Life right now

is something i dont wanna choose right now

um.. idk what to believe 

idk who to trust 

idk who's by myself 

or who actually loves me 

the one that i loved the most was someone.. who was very dear to me

he was someone that i really fell for hard so fucking hard that 

he just ended up leaving me 

if your reading this Matt you're reading this..

well your going to see how crazy i went because of you 

once upon a time theirs 2 teens that met over wattpad the girl named Amy had stumbled to this account called Us_Emo_Teens then she noticed theirs like over 27 people sharing this account which was odd to her when she was scrolling down through the bios this one boy named Matthew had caught her eye she read his bio & thought "hey maybe i can get a friend from here for a change" she messaged the group asking to speak to Matthew once he replied to her she got happy so then thats when everything started one day Matt asked Amy out because they both had feelings for each other then Amy was afraid to be with Matt because she thought he was going to hurt her so she tried trusting him but failed causing an argument between them but they made up Amy had changed her mind & for sure trusted Matt one day Amy's knight in shining armor had messaged her to make a account on quotev Amy knew that website because when she was younger she would always read books from there so she thought it was a great idea now the couple had found each other on the website & messaged each other weeks later Amy had noticed that her boyfriend had already showed her 3 pics of different emo people saying it was him but what did Amy do? nothing because she trusted him then this one guy that Matt was showing her saying it was him made Amy put those thoughts that he was catfishing her away because she believed that he was finally showing the real him to her now Amy was ranting about things on the website how people would catfish people & whatever a couple of people liked it & she really didn't care now Amy already knows like 2 of Matts friends (im not going to put their names in here so imma make some up 

Angel was one of his friends that kinda helped me understand some things

Cookie was another of his friends that we just barley talked to each other

then Devil was someone i'll explain later on) 

so one day Cookie messaged Amy about Matt how he was going to text me later on but late at night & he showed Amy a screenshot for proof so Amy noticed he didn;t take out Matts number so Amy fucked with her boyfriend for a tiny bit then Matt found out that it was Amy so they both had a great laugh about it Amy had got a random message from a random person that she didn't know & she noticed that this guy was flirting with her so she just tried avoiding it  & so she did she looked through his account then kinda reminded Amy of Matt because the usernames were alike to Matt's & the way they both talked just made Amy suspect stuff but she ignored it she told Devil to leave her alone & so he did weeks later someone had commented on her rant about the catfishing it was a random girl she didn't know saying that he boyfriend is fake when Amy read that her heart dropped & she broke down the girl sent Amy a link so a profile on Instagram & it was the boy she thought that was Matt so Amy snapped at Matt texting him & sending him screenshots of everything she wasn't feeling right at all she felt everything just broke down so she called her friend then her friend comfort Amy about it while Amy was video chatting her friend crying her eyes out she got a text from her boyfriend saying some bullshit that i forgot about but it creeped Amy out Amy checked her quotev & texted Angel but Devil had messaged Amy saying "i told you so.. you didn't believe me" Amy went from crying to wtf she asked how did he know but whatever excuse that he gave her made Amy not believe anyone anymore so Amy just closed her laptop & told her lying boyfriend that it was over she cried & cried all day that day until her phone went off saying "Angel replied to your message from quotev" Amy was scared she didn't want to open it but she still did anyways Angel had to explain how Matt was trying to keep it from Amy because he didnt want to ruin anything Amy wasnt to sure what to believe anymore so Devil  & Amy started talking he was trying his best to make Amy get over Matt but she couldn't every night she would read the messages she had with her ex & she missed it then it clicked in her brain that she fell in love with him so Angel texted Amy & told her to talk to Matthew because he was trying to kill himself so with the little bit of love she had she used it on Matthew Amy missed how things were so she told him that she still loved him & he felt the same way still well at least Amy thought that he still felt the same way many weeks later Matt asked Amy out again & they were happy but Amy was having a break down during the time & her loving boyfriend had told her that Amy had changed ever sense she found out that he was fake Amy did realize that after he told her so she asked him if they can both start over make things fresh again so they both did everything was fine until her friend didn't trust Matt because of how much pain he put Amy through Amy's friend just hated his guts but Amy still loved him she was blinded by love Amy asked her boyfriend for a pic of him holding something that had her name on & he agreed to it but then...

Amy had waited for a whole day then another... then another she ended up getting a text from a random number saying how Matt got hurt at work so Amy became worried & felt bad so sense she snapped at Matt over the messages she wanted to make it up to him by writing 100 reasons why she loved him she sat down put her music on & used her markers 2 hours later she was finally done & she was proud of what she made for him & she was real happy to show him what she made for him but... again

day after day after day no answer from that random number

once Amy got tired of waiting she just told the number "wtf is going on your not telling me shit is Matt doing okay"

the number replied telling her

"i guess you need to know the truth well... Matthew is dead.."

Amy had broke down again she couldn't speak she couldn't move its like she got paralyzed 

all of her feelings went away she felt numb but it was weird for her because she felt numb for the first time she called her friend once again & her friend said

"i bet thats Matt using a friends number so he can avoid taking the pic maybe this is his way on leaving you" 

the next day Amy went to school 

she sat next to her friend in class then her friend noticed that Amy was getting pale Amy didn't eat her lunch Amy didn't even fix her hair she didn't put on makeup it was just sadness you saw from her 

Amy was listening to music in class & they were all love songs for some strange reason Amy freaked out & said to her friend "i think Matt is sending me messages through music maybe he's telling me he still loves me maybe he's watching over me!!" her friend had looked at Amy like she was crazy the thought made Amy feel a little better how Matt was watching over her 

but.. one day Amy checks her quotev to unfollow the people who unfollowed her then she noticed someone did it before the amount of followers were lower but who would've unfollowed the people who unfollowed her then it clicked in her head "the only person who had my password was Matt" Amy went crazy she ranted about it & told her friend about it Amy was glad she finally felt something but it was just pure hate 

months later (present day now)

its been 2 or 3 months since all of this happened & Amy cant get over him 

no matter how much she'll try to move on she just cant Amy's god mother had asked Amy if she wanted to go to califorina for 2 weeks Amy thought "maybe this will help me take my mind off of things" so Amy had went when Amy went to sleep she had a dream about Matt how Amy & her best friend were at the mall then they both went to the bathroom her best friend is fixing her hair in the mirror & Amy was just sitting on the floor then she gets a text from Matt & everything felt so happy but then she remembered everything Amy felt all the pain again & hate then she was about to snap at Matt about it but then Amy woke up she looked at her phone it was 3 in the morning she started crying because she missed him so much but she hated herself for it

Matt this is everything you have put me through 

i now have trust issues

i now feel numb 

& now i dont believe in love anymore 

thank you Matt