☄️ Ep.18: Land Before Swine ☄️
~~~~~~~~~Third Person POV~~~~~~~~~
"Finally, Waddles, we have the whole house to ourselves!" Mabel said as she looked out the window, seeing Stan with a group of tourists. She then hopped onto the ground, looking down at her pig. "What do you think? Dance party?"
Waddles oinked at her, making the girl smile. "I'm not hearing a no!!"
That entire morning, they spent it together dancing, singing, eating, and having fun like all best friends do. They both ended up on the ground exhausted after all of it happened.
That's when Stan walked into the gift shop, counting the amount of money he had gained before tripping over Mabel and Waddles as he let out a scream of surprise. "Mabel?! What are ya doing on the floor?!"
"Being cute and great!!" She replied, squishing her and Waddles' faces together.
"And I thought your brother was weird."
"No, he's more like.." She put on one of the pine tree caps that were on the shelf, changing her voice to sound like his. "Ahh!! Let's solve a mystery!! I kiss a pillow with Wendy's face drawn on it!!" She paused for a moment, tapping her chin in thought. "Or (y/n)'s, I really don't know how he feels anymore."
Stan still laughed. "That's pretty good, kissin' a pillow."
He then felt something tugging on the end of his pants, seeing Waddles chewing them.
"Go, go!! Chew that pant leg!!" Mabel cheered, raising her arms.
"Ugh!!" He raised his leg and yanked the pig away, who tore off a piece of his pants as he walked over to a window. "Alright! Outside! Now!"
"NO!" Mabel ran over, taking Waddles in her arms. "Grunkle Stan, it's not safe for Waddles outside!! There's predators!! And barbecuers!!"
"That's just the natural order! It's not my fault your pig's potentially delicious!"
"He should be inside like a person!"
"People don't roll around in their own filth! Except for Soos."
"And we're the lesser for it! Maybe we're the ones who should be put outside, huh? Huh?! Think about it!" And with a huff, she left the room.
Meanwhile, not too far from the shack, Dipper and Soos stood on the top of some trees, tying cameras around the place.
"Today's the day, Soos!" Dipper said with a smile. "Thanks for coming along on this mission!"
"Dude, it's an honor! Today I'm sweating from heat and excitement!!" He wiped off some of the sweat.
"Something's hiding in these woods, something big enough to rip the roof off a car! If we get a photo of this thing we'll be heroes!"
"Yeah, and we'll get all the babes!! You'll be fending off smooches with a stick!!"
Dipper chuckled. "Shut up, man."
"With a stick, dude!"
Truth be told, part of this was so he could try to impress (y/n). That's why he didn't invite her this time, he wanted to prove he can do something great on his own.
Well, with Soos around.
"Give me a boost." As told, Soos picked up and met him place the rest of the camera.
Soos slid down to a lower branch, his hand unfortunately getting touching a bit of sap from the tree. Ugh, is sap supposed to me this sticky?"
"If everything goes according to plan the creature will grab that steak, cross through the string, and set of cameras A, B, and C!" Dipper explained, making Soos smile.
"And nothing can go wrong!! High five!!"
Without hesitation, Dipper high fived his hands, which due to the sap, got stuck together.
"... this was poorly planned."
Just then, a big gush of wind made us cover our eyes as we hear the cameras snap, followed by a roar. Dipper immediately grew a smile, had his plan succeeded?!
Meanwhile at another part of the shack, (y/n) sat on the roof, reading a book. Just then Leo came flying over, his wing had fully been healed, so he could fly wherever he could.
Of course, he didn't do it so often since people might see and hunt him down.
"Do you usually spend your time alone in the roof?" He asked as he stood beside her.
She was about to answer when she noticed the clothes he was wearing, a sudden pain filling her chest.
That jacket..
...
"This one!"
"That looks stupid."
"I know, it reminds me of you!"
"Hey!!"
There was laughter around. He held the jacket in his hands, a smile on his face as he looked down at it. "Seriously though, I like it, I think it suits me."
"You do love blue." She replied. "You think Mom will let you buy it?"
"Our birthday's coming up soon, and I don't really know anything else I want."
"Jacket it is then!"
...
"Earth to (y/n)!!"
"H-Huh?!" She rapidly shook her head, snapping back to reality. "Y-Yeah, I'm fine."
"You sure?"
She looked at the jacket once more, gripping the book in her hands. "... why are you wearing that."
He looked down at himself, his expression falling a bit since he already knew who it belonged to. "Your mom gave it to me, she says she'll buy some clothes for me when she's able to, but for now I could wear these."
"Mm.."
There were a few seconds of silence, and he let out a sigh as he sat down. "I'm sorry, I know it's still a sensitive topic.."
"It's fine, it just took me by surprise.."
"Well you called your beaver after him, does that mean you've been able to talk about it?"
She stayed quiet, biting her lip.
"... does anyone even know about him?"
Again, there was silence, and he knew his answer. "(y/n), you haven't told anyone here about it?!"
"It's difficult, okay?! It's hard for me!"
"They're gonna find out eventually though!"
"I know that, I just-!" Another pause, and then she took a deep breath. "I just need some time.."
Secrets were secrets for a reason, but the truth will always come out one day, usually in explosive ways.
It was worrying..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mabel sat on the living room floor, watching tv as she made Waddles a red sweater with her face on it.
"Hey you!"
"Me?" She looked at the TV in confusion as the man in the commercial spoke.
"Sick of constantly dropping your baby?"
"Yes!" Cried a man in the commercial.
"Hi, I'm Bobby Renzobbi! And what you need is the Huggy Wuvvy Tummy Bundle!"
"I can hold ten babies at once!"
"I know what you're thinking: Does it work for pigs? Ah ha ha, yeah it does work for pigs, stupid! Feel your pig's heartbeat next to yours! It works for piiiiiiiiiiiiiiigs!!"
Mabel let out a gasp in surprise. "Grunkle Stan, I'm off to get a Huggy Wuvvy Tummy Bundle!!"
He rolled his eye. "Yeesh, isn't knitting matching sweaters for that pig enough?"
"... Nope!" She picked up Waddles, looking at him. "I need you to look after this little gentleman while I'm gone."
Waddles stared up at him before eating a fly that flew nearby, making Stan groan in disgust. "Not now, kid, I got some tourists coming through."
"Grunkle Stan, I know you're not crazy about Waddles."
"He's a fat, naked, jerk."
"But you do care about me. Promise me you won't let him outside..?" She tilted her head, giving him her best smile.
With another groan, he gave in. "Fine, yeah yeah, I promise."
"Thanks, Grunkle Stan!" She then ran out of the house to get her pig a present.
Stan looked at Waddles with a glare, pointing at him. "I'm watching you, pig.."
He simply touched his finger, making Stan groan again..
Unfortunately for Stan, Waddles was gonna continue to be himself, and ate one of his attractions, making the group of tourists leave in annoyance. He glared at the pig before picking him up and walking outside.
"Just ten minutes without this pig in the house." He spoke to himself as he tied Waddles to a peg. "Is that so much to ask?"
He hammered the peg to the ground. "There. Mabel asks, this never happened." Standing back up, he placed his hands on his hips, mocking Mabel. "Oh but Grunkle Stan it's not safe out there! There's predators! Oh brother."
Out of nowhere, a large creature swooped down from the skies, grabbing Waddles and flying away as the pig shrieked.
Oh no..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"C'mon, c'mon..!" Dipper had transformed his bedroom into a black room for the pictures.
He lifted up the second picture, which soon revealed a peculiar sight. "That's a wing! If camera B got the wing, then the one that should have gotten the rest is... camera C!"
He ran over to another picture being developed. As it started to appear, Soos opened the door, the room being showered with light. "Who wants victory nachos?!"
"NO!!" Dipper picked up the photo, looking at it in disappointment as it faded away.
"Dude, don't worry. I only ate like a third of them. Half of 'em." He started to laugh. "I ate all of them, dude!"
A small glare grew on his face, looking at Soos. "I can't believe you, man!"
"Sorry, dude, I was just so excited! Nachos cause excitement!"
He let out a heavy sigh. "Soos, no offense, but you've gotta be more careful sometimes! I mean, what are the odds we'll ever get another picture of-!"
Just then, Dipper was cut off by a roar outside. Both of them ran out to see Stan staring to a big, winged creature flying away, along with (y/n) and Leo running over with wide eyes.
"Dude, that was a dinosaur, bro!!!" Soos pointed out, a huge smile on his face.
Dipper only stared in pure shock. "How is it possible a dinosaur survived 65 million years?!?"
"Did you see that Mr. Pines?!? Mr. Pines?"
"It- it took him!" Stan replied, eyes glued to where the creature left.
"Took who?!" (y/n) asked for everyone.
"The pig! It took Waddles!"
"What'd you say about Waddles?" Mabel asked as she peddled back on her bike, her usual smile on her face.
Everyone else though, they simply stayed in the awkward silence, wondering who was gonna tell her.
"Woah, awkward silence! ... BWAHHHHH!!!" She hopped off of her bike. "What's going on? Why are you standing around all awkwardly?" She looked around, her expression growing a little worried. "And where's Waddles?"
Stan stumbled on his words for a while. "Um... uh... the good news is: you're getting a puppy!!"
"What happened?!"
"Well- see- um- when the-"
"The pig got eaten by a pterodactyl, bro!!" Soos yelled, Mabel immediately going into panic.
"WHAT?!? WADDLES?!? WADDLES!!! Where did he go?!? How did this happen?!?" She turned to her uncle. "Grunkle Stan, you didn't put him outside?!?"
He let out a forced laugh. "W-what?!? No, I didn't put him anywhere!!! I'm not acting suspicious!!! You're acting suspicious!!! What's a pig?!?"
Leo turned to him. "Then what exactly happened?"
"Uh, look, it went down like this, see?!? So there I was, in the living room, tenderly nursing him with only the richest of creams!!! When all of a sudden, the creature came bursting through the door and took Waddles!!! So I said: Ahhhh, no dice, cowboy!!! and start punching him right in the face!!! But he played dirty!!! That really happened!!!" He began to cry after finishing his story.
Mabel walked over, hugging him. "Grunkle Stan, you tried to save him!!!"
"Oh yep, I'm a... great man alright."
"You punched a pterodactyl in the face? I thought you didn't even believe in the supernatural!" Dipper asked.
"Dinosaurs aren't magic, they're just big lizards!!! Get off my back!!!"
Mabel pulled away, taking out a picture of her and her pig from her sweater pocket, tears running down her face. "Oh... Waddles..."
A determined glare soon grew on Dipper's face. "That's it, no pterodactyl messes with my sister! We're gonna go out there, catch him, and save your pig!! For Mabel, guys!!"
"For Mabel!!" The others repeated.
Except for Stan, who looked down at him in question. "But how do we even find the little guy?!"
"We follow that!!!" Mabel said as she pointed at some red string that went through the forest, everyone cheering.
Stan, however, just wasn't feeling the rescue. "Or, you know, we could just call it a day, maybe hit the pool hall, or..."
Everyone turned to him in silence, to which he finally gave in. "... yeah, let's go save Woggels!!!"
"Waddles."
"Him too!"
Not long had passed when they had packed a bunch of things that they thought would help in this dinosaur hunt.
At the moment, Soos was spray painting something to the car. "Alright, that pterodactyl won't know what hit him!"
"Huh, it's pterodactyl, man." Dipper corrected, adjusting a few things.
"Actually, nobody knows how to pronounce it because no one was alive in dinosaur days so uh-" He suddenly tinkered with something underneath the car causing it to move just a bit, taking out his head before the car rode over him. "Woah, I almost ran over my own head there!!" He let out a laugh, his expression turning into one of mild panic at the second thought of it. "Wow.."
Somethings was nagging Dipper about this, walking over to where Mabel, (y/n), and Leo were packing a few extra things. "Guys, we've gotta talk. This is a really high-stakes mission and I'm a little worried about Soos along on this one.."
"That's kinda harsh, dude.." (y/n) pointed out.
Dipper rubbed the back of his neck. "Don't get me wrong, I love the guy, but sometimes he messes stuff up.."
"What? Since when?" Mabel asked.
"Well...." (y/n) began. "There was that time he broke our crystal ball.."
"Or that time he was trying to fix the window but ended up breaking all the glass instead?" Leo added.
"Or when he killed that fairy outside our window." Dipper said with a shrug.
Mabel thought for a while, cringing a bit. "... let him off easy.."
In the end, he didn't have the heart to do so, and Soos went with them. The red string led them to a small abandoned building. It went inside so they got out of the car, walking into the dangerous looking shed. Once inside, the yarn led down a big hole and at the other side was...
Mabel tilted her head. "Old Man McGucket?"
"Howdy, friends!!!"
(y/n) crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow. "What are you doing out here?"
"You'll never believe me!!! So I was doing my hourly hootenanny!"
"Ugh, this guy." Stan groaned at the strange man's dance.
"When this enormous wingly critter stole my musical spoons and flew lickety-split into the abandoned mines down yonder!!!"
They all looked down at the dark abyss, feeling the cold air that made them shiver.
Stan was the first to back away. "Looks kinda hairy down there.."
"C'mon, Grunkle Stan, you can handle it!!!" Mabel said with a smile. "You punched a pterodactyl in the face, remember?!?"
"Oh yeah, hehe, I did do that, didn't I..?!" Am awkward laugh escaped his lips.
"My, what suspicious laughter!!!"
Mabel looked at the hole once more, determination clear on her face. "Guys, we're going in."
McGucket smiled at them. "Need someone to tag along and tell weird personal stories?!?"
"No thanks!!!" Stan blurted out.
Leo could've easily flown down, and (y/n) could've casted a simple spell, but with Stan and Soos around, they couldn't risk showing their magical side.
Instead, the tied a rope to the building, throwing the other end into the pit, and began to climb down. Stan had started to argue with McGucket over his signs, when they all tensed up at the sound of the rope breaking.
It only took a few seconds until it broke, all of them falling deeper into the dark pit. To their good luck, the floor wasn't that far, and they safely landed on some large mushrooms.
They all looked around after the panic from falling had died down, their eyes widening at the paradise that stood down here.
"This plants like all Jurassic-y..!!" Dipper spoke in awe.
Soos laughed as he pointed at a flower. "This little guy smells like battery acid!" He sniffed it ones more, soon gagging. "Looks like I lost my sense of smell!"
"How has no one found this place yet..?!" (y/n) asked, pointing the flashlight around.
Dipper looked over. "Don't know, hopefully no one's noticed.."
Even through its beauty, Mabel simply looked at the picture in her hands. "Oh, Waddles..."
Leo placed a hand on her shoulder, giving her the best comforting smile he could give. "Don't worry, Mabel, we're gonna find him.."
They walked deeper into the mine shaft, and after a long while off walking, Dipper's lantern illuminated a room that left everyone in shock.
Inside were all kinds of dinosaurs, all trapped in a strange amber tone sap.
"They're all trapped inside tree sap..!!"
"That's how they survived 65 million years..!!" (y/n) continued Dipper's sentence.
They all noticed a small area in which it had started to melt, Dipper raising an eyebrow. "The summer heat must be melting them loose..!"
"We might wanna be careful in here then.." Leo suggested, the others nodding in agreement.
Stan, however, had other plans. "Holy moly!!! Forget the Cornecorn!!! This is the attraction of a lifetime!!! I could bring people down here and turn this into some sort of theme park!!! Jurassic Sap Hole!!!
"Uh, dudes..?!" Soos pointed at a velociraptor who's finger had been freed from the sap, which twitch around a bit.
(y/n) cringed a bit. "Alright, time to keep moving.."
"This could be a gold mine!!!" Stan continued to speak to himself. "Velvety rope type deal there, ticket booth here, ha!!! I should've put that pig outside ages ago!!!"
Mabel's eyes suddenly widened. "Wait, what did you just say..?!"
Realizing his mistake, he began to tumble on his words. "Mm, what's that?"
"You said the dinosaur flew into the house!!"
"N-No, wait, if you think about it-!!!
"You out Waddles outside then you lied to me about it!!! And now, thanks to you, my pig could be dead!!! Waddles could be dead!!!
"Look, he's an animal, he belongs outside!!!"
"No, that's it!!! Grunkle Stan, I am never ever speaking to you again!!!"
"Look, you can't be serious!!"
"Oh, is someone talking right now, because I can't hear them!!!"
"Kid-!!!"
"Lalalalalala!!! I can't hear anyone, no one's talking to me!!!" Covering her ears as tears fell down her face, she turned her back to everyone.
Soos was just trying to calm everyone down. "Guys guys, don't fight! Why can't you be more like me and Dipper? Look, everything's gonna be cool!" He picked up the yarn and started twirling it. "All we gotta do to find a pig is follow this here yarn! We just keep following and following and when we reach the end-!" He stopped when he noticed that he had twirled all of the yarn back to him. "Uh oh. Which- which cave was it again?"
"Ugh, Soos, you lost the trail!!!" Dipper complained, glaring at him.
"Hey, c'mon, we'll find our way! Trust me!" He slapped Dipper's back in a friendly manner, but it caused him go drop the lantern which broke on the floor. "... sorry, dude."
"Ugh, that is it!!! See, this is why I didn't want to bring you along!!!"
Soos's expression quickly fell at Dipper's words. "Huh what- what do you mean..?"
"I mean this is really important to Mabel and you keep screwing everything up!!! You ruined our photograph, and now you've got us hopelessly lost!!!"
"But we're pterodactyl bros..! I made t-shirts..!"
"It's pronounced pterodactyl!!! And these shirts are useless!!! They're gigantic!!!"
A glare soon grew on Soos's face. "I have a different body type, dude!!!"
"Oh, so it's my fault?!?"
Leo covered his ears as (y/n) growled at the nose, seeing the lantern broken on the floor. Taking it in her hands, she looked at Leo, who stood beside her to block her from the others' view, casting a small fixing spell.
When she raised the lantern, she noticed the face of a creature staring directly at them, her heart falling to her stomach as she quickly covered her mouth.
Leo grabbed her arm, pulling her back as he walked to where everyone was, whispering. "Everyone shhhh!!"
They all looked over, growing pale at the sight of the pterodactyl.
"Nobody make any sudden movements or loud noises..." McGucket said; there was pure silence in the room as everyone held their breaths. Not that it lasted for long. "YeeHA!!! We found a pterodactyl!!!"
Letting out a loud roar, the pterodactyl started chasing them as they ran. They stopped at the edge of a cliff, and hid behind a couple of rocks as the pterodactyl flew away.
"Guys, we need a plan to get out of here!" (y/n) pointed out.
Stan thought for a bit. "Okay okay, how's about Mabel knit Soos a pig costume-"
"I like it!"
"And we use Soos as a human sacrifice!"
"I like it!" Soos blindly agreed.
"What do you say, Mabel?"
She only looked away with a huff, making Stan frown. "Aw, c'mon, you can't stop talking to me forever!"
"Yeah, Mabel, we have to work together here!"
Soos got angry at Dipper's sentence. "Oh, what, you wanna work with Mabel but not your buddy Soos?!"
Again they began to argue, but Mabel's eyes widened as she heard a nearby oink. "Wait, did you hear that..?!"
Everyone looked over, seeing Waddles in a huge nest only a bridge away. Mabel smiled widely in joy, screaming his name and starting to run over.
"Are you nuts?!?" Stan screaming as he ran after her, but she didn't stop for anyone.
"Oh, is someone speaking?!? Because I can't hear anything!!!"
"Oh no!!! She's gone deaf with fear!!!"
"Mabel, come back here!!!"
They all followed Mabel across the bridge as she wrapped Waddles in a tight embrace. Beside her was a massive egg and at the other side were skeleton bones.
She then took out what she bought earlier and put it on Waddles. However, there was a shadow soon hovering above them, Waddles let out a shriek Of fear before he ran into Stan, both falling into the ravine.
They all hid behind the nest, seeing Stan's hat fall in front of them, only feeling panic. Mabel peeled down, then looked at the others. "Guys, we've gotta save them!!!"
Dipper turned to McGucket. "McGucket, do you have an invention that can distract the pterodactyl?!"
"Do I?!?" He took off his hat, looking inside. "... Nope!!!"
After a few minutes of thinking, there was a crack heard in the egg. They all tensed up, waiting a few seconds when a baby pterodactyl popped out of the egg with a squeak.
"Aww!!!" Mabel cooed, about to pet the creature when Leo pulled her away from it.
"I wouldn't-"
"Well, welcome to the world, little fel-" McGucket was cut off as the baby bit and swallowed him whole, the rest of them screaming in terror.
A bit later, the pterodactyl spit out McGucket's hat as McGucket popped his head out. It wasn't long since the baby pterodactyl swallowed him again, then looked at the others as they backed away.
"What do we do?!? What do we do?!?" Dipper asked in panic.
Soos's eyes soon showed determination. "We have to get in a straight line."
"What?!?"
"A pterodactyl's eyes are so far apart that if you stand right in front of it, it can't see you!"
"Soos, you've been wrong about stuff all day!! How can we-?!"
"Dude, look, I-I know I've messed up a lot, I could be sorta clumsy, and it's not always as lovable as I think, but please, as my friend, just trust me on this one!"
Dipper looked at his friend, then at the baby, then at the others. As scared as he was, this was the only option they had, so he nodded.
Soos stood up. "Get behind me, dudes."
They all stood behind him as told, and did the exact same things he did. Soos planned worked, to their surprises, and made it to the other side safe and sound, hiding behind the same rocks from earlier, letting out a sigh of relief.
As they congratulated Soos, they heard a roar and looked up. They all stared in confusion.
"Was that.. Stan?!?" Mabel asked in disbelief, seeing her uncle on the back of the large pterodactyl, punching its face with Waddles on his back. "WADDLES!!!"
"He's punching him in the face!!!" Dipper said with a smile.
"From axe heart, I stab at thee!!!" Stan punched the pterodactyl's head causing it to crash into the ravine's wall as Stan barely got off him, then he climbed up holding Waddles in his arms.
They all ran over, Stan looking at Mabel as he softly waved Waddles's hoof around. "Here's your pig, kiddo."
"Waddles!!!" She took her pig, giving him a big hug as Stan took his fez hat off her head. She then looked up at him with a smile. "You saved him for me...!!!"
"Yeah, well, sometimes you just gotta- LOOK OUT!!!"
The pterodactyl had flown back, chasing them as they all ran away to the exit. Finally making it to the exit hole, they remember that the rope was broken!
That's when they noticed the water geysers, and Dipper had the idea to let it launch them up to the surface. But it was taking too long and the pterodactyl was really close. Soos punched the geyser causing the water to launch us up to safety, also causing the roof to break.
None of them were injured, simply soaked from the geyser. They all walked out of the shed, Mabel rubbing over to Stan. "I can't believe you did all that for Waddles!!"
"Oh well, can't have my favorite niece not talking to me." He leaned his hand against a tree, not noticing the sap on it. "And if I got to leap onto a pterodactyl and punch him in the face, then that's what I gotta do!"
"That's kinda sappy."
"Oh what, that's how I feel!"
"No, I mean-" She pointed at his hand.
Stan pulled his hand away in realization. "Oh yeah." He then pressed his hand to Mabel's face and laughed. "Gotcha!!!"
However, the both grew nervous as he tried to pull his hand away. "... uh oh."
"AHHHH-"
~~~~~~~~~Your POV~~~~~~~~~
Stan and Mabel were asleep on the back of the car, Leo sitting beside Mabel, and Soos, Dipper, and I in the front.
I noticed Mabel's head fall on Leo's shoulders, his cheeks growing pink. I snickered, and he glared at me. Not gonna lie, I kinda ship those two.
Dipper took off his best. "Check it out, that thing destroyed my vest!"
"I can fix it later, Pinetree."
"Thanks, (y/n)." He then looked down, his eyes widening as he pulled something out. "Guys!!! Look!!!"
"A real dinosaur tooth?!? That's awesome!!!" Soos said in excitement.
I softly poked the end of it. "Real life treasure!!"
"Yeah, but it wasn't as awesome as Soos saving us back there." He offered a fist bump to him. "Pterodactyl bros?"
"Pterodactyl bros!"
"Boosh!" They fist bumped.
"So you guys do on adventures like these all the time?" I heard Leo ask.
Dipper shrugged. "Yeah, basically."
Something told me many adventures were yet to be done.
Thanks for reading!!! 'Till next time!!!
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