Lately here in America, on the news there has been lots of talk about the two celebrities who have taken their own lives and because of that it has shined a light on the topic that no one wants to address.

I personally have mixed feelings about the whole thing and I'll explain why.

For one, I love how they're shining the light on mental illness and all but they didn't truly do anything except for when someone of high status has taken their own life and then they're like," Oh, now we should release the information about suicide and mental illness". 

It annoys me to no end, there are people taking their life everyday but you wouldn't truly care until it's some kind of celebrity. Then there's the fact that people say that it's ' So hard to talk about'. Yeah I get it, it's uncomfortable but not so hard that you have to keep quiet about it. 

I don't know about you but I'm not afraid to talk about it, especially because I was going to take my own life. Many of you didn't know, and only a couple of you did. I hated my life and I wanted nothing to do with it because I believed I was worthless, not special in the slightest, and that I was a disappointment to my family because of who I was.

You won't know if someone close to you has a mental illness because just like me, they'll keep it hidden and fake it just hoping that things will get better. But things won't get better without help and that's when close people, loved ones or even complete strangers can step in and help.

As much as I hate that they're only now discussing suicide just because two celebrities took their lives. It's completely sad, and my heart goes out to the families and close friends of the two but you can't just decide to do something when it's someone of a higher power.

People have been fighting to help people with mental illnesses but lots won't listen because it doesn't talk to them personally as much as it does to those other people.

But I have to commend them for now showing what mental illness can lead to. It shows people like me who were drowning in their own sadness and despair, silently so no one could hear. I was one of the few lucky ones that were able to be saved.

It shows that suicide can happen anytime because you don't know what that person is thinking, what they're feeling and if you don't notice the signs so you could help that person, it could be too late.

Now the numbers are out, they're giving out more and more resources for people to get help. 54% of the Suicides that occur, are with people who have no known mental illness. That's because they never reported it.

We can fight it, we can help the people who are drowning in their sadness, we can show them that there are ways to get better and bring light into their life.

If you notice something is wrong with some, that they're socially isolating themselves, that their mood is changing and other symptoms. Do not hesitate to ask if their having suicidal thoughts, that question could end up saving that persons life.

I know this is sudden but this speaks volumes to me. I wanted to die. I had my whole plan figured out. I thought that of course people who cry, but they'd get over my death quickly and forget about me. That one jump off that bridge, and I would be gone.

I confided in friends, they helped but it wasn't enough. I was sent to the counselor and told her everything, She listened and asked me if she could tell my mom, I agreed because I was sick and tired of these thoughts saying that I wasn't good enough and that was nothing but worthless trash and that I deserved to die.

I got the help, confining in my Bishop and he helped me. I know I still need more help, I know that these thoughts won't go away all that suddenly but I'm working on it. And I know for anyone who is thinking of taking their own life, You can get better too.

I've had close people suffer with depression like I did, they also tried to take their life. But I'm glad those attempts failed, because I care about them I want them to live and be happy.

They're doing better thankfully, and I couldn't thank God enough for that. And if you ever feel those sinking feelings, please never hesitate to talk to someone or you can could talk to me. I couldn't care less about ship wars and shiz, I care about helping other people get better. So if you need someone to talk to, you can always come to me.

So now for the people who keep thinking that you aren't worth the time of day.

You're beautiful. You're smart. You're funny. You're unique. You're powerful. You can get better. You are the light in the darkness, all you need is help to shine as bright as you can. And most importantly.

You're not alone.

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~ Pupsey