[chloe]

It had been almost two months since my father declared that I was going to be marrying Matthew and, when my father had said that preparations were already in place, he hadn't been joking about that. He really had begun putting the preparations in place and he had thought of everything which he needed so that this 'wedding' flew as smoothly as possible.

I had been fitted for a wedding dress, though I knew that it was already going to need adjusting before I walked down the aisle, because I was growing bigger each week and my bump was now visible. I was used to the judgemental looks I got from our neighbours whenever I left the house and I was even used to the whispering which was still going on at school, but none of that bothered me now.

Matthew had, reluctantly, decided on the cake which we were going to be having. My mother had paid for the venue because, just as I knew she would, she agreed that marriage was the right decision since she didn't want her grandchild growing up without both its mother and father around. I had wanted to make a comment on how I had turned out just fine without the love of my parents, but Matthew had forced me to bite my tongue and then I had ended up staying in his spare room that night so that I wouldn't do something which would cause me more problems.

Christmas was less enjoyable than it usually was. The pregnancy hormone had wreaked havoc with my emotions and, if I wasn't crying uncontrollably, then I was laughing at something which wasn't even funny and, if I wasn't doing that, then I was planning how I could best murder my parents without being caught. I spent the entire period in my bedroom and I was almost grateful when we went back to school in January, simply because it meant that I could escape that house for six hours and I could pretend that I was a normal seventeen-year-old who was in her final year of school.

And my father had even decided on the guest list. I wasn't surprised when I didn't see Jodie on the list because she was just another one of those people my father hated and didn't want me to be friends with her, but that was a friendship which I pursued with to spite him and piss him off even more than I already had done.

I remember when Jason found out about the marriage. He was fuming, so much so that he punched our father in the face and broke his nose. He told our father that he was a fucking idiot and, if he thought that marriage was the answer, then he really was a sorry excuse of a man. He is now uninvited to the wedding but, when Jason walked away from him laughing, I don't think that he really gives a damn either way whether he is there or not.

John and Vivienne were still trying to convince my father that this wedding was a bad idea and that there were other ways we could ensure that this baby had both sets of parents in their life; they had even told him that it was against the law in so many ways. I had even told him that I would run away if he forced me into this marriage but, as my father cruelly pointed out, there is nowhere for me to go because there is no one—with the exception of Jason, John and Vivienne—who actually loves me, and my father would find me if I went anywhere with any of those.

Braydon had tried to get back in contact with me but, when he found out that I was marrying the person who had gotten me pregnant, there was an argument and he told me that it really was over between the two of us this time. He told me that there was no way in hell that he would ever be happy with someone who would happily give myself to any man who showed me the slightest bit of attention—he even told me that he never would have slept with me, even if I wanted him to, because there were far better women out there who could give him everything I would never be able to.

In four weeks, school would be finished with for the term, and the week after that I would become a married woman. I didn't want it to happen, I just wanted to run and hide, but I knew that my father would find me in the end and he would do everything in his power to make sure I suffered for running away from him—it was just easier for me to do what it was that he wanted me to do and then I could live my life, pretending that I wasn't married, and that I was just a mother to my child.

"I thought that I would find you here," a voice interrupted my thoughts and I turned to see that Matthew was stood in front of me and, as usual whenever he saw me, he was smiling and it made me feel somewhat better on the inside. While I had left everyone to plan the supposed wedding of my dreams, I had taken to hiding under the tree at the bottom of the field just behind my parent's house, and I would often find myself rubbing my bump while talking to my baby.

"Did you now?" I moved to the left a little so that there was room for him to lean against the tree beside me.

"You spend most of your time down here lately. I am surprised that you haven't started building your own home," Matthew replied. In the last month, he had actually been making a real effort to be there for me and the baby, and it was like we were getting to know each other all over again. He had been there for me whenever I had to visit the midwife and he had even been there for me during the first antenatal appointment—the midwife was a little surprised when she met Matthew because, since John had assigned someone to me, it was the first time Matthew had actually been there with me and she found it a little hard to believe that he was the father.

The only problem with constantly being around him was that I was having to fight off the sexual urges which built whenever I was with him. The midwife had warned me that it could happen, that my sex drive would be on the up, but I didn't think that I would be one of those people it actually effected. I just like to pretend that I don't want to sleep with the father of my baby every single time I see him and I fight to keep my hands to myself most of the time.

"I had thought about it, but then I thought it was pointless since my parents have already brought a house me," I said sarcastically. It was an attempt by my father to buy back my love and to show me that there were no hard feelings, but I just thought that he was trying too hard to earn my forgiveness and I told him that if he called off the wedding then there was a chance that our relationship might just improve.

"Your parents bought you a house?"

"Technically it is our house. My mother and father wanted us to have some privacy in our private life." It was almost humorous when I thought about it because neither of those two knew the meaning of the privacy. They were always in each other's business and had this requirement to know what the other was up to, and that's part of the reason that their affairs were never exactly a secret.

"You know Lydia wants your blood, right? She is convinced that you proposed to me," Matthew laughed and I couldn't help but join in with him. Anyone who knew the relationship between the two of us would know just how ridiculous that idea was. We were always at each other's throats and he always knew how to push my buttons, so the thought of getting down on one knee to propose to him is hilarious.

"If she wants to fight, then I will fight her," I shrugged.

"Babe. You are almost five months pregnant. I don't think fighting her would be the best idea you have ever had," Matthew chuckled.

"I would still win." I looked down at the bump which was obvious beneath the top I had decided I was going to wear today, and I made a mental note that I needed to go shopping because the majority of my clothes were too small for me now and it was a battle to get into them each morning. I had taken to wear Jason's tops to bed just so that I was comfortable and, whenever I went round to Matthew's place, I was always stealing his clothes so that I had room to breathe.

I had an increased urge to protect my little one. It was my job to ensure that no harm came to the baby, either before they were born nor from the moment they entered the world, and I was willing to do anything it took to ensure that they were always safe. I would even fight a bitch if that's what I needed to do, because no one was going to harm my child or anyone to do with this child.

I am the first to admit that I have made mistakes, my biggest being thinking that abortion was the right idea, and I will even admit that I haven't been the best person to grow up either. But I knew that it was time to grow up and act more mature than I had been. I don't know if it was my motherly instincts kicking in or if it was the idea of being a wife to someone but, either way, I realised that I couldn't keep acting like a spoilt child anymore.

"I hope that we have a little girl. I would love her, spoil her rotten, and I would be sure to protect you from guys like me," Matthew said out of nowhere.

"Guys like you?"

"My dad told me what you said about me and—"

"I was pissed at you when I said what I did, Matt. You have told me to abort the baby and continued with your life like nothing had happened." I allowed my head to fall onto his shoulder and, as had become a regular occurrence with me doing this, he put his arm around my waist and rest his hand on the top of my stomach. I had told him that I found it comfortable when he did that and it made sitting down a little less painful.

"No, Clo, you were right. I am a joke and I should never have treated you the way that I did, both when I walked out of your life and when I found out that you were pregnant," Matthew sighed and I was actually surprised that Matthew was admitting the sort of person he had been before. But, at the same time, I was also exceptionally happy that he was finally recognising what he had done wrong. "I shouldn't have treated any lf the girls I slept with the way that I did. And, I know that I have made mistakes nor am I that kid my father makes me out to be, but I will be sure to be the best damn father I can be to this baby."

"John didn't understand how I was feeling either. He just kept defending your actions." I had already been letting Matthew back into my life and, while it could turn out to be a mistake in doing so, I was also aware that I had no one else left who actually cared about me and was there for me. Jodie did her best but, when her father had walked back into her life just before Christmas and she had deciding rebelling against her mother was the best idea, she had been there for me less than she had been before everything happened. "I don't know if I will ever forgive you for what you said to me, not when those words are always in the back of my mind, but I don't doubt that you will be a good father."

"You know that my father only wants to see the good in me. He has never been able to see how much of a problem child I really am, and that's his biggest downfall."

"I wish that my father was like that. He has only ever seen me as a disappointed and he has made it his life's mission to pick out all of my flaws, constantly telling me that I need to be a better daughter. It's part of the reason I am a little happy to have our own house because it is finally that freedom away from my parents which I have spent so long looking for."

"You are going to be an amazing mother and our baby is going to grow up being proud to call you their mother," Matthew smiled down at me and, try as I may, I couldn't hold back the smile which had made its way onto my face. It was the first time someone had actually told me that they thought I was going to be a good mother and, despite the small voice in the back of my mind which was making me question my ability as a mother, it was nice to know that there was someone who believed in me.

"We should get going. Both the midwife and your father will kill us if we are late to this scan."

"Have you decided whether we are going to find out the sex today? You know—"

"Before you ramble on, I have decided that we are going to find out what we are having. But—"

"There is always a 'but' with you women," Matthew muttered as he stood up from the ground and offered me a hand to help me up as well.

"You have to agree with me on the names which I have picked out," I teased. I hadn't told anyone but, just like Matthew, I actually wanted a little girl and I had her name picked out from the moment John confirmed that I was pregnant.

"Annnnnd?—"

"If it's a girl, I want her name to be Amanda Jodie, and if it's a boy, I want his name to be Thomas Jason." I had picked the middle names because they were the two people who meant the most to me and I wanted my baby to know that they were named after someone who loved me, even when I didn't love myself. I would tell them all about Jodie and Jason, and about how they were the only people there for me when everyone else walked away from me.

"What's with the middle names?"

"Jodie is my best friend and Jason is my brother. They are the two people who have always been there for me and, between the pair of them, they are my rock. Especially with everything which is happening at the moment, even though Jodie still doesn't know everything." I didn't think that, with everything Jodie had going on in her own life, that she would want to deal with this as well. She would never really understand it and she would blame all the wrong people, even more since her mind is all over the place and she really isn't in the right frame of mind to listen to what I would tell her.

"You still not told her?" I knew that he thought I should tell her, but he didn't know what was happening in her own life, so he couldn't possibly understand why I didn't want to tell her the truth.

"I have my reasons, Matthew. I wouldn't object to her murdering my father but, honestly, I would prefer to have you in one piece."

"Is this finally a friendship?" Matthew smirked triumphantly. "It only took, what, three and a half years?"

"I can easily take back what I just said," I called over my shoulder as I walked into the house with Matthew following behind me, a smile on both of our faces. My mother was doing her usual weeding to her flower beds, which I am sure that she loved more than loved myself, and my father was shouting at someone down the phone for not doing their job properly. Jason, as usual, was sitting around doing absolutely nothing, watching our parents from a distance with a slight look of amusement.

"You had come back and tell me that I have a niece on the way. I have something which I can't buy if she turns out to be a boy," Jason shouted after Matthew and I once we had walked out of the front door. He had told me that he didn't care whether he had a niece or a nephew, as long as they were healthy and I was happy, then he would happy and he would love them whatever their gender turned out to be.

"It would seem that everyone wants us to have a girl. Even my parents have told me that they want a granddaughter because my mother is sick of the boys."

"My parents haven't even spoken to me about it. They have been too busy planning a wedding which I don't want to even remember that I am pregnant with their grandchild." I wasn't sure that I was bothered that they didn't remember that they were going to be grandparents, I didn't want them in my life once the wedding when it was over with anyway, and if they thought anything other than that then they were bigger idiots than I ever thought them to be.

"I know it's hard, but don't let either of them get to you. The people who care about you and are there for you now, they are the ones which you need to be concerned with." Matthew gave my hand a reassuring squeeze and they were the last words which were spoken between either of us. We simply enjoyed the silence as Matthew drove to the hospital, his hand in my own providing a sense of warmth which I hadn't been expecting.

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