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Request by my beloved friend Loveworlduser1
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Leebury
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Charles Lee x Samuel Seabury
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I end all my ship oneshots in nearly the same way. Oh my gosh. I am so sorry
Sammy's gonna have slight anxiety. I hope that's okay for you. If not, I'm sorry. This is already making me slightly triggered, so please don't read if that triggers you. I honestly have no idea how to deal with anxiety but if someone with anxiety is reading this, you are not alone. Also, please seek help. There are people out there who are willing to help you. If you ever need to talk, I'm here
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May or may not be based of personal experiences, so if it's innacurate to other anxiety attacks, I'm sorry
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"Charles."

He heard a small squeak as he passed by a room Sammy and George shared. He looked at the slightly opened door with raised eyebrows, wondering what was going on. It was probably Sammy. It was highly unlikely that George would actually be calling for him in that voice.

   Charles decided to walk over to the door and opened it all the way and he saw a dimly lit room with just enough light pouring out from the blinded and curtained windows to reveal a small sillhoutte of Samuel Seabury wrapped up in a warm fuzzy blanket he had given him for Christmas.

"What's happening, Sammy?" Charles asked, walking over to the other boy. He wore a small frown, not really knowing what was happening. He had never seen his friend act like this. His friend was always lighthearted and happy, reading a bunch of books aloud while he just nodded along.

"I don't know!" Samuel said, practically whimpering in the blankets. Charles raised his eyebrows as his eyes widened at that, quite worried for his friend. This had definitely never happened before. His friend looked like he was on the verge of tears, and he really hoped his friend didn't cry. He did not do well with crying.

"It's going to be okay..." he said as he walked over beside his friend, sitting beside him on the ground. He wrapped his arms around his friend, surprisingly making the other boy tense up. He thought he should remove his arms but as he did so, his friend just pulled them back down.

"I know it's going to be okay. I know everything's fine. I'm just so tense, and I don't even know why," Samuel said in a weak voice, his voice almost cracking at some places. He looked so weak and fragile. He looked like he wanted to cry but could not bring himself to do so.

"No." Charles said, his eyes widening as he continued to hug his friend. Something was definitely wrong. He could feel something very faint ringing at the back of his mind. Someone had told him something similar to this. One of his friends doing psychology as a major.

"I think you have anxiety, Sammy," he told his friend with a small sigh. He felt his eyebrows knit together. He remembered now. It was Eliza who was majoring in psychology, and a few days ago, he and Laurens helped her study up for her next test. He hated him, but hey. He had to help Eliza.

"Nonononono! I don't want to have anxiety!" Samuel yelled, burying himself deeper in his blanket and clutching it real hard before realising it was way too warm for him and released it, but his hands were still clutching it tightly. The boy seemed to have absolute fear in his eyes.

"Shhh... Shhhh... It's going to be okay, Sammy. Anxiety's not so bad..." Charles said as he proceeded to hug the boy a little more, but his friend shook himself off of him. He frowned at the whimpering boy. He really wanted to help, but he had no idea how. This was new for both of them.

"It's not going to be okay! This is terrible! Anxiety is scary! I don't want to have anxiety," Samuel whispered in a small voice as he lay still in his blanket, breathing heavily. The boy beside him looked around the room, wondering what he could do to help.

"It's scary... I don't want to be like this... I want to live without having to be so tense all the time..." the whimpering boy said in something barely more than a whisper. Charles frowned. He never really had thought of it that way. He never had any problems managing stress or anything.

"I know some people don't treat anxiety as a big deal, and maybe it's not, but I can tell, for anxious people, it is. I don't want to be like this..." Samuel whispered, his voice cracking a lot as he said it. The boy beside him knew that he would never know how it would feel like, but he could still tell it was bad.

"I've come to conclude that some people also want to have anxiety," Samuel said, then gave a weak laugh that was quickly cut off by a painfuk squeak and more whimpering. "One of those people was me. Pathetic, I know. I really wanted to have anxiety to have other people be sorry for me"

"Oh..." Charles said, trailing off. He was at a loss for words. He wanted to say something to his friend. He knew he had to say something to his friend, but he did not know what. He was really bad when it came to people like these. He was one of the worst types of people to deal with them.

"It was really stupid for me to think of it. I know this probably isn't even real anxiety and I hate it," Samuel said who still seemed to be on the verge of crying but still couldn't. His face just looked extremely pained and there was not much any of them could do.

"Shhh... No, it's not, Sammy," Charles said, a few things he was reviewing with Eliza finally making it into his brain, but as he spoke, he could not help give his personnal opinion on the matter. "Even if you think this isn't actually anxiety, it's still something. This is a real problem, so don't you go dare telling yourself it's nothing"

"It is nothing. People with anxiety don't even experience this. Besides, this only happened once," Samuel said, putting on a sure voice, but the boy beside him could hear right through that. He frowned. He knew that his friend was trying to stay strong, but it was just making it more confusing for him.

"It could be an anxiety attack," Charles said, not really knowing what else to offer to his whimpering friend. Now that he thought about it, it did seem like an anxiety attack. Granted, he did not know much about them, but he spent long enough time with Eliza to know what it would be like.

"No... I don't want to have an anxiety attack... Although that doesn't seem as bad..." Samuel admitted, his stature getting much calmer, but he was still wrapping himself in the blanket and looked like he was about to cry any second. He was finally moving a little more, so that should be fine.

"Shhh... It's going to be alright, Sammy... You're still a normal person..." Charles whispered as he attempted to hug the other boy not that tightly, and this time, he was met with no resistance. He just held his friend in his arms, stroking his hair as he whispered.

"It's alright... I'm here... Charles is here... Charles is here... Charles is here..." he continued to whisper to the other boy in the most soothing voice he could muster up. It was quite hard for him but he managed to. He wanted to try out other stuff that helping Eliza study had taught him, but he decided against it.

It was just him hugging a boy who he dearly loved a lot, who was also wrapped up in a yellow fuzzy blanket which had received during Christmas, with a faint light filtering out from the blinded and curtained window, a lot of silence, and the lingering smell of the coffee which he drank a while ago.

"Charles?" Samuel asked in a clearer voice, free of whimpering and trembling. The boy still looked extremely tense, so that was bad, but he looked much calmer now. His eyes were a bit clearer and the boy beside him smiled, glad that he was already feeling a little better.

"Yes?" Charles asked, putting on a smile which he saved for very rare and special emergency situations. He found himself accidentally wearing that smile more often when he was around Sammy. He saw the boy tense up again and spoke again in a gentle tone. "Shhh... I'm here... Charles is here... I'll do whatever you want... Charles will give you what you need..."

   "Do you still want to be friends with someone like me? I know you hate it when other people cry and I really tried to stop feeling tense but no matter what I do, I can't stop it..." Samuel whispered to his friend, turning away and avoid meeting him in the eye, earning a sad sigh.

   "Shhh... Of course I am still friends with you... Your anxiety attacks does not change anything. It doesn't change who you are. You are still the Samuel Seabury I know and love," Charles whispered in a gentle tone as he continued to hug the boy and stroke his hair.

   "Huh? What did you say?" Samuel asked, for the first time, looking at the other boy directly in the eye.  He still seemed quite tense, not moving much other than the occasional foot tapping. The fear and dread in his eyes had only multiplied, so that was concerning.

"Uh... I will cherish like you. Platonically, you know," Charles repeated in a whisper, quite unsure with what he just had said. He knew he was willing to do anything for the other boy, and he knew he would also stay there with him forever, no matter what would happen.

"I cherish you, too, Charles..." Samuel whispered back, then his body got more tense. All minor movements he was doing a while ago were immediately gone. He felt dread creeping up on his skin, and he knew he regretted saying that. He didn't want the next few seconds to pass, or if they would, he hoped they would pass quickly.

    "That's nice," Charles whispered, coming at a loss for words. He was great at talking, most talking back, when it came to people he hated or just knew, but when it came to his closest friends which he knew and loved for a very long time already, it was quite hard knowing exactly the right thing to say.

   "No, Charles, I cherish you. Cherish you more than like a friend," Samuel whispered, as he began to get even more tense than before. He wanted to curl up and roll away, hiding from the rest of the world at this point. He wished he didn't have to be plagued with worry and fear over everything at the moment, but he couldn't control it.

    "I, uh, cherish you, too. More than a friend," Charles whispered back to the other boy, wrapping his arms around him and planting a kiss on top of his head as he gently stroked his dirty blond hair. He could not help but smile. The friend in which he had always cherished, always loved, returned the feelings.

   The bell rang outside to signify the end of the lunch break and that it was time for the next period of class. He groaned. He wanted to stay here forever, hugging the whimpering boy in his arms, promising eternal protection and love for him, something he really deserved.

"I don't want to go yet!" Samuel shouted with a strong tremble in his voice and absolute fear in his eyes, as he tensed up really badly, barely moving from his spot, "I can't handle it! There are way too many classes I still have! I won't be able to get through all of them in one day! I'm going to fail!"

   "Shhh... No, you're not, Sammy. You will not fail," Charles whispered to the other boy, trying to hug him tighter, but the boy just removed his arms. He frowned at his friend. Was it friend? He had no idea. He just knew that he did not like seeing Sammy like this, and it made him quite queasy.

   "I haven't even finished my arithmetic homework yet!" Samuel squeaked, and the face of pure dread returned. Fear seepes into the boys eyes, probably even overwhelming him. Charles frowned deeply. He tried not to cry. The boy was not crying, so he shouldn't be crying neither.

   "Shhh... It's okay, Sammy... I'm here... Charles is here... We can do your homework together? How does that sound?" Charles whispered to the boy and he nodded. They slowly got up together. He was quite suprised at how easy the other boy could handle himself.

     Maybe he was wrong on his beliefs about anxious people. It was not really an external battle, but internal battle. He frowned. That must have made it all the while harder for anxious people. This was just an anxiety attack, as far as he could infer. He could not imagine the real deal.

They made their way across the room to the table which Charles recognised. It was mainly an office table for Sammy who would usually do his homework, and maybe George's homework as well. He furrowed his eyebrows as he thought of the boy's room mate. He should really consider talking to Washington about that. He'd know who to put Sammy with.

The whole journey across the room was painful for him. He had to watch his friend, who was looking like a child in a lost city. Who knew he had to keep walking but didn't know where to walk. The boy kept glancing around the room with a fearful expression, as if something might happen.

   Samuel had finally sat down and Charles smiled, glad that the boy had made it to the table. He knew that his friend probably was not going to do more than that and fished for the homework papers in his light pink bag and set them on the desk. Ten questions were staring at them, waiting to be answered.

   Immediately, the boy tensed up and wore the same expression he did a while ago. He seemed close to tears and there was pure fear in his eyes as he steadily picked up the pen and placed it down onto the paper. He sighed, tone hard and cold as he spoke, "Please. Leave."

Charles was taken aback by his words. He never really expected that this boy would ever ask him to leave his side. It was always Sammy who asked for him to stay. He shook his head. He had been way too insensitive. He gave the boy a short nod, slowly walking away from him.

   He could not helo but still linger and watch Samuel from across the room. The boy was not doing anything. Probably waiting for him to leave. He sigjed as he opened the door, getting momentarily blinded by how bright outside was, then stepped out, closing the door behind him.

    He moved over to sit on a bench and then it was just him, the door to Sammy and George's room, next to the doors for the room of everyone else, some trees, grass, the smell of pine, really bright sunlight from the afternoon sun, the relatively cool weather, silence and his thoughts.

He was surprised with how Sammy had wasted no time when it came to him leaving. He thought anxious people needed someone with them at all times, or maybe those were just the stereotypes he forced unto himself. He did read a few things with Eliza, but it all had included nothing to how it actually felt seeing an anxious person. He could only imagine it was so much worse for Sammy.

It had been an hour before that other boy had informed him that he was done with the paper. An hour. Sure, Charles missed a class, and would probably miss even more, but it was for Sammy, and anything other than him didn't matter. He still couldn't help but frown at the text on his phone.

    Sammy had informed him through text. Through text. He sighed. He should not be judging him for that. The boy was probably way too tense to even move much from the chair, but he did feel a little hurt by the gesture. He was the boy's closest friend, and hopefully even more if he's lucky.

    "Sammy?" Charles asked as he entered the room again and walked over to the other boy who held his head in his hands as he stared down at what seemed to be a paper with a new set of questions. He still seemed to have the really tense expression on his face.

"It was too much for me Charles... Those ten questions were way too much for me... I can't do this... I can't survive another ten..." Samuel said as he stared at the homework as if it was going to jump out and bite him. It had made him feel guilty about his attitude towards homework. At least he did not have anything close to anxiety attacks.

   "Shhh... Yes, you can, Sammy. I'm also here for you. Charles is here for you. Let's cover the rest of the questions, yeah? Work through them one at a time?" he said as proceeded to cover the rest of the questions with a sheet of paper. He wanted to help if he could, but he knew Sammy was way smarter than him even with a supposed anxiety attack.

   So they spent the next half an hour or so answering the questions, Charles covering the other questions while Sammy answered them all on their own, and it was just them, the table, the paper, the light pink bag, the smell of pine he got from staying outside, and the sound of pencil scratching on the paper.

Samuel had finally finished his paper and packed it up in a dark pink envelope, taking a minute or so to ensure thay everything was orderly before closing it. He took another minute or two arranging the books and binders in his light pink back before closing it slowly with a sigh.

He easily wore it onto his back and held his hands tight around the straps. It was two-thirty in the afternoon and the afternoon classes were probably already in full-session and he was going to be late and he had to deal with so many assignments, but he reminded himself he was going to be okay. He had Charles. That was all he needed to survive.

   "Hey, Sammy? You're going to be okay, alright? Just remember that I cherish you and will forever cherish you. If anything too bad happens or if you're still feeling anxious, give me a call, alright?" Charles said, placing his hands on the other boy's shoulders and staring directly into his eyes.

"Hey, hey... Sammy... Sammy... I'm being serious. If you can't deal with it anymore, just give me a call. I swear. I don't care what class it is. I'll drop whatever I have to go to yours," he said, pulling the other boy into a hug, gently stroking the dirty blonde's hair.

"I don't care if Washington will expel me or anything like that. Just as long as you're okay. Just as long as you're safe, I'm happy, so please feel free to call me anytime in class," Charles said, then tried to take the risk and kissed the other boy on the head multiple times.

  "It's going to be alright, Sammy. I cherish you and will cherish you forever," he said as he continued to kiss the other boy on the head. He felt the other boy give a small nod and released him with a hug, looking him sincerely one last time in the eyes before they started walking past all the dorms and towards the campus.

   They eventually had to seperate to their respective classes and he gave Sammy one final peck on the head before they parted ways and headed to their buildings. Charles released a long sigh. He had never really experienced seeing his best friend — or would boyfriend already be enough — have an anxiety attack before.

Charles was getting frankly worried and ended up loitering around the building. He was getting worried for Sammy. No. He had to stay strong. This was probably something minor, a one-time thing, right? He shook his head. He was probably going to need to talk to Eliza again after a while.

He was still loitering around the building, thinking of Sammy, thinking of his supposed anxiety attack and thinking of how he just wanted to hold that boy in his arms. He was basically thinking of him. He didn't really find it in him to get to class anyway. His friend just had experienced something bad, and he wasn't just going to waltz into class after that.

   He found himself sitting on the bench outside Sammy's dorm, successfully skipping two and a half classes. He really wanted to spend some alone time with himself after that. He needed a clear head if he wanted to make that boy feel cherished forever. He smiled. "Samuel Seabury, I cherish you and will cherish you forever."

    "I cherish you, too."