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ZAYN IS LEAVING ONE DIRECTION AND I AM UNSTABLE I AM NOT OK DO NOT TALK TO ME OR TOUCH ME OR ANYTHING BECAUSE I NEED THIS TIME TO CONDEMN MYSELF TO HELL

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Ashton POV

The only good thing about college is that all my bullies have dissipated. People don't care in college and besides, the only time I see my peers are during lectures. After those I go to my apartment. I don't live in dorms anymore. I don't even have a hallway to see people in. There's no walls to get slammed against or locker doors to get my hands crushed in.

I can just float now. I mean its not like there aren't assholes on the streets, but this time they don't know who I am, so they leave me be. They don't know my name; they don't know I like men. I like that. I mean, I wish it didn't matter. I wish I could wear a sticker on my chest that says "Will suck dick."

One of the reasons people used to beat me up because of my sexuality? They were worried I was in love with them. Like I would ever like an asshole with long, greasy hair. They obviously don't understand that some people have standards. Soggy waffle is not on my list.

Honestly right now I should be focusing on my lecture, but I fucking hate statistics. Do I really care about linear regression? No, I don't.

My weird professor continued to drone on about something related to statistics as I continued to doodle in my notebook and let my thoughts wander.

Professor Hagen has onion breath, like, all the time. He also wears his pants hiked up by his chest and talks about his pet ferret far too much for my liking. I guess he's pretty nice, but can you really like a person with a voice that only speaks monotonously? The only time his voice changes is when he sighs deeply. You know, the kind of sigh that says "I hate my job and my life and I really hate teaching all these dumbfucks."

The lecture finally ended and I packed up my books. I only had about an hour until my next lecture, so I started across the street to the little sandwich shop that practically taunted me for the whole lecture because my stomach was growling pathetically.

I ate my sandwich in record time because I still had to walk all the way to my next lecture. I had my General Psychology II class next with Calum, and he was coming to my place after so we could work on this big project our professor assigned the other day. I'm not sure how much work will actually get done, considering Cal is one of my best mates. When does any work get done when that idiot is around?

It's still cold as tits outside so I zipped my coat and started towards the building my psych lecture is in.

When I was about halfway there I heard someone behind me yell, "Ash! Wait up!" I turned my head to see Calum sprinting toward me at full speed. He scooped me up in a hug and I squeaked when he squeezed all the air out my lungs.

"Let up, Cal," I wheezed and he set me down, grinning widely.

"Sorry, Ash. 'Missed ya! I haven't seen you in, like, forever!" he said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"You saw me on Monday, Cal. Today is Wednesday," I pointed out, my eyebrows raised. He just shrugged in response and ruffled my hair. I grunted in disapproval and Calum just laughed at me as I attempted to fix the unruly curls. It's not even worth my time really.

I readily welcomed the warm gust of air that hit me when I opened the doors to the lecture. Another great thing about college, they have an amazing heat system.

We sat down and waited for the professor to come in. Calum continually urged me to play paper football, and he then flicked the football at my face when I sassily asked if he was in 7th grade. "Dick," I grumbled, and Calum stuck his tongue out at me.

The professor came in and the lecture started, but this time I was actually paying attention. Unlike statistics, I love psychology. That would be why it's my major. I think everything about it is cool. The mind amazes me.

***

Once the lecture was finished I put my gloves back on and Cal and I started to my apartment. Calum knows about my mystery boy in the park, and he likes to tease me about it every time I mention it. He'll poke my sides and sing in an obnoxious voice, "Ashton and paintey guy sitting in a tree, F-U-C-K-I-N-G." Then I proceed to hit him in the nuts.

Speaking of, we're nearing the park now. I felt my heart beat faster and butterflies flutter in my stomach. "Oh, is someone nervous?" Cal teased, and I growled at him, but he just laughed. "Ash you're about as scary as a sponge."

"A sponge? Really, Cal? Not even something cute like a kitten or a puppy?" I whined, pouting out my bottom lip. Calum rolled his eyes.

As we passed the park I looked over to see mystery man seated on the same bench as always, the same canvas as I saw yesterday perched on his easel. Calum slung his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him and started babbling about some shit I really wasn't listening to because, holy shit, mystery boy was looking at me again. That's two days in a row now! I felt my heart lurch into my throat when I saw an emotion pass over his pretty face. I don't think I've ever seen anything but blank stares.

The emotion appeared to be confused because one eyebrow was just slightly raised and his eyes were squinting in the slightest. His head was tilted to the side at the smallest angle, but I noticed. Then Calum smacked my ass and his eyes widened. I blushed furiously and he didn't stop looking at me until he was behind me. Even then he probably still was.

Calum didn't release me from his grip, but he bumped his hip against mine lightly and wiggled his eyebrows. "I think he was jealous. God, I'm a great friend," he said, and I snorted.

"I doubt that. Both things you just said," I retorted, and Calum kicked my ankle. I snarled and glared at him.

"He probably thinks he has competition now. Did you see what happened when I wrapped my arm around your shoulder? Jealousy. Like magic," he said, beaming at me.

I rolled my eyes but smiled a little. "Thanks, Cal. But I doubt he even cares about who I am."

"Don't doubt yourself so soon, young grasshopper. You're a catch, dude. I'm sure he has a raging erection by now."

I smacked his arm for that one and shouted, "Calum, you dirty bastard!"

He shrugged, "Michael seems to like it."

***

Later that day, after Calum had left, I had work again. Same shift as yesterday. Hopefully Georgia is there too, but she usually isn't on Wednesdays. I sighed at that thought and prayed that I was working alone tonight.

My wishes were granted when I walked into the bakery, Talia was just cleaning up in the kitchen. "Hey Ashton, you taking over?" she asked when the she saw who walked in the door.

"Yeah, see you later, Talia," I replied, smiling as she left, the bell dinging after her.

Talia is nice, but I don't know her very well, and I guess I don't really have the desire to know her any better.

I tied on my apron and set to work on the list of things hanging on the fridge. I had quite a few things to do tonight, but I didn't mind. I love my job, and I love being alone in the bakery. With the exception of Georgia of course.

A few people came and went, and currently the only people here are a couple sitting in the corner sharing a piece of cake. They come here quite a lot. They like to sit and talk in that corner, and I personally think it's adorable. I love having regulars.

I listened to their gentle banter as I arranged the cupcakes on display, only looking up when I heard the bell ding. I thought nothing of it as the person walked towards me until I did a double take. My breath caught in my throat.

It was mystery boy from the park.

I froze in my place as he walked up to the counter, and I'm honestly quite surprised I didn't pass out on the spot. He looked at me, clearly amused. He licked his lips and I didn't miss the small smirk on his lips as I felt a hot blush creep up to my ears.

I suddenly remembered I was working and stuttered out, "H-hi. Uh, how can I, um, help you?" My voice was shaky and I noticed his smirk grow just a little.

I think I nearly orgasmed when he started speaking. His voice was smooth like silk and so goddamn deep I nearly fell over. "I'm looking for a cupcake. Any recommendations?"

I did my best to hold myself together as I answered, "Uh, m-my favorite is the re-d velvet one." I shrugged and he nodded.

"I'll have that one," I nodded, opening up the display shelf to put the cupcake in a little pink box.

My voice shook as I told him, "That's, uh, three dollars."

He handed me a ten, and when I gave him the box and his change his hand brushed mine. "Thanks, babe," he said with a wink, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth.

With that he turned on his heel and went out the door, the bell ringing behind him.

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-Josie