Sometimes you sit there with someone and stare at how they have changed. You think about how you mad an impact in their life. Then you remember that you once left them. That once you left them to cry, to sit in the darkness by themselves. And you end up sitting in a room without light, staring at a dark wall you can't even see as the rain patters lightly against your window. You sit there and think about how you gave them what they had and how you told them you wouldn't leave. How you promised them you would stay by their side. Then you recall exactly how you broke that promise. How you left them alone for someone who you knew would hurt you. So you feel tears swell up in your eyes. They burn and your vision gets blurry as you continue to stare at the hidden wall. You try not to cry, but the burning gets worse, forcing you to close your eyes. And that's when it comes. The uncontrollable streams of salty rivers running down your face. You pull your knees up to your chest and cover your head, shivering involuntarily as you try to remain unheard. Weeks later, the same thing happens to you. You do the same thing and get on Wattpad to share the experience with people who don't care. Then you tell everyone something you didn't tell your Bubba or your Best Friend: you are crazy and imagined a Guardian at the age of four years old to help you through your life and have been talking to this Guardian who's name is Veilor and happens to be a wolf. Everything your Bubba has told you, you turn to Veilor to ask if you should trust those words. If it is confirmed, you do so. This Guardian protected you your whole life, he told you what you can and can't do and you hid him from the world. You stroke his fur while he sits in your lap to watch over you until you drift off to sleep. He tells you you can't trust anyone but him and you believe him. But when you start to fall for someone unbelievable, he tells you that it is okay to trust them and their lover. Someone you know. Veilor sits next to you while you sit against a cold wall in the dark, your Kindle Fire the only illumination in the whole room. He nuzzles you and licks your cheek as you type, whispering to you that everything will be okay as you sit there knowing it won't. He stares at you, whimpering to see if you are feeling okay. He knows you aren't so he leans towards you. You drop your Kindle and hug him, taking in his fresh scent of morning dew, even though it is nighttime. After a few minutes of calming down, you shudder and pick up the device to continue writing. You feel like you can only trust something- no- someone from your imagination. You begin to wonder if the two humans you might trust are even real. You decide to finish up the page before you publish it and cry while holding the one thing that soothes you most.
Elapsed time: 149 hours (roughly)

Now you realize you must go and cry in silence. Because it seems so much easier to cry in darkness.