Nikolai

"What are we doing here, Nikolai?" Ryssa asked as we stepped into Inked.

"I need to get something," I answered as I walked towards my office. When I noticed she wasn't behind me, I went to look for her.

"Ryssa?" I called out. I started to get worried when she didn't respond. I walked towards the restrooms and tapped on the door. "Ryssa?"

"One second," she responded with a shaky voice.

I close my eyes tight. I could tell she was crying and it pained me more than I wanted to admit. I knew what happened to her tonight was my fault and I felt guilty about it.

I waited by the door until she came out and I noticed when she was wiping her eyes. Clearing my throat, I said, "Stay with me. It's not safe."

She followed me to my office and I had a hard time sliding my desk over with my injury. When I finally got it out of the way, I knelt down and threw back the rug.

She came around my desk to stand behind me and I heard her sharp intake of breath. "Is that a floor safe?"

"Yes." I put in the combination before opening it to retrieve my black duffle bag. I unzipped it and pulled out some cash before putting the extra gun that I was carrying inside. I kept Rick's on me until we got to the hotel I was taking Ryssa to.

"Who are you?"

I could tell by her panicked tone that she saw what was in my bag. As much as I tried to escape my old life, I wasn't stupid. I always knew that it could sneak up on me and I kept this bag as a precaution.

My bag carried a few of my old guns, ammunition, some clothes, and cash. I zipped up the bag before setting it on my desk. I grabbed my black leather jacket that was hanging on my chair and put it on; trying to cover the wound on my arm.

I turned to Ryssa and tried to make my voice as calm as possible. "I'm going to explain everything to you, I promise. Right now, we need to make one more stop before I can do that. Okay?"

She hesitated and worried her bottom lip. I hated myself in that moment. She didn't ask for this and she certainly didn't deserve it. "Okay," she said softly.

We left my shop and headed towards the nearest RiteAid. Luckily, there was one right down the street.

When Rick's gun went off in my apartment, the bullet unfortunately grazed my left arm. Even though it wasn't bad, I was still bleeding pretty good and needed to get the wound closed immediately. Since it was just a graze, I should be able to find what I needed here to stop the bleeding.

"I need some first-aid stuff for my wound," I told her as I scanned The isle for what I needed. They had the closest thing I could find to sutures and Lidocaine. I grabbed the items, along with bandages, before walking to the liquor.

Ryssa scoffed from behind me. "Nice. We can drink our troubles away."

"It's not only for that. It works also as an antiseptic." I grabbed a bottle of whiskey before walking to also get some snacks for us.

I told her to get whatever she wanted, and she told me she wasn't hungry. I told her it would be best if she went ahead and grabbed something to eat. It was going to be a little while before we could get food again.

She finally selected a few things that she liked and we quickly cashed out and started to head towards a hotel. While we were walking, I tried to think of what I was going to tell her. I didn't know if I should tell her everything about my past.

I knew she deserved the whole truth, but I was worried about piling too much on her. She was already pretty shaken about everything that happened.

It wasn't hard to find one of those pay by the hour hotels and I gave the guy enough cash to last for a few days. Ryssa remained silent as she stayed close to me and followed me to our room. Part of me wanted to know what she was thinking, and the other part of me didn't want to know.

I set my duffle bag and the grocery bags on the bed before I carefully shrugged out of my jacket. I clenched my teeth and groaned since the wound was so fresh and tender.

I tried and failed to pull my t-shirt over my head on account of my adrenaline wearing off. I was definitely starting to feel my injury.

"Let me help," Ryssa said from behind me.

I turned towards her and held her gaze for a moment. In my old life, I never had anyone to help me when I was injured. I always took care of that shit by myself.

Too surprised by her kindness to say anything, I simply nodded. I grimaced as she lifted the bottom of my shirt and helped me get it off.

She stepped beside me and assessed my injury. "It looks like it hurts."

A sarcastic laugh escaped me as I walked over to the bag to get the first aid items. "Yeah, it fucking hurts." I started to get everything opened when I frowned at some of the snacks she got. "Really?" I asked in an amused tone as I held up the box of Twinkies.

"What? It's comfort food," she explained defensively.

I shook my head at her as I tried to reach the wound with difficulty. She walked up beside me and put her hand over mine.

"Let me," she said softly.

"It's fine, Ryssa. I got it," I countered a little harsher than I wanted.

"Sit down, Nikolai. Let me help you."

Her tone caught me off guard and I did as she asked. "Spray some of that lidocaine on it first. Then pout some of that whiskey on a towel and you can clean the wound with that."

She started cleaning the area and I fisted my hands from how much it hurt.
I know she was being as gentle as she could, but this was pretty fucking brutal. As far as bullet grazes go, this one was a little too deep.

"So, I think now is a good time to tell me what the hell is going on, Nikolai."

I let out a long breath. "How much do you want to know?"

"All of it. And please tell me the truth."

Where to start? "Do you know where I'm from?"

"I know you're not from New York, but I don't know where you lived before."

Here goes. "I'm from Detroit, originally. I'm not going to go into my childhood, but let's just say it led me to live my life a little recklessly." I winced when she pulled the skin of my wound together.

"Sorry," she said with sympathy clear in her voice.

"It's okay," I said between clenched teeth before I continued my story. "I grew up in probably one of the worst parts of Detroit and crime was something I witnessed regularly. I ended up choosing the gang life."

"Have you ever-- you know..."

"Killed anyone?" I asked when she trailed off. It was a fair question. After all, I got her involved in all this and now she's in a hotel room alone with me. "No," I answered honestly, "I haven't. I never wanted to do that so I became invaluable with other skills to get out of it."

She continued to suture the wound closed. "Like fighting?" She asked.

"Yes, and a few others," I admitted. 

"So, why did you move to New York?" 

"I was tired of that life. Tired of looking over my shoulder and dealing with cops. Tired of beating the shit out of people. Just...tired. I wanted a change." I let out a deep breath before continuing, "So, I paid the price to leave the gang life and I moved here to open Inked."

I was glad when she didn't ask me what that price was. Although, most of it was on my fucking back. Instead she asked, "Now, what does this all have to do with me? I mean, clearly those men were from your past."

"I got a call a few days ago from Rick. He was the leader when I left and used to be a good friend. He wants me to do a job for him," I explained.

"What kind of job?"

"I don't know. I didn't ask. I immediately refused because I didn't want to get dragged back into that shit."

She did a little snort and I found it adorable. "Clearly, he didn't like that."

"No," I sighed. "After you left the shop earlier I stayed for awhile before going home. He was there waiting for me."

She was finished with my wound and cleaned her hands before sitting next to me on the bed. "What happened?"

"He was talking shit. He wanted me to do this job. I kept refusing." I closed my eyes tight for the next part. "Then he pulled out his cell phone and called Nick." I met her gaze. "Nick was at Down the Rabbit Hole."

I saw understanding dawn on her. "He was following me. Why?"

I got nervous and glanced away. "They saw me with you the night we went downtown. They think there is something going on between us and they wanted to use you to get to me."

When she didn't answer right away, I looked up at her. In that moment, I wanted to know what she was thinking. I wanted to know if she was thinking about the same thing I was: our almost kiss.

Her eyes dropped to my mouth and I got my answer. Before I knew what I was doing, I leaned in slightly. She cleared her throat as she got to her feet; and I didn't blame her.

"So, what now? We can't hide here forever," she quipped and she was right.

I got up and turned to her. "I have to see what this job is. Rick isn't going to stop bothering us unless I agree to it."

"What if it's something bad?"

I heard the worry in her voice and I wished I could take it away. "I don't think I have a choice." I looked away before I continued. "There are people in my life now that I...I care about. I can't risk something happening to them."

I grabbed some clothes from my duffle bag and set them on the bathroom counter. I examined my wound in the mirror. Ryssa actually did a great job with it.

I walked back out to where she was standing. "Thank you. For helping me," I said as I gestured to the wound.

"I should be thanking you," she said with a small smile. "You saved my life."

All I could think about in that moment, was how beautiful she was. When I reached out and cupped the side of her face, she didn't turn away this time. She licked her lips and that was all the invitation I needed.

I pulled her against me, and crushed my mouth to hers.