'Scared.'

Trigger Warning: Self Harm

Sumedh's POV

Few days passed like that. I am feeling very tensed for Angel. She is not okay. Something is wrong with her.

She is always in angry mood nowadays. Either she sits quietly or screams in anger. That sight makes me scared. 

I hate to listen her angry voice. It makes me feel like that night when she tricked me to play a game with her. I just can't erase those memories. That night still terrifies me and it forever will. 

She doesn't talks to me, She doesn't calls me Cadbury, 

My hand visibly shivered, I put my hand under the table so that no one can see. Right now I am having breakfast but I don't feel like eating. I don't want to eat as if my appetite is lost.

She doesn't even hugs me at night and I don't do it myself because I don't know why she is not hugging me herself, what if I hugged her and she didn't like it?

She is not giving me pecks. Not even good bye pecks. I am sad.

I looked at her she was silently eating her food while staring straight at a utensil. Her grip on her spoon was very tight. I wonder what is she thinking.

Sumedh: Angel!

I called her softly. She stood up and went as if she didn't heard me. 

I am feeling very sad. I looked down in my lap. I don't wanna do anything. I just want her to be normal like before. My eyes were glassy.

Radhika: Sumedh, baat kya hai? Tum dono ki koi ladayi hui hai?

She asked concerned for me. I feel grateful because she cares for me. A small smile appeared on my face and I shook my head.

Sumedh: Pata nahi di, kuch dino se vo mujhse baat nahi kar rahi hai. Voh khoyi khoyi si rehti hai. Kya vo kaam ki vajah se tension mai hai?

Radhika: Nahi Sumedh kaam ki vajah se nahi kuch aur hi baat hai. Tum chinta mat karo mai Mikku se baat karungi.

How can she every time comfort me with her words? 

Sumedh: Thank you so much di.

I went in room after my food was finished. She was about to go but I stopped her. I want attention. Her attention.

Sumedh: Angel.

I whined. She looked at me. I felt a flutter inside my stomach. I feel shy suddenly.

Mallika: Haa.

Her voice is so peaceful. Unless she is angry.

Sumedh: Tum mujhse baat kyu nahi kar rahi?

Mallika: Sorry baby, busy thi mai thodi si aur kaam ka stress bhi.

A silence fell between us.

Sumedh: Tum baaki ladkiyo jaisi nahi ho.

Mallika: Mai usse bhi jyada buri hu.

I felt a shiver ran down my spine.

Mallika: Bye bye!

Sumedh: Bye.

I said sadly. She went.

She used to understand my emotions by herself, what happened now? 

I just feel nothing. How can I think to get happiness from my life?

But I crave for her. She made me feel such emotions which nobody else did.

I sighed. I can do nothing but wait. I went towards and took the book.

~~~~~~

At 6:00 PM.

I went out of room. I want to see her. I saw her coming in. I smiled widely. I feel so good seeing her. I went near her, I want to hug her.

Sumedh: Angel!

I chirped.

She came near me and pinned me to a nearby wall. My eyes widened in shock. She palmed my mouth and stared straight into my eyes.

Mallika: Ye! Tumhe andaza nahi hai mai tumhare saath kya kya kar sakti hu! 1 second nahi lagega tumhari laash thikane lagana mai. Mera picha karna band karo aur jao yaha se.

She yelled with so much anger in her tone. I flinched at her harsh tone. I shivered remembering that night. My eyes becoming moist at the thought.

She removed her hand from my mouth and stared me for few seconds with anger with in her eyes. She went after that.

I gasped out a breath which I was holding. 

What just happened?

Why is she angry? Did I did something wrong? Definitely, I had done something wrong. Why I always mess up things?

My eyes became moist. I went inside the room. I laid on bed and hugged a pillow for some comfort. My eyes slowly became moist. Her angry face is coming in front of my eyes again and again.

A sob escaped from my mouth then another then another. I broke down into cries and hid my face in the pillow.

Why is it always me?

First Chachi ji and Chachi ji, and now Angel. They are giving me so much pain.

What did I do to deserve this miserable life?

I just want to end all this, but then my di's face automatically appears in front of my eyes. I miss her. I miss her so much.

I was hiccupping by now, the pillow was wet because of my tears. My chest suddenly burned from inside. My breathing was increasing.

I sat up and tried deep breathing but only gasps escaped from my mouth. It's coming back. I don't want it.

I am trying too much to stop it but it is becoming worse. I feel horrible. My heart is aching, tears are flowing.

The pain is becoming too much to endure. I stood up and went in bathroom I took out the blade from drawer and slashed my wrist several times with it.

I saw new scars along with old ones. I was feeling so calm so good seeing blood coming out.

I looked down at the floor and saw blood. It was my blood. My eyes widened. Blood. My blood. My slashed wrist. Blade in my hand. I panicked.

I yelped and threw the blade on floor. What have I done? I am regretting my decision. I went near wash basin and threw water on my face and kept doing it till I calmed down.

I washed the blade and kept it back at its place. I took a bath to calm myself. I am feeling better. I went inside room and took a nap.

~~~~~~

At 9:00 PM.

I woke up cause of a nightmare. I can't even sleep peacefully. It was already time for dinner.  I sighed.

Angel. Is she back? I want to see her. No. I don't want to see her. She told me to not to go near her.

I got fresh and went out of the room. I was walking while looking down. I suddenly bumped with someone. I flinched. I saw it was her. She was not angry like before.

I hung my head down. She told me to not go near her. I have to obey her not matter what. My feelings, my self respect doesn't matter at all.

Sumedh: Sorry.

I muttered. I can feel her gaze at me. I went ahead towards the dining table. I went and sat on my place, soon everyone came. She also came. 

Nobody was talking today. There was an awkward silence. I know it is because of me. I am not able to eat. This silence, this awkwardness, this ignorance of her is killing me from inside.

I forwarded my hand to to grab dal but because of my elbow, a glass of water fell down. I panicked. 

Memories came in front of my eyes. I can't forget what happened with me in that house. Those memories were horrible. The taunts. The slaps. The burns. The scars. I can't forget them.

I don't know when but my eyes were filled were tears and I was apologizing again and again. My hands were shivering. I badly need my medicines. 

Krish: Sumedh, pani hi to gira hai.

Mallika: Shaant ho jao, pani hi to hai.

My eyes were down all the time. I took deep breaths.

Sumedh: Pani hi to hai. Pani hi to hai.

I repeated again and again to assure myself. After sometime I was feeling calm. I looked up all attention was on me. I am feeling embarrassed.

I don't want to eat food. Everyone is looking at me. I suddenly felt a hand on my thigh. I yelped and stood up. It was her hand. My face is flushed cause of embarrassment.

Sumedh: Sorry.

I went from there. I practically ran from there. I went straight in room and hid my face in pillow.

Why I always mess up things? 

Why am I this pathetic? 

Why am I like this? 

Why can't I do anything nicely?

I want to cut myself again. No. I can't do that. But I want to.

I grabbed my bag and took two pills. I gulped it down with water. In some time these pills will start their work. 

I went in balcony and tried to divert my mind. From Angel. She is always on my mind these days. Her eyes. I can drown in them. Her nose is so cute. Her cheeks. Everything in her is so beautiful. 

But her anger, I hate that. I hate it so much. That night. Today's incident. 

Did I do wrong trusting her?

My head started spinning. The medicine started its work. I went to bed and drifted into sleep.

~~~~~~

At 5: 30 AM.

I woke up cause of a nightmare. I want some peace please. I have a gut feeling something will happen. I don't know it will happen in positive or negative. It always have been negative.

I went to get fresh. When I came back she was already in the room. But she was wearing a black bra and a jacket on it. She was looking devastating.

I felt heat rushing to my face. I turned my face. I feel shy. I suddenly felt something hard on my back. I stunned.

Mallika: Get ready. 

She threw a pair of cloths on bed. I slowly turned towards her.

Sumedh: K.. kyu? Aur tumne ye gun kyu pakdi hui hai?

I asked. My instincts are saying me to run.

Mallika: We are going to gym. And if you didn't follow my command I will shoot.

There was a smirk on her face and no emotions in her eyes. What happened to her? I am not scared but confused.

Sumedh: Kya keh rahi ho?

I heard a bang sound. I closed my eyes tightly. She shot in balcony. I gasped. She is damn serious.

Mallika: I will not repeat.

I took those cloths and went in washroom quietly. I saw it was a pair of black clothes. I don't like these clothes. These are half sleeves and black. 

I want to wear half sleeves but I can't. I can't go out without changing. I saw a closest. I took clothes from there and wore it. It was plain grey in colour.

She is forcing me. She wants me to obey her. It's wrong. she is doing same thing which Chacha ji and Chachi ji did with me. I will not sit quietly this time.

When I came out she didn't even glanced at me and grabbed my hand and took me with her on second floor. She took me in a room. This was gym. It was huge. 

Mallika: Go on treadmill.

I will not follow her. 

Sumedh: Nahi.

She looked at me with no emotions in her eyes. She directly aimed that gun at me. I am scared but I will not show it to her. Suddenly she shot at a mirror. It broke down into pieces with a loud sound. I flinched.

Mallika: Do. It.

Her voice. Something is in her voice. She can dominate me in seconds.

Sumedh: Nahi matlab nahi.

I said stubbornly.

She rubbed her temple and came near me. I stepped back soon, I was pinned to a wall. She put her hands on either sides of me. I was caged. 

I was panicking but I was trying my best to not to show it. I put shaking hands on wall.

Mallika: You don't know me yet. Mark my words. No one will know that person a name Sumedh Mudgalkar existed. Do it or else I will kill you right now right here.

She placed the gun at my heart. My eyes are moist. I am scared. I don't want to die. She can kill me. She leaned towards me. I am feeling disgusted. I turned my head and closed my eyes tightly.

Mallika: I will break you.

She whispered in my ear. Her hot breath falling on my skin. Her rose scent in breath taking. I shivered cause of its impact. 

She moved back and I released my breath.

Mallika: Start. 

I obliged, after that she forcefully made me exercise on gun point. I was hell tired by the end of it. She also did all those with me but she was not at all tired. How can she have this much energy?

I collapsed on the floor and took some breaths. My body in numb.

Mallika: Tired? 

She tsked. I ignored her and focused on my breath. 

Mallika: Get up and get fresh. We have to go down stairs for breakfast.

I shook my head. I don't have any energy left in me to even lift a single finger. My head is spinning.

Sumedh: Nahi.

I gasped. She pointed that gun at me. I yelped. She forcefully took me in the room. 

I just know something is gonna be very wrong with me.

Sumedh's POV Over

~~~~~~

Do check new Trigger Warning.

The most delicate phase of the book starts from here.

Word Count: 2210.

Target: 30 Votes. ON EVERY PART.