(y/n)'s POV

It was the middle of Sunday afternoon and I was reading in my room, sitting at my desk hunched over my book.

That was, until I was startled by a sudden buzzing sound, signaling I had gotten a text. I picked up my phone, reading the notification, which was a text from Janis saying "hey, we haven't talked in a while : )". I shrugged and entered in the passcode to my phone, opening our conversation.

Goth Gal🖤

hey, we haven't talked
in a while : )

yeah, it's been like a day.
what's up?

nothing much, hbu?

just reading rn

oh cool, what's
the book?

it's called When, it's pretty
good

sounds iNtRiUgiNg

wow okay i don't
appreciate this mockery

then leave me, book nerd

maybe i will.
bye bye. i have
reading to do
————————————————————

And with that, I closed that text conversation and reopened my book, curious to see what would happen next. I was planning on being an author when I grew up, so reading was always necessary. I should also have been writing a lot more, but I didn't want to push myself and subsequently burn out, losing almost all inspiration for whatever project it is I'm working on at any given time.

Hopefully I'd learn my limits so that didn't happen, but I'd be able to get things done and make enough money to survive during adulthood. Especially since survival is the key goal, at least most of the time. If not, you do you, but that was it for me.

I closed the book, not finding myself not nearly as immersed in the story as before I was rudely interrupted. Instead I went off in my train of thought, staring off into space as I thought.

I truly was smart, not a disappointment or a fuck-up at all. Absolutely not, nopity nope.

That thought train got dark really quickly, so I decided to shake my head and get up to go to the kitchen and warm up some leftover soup. I was a sucker for some good soup, all day any day.

I waited by the microwave for my soup to warm up and glanced lazily at my phone, opening and rereading my conversation with Janis, feeling a warm smile spread across my face, like butter on a really good piece of toast.

Something about her just made my heart feel all fluttery and my toes curl in my shoes. She was just so unique, unlike other kids at school.

No, this was not a "not like the other girls" type of moment. This was a "not like other humans in general which is a relief because I don't really like those" type of moment.

Anyway, as I fondly smiled down at my phone, I received a text from Cady so I switched over to our chat.

Caddy🦁

How's it going?

pretty okay, my friend.
how's it going with you?

Good! Aaron and I were
hanging out this morning
so that was fun.

oOoOh?! was it a date?? ;)

Of course not! Sure,
we've openly admitted to
liking each other but
that doesn't mean we're dating.

i dunno, hon. dating a college
boy while you're still in
high school? pretty badass
to most people (for some
reason, who even knows
anymore)

What does that have to
do with this?

i have no clue. but seriously
do you want to be dating him?

I'm not so sure I do, actually.
But I'm going with it
because I don't have any
better ideas

you don't have to have
better ideas, you could just
like not date and be
happy without a mAnS

That is true. What would
you do in this situation?
Go out with someone
who you know likes
you, or go after something
else? Maybe someone
you're more interested in?

i'd follow my heart, and
go after the different
person tbh, cliche as
it may be. but this is
your decision. do what feels
right to you, or you may end up
trapped in a situation
you really don't wanna be in

That's good advice, thank
you (y/n). I really owe
you one.

it's no problem my guy!!
now go, be a beautiful,
happy butterfly in a very
weird metaphor.
you got this
and I believe in you

I will, thanks a bunch!
————————————————————

Cady's POV

I set my phone facedown on my bed before flopping down, gazing up at the ceiling as a deep, guttural sigh ripped from my throat.

I still felt conflicted, but I knew what I had to do. I knew full well I didn't like Aaron anymore, not like a boyfriend anyway. (y/n) was a wise girl, she wouldn't intentionally lead me down the wrong path, right?

Thinking of (y/n) made weird, awkward butterflies flutter in my stomach. Wrong butterflies, ones that would make things a lot easier if I could just digest them already.

The pleasant feeling I was left with from talking to her was shadowed by the disgust I felt about myself.

She and Janis were basically together, I couldn't think of her like that.

With her, it was either break Janis' heart or mine. And I chose myself, I decided, as I sat up, lifting my body off of my comfortable bed to look at my pictures of myself in Africa.

I chose to break my own heart, because I loved Janis like she was my sister. I refused to hurt her once again. She deserved better than a rotten friend who did nothing for her when it came down to it.

But, I decided, a little daydreaming couldn't hurt. As long as I didn't actively pursue her, it was fine to pine after (y/n), right? Just a little bit?

I set off into my daydreams, imagining her confessing her love to me. It made me feel better about the whole ordeal going on in my head. Things were hurting, everything was on fire in my brain.

Just a bit of peace, I thought. I just needed some peace.

(1007 words)