My Mom Knocks on my door

"Sweetie are you in there you haven't come out all day!?" She says

I didn't answer I just sat there laying on my bed..I Feel something I haven't felt in a while..Empty..

Mom opens the door and sees me laying there not moving just looking at the roof in a hoodie and sweat pants

"Baby are you okay?" My mom says laying down beside me hugging me lightly.

"Yeah I'm okay..." I say quietly

My eyes are dry from crying and I look dead from lack of sleep

"I'ma go for a walk" I say sitting up

As i sit up in bed looking at my mom she answers me with

"Okay hunny make sure you eat something you look horrible" she says Caringly

I smiled and walked out of the house without her realizing I ate nothing. I wasn't really hungry to begin with so I was okay with it.

I walked for an hour in my hoodie and sweatpants with earbuds in my ears blaring music. I bought Some alcohol from a friend and hid it along with a couple joints I wanted to feel something and they are always willing to sell..

Theres something about how you can affect others and having depression because when you do horrible shit makes things worse....god Will this ever go away.

I Answered My Boyfriend as I look through his texts

_______________
| (HIS TEXTS) |
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"Tell Danny I Said Hi" -9:50

"Hello?" -10:00

"Baby you haven't texted me back!?"
-8:00

"AJ are you okay!?"- a few minutes ago
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I texted him back

"Yeah I'm fine I'm just really tired I'll talk to you later baby I love you"

I turned on my favorite song and blared it as I walked to taco bell and grabbed Food then I went to the bridge and sat on the edge as I smoked one of the joints as

I started getting the munchies like 10 minutes later so I ate my food and downed my drink. The food was cold but I ate it anyways.

Out of nowhere Alex Pulled up in his car parked on the bridge and sat by me.

"AJ Why are you on a bridge" he says

He is looking at me and He smells and sees my joint

"WTH!?! YOUR SMOKING WEED?"

I look at him calmly.

"Oh yeah~ forgot about that"

I said with a smile he looked pissed at me

"And what's with the no answering me or your boyfriend? Is it about last night...look we don't need to talk about it or remember it we can still have our movie nights and hangout just not for a week or two.."

I laugh and look down..