Chapter 11 ~ Harry

I’m not a genius, I did not realise on my own how to approach to Hannah. I received some help and by some help, I mean Savannah’s. God bless that girl.

It was like two days ago when I was at the same Starbucks really late, pondering whether to go to Hannah’s family’s shop or not when I saw the black-haired girl with a kind smile and a set of dimples, the same girl that was with Hannah the last time I saw her, two weeks ago. Savannah recognised me too because she smiled when our eyes met.

“Harry,” she greeted sweetly and I stepped closer. “Nice to see you. You haven’t been around. Busy?” She asked me then and I cocked my head intrigued. “Hannah would’ve told me if you’d shown up in the garage.”

“I’m not sure if I should feel flattered that she talks about me or worried,” I trailed off and she chuckled lightly.

“A bit of both. You really made a wrong impression on her. I know it’s not easy to get along with her, but she’s very special, Harry. Don’t judge her without knowing why she is like the way she is,” she told me that day and I could see how much she cares about the ginger girl.

“I don’t. In fact, that’s why I’m so eager to know more about her, I want to know why she seems so– closed. I don’t know if you follow me, it’s like she has shut herself to the world and she looks so sad and lonely, you know,” I tried to explain but I was afraid I wasn’t making myself clear enough.

“Pushing her only will make her hate you more. Harry, I’ll be honest with you. Hannah’s like in an endless dream. She’s not part of this world like she was and she knows it, but at the same time she doesn’t want to feel again. She’s in this numb state– except when you come around. You make her so angry and it’s like she’s back and I can’t thank you enough for bringing that look in my best friend again.” I looked at Savannah impressed with all what she was telling me, all the emotion in her voice shocked me and showed me how much Hannah means to her. “I don’t know why but I think you can get more than anger from her, you just need to change your tactic.”

“How can I do that?” I asked, I really needed advice from someone who knows Hannah.

“First off, don’t push her too much. Just a bit, she’s not used to be out of her comfort zone. Second off, apologise. Show her you’re not an arsehole, as she thinks you are. Try start all over again,” she suggested and I thought of her words for a few seconds.

“Thanks, Savannah. I’ll try that,” I told her and she smiled honestly.

“Good luck. Now, what about giving me an autograph?” She said jokingly though I actually gave her one and a picture.

What Savannah told me that day helped me a lot to think how to approach Hannah the next time and it worked, now I’m waiting for her and it seems like she is really giving me a second chance this time. I just hope I won’t do anything stupid to make her hate me all over again. I feel I’m walking in a very thin line and I can fall back in the hatred-zone very easily. I have to be careful, but it’s really hard when you barely know the other person.

Savannah also advised me to be honest, not even try to lie to her to impress her and also told me to give her as much space as she needs. She doesn’t like anyone invading her personal bubble and that it was that what annoyed her the most about me the first time.

“Hey,” I hear someone calling me and I look up to meet green eyes looking at me seriously. I still can see the emptiness in her orbs and I wish so badly to know how her eyes shone before. “Your car is going to be ready in forty-five minutes or so and I’m done with my stuff. I thought we could go for that coffee in the meantime,” she tells me and I stand up immediately, keeping in mind to maintain distance between us.

“That sounds lovely. Is my car alright? Why so long?” I ask and she smiles this time, a small and shy smile that she tries to hide.

“It’s fine, they are just really busy today. Don’t worry, your car is in good hands,” she replies and I smile widely. “Shall we go?” She questions next and I nod. I’m about to offer her my arm but then I think of that better and I just motion for her to go ahead.

Hannah nods and walks past me to the door. I feel someone’s stare on me and I turn around to meet Sheila’s eyes on us. She’s smiling hopefully, the same way Savannah was smiling when we said goodbye that day at the Starbucks. I smile at the woman and swing around to follow Hannah who’s already several feet ahead. She even has noticed that I stayed behind for a little while and looks at me questioningly. “Everything okay?” She inquires and I nod smiling.

“Everything’s perfect. Let’s go,” I tell her to put her at ease and she seems unconvinced for a couple of seconds before shrugging and keep walking.

As she walks leading me to the coffee shops, I keep wondering what is that thing that changed her and how she was before this happened. Was she a joyful and outgoing girl? Was she the partying kind? Was she the geeky type? Now she seems taciturn and sombre, so sad and lonely even thought she has people that love her around. What kind of scar is that one that has changed her so much and that keeps her in this numb condition where nothing seems to reach her.

I’m sure I’ll have to wait a long time before she trusts me enough to tell me. I realise in that moment that I want her to trust me enough to tell me about her past. I want her to open up to me.

Why?

I have absolutely no idea, I just want that.

The lads, including Ed and Grimmy –because all of them know about Hannah already–, keep telling me that maybe it’s because she is the fish I can’t get and that it doesn’t matter how many other fish are out there, I want her because she is impossible. But I feel it’s more than that. The girls are more helpful, they say it’s because I see she needs me and because I’m a good person and I want to help her.

I think it’s maybe a combination of both. She is impossible, she’s hard to get and that makes all this more interesting, but I really want to do something for her, I feel she needs help and I can provide her that. At the same time, I feel like this is what I have to do.

We walk into a small coffee shop with a few clients, most of them old people or businessmen, even the barista seems close to forty. Hannah seems to know this man because she smiles at him politely and says, “the usual, John. What do you want, Harry?” She asks me looking at me this time.

“Uh, I dunno. Whatever you get, I guess,” I reply uncertainly and she only nods. No smile, no recognition whatsoever. She turns to John as he registers the order. I step closer to pay and she doesn’t even try to stop me. Apparently, she got really clear that this was my peace offering. “Thanks,” I tell John when he gives me my change back.

We go to a table and she doesn’t even look at me, it’s like I am not even there in front of her and the silence is growing more awkward with the second.  “So, what do you do besides helping in the garage?” I ask her to make some conversation.

“I’m in Uni, I study music,” she tells me and I smile. I knew she has something to do with music for what she said the other time over the phone, but I didn’t know she is studying music.

“That’s great. I think we have that in common, then. Music, you know,” I clarify and she gives me a very familiar no-shit-Sherlock look, the same way Moni and Mila look at me when I say something obvious.

“Yeah, but I don’t aim at becoming an international popstar,” she replies with her elbow on the table and cupping her face with her hand.

“You don’t miss much, to be honest. Just the big parties, the first class flies, the VIP passes, meeting all the celebrities and don’t forget about the pay,” I tell her offhandedly and this time she smiles genuinely, though it is a small one, it’s a smile nonetheless. “And, tell me something interesting about you,” I request and I fear I went maybe too far too soon.

She seems to ponder her options for a few seconds before replying, “I have a poster of you.”

I raise my eyebrows really surprised and I can’t help lean in a little bit. This certainly classifies as interesting. “Is that so?”

“Yes,” she replies and there’s something different in her eyes this time, a little and almost imperceptible sparkle of malice. “I throw darts at it,” she adds and suddenly the hopes I was building up crash down faster than what Niall can finish a burger.

“Oi! That’s not nice,” I complain furrowing my eyebrows and this time she laughs.

She actually laughs, crinkles appearing in her eyes, her nose wrinkling a little bit and her hand flying to her mouth quickly. It’s a light smile, very feminine and small, but laughter at the end and I don’t care if she’s laughing at me, I only care that she is smiling and she looks alive.

“Good, your face when I told you about the darts. That was priceless,” she says, her laughter gone but with a smile still playing on her lips.

“You enjoy crashing my ego, don’t you?” I muse and she chuckles lightly again, nodding this time.

“And I even haven’t told you about how I drew moustaches and pirate eye-patches on it,” she adds and I open my eyes wider in sheer shock.

“You what? Why would you do that?”

“Because you are an annoying little twat,” she replies honestly and I snort. “Hey, don’t blame me. That’s the impression you made the first time,” defends Hannah raising her hands.

“And it’s my mission to change that. I’m not that bad, I swear. I’ve paid some people to tell you that I’m nice– I mean, I have some friends,” I correct myself and she laughs, knowing that I’m just joking. “I can call them if you want,” I offer and she shakes her hand dismissingly

“Don’t. I don’t think your ‘friends’ can help you. It’s already too late.” And this time I can see that she’s joking along and I can’t help feeling so proud of this. This it’s really different from our first interaction and I feel things are going in the right way now.

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Dedication goes to @Forever_brownie because yesterday was her birthday (:

Bel, xx