Chapter 26 - I tried and I already did my best but I just cant erase you from my life

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Posted on 4 September 2015

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Enjoy~

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Hana's point of view

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Splash!

I splashed cold waters on my face, that I let it flood in my sink.

I looked up and stared into a mirror infront of me.

I released a big sighed until my voice echoed in my whole bathroom.

I took a towel then wiped my whole face that already wet with cold water.

I went out from my bathroom then quickly dressed up into my school uniform. I walked towards the mirror and observed my outfit carefully.

"Nice.", I said while smiled brightly.

I quickly grabbed my school bag and slided it on my back. I went downstairs and approached my parents that were eating breakfast peacefully in the kitchen.

"Mornin' Mom, Dad.", I wished a good morning to my Mom and Dad with a bright smile.

"Mornin'."

"Morning, sweety."

I quickly took a seat on a chair infront of Dad.

"Honey, are you okay? You look pale.", Dad suddenly asked me when I'm about to shove a roast bread into my mouth.

I looked up and gave Dad a weird look.

"Did I? But I'm okay, Dad. No worries.", I replied with a smile then continued eating.

"Ha, dont tell me its the effect of your accident? Oh god, sweety. I told you to take a rest for a few more days but you refused.", Mom placed a plate next to Dad's plate then she sat beside Dad.

"Nahh, I dont think so. Maybe its just because I dont get enough sleep last night. Dont worry, guys. I feel really better today.", I said then stood up with my bagpack.

"Already going?", Mom asked.

"Its still early tho.", Dad said while looked at a clock on the wall.

I nodded then said, "Yup, I just feel like going early today."

Mom sighed while Dad just nodded his head.

"Take care, Hana. Please be careful.", Mom said then gave a peck on my cheek.

"Woohyun still busy with his school project? He still cant accompany you to school?", Dad asked then took a glance at me.

"O-Oh, um yeah. Still.", I replied then awkwardly smile but I'm sure they didnt notice it.

I saw Dad just nodded then continued eating his breakfast.

I waved a goodbye towards both of them then I wore my shoes and walked out from the house.

I opened the front door and I expected to see an empty, cold street and which is I'm right.

Theres no one. No Nam Woohyun.

I sighed.

"This is the truth. W-Well, I need to adapt to this situation as soon as possible..", I mumbled to myself then I closed the fromt door and went towards the gate.

I pushed the gate and went out. I locked it then I turned around and..

"Hey."

I flinched and almost fall because of my unstable body but thankfully the boy before me caught me up.

I put my arms around his neck while his right hand was around my waist. Our face was separated by just a few inches. I could feel his breath on my face and its gave me a ticklish feeling in my heart.

Then, I quickly stood up and pushed him away lightly on his chest.

I fixed my uniform and my hair and coughed awkwardly.

"W-What are you doing here?", I asked then walked passed him.

He quickly caught me up and walked with the same speed as me.

"For my usual routine, of course. Pick you up and accompany you then went to school together.", He said then suddenly linked his arm with mine.

W-What..

My heart beats really fast that it could pop out from my chest anytime.

I quickly shoved his hand away.

"W-What do think you're doing, Nam Woohyun?", I asked then looked at him.

Woohyun looked at me but strangely, he just gave me a really bright smile that I missed all these times.

Ugh.. Dont smile at me like that, Nam Woohyun. Its unfair.

"Nothing. Just doing the things that we usually do.", Woohyun said then put his arm in again with mine.

Things we usually do? What does he mean by that?

"I-I dont know what you're talking about and let me go.", I said then wanna shove his hand for the second time but failed.

"Nope. We're going like this.", Woohyun insists and he keep his arm in my arm.

What the hell is wrong with this amnesia boy? Is he getting worst?

I sighed.

I ignored him and just keep walking while he still linked his arm with mine. We're walking together to school.

I heard he was humming a song that I dont even know what song it is while bobbed his head up and down followed the music he was humming maybe.

I shook my head in dibelief. He look so cute..

I took a glance at him.

"Why are you doing this, Woohyun?", I asked him with a low tone then I sighed again.

When I was about to forget about you and give up on you, why are you suddenly doing this to me?

He stopped humming. I didnt dare to look at him and just keep walking while facing infront.

Woohyun suddenly stopped walking and automatically, I also stopped walking cuz his arm linked to mine.

I looked at him with a confused gaze.

He just looked at me and he suddenly took my hand and brought it to his face and unexpectedly, he kissed the top of my hand.

"Y-Yah, N-Nam Woohyun. What are you doing?", I stuttered with eyes widen opened while looked a his shocked action.

He ignored me and then he suddenly spinned my hand and revealed my palm.

He leaned in and kissed my palm afterwards.

"Why is your hand so cold? Are you sick?", Woohyun mumbled while stared at my hand.

I trembled. God, why is he being like this?

After a few seconds, he finally let my hand go and looked up at me.

"I-I'm fine.", I said with a shaking voice then pulled my hand from his grip.

I quickly turned around and walked away.

He quickly walked with the same speed as mine.

"Yah, wait for me.", Woohyun said then he held my hand.

"Y-Yah, what is wrong with you today, Nam Woohyun-ssi?", I widen my eyes towards him but end up earned a chuckled from him.

"I love it when you calling my name. It sounds so nice.", Woohyun said then he squeezed my hand lightly and I felt a strange feeling inside me.

He is so weird today. But to be really honest, I missed this so much. Its feel like we are being back together.

"Are you sure you didnt eat anything weird this morning?", I asked him without look at him but I could feel he kept staring at me since awhile ago.

"What do you mean?", Woohyun asked while smiling innocently.

"You know what I mean.", I replied then glared at him.

Woohyun suddenly laughed.

"This is who I am. Why? Feel different?", Woohyun said then he looked at me closely.

Now, his face already right infront of me.

Oh god..

I quickly step backwards.

"N-No. Its feel weird.", I replied then quickly walk passed him.

I heard he giggled behind me. I just cant afford myself to not smile.

*****

-Throwback : Lunch time-

I always avoided Woohyun for the whole day.

Whenever I saw him, I turned around and walked back.

Whenever, he raised his hand up and called my name, I quickly took out my phone and pretend to talking with someone on my phone then walk passed him as if I didnt see him.

Whenever, I saw he try to walk towards my desk, I quickly put my head on my desk then pretend to sleep and so he backed away.

Awhile ago, when I came out from the office room, he waited for me at the outside of the room.

I'm shocked. Really shocked.

He asked me if I'm okay and I said, "Yes, I'm okay."

Then, I wanted to walk away but he suddenly grabbed my arm.

I automatically turned back and looked at him.

"You are avoiding me."

"I dont."

"You are."

"I said, I dont! And now, can you please let me go? Its annoying!", was what I said.

Then, he looked very surprised and let me go slowly. I smacked my hand from him and walked away.

I felt really regretted for doing that and moreover after I saw his hurtful expression. But, that was my only choice. I have to forget about him. This is the only way.

*****

-In the classroom-

"Yah, Yoo Hana-ssi. Now, please tell me where and when did it happened?", Chorong suddenly barged to me and asked.

"What happened?", I asked with a confused expression.

"You know what I mean~", Chorong said then she poked me on my arm.

"I seriously dont know.", I shook my head.

I saw she rolled her eyes then she looked at me back.

"You with Woohyun. When did you guys gets back together?", Chorong said then she sticked soclose to me.

Me and Woohyun? Get back together?

"Are you kidding me?", I asked her with a surprised tone.

"Okay, what was that supposed to mean?", Chorong asked with a confused tone.

"I mean, theres no way I will get back together with Woohyun cuz--", But before I could finish my words, Chorong suddenly pinched me lightly on my thigh.

I glared at her then I saw she was pointing somewhere with her eyes so I followed her view and saw Woohyun exactly stood behind me.

I gasped. D-Did he hear me..?

Then, he ignored both of us and walk passed us like nothing happened.

"I guess not.", Chorong said as she could read my mind.

I just nodded my head and continued my words.

".. I mean, theres no way I will get back together with Woohyun cuz he will never love me back.", I said then focused back at Chorong.

"Why did you think like that? I mean, you guys dated for years before tho.", Chorong asked then put her elbows on my desk then put her chin on her palms.

... because he didnt remember about me and never will.

I just shrugged then started doing my own works. I heard Chorong sighed then she went back to her place.

I put down my pen when she left.

My heart felt really hurt and my head is in pain too. I dont even know why.

I kinda feel tired today..

I looked around and saw Sungjong at the back of the class. He was playing with some of his friends.

"Sungjong!", I shouted for his name.

Sungjong turned his head and looked at me.

"I'm going to the nurse room, okay? Please tell the teacher later for me.", I said with a loud voice then waved at him.

"Why? Do you feel sick, Hana?", Sungjong asked then he quickly walked towards me, leaving his friends.

"Aish. Why did you come here? Go and play with your friends back. I am fine~ I just want you to tell the teacher later, kay?", I said then spinned him around and pushed his back to his friends.

"Really? But--", Sungjong wanted to say more but I refused him from talking more by pushed him towards his friend and he almost fall forward.

"Please help me, kay~", I said while giggled when I saw his pissed off expression.

Then, I quickly walked away as I felt my head started spinning around.

I really need a rest for now..

*****

I slided the nurse room door and walked in. But there was no one in the room.

Maybe the teacher gone eating or else.

I walked towards the corner and sat on a bed that already being put there. I slided the white curtains so it covered my spot.

I lay on the bed and pulled the blanket up till it reached my chest.

"Uhh.. why am I feeling so tired today..", I mumbled to myself then without notice, I fell into a deep sleep.

.

...

....

....

....

....

"Hana.."

I feel like someone was calling my name..

"Yoo Hana.."

It sounds like.. a boy..?

"Hana.. I miss you so much.."

Hm? Its sounds familiar..

"Hana.. why did you always avoided me? Am I really that bad?"

Avoid? Bad?

"Dont you love me anymore, Hana..?"

Love?

I slowly opened my eyes and my sight still blurry but its slowly getting better.

"W-Woohyun..?", I said when I saw Woohyun infront of me while sat next to the bed where I rest on.

Am I dreaming..?

"Yes, its me, your Namu.", I heard he said while carrased my face.

I cant believe it. This is totally a dream. How could he remember his one and only nickname that I gave him when we were together..?

"Are you sick, Hana?", He asked then carassed my cheek while smiled painfully at me.

This is a dream. He will never treat me this way after the accident.

"Hey, why are you smiling this painful, Woohyun?", I asked with a sad tone while touched his cheek softly.

He shook his head.

"Um~ I'm not. I am just..", He said then he paused for a moment. Suddenly, I saw a tears in his eyes.

"Hey, you shouldnt cry in my dream, Woohyun-ah..", I said while chuckled then I wiped his tears. My eyes also already teared up.

He suddenly stared at me.

"Hana.. Why did you avoid me? Is this my punishment for what I've done to you..?", He asked then sticked close to me.

Its weird but I could feel warm feeling from his touch..

I literally shook my head when I heard him.

"No.. you didnt do anything wrong to me.. Even if you did, I already forgave you for a long time ago, Woohyun..", I replied him with a sad smile.

I love this dream. I dont want this to end. I miss his touch so much and this dream make me happy cuz his touch in this dream feel so.. real.

"Then, Hana.. Do you hate me?", He asked again then stroked my hair smoothly.

"Ani. I'm not..", I answered him then gave him a smile again.

"Then.. why are you avoiding me..?", He asked then took my hand and put it on his cheek.

I slowly sat up straight on the bed and looked at him.

"I dont know.. I just think that I.. I-I should stop and give up on you, Woohyun..", I said while tears still in my eyes.

I saw Woohyun shook his head then he looked at me with his sparkle eyes.

"Dont.. Please dont.. I love you so much, Hana..", He begged me then he suddenly sat on the bed, so close to me.

Ugh. How I wish this is a reality. But unfortunately, this is just a dream.

I looked at him and my eyes started to get blurry cuz I'm tearing up right now.

"I dont want too, Woohyun.. But..", I stopped my words when Woohyun suddenly cupped my face.

"Sshh, this is a dream, right? So, no 'but's.", He said then smiled while looked at me.

Our faces are too close. My heart cant handle this distance.

I just could nodded. This feel so real.. I'm gonna cry soon enough..

"Hey, you remember our promise, right?", Woohyun said while carrased my cheeks with his thumbs.

Promise?

I nodded, "I remember. Always be."

He gave me wide smile.

"Then, please. Dont betray our promise. So, you cant leave me. You cant.", He said, more like gave me an order.

I chuckled.

I feel so happy right now cuz I finally got to see my old Woohyun. The Woohyun that didnt get an amnesia. The Woohyun that always love me. The Woohyun that afraid to lose me, so do I. The Woohyun that always smile at me. The Woohyun that never hurt me.

Eventho, this is just a dream but I am so happy..

I moved my hands and touched Woohyun's hands that held my face.

"I wont.", I promised him.

Well, this is just a dream. Not a reality.

He smiled brightly then hugged me tightly.

"I love you, Hana. So much..", He said between our hugs.

Ohgod.. please let me live in this dream. I love this so much.

I nodded in his arms. I almost cry but I quickly wiped it.

"Hey, get a rest, okay? I need to go somewhere.", He said then he pushed me down lightly on the bed.

He pulled the blanket up till my chest.

I stared at his actions. I missed all of this so much.

He also stared at me then he suddenly leaned in and kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes as I wanted to feel his last kiss cuz when I wake up, there will be none of these again.

"Take a good rest, okay beautiful?", He said then smiled at me.

Its gonna end soon..

I nodded then replied his smile.

"Bye..", He bid me a goodbye then he slided open the curtains.

He didnt close it back and just walked towards the door.

I just looked at Woohyun's figure that walked away then I quickly closed my eyes.

Things got dark.

*****

I opened my eyes slowly and tried to get used to my surrounding.

Its a nurse room..

I sat up straight on my bed. My head felt really dizzy and spinning.

Maybe because of too much sleep.

I looked around and saw a strange thing that really bothered me.

Why was the curtains slided open? I did close it back then.

I looked out and saw no one. Even the teacher that on duty isnt here yet.

Thats weird.

I shrugged then got up slowly from my bed as my head still spinning inside.

Hmm, its really a pity that what I dreamed before was just a dream..

I patted my bottom and my uniform then walked out from the nurse room.

I already missed the whole classes for today. I just shouldnt have come today. Aish.

I went to my classroom and walked in. I saw my bag was still there while all my classmates bags already gone.

They already went back home?

I looked at my watch that I wore around my wrist.

Eh? But.. its still early tho. Two hours and half till the bell ring.

"Hm, well maybe today class got canceled.", I made my own reason then picked up my bag and slided it on my back.

Sungjong or Chorong or even Taehyung should tell me tho. Aish these useless friends, really..

I pissed off. I quickly walked out from the class and went downstairs.

When I arrived at the end of the stairs, I walk passed a school's gym.

This gym really brings back memory. The moment when me and Woohyun got stucked in this gym and both of us, told each other everything that we felt deep inside our heart. That time was really..heartbreaking.

I sighed then walked out towards the school's gate.

From afar, I saw a really familiar figure was standing exactly outside the gate.

Wait. Is that.. Woohyun?

I looked at him weirdly cuz he was just standing there, on the empty road while faced me.

What did he think he was doing??

I quickly walked towards him.

When I was about a few meters away from him, he suddenly stopped me.

"Stop!", He scolded me. I flinched then immediately stopped my steps.

"W-Woohyun, what do you think you are doing? Where is everybody? Why is there no one in the class? Are they already gone back home?", I asked so many questions to Woohyun but he just smiled, sadly (?).

"Probably.", He answered.

Hm?

"What do you mean--", I wanted to ask him again but he cut my words.

"Listen! Yoo Hana.", He said while looked at me.

Now, both of us were separated by the school gate. He stood outside the school while I'm still inside. He was standing there on the road while held his bagpack on his left shoulder and I'm really glad that the road is empty.

"Its been a long time, I wanted to say this thing to you..", Woohyun said while looked down.

"Hana, I'm sorry..", Woohyun said again but this time he looked up and looked at me.

I cant concentrate on his words when I saw there are some bikes and cars on the road.

Ohmygod..

"Wait, Nam Woohyun. Can you please at least stay away from the road??", I asked him with a worried voice.

He is too close with the road and its really scared me.

I saw he suddenly shook his head.

"No. You need to listen and answer my questions first.", He said with a cold voice while stared at me.

"Are you freakin insane?! There is no time to play along with your stupid jokes in the middle of busy road!", I scolded him with a loud voice. I glared at him.

I'm not mad at you but I just feel so scared. I dont want the same things that happened in both our life to happen again. Please, Nam Woohyun. Eventho, you dont need me anymore but I need you..

Suddenly, I heard he chuckled.

I looked at him strangely.

"You must be really hate me so much, dont you, Hana?", Woohyun said with a sad smirked on his face.

W-What..

Then, I saw some cars started honking when they saw Woohyun too close at the side of the road.

"God, Woohyun please. Listen to me first! Get away from the road, you pabbo!", I yelled then walked towards him.

I opened the gate before me and walked out. I want to walk towards him and pull him but he suddenly shouted at me.

"Stop! Or.. I will step backward and you know what will happen after that, dont you?", Woohyun threatened me while asked me to stop which I did after heard him.

If he took a step backward, then I will lose him.. forever. There will be a car crash into him and yeah, I will never get to see him again.

W-Why is he being like this?? What is my fault?? Did he trying to get himself kill?!

"N-No.. Dont. O-Okay, I stop.", I frozed exactly infront of him but a few meters away.

"Hana, do you really dont need me anymore?", Woohyun asked then took a step forward.

I sighed, relief.

"Answer me, Hana.", Woohyun said with a cold voice.

What should I do.. I already promised myself that I will try to forget about him and end all of this before I get hurt more.

I looked up at him. I stared into his beautiful eyes that sparkling.

"Yes, I dont.", I coldly answered him then looked away.

No. Thats not true. I need you, Woohyun. I really do..

Then, I saw he smiled while looked up at me with a really pain expression.

Ugh. No.. Please dont..

"Dont you love me anymore?", He asked again but this time a painful smile plastered on his face. Its the same smile in my dream earlier.

I shook my head slowly infront of him.

"I.. dont.", I replied and looked down on my feet.

Such a liar, Yoo Hana. You still and always love him so damn much and you know that too.

"Really? Not even a little feeling of love inside your heart for me..?", He asked with a trembled voice.

I looked at him.

"Why are you asking me all of these? You're not even love me and--", I tried to stood for myself but then he cut my words.

"Answer me, Yoo Hana.", Woohyun said with a deep voice.

I sighed.

Why are you doing this to me, Woohyun..

"Yes. Theres nothing left. Not even a piece. Its all gone and crushed away.", I answered him then hide my sad and hurt expression when said that.

You have my whole heart, Nam Woohyun. Whole of it. Theres no even a spot left for other boy. Its just you and always be you.

Then, I heard he chuckled.

"Sorry for hurting you. Sorry for always ignoring your feeling all these times. Sorry for making you cry. Sorry for showing my laugh and smile to other girl. Sorry for not love you back. Sorry for breaking our promise, Hana..", He said while looked at me with his sad eyes.

N-No.. dont be..

"W-Well, I think theres nothing else I could say. J-Just..", Woohyun stopped then he looked at me.

".. Have a happy life without me, Yoo Hana.", Woohyun said then I saw he gave me a weak smile.

W-What..

Then, Woohyun suddenly ran away and I lost him from my sight.

"W-Wait--", Then, suddenly I heard aloud beep from the way Woohyun ran before.

PIN!!!

I'm flinched.

I quickly ran towards the sound and saw..

"WOOHYUN!!!", I yelled Woohyun's name when I saw his figure already lay down beside the road.

Ohmygod.. no no.. not again..

I quickly ran towards the weak figure that lay beside the road with bloods on his chest.

I sat on the ground beside Woohyun then put his head on my lap.

"OHGOD. NO! WOOHYUN NO! NOT AGAIN! NAM WOOHYUN! WAKE UP! YAH!! YOU CANT LEAVE ME LIKE THIS! Wake up, Nam Woohyun!!", I held his head in my arms and cried loudly.

I slapped his face gradually but he didnt open his eyes.

"Woohyun, please dont do this to me.. Wake up! This is not fair! Why are you doing this to me?!?", I shouted loudly.

But still, Woohyun figure didnt show any movement and he weakly breath.

I quickly took out my phone to dail for an emergency number but suddenly Woohyun's hand weakly held my hand and stopped my action.

"H-Hana..", Woohyun mumbled my name then I quickly came close to his mouth to hear what he wanted to say.

"I-I forgot.. that I have.. s-something more to.. s-say to you..", Woohyun whispered then he chuckled sickly.

But, instead of real chuckle, he suddenly coughed bloods.

"Y-Yah! D-Dont talk! S-Stop talking..! Please.. dont go, Woohyun.. You cant leave me again!", I scolded him but with a worried voice then I quickly covered his mouth with my hand.

My tears finally fell today. This is not happening again..! No!

Woohyun suddenly shook his head. He touched my hand that covered his mouth then he put it down.

".. I-I.. I..", He stuttered in his words.

S-Stop it, Woohyun.. stop it.. Its hurt seeing you like this.. God.. why are you so cruel to me..?!

".. I-I.. I.. l-love.. I love you.. Y-Yoo Hana..", He finally said he last words with a bloody smile.

Then, his hand that held mine loose his grip and fell down on the ground and his eyes slowly closed. His breath slowly got soundless and at the end, theres no breathing anymore come from him.

"W-Woohyun? Y-Yah.. w-wake up..N-Nam Woohyun! N-No.. I-It cant be.. N-No..", My eyes widen when I saw he is not breahing anymore.

"No.. NO! Nam Woohyun! You cant leave me! Dont die! Dont! Y-You.. cant.. You c-cant..", I shook his souless body over and over.

No. This is not the ending.. No!

"Woohyun-ah.. dont go.. I love y-you.. I love you too! Please! Listen to me, Nam Woohyun! W-Wake up!", I held his head then looked at his pale face.

I am going crazy.. no.. please.. this all is just a dream! Please! God, make this a dream!

"Woohyun-ah.. I lied to you.. I l-lied to you..", I exclaimed while crying on Woohyun's cold forehead.

"I n-need you. I always do.. I love you so much.. You cant leave me. I always miss you for every seconds.. You never left my heart even for a mini seconds. Never!", I confessed then rubbed my thumbs on his cheeks.

I smiled weakly.

".. I'm sorry, honey.. I am so s-sorry.. Mianhae cuz I avoid you for all day.. I'm sorry cuz I ignored you.. I'm sorry for everything.. Its my f-fault.. It is.. my fault..", I said while tears keep coming out from my eyes.

But still, no response come from Woohyun. Woohyun is my everything and now, my everything was gone..