Chase approached Sir Arkin and Tita Ivana, surely to tell them his condolences. Then he spent a few moments looking at Bella's remains.

So, tama nga ang hinala ko na magkakilala ang ex-girlfriend ni Vren at ang ex-suitor ko.

Siguro ay dahil naramdaman niyang may nakatitig sa kanya, lumingon si Chase sa aming direksyon. He didn't even seem surprised to see me and Vren; on the contrary, he nodded politely and started to walk towards us.

"Hey, Mira. Vren," bati niya sa amin. "Thought I'd be seeing you here, too."

"Of course, we'd be here. We're Bella's friends," kaagad na sagot sa kanya ni Vren. My boyfriend didn't even bother hiding the contempt in his tone. "How about you? What the hell are you doing here? I don't remember Bella ever mentioning a Chase Constantino."

Chase's face broke into an amused smile. "Too bad. Alam mo, Vren, maraming naikwento si Bella sa akin tungkol sa'yo."

"Really? That's funny," Vren remarked. "Like I said, she never mentioned you to us. Guess you're just this unimportant piece of shit who Bella happened to know at one point, but had quickly forgotten about."

Lalong lumapad ang nakakalokong ngiti ni Chase. "If I were you, bro, I'd brace myself. There's something Bella's been hiding for quite a long time now... and it concerns you."

"What utter nonsense." Vren sniggered. "If you really know something that important, then prove it. Otherwise, stop trying to make a big deal out of yourself."

"Easy, Vren." Chase's eyes glinted with mischief. "You'll know everything in time."

****

Hindi na rin nagtagal si Chase sa lamay ni Bella. Mabuti na rin 'yon, dahil baka kung nagkataon ay tuluyan pa silang nagkagulo ni Vren. I was pretty sure that his cryptic statements from a while ago had rattled my boyfriend, despite the latter trying to play it cool.

"Hey, baby brother." Napalingon kami ni Vren nang biglang may lumapit sa kinauupuan namin. Turned out, it was Ate Vira. Mukhang magkasabay sila ni Vince na pumunta rito — my doctor friend was approaching us, too.

"Fuck off, Vira," walang kagatol-gatol na sagot ni Vren sa kanyang ate. Pinandilatan ko nga with matching hampas!

Ate Vira, on the other hand, only chuckled at her younger brother's temper.

"Hello, Mira," she said as she hugged me in greeting. "I see that you already know about Isabella."

"Opo. Sinabi ni Vren sa akin ang tungkol sa kanya, Ate," I answered.

"It's a shame she's gone too soon," komento ni Ate Vira. "She was a lovely woman. We used to be good friends, but we lost contact over the years."

"Hi, Mira. Hi, bro." Tuluyan nang nakalapit sa amin si Vince. He hugged me as well before clapping his brother on the back. "How are you?" he then asked Vren in a low voice.

"I'm fine. Why shouldn't I be?" pagsusuplado ni Vren sa kanyang kuya.

"No need to be so grumpy," Vince told him, looking indignant but unsurprised at his brother's hostility.

Kahit kailan talaga 'tong si Vren, walang sinasanto kapag tinopak!

"What triggered Vren's PMS?" Ate Vira asked in a whisper, making me laugh. I quickly stifled the sound, though, as it would be very disrespectful given where we were at the moment.

"Nakita niya po kasi ang isa sa mga mortal niyang kaaway," pabulong rin na paliwanag ko.

"Oh, some mortal enemy." Bahagyang napangiti si Ate Vira. "I bet it's the guy Bella left Vren for. He was here too, you know."

"Kilala mo po ang ipinalit ni Bella kay Vren, Ate?" gulat na tanong ko sa kanya.

"Uh-huh. I saw him leaving just as Vince and I arrived."

Oh, my God. Could she be referring to Chase?

After getting over my shock, my instant thought was, "Kung si Chase nga ang ipinalit ni Bella kay Vren, paano mangyayari 'yon kung all this time, nasa Australia si Chase? Unless..."

"Ate, curious lang ako," I started, trying to look unassuming as I met Vren's sister's eyes, "was there ever a time na umalis ng Pilipinas si Bella?"

"Huh?" Now it was Ate Vira's turn to look surprised. "How did you know about that?"

"So, umalis nga siya dati," I said, dodging her question. "Saan po siya nagpunta?"

Ate Vira looked discomfited at first, but continued speaking nonetheless, much to my relief. "Alright. I don't see any harm in telling you this, anyway. At some point, Bella went abroad without telling anyone exactly where she was, except for me and her best friend, Andi. I didn't even know she broke up with Vren until later, but whatever."

I held my breath as I waited for the rest of the story.

"Just because she's no longer with my brother, it didn't mean I should stop being friends with Bella," Ate Vira continued. "Sadly, time and distance did their thing, and eventually, we weren't able to keep in touch. But before we lost contact with each other, she managed to tell me about this special guy she met in Australia, even sending me a photo of them together. Kaya alam ko kung kanino ipinagpalit ni Bella si Vren."

It was the last piece of the puzzle — Australia. I was right in thinking that Bella and Chase were an item.