My hand swings back instantly and connects with Jason's cheek, leaving a satisfying smack sound and a red mark that is already beginning to appear.

His face contorts in pain, and his hand instinctively reaches up to cradle his face.

My own hands fly to my mouth, covering my shocked expression.

"I'm so sorry." I say.

"No, it's okay. I probably deserved that." He replies, cheek still covered. Although, not enough as the red is creeping out from under his hand placement.

I nod my head, agreeing that he certainly deserved it. Although, I certainly didn't mean for it to be that hard.

"Why?" I ask.

Jason looks confused as he replies, "huh? Why what?"

"Why me?" I cry, "why this? Why can't you just be happy with Natalie. She loves you Jason. Don't you see that?"

He sighs loudly, "I was never happy with Natalie. It's you, it's always been you. Ever since we were seven years old sitting side by side on the swing sets. I'm in love with you Jade. I couldn't keep it in anymore. I care about Natalie, don't think that I don't, even for a second. Because I do, I really care about her, but I couldn't lie to her anymore. I'm sorry."

I am appalled, absolutely shocked. First because I have clearly been too oblivious to notice this. Second, because I can't believe he likes me. Why me over Natalie? Why couldn't she be enough for him?

"If you cared so much about her, then why did you date her in the first place?" I question.

He takes a deep breath before answering, "I dated her to get closer to you."

My hand once again makes connection with his face in a loud slap.

"You don't do that you stupid idiot," I yell at him, "You don't date a girl to get close to her best friend. Do you even realize how wrong that is? Especially to Natalie. She is vulnerable, she fell in love with y--"

"Dammit Jade, you didn't let me finish." Jason says, cutting me off, and once again holding his face in pain.

"There cannot possibly be a good explanation for this. You simply don't do that,"  I state, but calmer this time, not yelling like I previously had been.

When I see Jason's face drop I feel a pang of sympathy. I smacked him, twice, I should at least hear him out, "but, go ahead, explain." I tell him, sighing.

His face lifts slightly, and he proceeds to tell me the story.

"When we were younger, we were best friends Jade. We did everything together. Ever since we met when we were seven like I said, I had liked you. Back then it was just a school boy crush, but there was still feelings. As we got older we remained close still, and my feelings just kept growing stronger, but I didn't know exactly how to explain them. I was still a kid. I didn't know what love was. When we entered grade nine, we drifted a bit. Every year we drifted more and this year we just stopped talking all together. When we just ended all means of communication I started to miss you like crazy. I didn't know what to do, or what to think. That's when I realized, that deep down the feelings had never gone away, they just got stronger. That's when I realized I loved you." Jason pauses for a moment, gauging my reaction. I am shocked, but I keep that on the inside. I am careful to not let him get to me. He shakes his head and continues, "when I finally came to that conclusion, I didn't know what to do. I had fallen in love with you and had not a clue as to how you felt about me. So, when I realized that the only way to get close to you is to spend time with you, I went to Natalie. You guys became instant best friends and were never without eachother. I knew she liked me, so I went after her. The whole time I was with her though, all I could think about was you. I just wanted to be with you. I never had strong feelings for her, how could I when I loved you? She became a good friend to me, but that's all I can see Natalie as. Last night, I couldn't take it anymore. The way Blaze had his eyes on you, how gorgeous you looked, I went crazy. I couldn't hold it back anymore. That's why I kissed you."

I intake a sharp breath, taking all of this new information in.

Jason likes me.

He has always liked me.

He went through my best friend to get to me.

My best friend fell in love with him, while he was in love with someone else.

That someone else, was me.

Now I am confused. I don't know what to do. All of these emotions and feelings are swirling around in my head, messing with my mind.

"I think you should go." I say, staring down at my pillow, my voice cracking.

"But Ja-" he protests.

"Just, leave. Please." I say, feeling tears swarming in my eyes, clouding over my vision.

Jason stands up, beginning to leave my room. He turns around once more and starts to talk, "just know that I never meant to hurt Natalie. I never meant to hurt you. I just needed to be honest."

I nod my head, ever so slowly, continuing to stare at my pillow.

Jason nods his head, taking in my silence.

He looks at the ground once, then walks silently out the door.

The second he leaves I drive my head into my pillow and let it all out. All of the tears, all of the emotions I am feeling. All of them, everything,  swirled into the pillow staining it with fat droplets of tears. I cry for reasons which I don't have answers to. I cry for unknown things. I cry, because at the moment, it seems like it may be the only thing I can do.

***

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-Maxine<3