Nothing made a man feel smaller, even a man six thousand years into undeath, than witnessing something descend from the heavens.

The air turned to fire, and illumined the ground miles below as brightly as the sun. The sky howled in a wounded fury the imagined deities of the ancient world could not possess. The erupting force of stone and iron sublimated by temperatures only slightly cooler than the surface of the sun could explode in spectacles of untamed power that thermonuclear weapons could only imitate.

Everything that had been built could be unmade by the meagrest application of such power.

That Alcuard could see it happening in the sky above him left the millennium-old vampire more than a little uncomfortable.

"That's coming in way too fast for a shuttle," the mercenary captain Lanval said, re-holstering his weapon as he gestured for one of his soldiers to do something. Surprisingly, that mercenary took a small collection of observation equipment out of his pockets and began setting them up.

Alcuard looked about, searching for a sign that someone else was less than startled by what he saw in the sky. Fabulo and the other fledgeling fools now holding Isabella had turned, pointing and gawking, up at the sky. The assortment of lackeys and floozies that made up the billionaire's retinue were all equally enamoured by the spectacle in the air.

But Luca, alone of everyone standing in the streets of Alcuard's city, looked up at the sky with a knowing grin, and a twinkle in his eyes. Seeing Alcuard's questing gaze, the only quadrillionare in the solar system chuckled and shook his head. "Not a meteor, but it is coming for us," Luca said in a whisper.

"What is it?" Alcuard asked.

"Viviana. Coming down with the second most expensive piece of clothing she owns," Luca said cryptically.

"She's wearing something she can drop from space in?" Alcuard asked in astonishment.

"Yep," Luca said simply. Alcuard was surprised to see his friend looked somewhat unhappy with what he was seeing. "For a girl who prefers to work behind the throne, she really knows how to make an entrance."

"That's a man-made object, sir," one of the mercenaries shouted to Lanval. "Decelerating too quickly to be a meteorite. The expected landing site is..."

"Spit it out," Lanval barked.

"A hundred meters up the road," the mercenary finished lamely.

"You're with me," Lanval said, and he kicked at a nearby box. The crate opened with the sullen servility of a teenager at his first summer job, and Lanval pulled a massive rifle out of it. "Everyone else hold your positions."

"Excuse me, Adama-" Fabulo interjected with the grace and subtlety of a drunk with a foghorn.

"Adams, you pasty parasite," Lanval corrected tersely.

"Adams, whatever. What the hell are you doing? We're in the middle of something important!" Fabulo exclaimed in what Alcuard suspected was supposed to be an expression of dignified indignation. The results were slightly less mature than a child's tantrum in a candy store.

"Facilitating your midnight blood ritual is beyond the bounds of my contract. I'll require a twenty per cent increase just to not shoot you for breach of your obligations. And your people will have to restrain the girl themselves," Lanval said. "And even then, it will have to wait until we neutralize this potential incoming threat."

"Twenty? That's highway robbery. I'll give you ten per cent," Fabulo countered.

"Twenty-five," Lanval said.

"What! You're not supposed to increase your price! We're supposed to haggle until we arrive at fifteen," Fabulo pouted. "That's how bargaining works!"

Luca howled with laugher, nearly knocking BIRD off of its perch on his shoulder. "You're complaining about cutthroat rates to a guy who actually cuts throats, Fabs. He's the only guy here with a gun, at least for the moment."

"Fine, twenty per cent," Fabulo conceded.

"Thirty. Twenty for the initial ask, five for having to haggle with something dangerous coming our way, and the other five we'll just call the Lorenzo surcharge. Now hang back, and let me deal with that," Lanval ordered, gesturing over his shoulder.

A massive plume of fire had appeared, as some sort of fusion rocket began to slow the craft down.

"Okay, thirty per cent!" Lorenzo said, crouching down and skittering back into the crowd of vampires and floozies. He stumbled into the industrial fan and nearly fell over as he retreated.

"Find cover, mind the prisoners, and hold fire until I damn well say so. If they start shooting back at us, a lot of our clients could get hurt. Which is hard on performance bonuses," Lanval ordered, as he chose a position at the corner of a building and started fiddling with the settings on his rifle.

In the meantime, the descending object had slowed, and the rockets stopped with a quiet pop. A parachute deployed, and as the smoke cleared, Alcuard could finally see what was descending upon them.

The craft looked like a ship's escape pod, only better armoured. Thick slabs of steel jutted along the sides of the capsule-like foundation pillars. There were no windows, and what looked to be only a single blast door on one side.

The craft struck the street with all the force expected of hundreds of tons of steel armoured plating, and the entire city trembled. Alcuard stumbled, caught himself, and watched as the door burst out and crashed onto the cobbles.

It was still too dark to see in the unlit entrance, but the unmistakable whine of hydraulic pistons roared into the now deathly quiet street. An inhumanly heavy step rumbled in the dark, and there was an odd, deep buzzing sound that followed.

Another step brought a monstrous figure into view. Polished metal in ultramarine blue gleamed in the blue streetlights, as the form stepped out of the shadows. Fully half again as tall as a man, with shoulders nearly as broad, the armoured figure march shook the streets with each thunderous step.

Alcuard's hand rested at the hilt of his sword, and the nearby mercenaries looked as if they might open fire at any moment. The massive machine carried only a single weapon in its massive hands, a beastly machine that whirred and roared, with blades that spun so fast it looked like a single object.

"Is that a chainsaw sword?" BIRD asked, looking at Luca accusingly.

"Hush," Luca said. He gave BIRD a flick with his finger, knocking the little metal drone into the air. He then sauntered over and passed Lanval, holding his hands in the air. "Viviana! That was easily one of the sexiest things I have ever seen!"

"Yeah, well I'm about to put some stains on the armour with bits of mercenary, so let me handle this," Viviana said. Her voice thundered as if it was being rebroadcasted with powerful speakers. She stepped forward and pointed the massive weapon at Lanval. "And you, violence pimp, didn't we have an understanding about what kind of contracts you take up?"

"They paid handsomely," Lanval replied, his own rifle unwavering as it pointed at Viviana's armoured head. "Also, this massively oversized rifle is meant for putting holes in armour plating. And I have hostages."

"You're scum, Lanval," Viviana replied, and she revved the sword menacingly.

"That's an opinion. But I'm on my way to an extravagant retirement, and no one's going to ruin that for me," Lanval replied casually.

Luca stepped forward and deliberately put himself between Lanval and Viviana. "Vi, please. There's a lot of people who could get hurt."

"Most them work for that cabal back there," Viviana replied, and she pointed the chainsaw sword directly at Fabulo.

"That doesn't mean squat. Their only crime is having a shitty job."

"Fine. But why the fuck do we have to be the good guys?" Viviana asked. The chainsaw motor died off, and the weapon's point touched down on the cobbles. A moment later, the chest plate opened.

Viviana climbed out and held her hands in the air as a pair of laser pointers levelled on her chest. "Boss, you do remember that it isn't illegal for a private militant company to execute prisoners, right? As soon as Fabulo orders us dead, we die."

"I know, Vi," Luca replied. "But don't worry, I have this."

"No offence, boss, but it really doesn't look like it," Viviana replied.

Fabulo, somehow sensing the winds of fortune had shifted, re-emerged from the expensive human shield he had cowered behind. "Ha, ha! Your last, best effort fizzled out as soon as it started, Luca."

"Bet you hear that from the ladies all the time, Fabulo," Luca replied glibly.

Dozens of people in the crowd behind Fabulo scoffed and chuckled. Fabulo rounded on them angrily, but then turned back to Isabella. "Well, my pretty, your last hope ended rather anticlimactically-"

"That's what your exes say on the forums," Luca interjected, to renewed gales of laughter.

"And I know dying as a virgin must feel like it ends prematurely," Fabulo carried on, attempting to ignore Luca.

"Ending prematurely is widely seen as the best part of having to sleep with you," Luca announced. That comment brought out a flood of renewed laughter. Even Fabulo's own fan crew were leaning on the device to keep themselves from falling over.

"But your sacrifice will lead to a new life for someone else," Fabulo carried on as the laughter died down again.

"That paper mill heiress would disagree, since despite her best efforts you failed to impregnate her," Luca said. "And since she just had triplets with a Spanish soccer star, the problem really wasn't on her end. Vi, did we send her a fruit basket?"

As he made his jokes, Luca casually but deliberate returned to stand beside Alcuard, looking tense and alert despite having publicly eviscerated Lorenzo with wit. "So Alcuard, is Izzy in danger from this ritual."

"She is," Alcuard said solemnly. "If she's a virgin, he will drink her until there is no blood left to draw."

"Now," Fabulo intoned dramatically, throwing his arms wide. "Jacoby, take the final step in joining our brotherhood and living forever! Drink the blood of this virgin, and join us in the eternal night!"

Jacoby Edwardo stepped forward again, clearly having regained his courage as the threat passed.

"And what happens if she's not a virgin?" Luca asked.

At that moment BIRD fluttered down on Alcuard's shoulder and peered intently at the spectacle. "No, don't spoil it. Five bucks says he squeals like the Wicked Witch of the West and screams 'I'm melting'."

"Five bucks he goes with 'Heat of Darkness'," Luca replied.

"Five says he quotes Twilight," Alcuard interjected.

But before either Alcuard or Luca could respond, the sickly looking Jacoby Edwardo stepped up to Isabella, now restrained by several other vampires rather than the mercenaries. The sickly boy leaned forward and bit into her neck gently.

And then screamed.

Jacoby Edwardo screamed as if he had just stuffed his face into a bowl of magma, pulling at his face and carving deep scratches with his nails. He stumbled away a few steps and gasped in air, only to scream again. He fell to his knees, managed to whisper 'no matter how beautiful the day is, it always has to end', and fell to the ground.

Bird extended one metallic foot, holding out a neatly folded five-dollar bill.