"Hey Terri, can I ride home with you?" Nate asked me as we walked out to the parking lot.

"Of course" I said, trying to plaster a huge smile on my face, but I felt the unease between us. We got into my car and were on the road for about five minutes before he finally spoke.

"I know" he said quietly.

"Know what?" I tried to act oblivious.

He gave me an exasperated look. "I know he's your mate" he said with conviction.

I sighed heavily. "Did Sophie tell you?"

"She didn't have to. I knew a while ago. At first... I was angry because life is not fair. I finally found the perfect girl for me, but then fate stepped in, of course. So, I intentionally did things to make him jealous. But... I know I need to stop. When I saw and felt your reaction to my hug, I knew it would never be the same because your body knows who it wants now" he said sadly.

"I do not want him" I said stoically.

"Not yet, but it is inevitable. And I don't want to be the one who is helping destroy both of you. I also don't want... I don't want to be hurt when you finally do go to him" he said, looking at me sadly. I clenched my hands around the wheel tightly. "Besides, he needs you more than I do. He's far more wounded than I could ever be".

"What the hell is everyone talking about?! 'He's wounded. Sad. Hurt. Angry'. I have no idea what you people are talking about! All I know is that he is an ass ruining my life!" I yelled, slamming my hand against the wheel.

"Terri, calm down..." Nate said, looking at me intently.

"No, I will not calm down!"

"Terri, you're starting fires outside... calm down...." he said grabbing my hands and pulling them from the steering wheel. I took my foot off the accelerator and put it on the brake slowly. My car slowed to a stop. He put my hands in my lap then grabbed my chin and turned my face toward his, staring at me intently in the eyes. " Calm...down".

I could see fire in the median behind his head, but it slowly started to calm down and die out as I took deep breaths.

" I know what he is now" my panther said cryptically.

"What?" I thought.

"You will see soon"

"Are you better?" Nate asked, bringing me out of my head. I nodded, then looked forward toward the road.

"Thank you" I said.

"No problem, it's the least I can do" he said.

I hesitated a while before I said, "I need to talk to him, don't I?"

Nate just turned and looked me in the eyes, giving me a deft nod.

* * * * * * *

Alpha Alex Brutus's Point of View

No work had been done the past twenty four hours I had been in my office. There were papers everywhere and files scattered upon my desk. I sat in my chair, staring at myself in the mirror on the opposite wall. I had bags under my eyes looked dead. Numb. I could not sleep, I could not breath right. My body felt like lead.

"She ran from us" My wolf whined pitifully in my head. I had stopped answering him hours ago. I should have never agreed to give her a chance. Doing that had opened myself up to unimaginable amounts of pain at her rejection. I had spent part of the night with her in my arms, thinking she was dying, until I realized with shock that she was shifting. But I was even more surprised when she shifted into a large black cat. I had gone to get shorts from one of my hiding spots, and when I returned, she was awake, half naked, standing at the edge of the waterfall. I barely got any words out before she realized I was her mate and ran off. What else could she have realized that made her scream 'NO' at me? My wolf whined again, but I just reached for the ninety proof moonshine in a glass on the desk in front of me. I went to bring the glass to my mouth, but it shattered in my hand. My strength had been on the fritz since last night. I couldn't control it. I had already destroyed one door handle, a chair, and three pens. My hands were shaky and I could feel myself switching from human to borderline shift every now and then. I was pondering the regrets of the last week when a soft knock came from my door.

I tried to say come in, but nothing came out at first.

"Come in" my voice sounded like gravel was lodged in my throat. I stared down, at my desk, not wanting whoever it was to see my face, but when the door opened, that crisp, clean smell hit me like a ton of bricks. I snapped my head up quickly, then hopped to my feet.

"Tell me" Terri said quietly, "Tell me what happened after your mother died".

* * * * * * *

Knocking on that office door was the most difficult thing I had ever done. But when I did, I felt immensely better. Like my body was uncoiling, relaxing. After a pause, a rough invitation of entrance came from the other side of the door. I opened the door a crack and slid in, closing it behind me. I was trying to keep my body as far from him as possible. His head had snapped up and now he was standing.

"Tell me" I said in a whisper, my heart racing at being in the same room with him, "Tell me what happened after your mother died" he looked awful. He looked disheveled, like he had not slept in years, and he had small drops of blood on his hand. He made a step to come around his desk toward, but I put my hand up quickly.

"Stay behind your desk. Please. I just want to talk" I said. He hesitated for a long while, then slowly sat down in his chair. I walked hesitantly to the chair opposite him and sat.

"Tell me...please" I insisted.

"I don't talk about it" he told me, never taking his eyes off my face.

"Talk to me about it" he stared at me blankly, and I felt my patience slipping. "Look, everyone is telling me to give you a chance, to try to understand you, and I am. But I cannot forgive you for what you have said to me. You have been mean, callous, and rude. Apparently there is a reason for your behavior and in order for me to forgive you and give...this... a chance, I need to know what everyone else seems to know" I said heatedly to him. His eyes seemed to glaze over slightly, like he was zoning out. "Fine" I said, and started to get up from my seat.

"My mother died when I was four years old" he said in a gruff voice. I stared at him, then sat down slowly. He had a far away look on his face and he chuckled a little, shaking his head with a small smile. "I still remember what she smelled like. What her hair felt like in my hands." he said, clenching his open hands, like he was grasping her hair. The emotion in his voice made me want to cry. He shook off whatever he was feeling and put up an emotionless cover over his face and voice.

"My father loved my mother more than anything in the world. He would have given up Alpha hood, his life... the life of her son... to have her back after she died. For months after she was ripped apart by rogues, he said nothing. He did not talk to Beta Adrian, to his Pack, to me. I lived with the Crewwe's because the first time I tried to talk to him in his daze, he threw me out a window. I lived with them for six months until one day, he came to get me. He told the Crewwe's that I needed to start training. That I was old enough to start training. When Jason's father questioned him, he said if I was old enough to kill my mother I was old enough to train. You see, the day my mom died, I had decided to go exploring on my own into the forest. Deep into the forest. My mother had panicked, looking for me, and she went into the woods to find me. She eventually did, but on our way home she sensed other wolves. She had me hide in a hollowed log when four rogue wolves surrounded her. She fought them for a long while, but eventually they killed her by ripping her head off. I watched the whole thing" he stopped, looking me in the eyes. I'm sure he saw the tears welling there, because he quickly looked back down and continued his story. "So my father took me home and we began training. Running, climbing, strength training. I broke my arm the second day of training because I fell off a small cliff he was making me climb. While I sat there, cradling my arm, I cried for my mother. When he heard that, he grabbed me by my shirt and yanked me into the air and told me, 'Don't you ever cry for her again. You killed her, you cannot weep for her. Grow up and take pain like a man' and then he snapped my arm back into place. Training continued like that for two years, minor incidences where he had to punish me by choking me or semi-drowning me, until I turned six. I asked if I was going to school and he went berserk. He threw his whiskey glass at my head, shattering it in my face, and told me that I would attend school when I could prove I was focused on being an Alpha. So he kept me home and we would travel deep in the words and train. By the time I was seven years old, I had become the cold hearted, quiet person I am now. I hated my father for abusing me, and I hated my mother for dying and making this happen. I hated everyone else for being so happy, and I hated the idea of mates because that was what caused my problem in the first place. The only friend I had was Jason Crewwe. He would sneak into my room at night and bring me food and chocolate, because he knew that my father only gave me one meal a day. I awoke everyday, trained, went to school, trained, and then went to sleep for nine years. He got a little easier on me when he realized that I was devoted only to training. He pushed me, but grudgingly relented because I worked hard. That is, until a group of hunters killed Beta Adrian my freshmen year of High School. It was like starting all over again. His training sessions got harder and more vicious. He started fighting me himself, slashing my stomach open with his claws, biting chunks of my body off. He would tear me up until I passed out from the pain, and then he would leave me in the woods to go fight rogues and hunters on his own. I knew he was loosing it, going crazy. His blood lust was unrivaled. Everyday I would pass out and wake up in my room. My father thought I was getting up and moving on my own. And I thought it was Jason and the group, since they were the ones who were always there when I woke up, nursing my wounds. It turns out, it was your little boyfriend," he sneered with a bitter tone, "who was finding me in the woods. He knew he could not stick around, because if my father found him helping me, he would kill him. He didn't like him anyways. My mom made father keep Nate. Only her and Mrs. Crewwe gave a damn about him. So he would lay me in my room and leave a note for Sophie and Jason, telling them I needed help. Andrew basically took over the pack, although he was tentative, as he knew my father was senile. He kept an eye on me, helped me out when he could. I could never understand how Jason and Andrew could be so happy when their loving father just died. And how Mrs. Crewwe could step in and be an adoptive mom to me after her mate just died. But she did. Now she just looks sad and lonely. Mrs. Crewwe always gave me some hope about mates. But then, everyday, my father would beat that hope out of me. Until one day... he went out into the woods to fight Rogues... and he never came back. His mauled body was delivered to the front porch of my house in an attempt to anger me. Those rogues had no idea that they had just set me free. Made me the happiest wolf on the planet. I took a sabbatical to decide whether or not I wanted to be Alpha. I could decline the offer, just to spite my father, but the idea of letting all that merciless training go to waste made me angry. I took the position of Alpha and kept Andrew as my Beta even though I would have liked Jason to be Beta. I made it through my last years of High School living with Beta Andrew and Beta Allison. Mrs. Crewwe visited me often, giving me hugs and support. She talked about missing Adrian and she told me ways to cope with losing a loved one. I could still see her happiness and love for her mate, and I could also see her sadness, but never once did I see anger... or hatred. She let me hope again, and this time, no one was around to squash it. But that was the problem, no one was around. The months leading up to my eighteenth birthday, I craved someone to hold. I regretted never having a girlfriend. To live with Andrew and Allison, seeing them in love, it made my heart ache for a mate. For love. The day I turned eighteen, I walked around town, high school, and the pack, looking for that one girl meant for me, but she wasn't there. My father was right, all mates do is crush your heart and soul. I still see him...in my head. Telling me I am a screw up. I think my mind created him to substitute the fact that my wolf hadn't spoken to me in year. My wolf was mad that I was not seeking out my mate any longer. At that point, I had decided that a mate was only going to ruin my life, so I avoided females at all costs. And I had done a great job, until you came here. You destroyed my emotionless façade, you pulled my heart and my mind apart because I was so conflicted. I hated seeing you here because you were a threat to everything I had created. You were...are... my weakness. When I saw you, I saw only a trigger that would turn me into my father" he said with tired anger. "I could not have that. I was not going to turn into him. I was not going to open my heart, only to have it ripped from me when you die. Because everyone always dies. Always" he had red eyes now, almost on the brink of tears.

Tears were openly streaming down my face. I stood up and walked to his side of the desk. He watched every step I took wearily. When I reached his side, he stood up and backed away slowly. I stepped closer to him, and gently molded my body to his in a hug. He stood stiff and rigid, hand loose at his side. But slowly, his muscles unwound and he brought both arms up to wrap around my shoulders. His head bent down to nestle into my hair and breathed deeply.

"You said 'you were'. Past tense. What do you think I am now?" I asked, thinking about how he was describing me, as if that opinion was old and outdated.

"Mine" he said softly.

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy the new chapter. Like and Comment please! On the side is another picture of Alpha Alex's mom. And one of the bands I love as well, Florence and the Machine, singing Heavy in Your Arms.