1. You are reading this

2. You are human

3. You can't say the letter 'p' without parting your lips

4. You just tried to do that ^

6. You are not questioning why there is no number five

7. You just looked back to see if there was another five

8. You think I am awesome

9. You are nearing the end of this

10. You have finished reading this

See? I'm psychic. 😎