Kaillie's POV (not edited)

After he left Abby's house on Sunday, I only really saw glimpses of him. He seemed to be avoiding me, giving me space. And I was kind of avoiding him, honestly. After all, I put us in this position in the first place. Me and my drunken thoughts that turned into actions. I saw faces across the room, and looks constantly passed between us in the hallways. It wasn't like he seemed to be indifferent and cold, he didn't seem to be mad or anything. He just didn't specifically seem to want to talk to me or hangout. When he would smile at me, the light would only take over half his eyes, not light up the whole of them up with the usual deep blue color that is as endless as an ocean and so easy to get lost in.

This is my fault. I kissed him. I put us here, in this awkward position. And I don't really know what to do. I kissed him while I was drunk. But he kissed me back, so what does that say? How does one move on from this?

In my experience, usually, when people have crushes, they prefer for them not to be revealed, at least until they are ready, and especially not in a drunken kiss they couldn't control. Drunk people lack control. Why did I put myself in this position? And why does this make me nervous? Carter is my best friend, I'm usually vulnerable with him. But I guess never this vulnerable. Carter has always been in my heart, but this discovery of liking him, and then kissing him, seems to have given my heart to him, or at least a piece, without me even realizing it.

It's almost like this whole thing is making a chaotic storm in my brain, making me feel like I'm getting some sort of headache because my brain is going so hyperactive over this.

When I step into my front door after hanging out with Abby, I walk into find my house smelling of wonderful aromas and my mother cooking up a storm in the kitchen. The warm brown colours of my kitchen match the warm atmosphere the cooking brings, the smells of love, hard work and delicious food waiting to be eaten later.

"Hey Mom," I say, setting down my bag on the floor before sitting on one of the breakfast stools at our breakfast bar. It takes a minute before my mom notices me, as if she's so in her own world that she didn't notice me walk in and join her.

"Oh hi honey," she greets me kindly, smiling at me before she tilts her head back down to the food she's preparing. "How was your day?"

"My day was good, how was yours?" I reply, and it was. I just keeping missing Carter's presence. This awkwardness needs to be overcome soon, I just don't know how to do that. But I need this awkwardness to be over soon, almost as if so I can have him back or something.

"Oh you know, the usual," she jokes about her work. It seems like she got home early today, so it must not have been too busy. Either that or she really wanted to start cooking whatever thing she's making, which by the way, smells delicious. She must have noticed my slight change of expression though, because she asks me what's wrong.

"Nothing," I say,  but the look she gives me says that she knows that isn't the truth.

"Is this about Carter?" she asks, seemingly innocently.

"What makes you say that?" I try my best to calmly ask her why she would think that as my mind goes into hyperdrive. Does she know what happened? And if so, how does she know, because I didn't tell her. The questions keep popping up as I wait for her to consider her next words and finish washing the lettuce gently in the sink, or at least the portion she has in her hand.

"Well, you haven't been hanging out with him as much as you usually do. I usually at least hear of it so I know where you are, and he hasn't been brought up. At all, in fact. And when I bumped into Heather at the grocery store, she said that he's been acting funny too, and she hadn't seen you around their house either lately. Is there something I should know about?" she finishes her slight interrogation with a question. So Carter has been different too, like I have, and his mom had noticed too? My real question though, is do I tell her?

That answer is a probable yes. She'll find out if I don't tell her anyway. Possibly even from Carter's mom herself, considering how close they can be.

I hesitate, but I start talking anyway. "So do you remember when I went out with Carter and Abby and then slept over at her house that night?"

"Yeah, that wasn't too long ago, right?" she asks as she chops up the lettuce for the salad she's making.

"That's right. Anyway, we ended up going over to Carter's friend's house for a party, and I had a little too much to drink and ended up kissing Carter. Hence the current awkwardness and avoidance," I finish quickly, still wondering how I'm going to relieve the said current awkwardness between us. The first step is probably to stop avoiding him and go talk to him in the hallways as opposed to running away type thing.

"So you kissed him while you were drunk?" she asks skeptically, forcing me to slowly nod. Her expression says that this is not a big deal, or maybe that she expected it somehow. But how and why would she expect me to kiss Carter while I was drunk? "Honey, people do things they wouldn't normally do all the time while they're drunk. It isn't a big deal," she explains, but after she looks at my expression, her tone changes slightly. "Unless it is a big deal?"

When I don't really say anything she takes it as it is sort of a big deal. A big awkward deal that I put myself and Carter into.

"Ah," she exclaims, as if she is seeing the light. "Does anyone else know about your feelings for him?"

Internally, and maybe a little externally, I cringe at the way she says it. According to my mind, this is not anything new, it's only new that I have figured it out, and I'd rather keep it on the down low. "Abby does," I say quietly, but she still hears it.

"So it's a secret, I take it?" she questions me, lowering her voice slightly, not that there's anyone listening anyway.

"Yes Mom, so please don't be embarrassing about it," I make out the words urgently. "Besides, I've liked guys before."

She shrugs and then says, "That may be so, but it's never been one of your best friends before."

The way she say it shocks me back into reality, the fact that if I go for it, and it ends badly, I could lose a lot. But isn't that the trade off in all potential relationships that start from a strong friendship? "And what do you suggest I do, my all knowing mother?" I ask, unsure of what she is suggesting.

"Don't you remember it," she winks before saying, "And I suggest you go for it."

"You do?" I exclaim. The thoughts that surround my brain keep popping up and asking what happens if it doesn't work out. Where would we go from there?

"Of course I do. Because if you don't go for it, you'll never know the answer, and the awkwardness will always stand, it will always be echoing off the walls in your head, asking, wondering, thinking. You need to take the chance and see where you land. And if it fails, it is much less time consuming to move on, and just be friends with him. Honey, you just have to jump," she finishes, amazing me with her metaphors and her message, that I just need to go for it, take the risk, and not be concerned about the potential fallout.

"When did you get all metaphorical, mom?" I ask, my brain tripping with thoughts for tomorrow.

"I always was, honey, you just haven't taken that much notice before now," she says, coming around the breakfast bar to kiss me on the top of my head and give me a hug, as if I'm just a little girl all over again.

*~*~*

So the next day at lunch, I walk outside in an attempt to find Carter and brave the awkwardness. But much to my disappointment, I find he has company. He's sitting in the alleyway on the outside of the school talking to Sara about something. I stand there for a moment, trying to figure it out. They look like they're having a civil conversation, not yelling at each other as I've previously seen since they broke up last year. No smug words, bitter expressions on their faces. In fact, it looks as though they're having a conversation about something very important. Guess I'll have to save my brave for another time, I think as I turn and walk away. I'm sure I'll talk to him soon.

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Sorry I took so long to update guys! Writer's block sucks, and school's been pretty busy, especially with the fact that this past Thursday was my prom :) I hope all is well with all of you :)

How did you guys like the chapter? I hope you guys enjoyed it! What do you think of Kaillie's conversation with her mom? Do you agree with what her mom had to say? What do you think will happen next? Do you remember hints from the last chapter?

Question: If you were in Kaillie's position, would you tell one of your parents, even if it wasn't right away? Or would you let it play out on your own, despite the potential questioning from your parent(s)?

Also, can you guys think of a song to go with this chapter? I'm struggling, struggling :P

Hopefully the next chapter should come sooner, considering writer's block is not currently clouding my mind. It should be interesting :3Please VOTE, COMMENT and FAN!

Until next time lovelies,

~Talia :D

Just a little btw, Prom is very fun! My tip is to try your best not to have/be involved with the evitable drama that happens though :)