When I left with Louie and Serena, my mind was racing and before taking off, I had  looked at Marcus, seeking for something even though I didn't know what that was.

I'm confused, hurt and pissed off by his words, how can he just say something like that? Like it wasn't four years ago what ever we had– ended.

"Hey, you coming?" Serena calls out, I snap out of it and follow her onto the street, Louie behind us, I could tell he knew something had happened.

We race home and I have a frown across my face the rest of the night, I take a shower and take a moment to look at my scars.

Scars from racing and falling when trying stunts, crashes, assaults, nearly getting killed etc.

The bullet wound scar on my collarbone, my stab wounds. The scratches across my back and side and my arm, It all came with it.

I ran a hand over the bullet wound scar and closed my eyes, I was stupid that night.

It was my second year in college, we had just met Oscar and his crew, though it came to my attention pretty quickly what he wanted.

"I'm going to find your brothers and Marcus and then I will fucking kill them—they owe me" Oscar had snarled at me, his face screamed danger.

I stood in front of Serena and had originally blocked her from any harm.

"Go to hell" I spit at him. The side of my face was bleeding, from the crash on the bike, hell my entire side was bleeding from the crash, but no matter how injured I was, I would always step in to save Serena from any harm.

"I heard that you and Torres have unfinished business, is that right? He always whored around when we were in college, he always got the girls, he was always good—he never had to try" Oscar taunts.

I grab the gun from Serena's hands and I aim at him, trying to keep myself from crying.

"Ohhhh, I like how feisty and crazy you are" Oscar says with a darkened look in his eyes, he licked his lips and I felt a draining of strength, will and happiness. It drained me to be involved with this.

I was ready to break down, but the woman behind me was depending on me, her life was depending on my strength.

"Leave this town" I say and he starts laughing, he pulls out a gun of his own and I start shaking, I hadn't ever shot anyone before.

Never ever did I hope it would be necessary, all that training–I'd hoped it was for nothing.

"Oscar—" I was interrupted by him pulling the trigger.

My eyes widened as I felt a piercing sensation in my collar bone, I felt all air smashed out of me and I looked down.

Blood seeped through my shirt and Serena screamed as she saw and heard the guns go off.

I pulled the trigger, twice, hitting him in the side. He took off and I fell to the ground, in pain and weakness.

Serena and Louie immediately got me to the hospital. I had made enough money to pay them to keep it confidential, so they did.

It helped that our cousin Danny had become a doctor, she had taken control of it and handled it all.

Which is why Jake never found out.

I made it without complications and I moved on, thanks to Serena, Louie and Danny.

A tear fell from my eye, it rolled down my face and I took a deep breath before calming myself.

I walked out of my bathroom and saw Serena there, she bit her lip and I knew there was something she was fighting to tell me, so I pulled her into a hug.

"I want you to talk to Marcus" Serena said and I pulled away from her, like her words had physically hurt me.

"What?!"

"Hear him out, I think you should" Serena said and I stared at her blankly and quite much in disbelief.

Where did this come from?

"I can't, Rena" I say and frown. "Everyone thinks you two should talk—even Jake! Come on, who will it hurt?" Serena encourages me.

"Me! Serena! You don't think I'm fucking terrified of hearing why he fucking left me after he fucked me and took my virginity? I don't want to know—I don't want to hear him explain—or talk about it, okay?" I snapped at her.

Serena realized what I had been so terrified and cold hearted for, she knew it was because of him, but to be ditched like that by your first, and then ghosted—it does something to you.

Especially when it's your first real love.

"I can't—I can't do this again Serena—" I say, making up my mind, I shake my head no and Serena grabs my face in her hands.

"I won't ask you again—you don't have to, it's okay" She assured me and tried to maintain eye contact.

The dangerous thoughts and doubts ran with force into the back of my head.

"You're not good enough", "You're too young", "He's using you", "He's an asshole, it's what he does"

"He's fucking with my head—I can't do this again" I say and she nods, I slowly sink to the ground and she follows, holding me tightly.

I was weak, he made me weak. The heart he broke never healed, it was never pieced back together. No matter how many people tried.

"I hate him— I fucking hate him" I tell her and she nods, tears are rolling like a waterfall and she leans her head against mine.

The next couple of days I kept myself busy, I made sure everyone made money and fixed races.

We went to Santiago's multiple days in a row. I got drunk multiple days in a row and also resumed my bad habit of smoking.

"I'm sleeping with you tonight, right?" Louie asks me and I nod and swing my arm around his shoulders.

"Of course" I say and peck his cheek, he chuckles and I push him away before dancing with Serena again–laughing in the process as Louie smacks his lips at my brutal love.

"Hey guys!" Roy calls out and we wave at him. He comes up to me and leans into my ear.

"Jake's outside waiting for you—he says he needs to talk to you" Roy says and I frown.

Why didn't he just come in?

"Why?" I ask and Roy shrugs before leaving. "Alright, I'll be right back" I tell Serena and she nods before letting Tobias take over my spot.

I walk out of the club, but it's not Jake I see.

It's Marcus.

I scoff and roll my eyes before turning on my heel to abandon his horrible ass.

"Just stay for a second—please" I pause in my steps before turning to him, I cross my arms and nod at him to go on.

"I'm sorry for what I did—I have no excuses. I wasn't thinking—I was an asshole and I'm so fucking sorry, Alex" Marcus says and steps closer to me with each word.

"I don't care" I say and shrug, confusion and hurt fills his face and I chuckle dryly.

Mask it, hide it, forget it, the feeling of my throbbing shattered heart in my chest doesn't matter.

"It doesn't matter now" I add and scoff.

"What can I do to make it right? Please, Alex. Tell me what I can do to make it right. I miss talking to you—spending time with you, laughing with you—I can't stand this, you being around all the time and us not getting along—I-I- fuck I miss you!" Marcus rambled on, gripping his hair in frustration, his voice became higher as his desperation showed itself to me.

I would lie if I said it didn't send a knife to my heart, hearing him like this made my walls want to burst.

"There's nothing to do—you did this. You can't fix it, it's over. I'm over you– been for a long time" I say followed by a cold scoff from my throat.

Marcus scoffs in disbelief. "If you are really over it—you would be able to be friends with me and talk to me—but you're not" Marcus retorts.

"I am—""—Stop lying to me and to yourself, Alexandra. It's not over and you know it" Marcus adds.

His face is inches away from mine and I feel his breath on my skin–our eyes dominate for surrender—neither of us gives in.

"Don't you ever get tired of hearing yourself talk?" I retort and Marcus laughs dryly.

"See? You're turning to insults because you know I'm right" Marcus replies.

"Can I try something?" Marcus asks me and I scoff and eye him in disbelief.

"No? What did you expect—that I'd say yes?" I retort and glare at him.

"Just shut up and let me try something" he says and I just give him a dirty look, without warning–he grabs my face and smashes his lips onto mine.

I froze as I once again felt his familiar warm, soft and gentle lips on mine, they had a firmness in the kiss and I found myself kissing back, our tongues danced perfectly—finally reunited again.

It was horrible.

He backed me into the wall of the club, the cold wall hitting my bare back made me pull away and instinctively slap the side of his face.

"Fuck—don't do that again" I curse at him, he gives me a small smirk, victory dances on his lips and I feel myself sinking lower.

"Stay away from me" I snap at him, proceeding to place my hands on his chest and shove him back, to create a much needed space between us.

I hurry back inside, leaving Marcus' gaze staring holes in my back–I start to tear up as I make my way to find Micky.

He sees me before I see him and he comes to my side and pulls me into a hug, he knows, he always knows everything.

Micky held me as I fought to push my tears back in. "Wanna go for a ride?"

I found myself in the passenger seat of Micky's dodge, Micky glanced over at me every two minutes, I leaned my head back against the headrest of the seat.

I reached over and grabbed Micky's free hand, he shot me a small smile and squeezed my hand back.

The small act of sympathy and support made me breathe out in relief, Micky always got my back, if I had any problems, he was there.

No matter what it was, if it was guys that wanted more than I did, he got rid of them.

If it was girls that wanted more than I did, he got rid of them. If anyone tried to harm me, he became my personal bodyguard.

Everyone needs a Micky, though I'm just happy that I got to meet him–thank Tobias for that.

Micky had luck in love last year, so he did find a boyfriend, his name is Evan. They're doing long distance but they both insist that it's working.

As long as Micky is happy, I'm happy.