**The night after Grant kissed Zephyrine (After chapter 5/Taken Off-Guard).**

Grant

Every noise I hear sounds like an explosion. I twist and turn and close my eyes, but my body refuses to stop. My mind apparently decided it was running a marathon tonight. I'm too curious and excited to sleep. Will she remember? Will she still want to go through with it? I grab a pillow and squeeze it over my face, as if the reason I can't sleep is because it's too bright. I know it has everything to do with her proposition. I give up trying to sleep and walk into the bathroom. I strip out of my clothes and get into the steaming hot shower, hoping it will ease my mind.

She wants me to take her virginity? My thoughts repeat for the hundredth time.

I hope she remembers, because I want this. I've had this desire to kiss Rinnie that I'm really sick of ignoring and it only seems to deepen as we get older. I never hold back but since Rinnie is a friend I've made an exception. Maybe it's finally time to give in and be the careless person I've always been. I would love to cure my curiosity. Rinnie is so hott, and she wouldn't expect anything from me that I can't give her, like a relationship. I can't think of a more perfect scenario. I hear Rinnie saying, "Just sex, no strings." Not to mention, I wouldn't have to worry about killing anyone for taking her virginity. I have a strong gut feeling I wouldn't like her choice of suitor. If I'm her first I can make it special for her the way she deserves. I have a million ideas already.

However, I can't lie and say I have no concerns about sleeping with Rinnie. It's annoying and out of character for me to be thinking this way, but she's my best friend and I need her to stay my best friend forever. Our friendship is at stake and that means something. I like to take risks, but the stakes are the highest they've ever been with this wager. I'm not too worried though, I have never had a problem separating business with pleasure before. I have confidence we would be able to work it out if we take this risky step. I mean, how much can having sex one time really change? I know it'd be great because we have an amazing connection, so as long as we don't turn it into something dramatic I see no problems arising. Rinnie and I never have problems, not really. I knew Rinnie was special to me since the first time I saw her, back in middle school. Ugh, now I'm thinking about it. I can vividly remember the first time I met her.

Flashback
I sit passenger in my mom's stupid fancy car, mapping out my escape route. Maybe if I just open the door and roll across the road and make a run for my uncle's house......

"Now remember, we're very well-known here, you must make a good impression. No talking back to your teachers, no sharing personal information and for the love of God please don't talk to the kids sitting all alone. They're alone for a reason. They're losers. You, Grant Goldsworthy cannot be a loser. You have a big name to live up to you know?"

I wonder if she can hear herself. I have so many nasty things I want to say to her, but I bite my tongue. If I engage her, she'll never stop and then I can never escape. I sigh, "Got it, be the coolest guy in school."

I look out the window at the other 13-year-olds, wondering if they have to deal with this too. Do they also have parents that treat them like a pawn in some twisted game of chess? This isn't chess though, this is real life, my life. I stare at my mom. I sort of feel bad for her. She is so disconnected from the world, so wrapped up in herself that she doesn't even know what real emotions feel like. Can I hate her because she's incapable of love? I look at the kids running and playing tag and decide they probably don't have these kinds of thoughts. They are smiling and hugging their parents goodbye, they look genuinely happy. That's how I know these are the kind of thoughts I must keep to myself. As my father taught me, there are thoughts you say and thoughts you should never say out loud. He's always been an action type of guy, which would be nice if his actions weren't hurtful ninety percent of the time.

I notice my mom is still talking, but I have no idea what's she saying. How can my mom be so different from me? I'm glad she is though. She notices my attention is on my future classmates and not her and she glares at me as her voice raises. "You are just like your father, God, I can't stand it! You'd probably cheat on me like he does if we were married!"

I look at her, unsure of what to say. My parents are talking about divorce and not a day goes by where she doesn't yell at me about it. I didn't mean to make them fight.

"I was just looking to see who the cool kids here are, so I know who to talk to."

She narrows her eyes and leans over me to look out the window, making me squirm away from her. She points one of her long fingers at two young boys with floppy brown hair and green eyes. They look identical. "Those two. You know how people love twins."

I smile, they sort of remind me of my best friend Grayson. I sigh, I miss him. I don't think I'll make any friends here, not like him. "Okay mom, I'll say hi to them." The word mom burns coming out of my mouth. Do all mom's suck? Grayson's mom seemed nice, but she always busy and I'm not her son. I think maybe she had to be nice to me.

Just as I go to get out of the car, I see a girl walk up to the twins, grinning ear to ear. I wipe the window, hoping it will help me see her better. Her smile is so pretty, so warm. Her braid follows neatly behind her. She reaches into her pocket and hands them each a piece of candy and then rolls her eyes at them. Before I realize it, I'm laughing.

"What's so funny?" My mom says, her voice sharp and irritated. She hates when I laugh, it reminds her of dad.

I shrug, "I don't know." I lie. I don't want my mom to ever know about the girl with the perfect smile.

She rolls her eyes. "Just go. I've had enough."

She doesn't have to tell me twice. I open the door and am running as fast and far from her as I can. I run straight to the front doors and try to open them.

"No use. They're stupid here and don't open them until exactly 7am. They just make us stand here forever." A sweet voice comes from behind me.

I want to ask why not, but I don't want to annoy her with stupid questions, so I don't. "Well, then I'm going to be the first one inside."

"Hmm, you can be second." I hear the amusement in her voice.

I turn around and my heart starts racing. It's her. The girl with the pretty smile. She's here right in front of me, smiling. "Yeah, we'll see."

She looks me over. "I've never seen you before. Are you new?"

I shake my head. "I'm the principle's son."

She crosses her arms. "Nuh-uh, Phoebe is." She points to a tall, skinny girl with black hair who's talking to a group of boys. *I later realized how much Phoebe reminds me of Trisha.*

"You mean the one in that dress, because I don't think that's anyone's son. Or are you talking about one of the boys around her?" I use my hand to shield my eyes from the sun.

She rolls her eyes. "Close enough to a boy, she's always following all the guys around like she is one."

I'm laughing before I know it. She's funny too, not just pretty. I like her even more. I feel more comfortable around her now too, so I turn and examine her more closely. I realize how tiny she is. I smile, "How tall are you?"

"I don't know, how tall are you?" She makes a face.

I smirk. "I don't know."

She smiles and reaches into her bookbag. "What's your favorite candy?"

"I like Reese's'. What about you?"

"Me too." She pulls out two Resee's cups and hands me one. "Here you go."

I'm taken aback. She's going to give someone she barely knows her favorite candy?

I take a step back. "I can't accept that, that's your favorite."

"I have one too, see?" She shakes her Reese in front of me.

"Yeah, but what if you want another one later?"

She grabs my hand and puts a Reese in it. "I want you to have it." She emphasizes the word you.

I'm smiling too now. "Thank you. What's your name?"

She nods and reaches a tiny hand out to me. "I'm Zephyrine."

I shake her hand. Her hand is soft and warm. I hold her hand a second too long, not wanting to let the moment go. "That's such a unique name, but I don't think I can say it."

She laughs. "You talk like you're really smart, are you really smart?"

I panic a little. I really don't want this girl to think I'm a dork. "No Rinnie, I don't care about stupid school."

Her laugh gets louder and before long I'm laughing too. "Rinnie?" She says between breaths.

"That's your new name."

"Alright, but only you can call me that, okay?" She looks at me sternly.

Excitement courses through me, we have something just for us and I like it. "Okay."

She stares at me. "What's your name?"

"Grant."

"Well, Grant you have really pretty eyes."

My heart nearly burst. "I do? Thank you. You have a gorgeous smile."

She looks stunned. "No one has ever called me gorgeous before."

"Well then it's about time somebody did."

She grins. "Thank you."

We hear shoes approaching, then the doors open to expose teachers fake smiling as they wait for us to enter. Both Rinnie and I make a run to be the first student in the building. I almost win but she tickles me last second and gets in front.

I laugh and run after her, "Hey, no fair!"

She shrugs. "You never said we couldn't tickle."

"You never said we could."

The two twin boys walk past us, shoving each other. She follows my gaze. "Those are Alec and Aiden; they do that a lot. I don't know why; it must be a twin thing."

"Must be."

I hear a girl call for her.

She nods at the girl and turns to face me. "I have to go, but it was nice to meet you Grant."

"You too Rinnie."

She starts to walk away before I decide to call out to her. "Hey, wait!"

She turns around and takes a step towards me. "Yeah?"

"Will you sit by me at lunch today?'

She smiles brightly. "Yeah, I'll save you a seat."

I smile, watching her run to her friend.  I guess I was able to make a friend after all. A very pretty friend.

I remember thinking, I hope she never loses that smile.
End of flashback

I sigh and step out of the shower, wrapping a towel around my waist. When Zephyrine said she wanted me to be her first, I nearly fainted. I was over the moon that she even considered me, but the more I think about it the more I don't feel like I deserve the honor. I deserve sleazy girls with no intentions of settling down, the type that make people wonder why you're even with them. Those are the type of girls I'm used to. I'm not sure I'd even know how to be with someone as pure as Rinnie. That, however, doesn't mean I don't want to be with her. I mean, of course I want that. The logical part of me is telling me to stop this madness before I loose her, but the Grant in me refuses.

As frustrating as it is, I did this to myself. I never prepared myself for something like this, I would've never thought I had to.

I still feel her lips on mine. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. Not that I didn't think I'd like kissing her, I just didn't think I'd need more. Ever since I've kissed her, I've been a junkie for her touch. Her lips have become my heroine. The thought of kissing her again consumes me. The thought of kissing her all over gives me goosebumps. This is more than I expected, more than I bargained for. The stakes have been raised even higher, what if I couldn't manage just one time with her? What if sleeping with her only intensified my craving for her? That could be very bad. I can't back out now though, we made a deal.

I grab my phone and set an alarm to wake up early the next morning. I'm going to make this as special for her as I possibly can. I want her to know this is important to me. This is my chance to show her everything I can't say, everything I've been thinking. What am I worrying about? I know I can do this, I'm me.
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During Chapter 6

A new sensation of nerves and butterflies flow through me as I finish spreading the amazing smelling red rose petals across my brand-new red silk sheets. I hear all my friends talking outside the door. I find it funny that they have no idea I'm here, in my room. I told them all a different story about where I was going. I feel bad for confusing her, but it was absolutely necessary that she doesn't suspect what I'm doing. I want to surprise her. I also needed her to come to my house, so I pretended I wanted to have a little get-together I knew she wouldn't miss out on.

It's a rule in our friend group not to be romantic with anyone else in the group, so I couldn't talk to anyone about what my plans were. This is definitely crossing the line, but nothing is going to make me miss this opportunity. While I was at it, I figured I might as well have some fun with it and make her play detective the way I knew she would. I had a feeling she'd poke holes in everyone's story, but I figured it'd keep her distracted for a while.

Rinnie's voice makes me freeze. "He went to work?"

I grin. She's looking for me.

I have to move fast, it's only a matter of time before Rinnie finds me. I take one last look at my recently decorated room and carefully open my bedroom window. It's time.

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CHAPTER 7

The next morning:

I slowly open my heavy eyes, feeling a warmth against me and all throughout my body. I smile, noticing that Rinnie is the warmth. She's pressed up tightly against me, her face buried into my chest. I gently pull her even closer to me, but I don't think it's possible for me to get her as close as I'd like her right now.

I can't stop staring at her. The sunlight is hitting her just right, making her look like she just came down from heaven. I take advantage of the light and memorize every one of her features. Her cute little button nose, her long, thick lashes, her dark eyebrows, her high cheekbones, the small dimple on her right cheek as she smiles cutely into the pillow. She's the kind of perfect that I can never be. I love the fact that she's everything I'm not. She's soft, gentle, untainted. I love that the world hasn't been hard on her. I'd gladly take on all the trauma in the world so she wouldn't have to face any of it. I'd go through all the pain and suffering I've been through a million more times to keep her like this forever.

S**t! What is happening?!

My lips tingle, remembering how she tasted, how she felt. Memories of last night come creeping back into my mind. Last night I was a different man, someone I want to be. She brought out the romantic in me, a part of me that I'd thought died long ago. I took the lead, but I was gentler than I'd ever been before. I was soft like her. I cherished every part of her, taking my time as if it was the last time because there's a good chance it is. Yesterday was all about her. I spent hours trying to make her feel special because she is.

I pause and mentally slap myself. I don't know what kind of post-nut clarity this is but it needs to stop. It was just sex. I repeatedly tell myself but it doesn't help, I'm screwed.

When her eyes flutter open, I'm ready to risk it all. Then, I remember who I am and who she is. I lay back down quickly and pretend to sleep. I feel one of her small hands hit my chest. I can't help but laugh.

"Morning." I smile at her, staring at the cover wrapped securely around her flawless body. I want nothing more than to uncover her.

She looks panicked. "Sorry." She attempts to get up then looks down at herself and just tugs the blanket tighter, unintentionally demanding my attention.

I grin at her, charmed by her innocence. The other girls I've been with acted very different when waking up the next morning.

I start to worry that maybe last night wasn't as amazing for her as it was for me. "You good?" I do my best to sound nonchalant, but inside I'm freaking out. Why do I even care? I never care. I'm never even there the next morning, nevermind asking for approval.

"Uh-huh." She smiles, then pauses, I get the impression she's having some sort of internal struggle. I would kill to know what that battle is. I'm immediately brought out of my thoughts when she speaks. "That was nice."

I search her face for a clearer answer. "Nice?" I ask, unsure of how to take that.

She just keeps looking at me nervously. I prepare myself to ask the question that scares me the most right now. "Any regrets?"

Rinnie takes my hands in hers, calming me. "No regrets. It was everything I wanted."

Relief floods through me. "Really?"

"Really."

My heart goes crazy when she stares at my lips. Her eyes move so fast I wonder if I'd imagined it. Don't make this harder for yourself. I scold myself. I know that if I don't move now, I'll give into my desires in seconds. I knew it was going to be hard, but I could never prepare for how I'm feeling now.

Maybe if I get dressed, I'll be back in control of myself. I move to the edge of the bed. "I'm going to get dressed."

I laugh as she turns her head away from me. "It's nothing you haven't seen before Rinnie." My eyes get wide for a second, realizing I'm not lying. She really has seen me naked. I quickly put my boxers on, suddenly self-conscious. What is this? I'm never shy.

"I'm not watching you get dressed Grant."

I grin. She's still Rinnie, thank God last night didn't change her. She's still so innocent and witty.

She sits with her legs close together, reminding me last night was her first time. My heart sinks, maybe I did hurt her after all. Maybe I wasn't careful enough. Stop!!! I plead with myself. Sex isn't supposed to be like this, sex is about pleasure.

As soon as the thought crosses my mind, I make my way over to her. "Sore?"

She dramatically shakes her head. "Not really."

She's lying. I start to feel sick with the thought that I hurt her. I keep my eyes on her, not willing to let her get away that easy. "I don't believe you."

"I should get dressed." She goes to stand and quickly sits back down, grimacing. I put my hand gently on her shoulder, afraid my touch might hurt. I keep my eyes on her, watching her face for any signs of pain.

She laughs, trying to ease the tension. I fight the urge to stop her as she stands. After a moment, I'm standing behind her. "I'm sorry."

She turns around. "You didn't hurt me. You were very gentle."

Having her this close to me, looking up at me with those beautiful green eyes, makes me want to kiss her. I focus in on the thin pink ring around the outside of the light green in her eyes, one of my favorite parts of her. The need to kiss her is so powerful I nearly fall in my effort to get closer to her. She takes a step towards me and trips. Before I know it, we're tangled in the sheets that were covering her. I feel her soft skin against me. I look at her wide eyes and gapping mouth and start laughing. She takes one look at me and starts laughing too. Something about her laugh makes the craving come back. I need to kiss her. She stops laughing and looks back up at me, her eyes questioning me. I inch a little closer, afraid to scare her away. I kiss her softly. She deepens the kiss, answering all my questions. She's telling me she wants me too. This realization makes me too excited, and I start getting carried away, bringing our bodies closer.

Without warning, she pulls away. "I should get dressed."

My mind races to find an excuse to keep her from leaving. I know eventually I'll have to accept the fact that she's not mine, but not right now. I can't accept that with her so close to me. Mine? I question myself.

"I have a proposal." I blurt out.

She glances at my lips and pulls the covers closer to her again, looking intrigued. "Oh yeah?" Her eyes bore into me, begging me to give her a good reason to stay.

I almost tell her everything I'm feeling, but when I open my mouth something else comes out. "What if we do this for the rest of today, just to make sure you get proper experience?" I pray she agrees because I really need to get this out of my system before it becomes an issue .

Her face falls and she scoots away, which crushes me. "We shouldn't."

I smirk so I don't make her feel bad for saying no. She has every right to say no, I don't hold it against her. She's smart not to agree to what I was suggesting. I just wish things were different. She stops talking and goes pale.

"Rinnie are you okay? You look pale." I feel her forehead and it's on fire, making me worry even more. "You're burning up."

She dismisses my worries. "Just a little warm, nothing a cool shower can't fix." She fake smiles. I keep staring at her, something's wrong. She looks back at me and takes my hand in hers, once again calming me. "Are you okay Grant?"

I'm not, but there's no point in bringing that up. It won't make a difference because I can't have her this close to me ever again, we're friends. I plaster my most convincing smile on my face and stand up. "Always."

I hope she doesn't realize how slowly I move while I get dressed, this is just all so heavy. I glance at the alarm clock on my dresser telling me it's 12pm. "We should go get something to eat." I don't let myself look at her, I know if I do, I'll be down on my knees begging her to stay here with me. I can't do that. I won't let myself be selfish with Rinnie. We agreed only one time and anything else is me being greedy, which I am but not with her.

"Yeah, I'm starving." She replies as she goes to get dressed.

Don't you dare stop her. You can do this. Do this for her.