Italics- thoughts/ flashbacks/ dreams

Bold- author talking

Underline- narrator talking, known as the main character

Normal- normal story

2472 words

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I close the computer and put it on the couch arm rest. My manz wants to be next to me but a sleeping Pierce has pressed himself against my thigh. They are doing too much. The sunlight is pretty. I poke Death's bicep before I noticed he was already watching me. Oh. He takes my hand and kisses the back of it.

He makes me smile. He makes my heart smile too. I watch the wind tickle tree tops on the window's other side for a few seconds. The birds have started making little communities around the area. It's so enticing to see the bird nests slowly be built every year instead of seeing them magically appear.

I turn back to my manz, "all the jobs around here suck."

"What about the little store you got fired from? "

"Nah, that would just be embarrassing. I'm also a lazy bum and don't wanna do pottery anymore. I did find this one that was interesting though."

"And what was that, αγάπη μου?"

"I could be a personal assistant."

"For who?"

Oh fuck I can't remember the guy's name. "Uhhhh... some dude in some big fat building somewhere."

He looks mildly concerned and confused. "There are many of those."

I grab my computer and open it back up, then go to the search history and find the information on the advertisement. I gave him the computer. Within half a second, only looking at the name, he closes it, a 'doh' from the computer. Pierce lifts his floofy head up and watches my manz, he also looks at me before turning back to my manz.

"What?" I pet mister old Pierce's ear, he leans into my hand. Awwww.

My manz gives me the computer back, "you wouldn't get along with him."

"Oh, why not?" He looks disappointed, not towards me though. I'm too amazing.

He holds up his hand and unfolds a finger as he lists things, "he is rude, he commits tax fraud, he is controlling, extremely weird, I can go on. You wouldn't be happy."

Well I wanna be happy so not that job. "Do you know him?"

"Never heard of him."

"Then how do you know this?" I hope he's not making all this up. I don't wanna be lied to. Oh my God what If he is a yandere and wants to keep me all to himself? But then he wouldn't have gotten me a pet... it could be a ploy.

Shut up.

"The spirits tell me anything I want to know about a particular person. They tell me things about everyone, mostly when I don't ask."

He looks sad. What if the spirits are trauma dumping but like for other people? That be crazy. Actually, that would be rude and insensitive of them.

Who even are the spirits? Maybe it's the holy Trinity but that wouldn't make sense. My brain isn't braining.

I don't want him to look sad. I boop Pierce's nose before picking his goofy looking furry self up and putting him on the other side of me. He wines, I poke his ear which cares him off guard, he huffs before going back to sleep.

I scoot closer to my manz and hold his hand, "do you have any job ideas?"

He kisses the back of my hand, the one holding his. "This is up to you."

"Yea but I have no idea where to start."

"Look for part time jobs."

I thought he would say don't work. "Why part time?"

He puts an arm under the back of my knees and the other across my back. He makes me sit on his lap but I'm perpendicular to him. I'm so confused.

He smiles, "I can't love you all day if you're gone all day, no?"

"Then why not say don't work or something?"

"If you want to work then work, this is your life and I'm not in charge of it. I won't tell you not to do something you want to do."

"You're lying. Many times you wouldn't let me do things I wanna do."

"You can't steal people's dogs from the streets."

"I knooowwwww." Goofy man. "You won't let me get a pet giraffe."

He leans back on the couch and since I'm leaning on him, I'm more sideways now . He kisses my forehead, "there is no space here for a giraffe."

I look around the apartment and the floor to the ceiling space. "It can fit, it will just sit down a lot. I can take it on a lot of walks."

He smiles at me like I'm crazy and rubs my back, "do you not know how big a giraffe is?"

"They're tall but you're tall and you fit."

He shakes his head. "I'll take you to see them one day. You clearly have no idea how big a giraffe is."

Oh that's exciting. "Really?" He nods. I always wanted to see giraffes. I'm so happy now. Now I have to not squeal and die of excitement and impatientness.

He rewraps his arms around me and has me closer to him, his right arm around my legs and left around my waist and back. He hides his face in the tide of my neck.

He kisses my shoulder, "I love you so much." He tightens his arms around me as if I'ma float away like a balloon.

I'm a mouse pig puppy butterfly and whatever the hell else, not a damn balloon. Balloons are so pretty though, well the right ones anyways.

I run my hands through his very dark and pretty hair that reminds me of winter nights. "I love you a lot too. Sometimes I love you so much that my heart hurts because of all the love so I start panicking instead."

He sits up and looks at me like I'm crazy for a second before he starts laughing. Him laughing makes me laugh and I don't know why I'm laughing.

After a minute he puts his left hand on the right side of my face and wipes away the tears off my face with his thumb. Why the hell am I crying? What the fuck?!

"That is the most stupid but sweetest thing anyone has ever told me." He kisses my nose.

Awe. "It's cuz I'm amazing."

He hums in agreement. I lean my temple on his shoulder. I'm not taller anymore, such a shame. And I'm all scrunched up, my side anyways. Shut up you look cute like this.

I hear no talking for a while. Just breathing, Pierce's snoring every other second and the outside world. The cars, trucks, people, traffic and sounds of the Earth spinning, daily life of normal people. The fish tank too.

My entire being is so happy right now. I feel like I belong here, with these people, well beings. I never felt like I belonged anywhere except for one minute at one time. I don't want to stay in bed wasting precious time anymore, I don't want to miss seeing the sunrises and sunsets anymore. I want to watch them with my manz, my cuddle buddy, my so-called husband. I want to watch them with Pierce too.

I want to do the things everyone else does. I want to go to the beach for the first time, go to an amusement park, go on a Ferris wheel, and go camping. Things I never got to do that everyone else has, I wanna work a normal job, watch time go by, be conscious of what I'm doing. I want to enjoy things, enjoy the moment.

I want to live life, I want to be living. I've been alive long enough, now I want to do things. I want to be better too, for me, for them, for the public.

Learn how to calm down, how to not be stressed, how to be happy without killing myself in the process. Learn that I don't need to buy things for people so they'll be nice to me, how to take care of myself, how to be brave. I need to learn so much. I also need to learn that I have time to learn all this.

No more panicking about time, no more self-pressure to do amazing impossible shit every 5 minutes to feel worthy for people. I need to make peace with my mind, so it stops hating me.

I look at my manz who is staring at the white wall trim on the bottom of the wall. "Can you teach me to be more like you? I wanna be better."

He looks at me, heh I'm taller. "I love the way you are, you don't need to be me to be a better version of yourself. Don't be like me."

"But you're brave and smart and all the other shit."

"So are you."

"But I ignore all my problems all the time."

"As do I."

"I'm scared of everything."

"Me too."

"What are you scared of?" He doesn't talk and watches the floor for some time. "You don't have to say if you don't want to."

He shakes his head, "no it's fine. I have to learn."

"Learn what?"

"How to talk about things."

He does talk about things. Well I'm sure not everything because that would be crazy, not like me at all, I definitely don't over share my life in 5 minut-

"I'm scared of losing you... I'm scared of not being by you or you not wanting to be by me. I'm scared of the voices in my mind, I'm scared of hell, I'm scared of Lucifer, I'm scared of heaven, I'm scared of God and Michael. I'm scared of myself, I'm scared of outer space and the other universes. I'm scared of whips, being overpowered and weak, I'm scared of yelling and fighting. I'm scared of watching the people I love die over and over again or die to never be seen again. I'm scared of my mind when I'm asleep, I'm scared of my memories. I'm scared of all the power I don't want, I'm scared of ruining the universe, I'm scared of losing my world. I'm scared of the day you stop letting me sleep with you, stay next to you, talk to you. I'm scared of everything." He looks at me with tears in his tanzanite eyes, "don't leave me, I can't lose you either..."

I wrap my arms around him as he cries on my shoulder. "Poor baby, I'm right here, it's alright. There won't be a day where I stop talking to you, where I don't want you by me. I want to be with you."

Of course I love Athena and Pikachu and my fish just as much but this feels like some drug that I'm addicted to. Is this why there's 50 bajillion songs about love being a drug?

I intertwine my hand with his hand that's still wrapped around my legs.

"Distract me," he said, his breath hot on my skin.

"What do you want to do?"

"Anything."

"Anything?"

He sits up normally and looks at me weird, "that's what I said."

The most amazing idea comes into my head. "We can clean the fishes' tank together, oh it's so fun-" I hate cleaning the fish tank "-have you ever cleaned a fish tank before?"

"No."

"Have you ever had fish before?"

"No."

"Now you do."

"You cleaned it 2 days ago."

"I did?" I look at the tank and see it's clean, "oh. I don't think I have any perception of time."

He grins. "I agree."

"We will watch a movie instead." A great idea comes into my dumb ass brain, "oooorrrrrrrrrr we can go see giraffes, like right now." Then the best idea ever comes into my equally as stupid mind, "oooorrrrrrr you can marry me alreadyyyyyy."

I get off of him and stand in front of him before getting down on one knee and holding my hands up like I got a ring or something, I'm too poor to afford that shit. "See, this thing but like, with a ring, it could even be from Shien for all I care- actually they're evil so not them, they don't deserve your 3 dollars. How about Walmart? Or Sam's club? Does Costco have jewelry? I haven't been there for half a lifetime. Wait! Don't marry me yet cuz I gotta get a ring too, and the dress, and we gotta get everything else. Oh my God, I'ma be negative broke."

He sighs as I get off the ground and grab the tv remote. It turns on before I push any buttons. I turn around to my manz, he's looking at the tv surprised too. It starts going through all the channels faster than the remote buttons could ever make it.

"Are you making it do that?"

"How could I? I'm over here."

I look at the 5 feet of space between the couch and TV. "Yes, very far apart. There is no way you can't manipulate the TV so far away, let alone when you made the TV in my parents house play the Conjuring and you were even farther away from it then you are from this one."

He shrugs, "glitch in the matrix? It isn't glitching."

I turn around to see the TV starting up like I just pushed the button even though I haven't yet. My brain stops functioning. "What? How?"

I hear the couch squeak and he walks in front of me. No big fat boots making noise. This is deja vu but many things are different. No stupid leather pants, no fear, no loneliness. There's a snoring Pierce, birds outside, sunlight, the fish tank filter is the same.

I look at my manz, the many things around me too. The walls are the same, the TV is in the same spot, everything as if these past months didn't happen, as if I just came home from New Year's break and I gotta deal with his bullshit another day.

But no, he looks different, even as this minute passes, he doesn't look deranged or evil. He doesn't look threatening, he doesn't look miserable. He looks like a sweet guy who has been fucked over by life and just wants to keep his happiness.

I don't feel bored, scared, anxious or annoyed by everything. I don't feel like I need to escape life or get validated by Athena every 5 minutes. I feel loved. Something almost no one can make me feel, no one can give me. I feel it, all the time. I have someone to love and to love me.

He takes the remote from my hand and puts something on before picking me up and sitting us on the couch.

This is a strange deja vu...

Or is it remaking old memories?

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I love this chapter, it's just 😘🤌

After being in a writing slump for some months, this is just amazing. I swear it's the weather.

Spring is my favorite from school ending to the perfect weather to the longer days. But winter is what does it for me 😩 I don't know what it is but something about the cold weather and trying to stay warm just helps me write so much.

*Aggressively loves winter and my writing style during it.*

I also LOVE the cold 👹 like AGGRESSIVELY LOVE it 👹👺😵‍💫🤧😤🤠😈

I'm the one that goes outside in shorts when it's -20 degrees out and there's piles of snow. (Well I would if Mom would let me)

And here is the pose I was trying to make them in earlier with me oH sO aMaZiNg describing skills. 

It's from the Pinterest board I made for the story. I was nowhere close to describing it accurately but I'm too lazy to change it.