..

tori is nowhere perfect, even if people think she has the beauty and the brains and the personality to go anywhere and everywhere.

tori hates being one of the smartest people in the class, but also beats herself immensely because she can't get one easy question or task right in a subject – she is supposed to be the smartest in the class after all.

tori hates how she stresses too much because she can't balance her life with friends and school and not procrastinate in the middle to have actual time for herself. she hates how she thinks of others way too much over herself, and end up heartbroken and used and feeling disgusted when the people she cares about does not show the same gratitude. she can't seem to love herself enough though, so she tends to give that pent-up love to others. she hates how selfless and loyal she is to the point ( sometimes ) that it is a bad thing for her to be herself to others.

tori hates how she cares way too much about her figure, of her face, of how she smiles. she hates it when the middle of her nose crinkles when she laughs, and how she may accidentally show a double chin, or how she has to show too much gums when she smiles, or her voice in videos. she is even self-conscious of her voice that she doesn't blurt out to random songs as much as she did before.

tori hates how she overthinks too much, which leads to self-doubt and anxiety ( something that she has been experiencing a lot for the past month or so ). good-minded tori clashing with mean-minded tori – it makes her not have enough sleep for the past month or so too.

but tori is getting there, just like any other human.

tori loves how her work ethic is benefiting her, though the constant sleepless nights and cups of hot chocolate and bottles of iced tea tolled her ( and her wallet ). currently got a 98% in her physics test ( and it's her worst branch of science ) which is only one mistake in total. also being the highest in her grade, along with five subject awards, was her total highlight of the last year. the looks of her parents was priceless to her, one that she strives to do even though they, too, pressure her at times.

tori is slowly loving herself, but still being a loving "motherly figure" to her friends and others. she loved how, days before her birthday, she decided to donate her long hair to a hair organisation that produces wigs for cancer patients. she loves how selfless she was back then, and giving her full trust to her best friend the liberty to cut her hair ( she didn't think their friendship would go to this extreme in such an early age ). she was giddy when she received a text from a friend of hers ( she knows that that person might be reading this right now ) telling her how much she was inspired by tori's actions and deciding to donate her hair too. she was so touched that someone was inspired by a human like her.

tori likes how she doesn't care about her legs not being shaved and how she is confident to wear shorts without complaining ( unlike the thousands, maybe even millions, of teens and tweens who do it ). she loves her hair and she is proud to say that she loves how she is not biting her nails anymore. she loves her sense of style and loves her confidence and how she looks in different outfits. she likes how she bonds a lot with her mother with fashion and how to better her look and confidence with each occasion. she loves how she is not going to her simple monochrome clothes, but is trying to pop some colour in her life – trying to know herself better to become better.

tori is getting there, like every human in this world. and she's happy that she realises all of the things in this chapter. tori wants to thank all of her friends that comment and encourage her in every way possible – without them, she would not be the person who would be openly talking to said friends today. through inbox messages, talks, or comments in her amateur books, she thanks you all. she knows, in her heart, that her friends know who they are ( hopefully xD ).

tori also wants to extend this tag to anyone who is willing to find out more about themselves and to realise what they can do to better themselves as a human in this world.

tori also wants to say that even though there is always a chance to think negatively about yourself, there is also a bigger chance to tell everything that is beautiful about your lovely soul. :")

..

i was tagged by mai-eo to do this "roast yourself" challenge :")

yeah, sorry for the long tag that took me 30 minutes ( which could've been used for the last few chapters of my book but yeah :'3 )

THE BOOK POLL IS STILL OPEN

( pls tell others cos legit my readers are so quiet ;; . ;; )

tori

04 • 08 • 16