Chapter 31 ~ Harry

I cannot help it, fury burns in my veins when I see him hugging her the way I hug her. And it’s even worse when she accepts to go on a date with him. Jealousy is eating me from the inside and I clench my fists so tight my nails sink into my flesh leaving marks on my skin. The performance was incredible, seeing her like that took my breath away, but then this guy hugged her like that and I saw red.

And the worst part, I can’t control this. I’ve never felt like this before, so possessive over someone. I don’t know if it’s because I want to believe Hannah also has feelings for me but I can’t be sure, not until she accepts it and until then, anyone can be a threat and I want her too much to let someone else take her away from me.

I hate Max.

But I hate the effect he has on me even more, what he makes me do. I didn’t want this to happen like this, I didn’t want to push Hannah like this but I just reached my limit. It’s been a long time, I need her to accept what she feels and this is the only way I could think of.

That’s why I kissed her.

I imagined this moment so many times, I dreamt of her in my arms, giving into the kiss with the same passion and necessity. But I never pictured it like this, yet it’s still more than what I ever expected. Even if she is not kissing me back, I am kissing her. Finally.

She resists, she tries to push me away but I don’t give up, I don’t let her. I know she will give in, I know she will. Slowly, her body finally melts against mine and she stops pushing, her hands grab my jumper and it’s then when I deepen the kiss, cocking my head just to have a better access, coaxing her to give in even more, to part her lips, but she stills resists. I kiss her, her soft lips pressed against mine, sweet and full, addictive as I never imagined.

I hug her a bit tighter, pulling her body closer to mine, my hands sliding to her back, keeping her trapped in my embrace. I feel like my whole body is in flames, my heart hammering in my ribcage, my lungs screaming at me to give them some air but I can’t, I can’t stop, not when she’s stopped fighting me and starts to kiss me back.

But then she goes stiff and with strength that she didn’t use before, she pushes me, setting free and stepping back. Her eyes are wide open, shock all over her features as she breathes heavily. She takes her hand to her lips whilst I still can feel hers over mine, her taste still lingering there.

Before I can say something, she closes the distance between us in two steps and her hand finds my cheek in a loud and painful slap that leaves me staring at my right.

“Never… do… that… again.” She breathes and I don’t look at her. “Did you hear me? Never!” She shouts next and this time I meet her eyes. They are teary, as if she’s about to cry and all that jealousy that was burning in my body before, all that passion and lust I felt when I kissed her, fade away when I see her like that, like she’s about to break down.

“Hannah, wait. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push–”

“Never!” She screams grabbing her violin and case, not bothering with putting the instrument inside of it, and she runs away before I can stop her.

I feel like a complete and absolute arse. I always knew she wasn’t ready for this, yet my jealousy made me do it anyways. Now I’ve probably broken that trust that has taken me so long to win, just because I couldn’t control myself. It wouldn’t surprise me if she doesn’t want to talk to me ever again. I’m an idiot.

But she kissed me back. In a moment she did, for a few seconds, but she did. She melted against my body and kissed me back, until she realised of what she was doing. Then that means she has feelings for me, she isn’t as indifferent as she wants to make me believe. I’ve proved my point here, and I’m sure she will realise that too. She won’t stop thinking of this kiss, even if she’s just told me to never do it again.

“Ugh!” I groan, grabbing my head. I don’t know whether to give up after this or keep my hopes up. I can’t exactly predict how she is going to act but after kissing her, after finally tasted those lips I can’t give her up.

That’s the only thing I’m certain of: I want her, I need her. I can’t give her up.

* * *

I try to call her; of course she doesn’t pick up. I try to visit her; she’s never home or at the garage. I even think of call Savannah, but she can’t help me. She’ll be on Hannah’s side. The lads saw me in this bad mood, all gloomy and forced me to tell them what had happened.

“Give her time,” is Niall’s answer. “She needs to come to terms with all this and only then you can talk to her.” I guess he talks from his own experience. Lucky for him, Alex came to him after realising what her mistake was.

“Don’t give up. Be patient,” is Zayn’s advice, again, it’s from his own experience with Mila. But I don’t know if I can wait months for Hannah to talk to me again.

“Give her time,” advises Liam with an encouraging smile.

“Forget about her,” Louis says surprising us all.

“Pardon?” We all ask in unison staring in disbelief at the Doncaster boy.

“What I said. Forget it. Women are all the same, they make you believe they love you, that you are the one, but then they find ‘someone’ better and they leave you. Forget about her now and spare yourself the pain later.”

What happened?

Louis looks so serious, so convinced, so bitter… that’s not the Louis we all know, but he hasn’t said anything until now, nor has he acted differently. Or maybe he did but I never noticed it, too into my own issues.

God, I’ve been a terrible friend as well.

“Boo Bear, what happened?” I ask grabbing his shoulder but he shoves it off and looks away, keeping the emotionless expression. “Louis?” I call again but he doesn’t look back at us. We’re all with our eyes on him, waiting for an answer.

“Nothing. Nothing at all.” I guess he is trying to convince us, but he can’t. It’s obvious something happened, his voice betrays him, and his whole posture is screaming that something did happen.

“Lou, we know you. Tell us what happened,” Liam tries this time grabbing his shoulder again, trying to make him turn around but he shoves him off as well and steps farther away from us.

“Nothing happened!” He exclaims and I’m not the only one gasping. “That Eleanor dumped me is nothing. That she found someone better is nothing. Nothing happened! Nothing bloody happened!”

“What?!” We all exclaim in unison again, not believing what our ears hear.

“But when? How? I don’t understand!” I blurt out, worry taking over my body and forgetting everything that is happening in my life right now.

Louis and Eleanor… I can’t believe they broke up, it doesn’t make sense. I always thought they were going to be together forever. Why didn’t I see this coming?

“Oh, according to her, it’s been happening for a long time already. It’s true that since the world tour things hadn’t been the same, but I thought we were working on that. She made me believe we were working on that, but while I was away, she met someone in Uni. Someone that can be there for her while I am not. So yeah, she dumped me!”

“I can’t believe it!” Niall blurts out, as shocked as we all are.

“Well you better fucking believe it ‘cos it happened!” Louis yells at us, turning around and glaring at us with so much anger in his eyes it makes me step back. I know that his anger is not aimed at us, but we’re the only ones there with him. “She told me she tried to help it, but she couldn’t, she fell out of love with me.”

He turns away again, clenching his fits so tightly his knuckles are white. His whole body is tense and I’m not sure whether I should approach him or stay away.

He laughs humourlessly, which makes even less sense. “And then she tells me ‘but we still can be friends. We can go to Starbucks for a coffee sometime.’ Ha! As if. I fucking hate Starbucks. All women are the same, so Harry, just forget about Hannah. She’s not worth it. No one is!”

Before we can say something else, Louis storms out of the room leaving us all with our mouths hanging open and completely speechless. We’ve never seen Louis like this. He’s always the funny one, the one who never takes anything serious, the one that can always make a joke out of anything. Louis is not like this, he’s not bitter and hateful like this.

“And that’s what I call a bad break up,” Niall mutters breaking the awkward silence and waking us up from the shock that this caused.

“I can’t believe Eleanor just broke up with Louis like this,” Zayn comments, still confused. None of us has moved yet.

“I think there’s some information missing. Maybe we can get the girls to tell us, surely they know the other side of the story,” Liam rationalises, trying to find some sense in all this.

“And he wasn’t really clear either,” Niall supports Liam.

“I need to talk to him,” I say out loud. “Whatever happened, even if it’s not exactly how he painted it, he needs us now. Did you see him?”

All the lads look concerned, as much as I am.

“I’m going after him,” I state finally moving to leave the recording room.

Louis needs me, this is important and a part of me is glad I have something else to focus on, something which I can work on and actually do something. For now, I’ll forget all about Hannah and I’ll focus only on my best mate. He needs me now and I’m not going to fail him. I already missed all the signs that his relationship wasn’t going as great as I thought. I’m not making another mistake with him again.

-:-:-:-

Dedication to @kaff24 for her birthday!

Bel, xx