Over the following months, life fell into a monotonous routine. Waking up early, reaching school in a dazed state, attending our ritualistic school assembly, followed by the continuous barrage of classes. The Newtonian laws of motion, Bohr's and Rutherford's atomic models, the anatomy of a frog, and the genetic load calculations, everything was either scribbled on the fine paper of our notebooks, recorded on the tablets, or saved temporarily onto our overworked brains. No one claimed that the science stream was easy, yet nothing could prepare us for the workload we were experiencing.

Over these months, Madhuri went on to prove that her podium position in the state exams wasn't a mere façade. She was quick to grasp concepts, was always eager to answer questions, led the class when it seemed that the discussion was turning stale, and performed exceptionally well in our bimonthly tests. Her eager approach kept me motivated, and in no time, we had become the undisputed leaders of the exam leaderboards.

Unlike what I was hoping for, neither Madhuri nor I could slot out time for personal discussions. Our characteristic breakneck academic performances helped us forge a decently reliable friendship, yet we would seldom discuss personal matters while in class. We crammed in some time for each other during recess, which we spent either sipping coffee, sharing a chocolate brownie, or just walking about the campus. Madhuri finally decided to take the unofficial tour of the school with me, and it would be safe to say that she wasn't overly impressed with what she saw. I can't blame her though.

As September rolled in, the atmosphere around the senior secondary section of DB High turned eerily serene. Within the next couple of weeks, the schedule for our half-yearly exams was slated to be announced, followed shortly by the exams themselves. This would be the first set of board exams we would encounter, and our scores in these would also be considered for our final cumulative evaluation. Along with it, the fear of losing the SSS scholarship from the school had doubled our concerns. The atmosphere was so tense that the class clown himself was lying low, keeping his shenanigans to the bare minimum, and focused on gathering notes and study materials.

"How's your preparation?", Madhuri asked. 

"Not great!", I said. "I am just scared I will flunk the exams this time around."

"I am pretty sure we won't flunk it." Madhuri continued. "But I guess we need to ramp up our preparations." I couldn't agree more. 

"I was thinking we should start studying together.", Madhuri suggested. "I know neither of our families would allow us to study together at home, but then we can use the community library."

She got a point. I ain't sure how her family was, at least from the perspective of giving her space to study, but my home was no short of a mini marketplace. Between my younger siblings watching Doraemon and Shinchan at astronomical volumes, Papa's endless business calls, and Maa's constant reminders of how well Nihal, our neighbour's son, did in his 12th and JEE, studying was a herculean task. Some alone time at the library would do us good, I suppose.

"I like your idea.", I said. "But I won't promise anything yet. It will be something to coax my parents into accepting this proposal, but I guess I can craft something up, and win them over. Could I possibly get your phone number? I could drop you a WhatsApp message when I get confirmation." She raised her eyebrow and eyed me with suspicion. I know I was being cheeky. I hadn't asked for her number yet, but this was my chance to ask for it.

"What!?", I asked, acting all innocent and shrugging my shoulders. 

"Smooth move, Mr. Hazelnut Mocha.", Madhuri said, her left eyebrow still raised. "But no, not sharing my phone number yet." My ruse was caught. Damn it!

"Well, no issues.", I said, a lame attempt at firefighting the situation. "I can tell you tomorrow. Sorry if it was uncalled for." Damn awkward. 

"Nah!", Madhuri continued. "It's nothing to be sorry about, Shekhar. I know you don't have ulterior intentions. It's just that my past isn't a clean slate, and I don't want to take a chance." A tiny teardrop tricked out of the corner of her eye, which she quickly wiped off. I might not have even noticed it, but her teardrop diluted a part of her immaculate eyeliner as it trickled. 

"Hey!", I said. By sheer instinct, I reached out and cupped her palm in mine. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I fucked up, I am sorry. Please don't cry. Please!" 

For a moment, her hand gripped mine, and as quickly as she had grabbed it, she pulled it out. 

"I just need a moment, Shekhar.", she said, as she stood up, and citing a headache, headed for the infirmary. What have I done? How stupid could I be!?

The rest of the day went without any significant issues. Madhuri returned about half an hour later, but we didn't talk much. Maybe I was hesitating, or maybe she just wanted her time. I might be her friend, but that gave me no right to interject into her life. We completed our salt analysis as quickly as we could, submitted the report to the professor, and left the lab. I had tried making some eye contact with her, but Madhuri seemed to be avoiding me. Upon reaching our classroom, she came up to me, and said in a flat tone, 

"It's not your fault, Shekhar. I just need some time. Don't antagonize yourself. Just ask your parents if it's okay to study at the library. We need to make arrangements if they agree." I simply nodded. She waved me a simple goodbye, and walked out, never bothering to look back.

●●●

Maa had cooked a simple dinner that night. A bowl of sticky rice, some lentil soup, a plate of vegetables, and a piece each of fried rohu fish. It was one of my favourite dinner platters, but today everything tasted bland. Even my poor tastebuds had been victims of my growing anticipation.

"How's classes?", Papa's heavy, husky voice broke the silence of the table. 

"It's going good enough, Papa.", I replied. "We are expecting the schedule for the half-yearly exams, due in late September." 

"How's the preparations for it?", he asked. 

"It's going decent, but I am planning to start group studying.", I said. I know my oratory skills had taken a day off, so things weren't going all great, but I was hoping this might work with my parents.

"Group study?", Maa asked, looking up from her plate. Well, I guess I fucked up. "Why do you want to go for a group study? Is the house not a good enough place for you? What more do you want from us? We have stopped going on vacations so that you succeed. Your siblings don't bring their friends over just because you are studying. What more do you want from us? Should we leave this house now?" I sighed. Maa and her typical response.

"Shreya", Papa interjected. "Let Shekhar complete. Why are you escalating a simple issue? He might need that space, isn't it?" 

"You don't know boys his age, Anand." Maa countered. "Don't you remember how that girl Ananya tried destroying his life by dating him? He is a naïve kid. He doesn't know how to take care of himself!" This was going overboard!

"Maa, why are you bringing Ananya into this?", I asked. I was just frustrated, but my tone might have been a bit aggressive. After what happened with Madhuri, and now all of this, I wasn't having a great day. To top that all off, Maa was scratching the part of me that hadn't healed yet. "I still performed well in my matriculation, didn't I? So that proves my point. Plus, Ananya and I have been have not been in contact for over a year now. Let us not go there!"

"Oh! Now you are old enough to counter me, eh boy!", Maa returned fire. "This, this is what I call ruining your life! Just look back at how well-behaved you were when Ananya hadn't interjected your life. She has now poisoned your mind, your actions, and your personality. You are gone for good! Yes, and you did perform as well as you did in your matriculation just because I had pushed you to end things with Ananya. If you hadn't, you would have been lying on some rotten bench of a third-grade college, studying among drug addicts and molesters, not in a reputed school. Understand?"

If you wanted a definition of how emotional assault looked like, well there you have it! In a matter of seconds, she took my confidence, my self-worth, my willpower; and any other possible cornerstone on which I was holding myself above water; and smashed them to pieces as if they were some cheap chinaware. I was fuming, but I had to hold myself back. My siblings were on the table. They had already seen how their mother berated their elder brother, and this gave them the confidence to berate him with no fear of consequences. But I wasn't equally irresponsible. I wanted them to respect our mother, and thus I calmed myself.

"I see.", I said, holding back the urge to scream. "But this time around, I will need group study. The syllabus is extensive, and I don't have all the books. I will get the books there, and with my classmates, I will be able to compare and make good notes, which might even help my JEE preparations." 

"No, you aren't...", Maa started when Papa cut her off. 

"If it helps you, go for it. Just come back by 09:30 PM." 

Maa lost it. She put her half-eaten dinner into a bowl, washed her hands, and walked off. "Who cares about the opinions of an old haggard like me!", we heard her say as she walked off. "You will anyways drop me off in some destitute old age home, and treat your father like a king! I don't earn for the family, right? So why should anyone care for my feelings, my opinions?"

Papa got mad, and I knew things would take a rough turn. He looked into my eyes and said, "I am taking a risk. Please make the most of this opportunity." He looked tired as he stood up to wash his hands. Tired of these fights, tired of the situations we were in. They had the worst fight in years. My siblings huddled into my chest as I shielded their ears and hugged them. 'Rest up, little ones. I have seen worse', I whispered as we fell asleep.

●●●

The following day, I woke up earlier than normal. Papa and Maa fought throughout the early hours, and now he was sleeping rather uncomfortably on the living room couch. The perks of being a husband and a father, I guess!

I relieved myself, showered, and was ready by the time anyone had woken up. Papa had offered to drop me, but I opted to walk to school. The last thing I needed was for him to face even more accusations of conspiracy, treachery, and 'politicizing' the domestic fiber of the family, whatever it was supposed to mean. I just asked him to inform Maa that I will be leaving for my JEE Coaching from school, followed by a couple of hours at the library, and would be back by 09:30 PM.

I had reached school early, and after cleaning our tables and setting them up like she had intended them to be, I fired up my tablet and started completing some pending assignments. In the commotion of the previous night, I had completely forgotten about an urgent Chemistry assignment that was due today. It wasn't anything I hadn't prepared for, but it had a decent complexity to it. I wasn't the brightest bulb when it came to Chemistry, you could call it my Achilles' heel. But I could cram up information, and that was what I had done with this part of the module.

"Hi.", Madhuri's voice interrupted my trail of thoughts. 

"Hey, good morning," I replied. "Look, I have cleaned our tables, and set them up as you like them." 

"They look perfect!", she said, with a beautiful shine in her eyes. She loved nothing more than maintaining her table, and over the months, she had also started maintaining mine. After my risqué ruse, it was fair that I surprised her with a well-organized table.

"Did you do all of it by yourself?", she asked. 

"All by myself.", I replied. "I reached school quite early today, so I used up my time productively by organizing the table. Glad you liked it!" 

"I am so happy!", she said. "I like that you are picking up with the organizational skills." 

"Learned from the best.", I said, as we kept our bags and headed for the assembly.

The first half of the day was routine. We had the first of many revision sessions, and in the pop quizzes, both of us kept the ceiling relatively high. "... and, with this, the first pop quiz session ends.", Ms. Pratibha said. She was our Chemistry professor and was exceptionally good at her job. Madhuri loved her classes, but since I was relatively blunt in Chemistry, I attended them to complete the required credits. It was no surprise that Madhuri led the Chemistry scores, and damn was she good at it. 

"Tomorrow, we shall have a pop quiz on the dissociation of salts under high temperatures, so please be prepared.", Ms. Pratibha said, walking out of the room as the bell for recess rang.

"So, are we making it to the library today?", Madhuri asked as she retrieved her lunch from her bag. 

"Yes.", I replied. "There was a major scene at home over it, but Papa agreed."

"Maa didn't?", she asked inquisitively. 

"I don't know. We haven't talked since last night.", I replied. 

"Are you okay?", Madhuri asked, with a hint of concern in her voice. "You did seem off-color today. What happened?" 

"Long story, Madhuri.", I said. "I don't want to talk about it today."

She nodded, and continued, "Where's your lunch?" 

"Well, I didn't get enough time to make any.", I replied. "But I will get some cake when we have coffee. That should do it."

"No!", she thundered back. "That wouldn't be enough. You think you are a minion, Shekhar? Your body needs food. Here, have some of mine." She gently pushed her lunchbox towards me and gestured for me to have some. She had brought red sauce pasta, and it looked great.

"Thank you, Madhuri. But I got no spoon.", I said, gently returning the box to her. 

"That is even a problem?", asked Madhuri. "Here, let me feed you some. Open your mouth, will you?"

I was dumbfounded. She wanted me to eat from her spoon? I mean, that was intimate, wasn't it? Before I could react, she held my jaws, opened them effortlessly as my face was lax, and fed me a spoon.

Time had rolled to a stop. Nothing else mattered at that moment. The subtle spiciness of the red sauce, the freshness of the basil, the tenderness of the pasta, and the savory greasiness of the butter, all amalgamated in my mouth, as my soul still reeled from understanding what just happened. I could see some of the guys behind us staring in disbelief, as the flavour of the pasta assimilated into my tastebuds. The pasta tasted a bit too good.

"You like it?", Madhuri asked, eating another spoonful. 

"It's heavenly!", I exclaimed. 

She giggled, and nudging me, said "If you like it, take another spoon. I won't feed you this time though!" Coyly, I took her spoon, and we shared her lunch.

"Coffee time!", Madhuri squealed, as she packed her lunchbox, and we walked towards the booth. 

"Thank you for the lunch, Madhuri", I said. "But you remained hungry, no?" 

She shook her head in disagreement, saying "I ain't full, but we both are half hungry, aren't we? That's a better proposition." 

What was with this girl? One day I ask her number, and she acts distant, and the next, she readily shares her lunch, and even her spoon.

One thing was sure though, she did care for me. At least, it seemed so on the surface. As we sipped our coffees, Madhuri spent the remainder of the recess explaining our plan for the upcoming library session. I was partially paying attention, but her aura had captivated me. She was analogous to a puzzle. She was complex yet simple, tough to understand or decode, but equally simplified when the context is understood. She was a unique person, and not everyone could appreciate her.

"You there?", Madhuri snapped at me. "You seem dazed. What happened?" 

"Uh! No... nothing", I replied. "Just some overbearing thoughts about the upcoming pop quiz, that's all."

"So, do you want us to study Chemistry today?", she asked. I refused and suggested we stick to our plan to revise Physics. Soon, the bell marking the end of recess was rung, and we quickly retreated into our classrooms. The last three hours of the day were allocated to Physical Education, but the administration had independently decided that it would be convenient to replace it with three 1-hour pop quizzes. So much for the motto of DB High – "Democratic, Inclusive, Empowering." If this was democracy, I prefer constitutional monarchy, thank you very much!

The quizzes were completed with relative ease, and we had enough time to prepare some preliminary notes for our evening session. School was quickly followed by a long JEE coaching session, and by the time we had rendezvoused in the parking lot of Madhuri's coaching center, darkness had set in.

"You are okay walking this late?", I asked Madhuri. 

"Well, I usually don't travel alone after dark," she replied, "though there is always a first time for everything." I nodded. 

"It's good that the library is well-lit, and is mostly crowded by students from nearby schools and colleges.", she continued. The library wasn't quite far from the educational center of Panbazaar. The roads were dimly lit but were illuminated enough for us to navigate without being spooked by the feeling of being followed.

As Madhuri indicated, the library was very well maintained. It had a large entrance gate, with a huge garden between it and the library complex. The warm yellowish lights gave the whole structure an antique feel, which suited its British origins.

The security guard stationed at the entrance checked our ID cards, logged our time of entry, and led us to one of the reading rooms. I had seen the library from outside since my childhood days but had never entered the building. The reading room was massive, with space for at least a couple hundred students. We chose a corner where the crowd was relatively thinner, and placed our bags on the chairs, marking them as occupied. Madhuri had bought the book we had planned on solving, while I borrowed one from the library archives, and we spent the following couple of hours slogging through questions of 2-dimensional mechanics.

As the clock hit 09:00 PM, the librarian entered the reading room, announcing that the premises would be closed within the next half hour, and we had to vacate the rooms. His voice startled us, as we both were engrossed in solving questions and had virtually lost track of time.

"It's quite late, Shekhar.", Madhuri exclaimed. "We need to keep track." 

"Agreed!", I added. "But look at the progress! Section I of the chapter is nearly completed."

"That's true, though.", she continued. "We did complete a lot." 

We packed our bags as we chatted, and I opted to accompany her to her house. We weren't exactly neighbours, but we were within walking distance. By the time I reached home, it was 09:45 PM. I was late.

"I asked you to return by 09:30, right?", Papa's voice rumbled as he opened the door. 

"Ye... Yes Papa.", I stammered. "Bu... But I lost track of the time as I was solving questions." He seemed unimpressed.

"I am not interested in your half-cooked excuses, Shekhar.", he grumbled. "I am considering it today as it's your first strike, but going forward, I want you at the gate before 09:30, else your dinner is cancelled, and you can make yourself comfortable with Roxy. Is it understood?"

"I understand, Papa.", I said. 

"Good. Now get freshened up, and sit at the dining table. We were waiting for you." I quickly got all freshened up, gave Roxy her dinner of Pedigree and some boiled chicken, and sat at the dinner table. Maa was still in her mood, while Riya and Jiya were eating silently. It seemed as if someone had passed away in the house. Maybe someone, or more precisely something had indeed passed away. My sanity, my self-worth, my hopes, my dreams. All of them had died at the hands of my overbearing parents.

My only hope was Madhuri. She is the only person who could retrieve me from the shithole I find myself in today.