
🌹💃CHAPTER FIVE🕺🌹
She opened her eyes and instantly shut them, the room was bright, too bright perhaps. Her eyes slowly adjusted to the light, then the blurry object captured came neatly to view. it was the morning sun, sifting through the window, an air condition hummed from the top right corner of the glossy white wall. IV lines snaked down from her arms, her left thigh strapped and leg held towards the end of the bed by some force. She tried to sit up and her head protested, stinging with pain that made her moan and surrender. Where is she, what is happening? The first thought that came to her mind, then came the realization that she didn’t have any answer to that. It was just as unsettling, as the fact that her neck was in some sort of collar, her thigh throbbed dully, and there was some metallic taste at the back of his tongue.
It was a nurse that came in first, stared at her and hastened out. Then came the doctor that introduced himself as Segun, stout, medium build, spotting a side bun and puffy sleep deprived eyes. “you were in an accident.” He told her, then went quiet as if she should fill the blanks herself, maybe she should have. “I _” she wanted to tell him that she remembered nothing of the sort when he interrupted her. “I’ll be doing a quick exam, if you don’t mind.” Then held her wrist feeling for pulse before she could nod her head in consent. While he poked and prodded, she thought of pain, and how her aches had aches. The nurse that came in earlier stood at end of the bed, simply staring. “if you have any questions, the consultant will soon be around for her morning round.” He said as he shone his pen touch on her left eye and then the right, and nodded with a faint smile she wasn’t sure was meant for her.
“I can’t…” there was something about the face of the man standing at the door way, handsome, crew cut, worried look, in denim and t-shirt. His face was familiar, or maybe he just looked perfect, he couldn’t remember meeting him before, the idea of memory and the need for one both came back to her consciousness without answers. She felt more tense by the moment. She greeted the man, once she saw the tag on his shirt. Is he the boss to answer all her questions? He responded rather coldly, more preoccupied with staring at her when he thinks she’d looked away. Lines appeared on his brow and seem to deepen with each step the brought him closer to them. it turns out he wasn’t the doctor with the answers she needed.
Both doctors left the room. Few minutes later, the second doctor came back in with Doctor Alex, a bit taller than doctor Segun, fair complexioned, admirable posture, spirited, and a smile that makes you think sunshine. She briefly introduced herself and launched onto explaining her situation. Her accident and the details of it (how a driver suffering from a heart attack had ran into her, her broken thighbone, and a brain bleed that didn’t really seem to need surgery), and how she’ll be her connected to tubes and wires where they can properly monitor her.
Doctor Alex could not be much older than she was, perhaps younger than the other two doctors, but the fact that she was the boss amongst them couldn’t be more obvious. Doctor Segun ran in few minutes later to be welcomed by her withering look that resolved into a kind smile the moment she turned to her. She repeated every physical exam Doctor Segun had done and began asking questions. Grace recognised object but couldn’t tell what day it was or what year, the answers felt so locked away she feared she never had them to begin with, then the doctor asked for her name which she couldn’t even remember. “Oh no.”
“this is most likely a complication of the head injury,” she said, “you are in great hands. I assure you.” When Doctor Alex was done, she ordered tests and consults with other specialists—things Doctor Segun feverishly scribbled down on the chart, looking embarrassed under Alex’s withering look, which she turns to him at what felt like measured intervals, just to get him flustered whenever the nerves began to calm down. Grace had questions. Doctor Alex was helpful, when she was done she patted her shoulder and called her name, “Grace, we’ve got you,” then smiled her million-dollar smile.
A girl walked in holding a baby and a young boy that couldn’t be more than ten years. They claimed to know her but she couldn’t remember any of them. She couldn’t remember anything at all. She felt both dread and shame.
She let them stay in the room, and tried her best to be civil. But it all didn’t make sense. They were right. She believed. If she couldn’t remember her life and this people could, she had to admit she needed them just as much as they obviously needed her.
The baby stopped crying the moment he was brought close to her, she wanted to hold him but the doctor advised against it because of her state and pains motions could engender, some part of her was grateful for the reprieve, but something about the way his liquid voice contrived nonsense made her smile. That again felt vaguely familiar.
“when will I be alright?” She had asked. Not about her broken arm, or her head that still stung. The Doctor knew exactly what she meant.
“retrograde amnesia, is not something that seem to respect a hard and fast rule for everyone. but memories do come back, in many cases. I’ve already ordered another CT just to cover our bases. I’ll send a consult to neurology. I’m just a neurosurgeon, they’ll have the answers you want.” She said with that same pretty smile of hers, after she removed the neck collar, “worrying will come naturally, but it won’t solve anything.”
“that’s not comforting at all. I’m freaking out right now.” She admitted. Feeling the ache in hear head intensify with every laboured breath.
“we’ve got you, is all I’m saying.” Said Doctor Alex, “if you need anything.”
After Doctor Alex was all gone, the handsome doctor lingered, “have we met before?” Grace asked rather loudly partly because she was still processing a mountain of information and because the way he stared. It was both the question and ‘what’s your deal?’ Doctor Alex stood at the doorway and turned, her head tilted in interest. Something crossed Grace’s mind.
The handsome doctor walked to the foot of the bed, “I was in the car that hit you, and I’m very sorry.” He went on into details, only to stop short of words he appeared almost befuddled, and definitely guilt-ridden.
“it was a heart attack right?” Grace asked, couldn’t explained the feeling of fondness but liked it all the same.
He nodded. “I’m sorry.” The look on his face made her feel like he had actually done something wrong he was yet to admit. Was there something else she would have understood if she had all her memories?
“you figured I couldn’t remember?” Grace asked. She had figured that out, from the silent grateful look on Doctor Alex’s face when she looked at him, alternating that with the disdainful curl of her lower lip when she held sight of Doctor Segun.
He nodded.
“so you knew me?”
“yes.” He replied and added after some hesitation, “I’ve watched you dance a couple of times. Once again, I’m sorr_”
“I dance?”
The pensive girl by Grace’s bed nodded enthusiastically.
“very well I might add.” He said with .
Something about the way Doctor Alex’s eyes swerve between him and her, made her guessed they were a thing. Dave, his name, she could read from the name tag up-close. He left leading the children and the girl out of the room, with the promise of coming back once they are settled. He was gone before she realised his answer didn’t make much sense. She chalked the blanks to her diagnosis. A nurse came in and adjusted the dose of her infusion, her pain reduced considerably, she fell asleep.
*********
The look on Queen’s face was enough to telegraph the fact that they’d have some interesting conversation after her ward round. She had that smile, solid, unmoving, usually when she’s in denial. Dave knew that Doctor Alex was more than curious.
.
He excused himself later found himself ambling towards the cafeteria with questions of his own. What exactly does he think he’s doing? Had he spoken out of turn? He had to say something and it felt good to not just remember snatches of conversations from years past, or watch her silently behind a screen. it was twisted really, the way he felt, happy, almost as if He was glad could have a near normal conversation with her. That thought came only once, but the emotion had stayed. Shame on you Dave. He’s in a mess and he could still feel happy just listening to her speak. He was in the centre of it all and no matter how wrong morality spelled his recent motivations, he wasn’t going to surrender like last time.
He needed latte to clear his head. better still, two, for two to continue a conversation, or start an interview session with Queen, depend on where fate leads. He’d prefer the earlier though, he wasn’t sure he was ready to face Queen with the truth about Grace. it hurts to think about it despite the lot of time that had passed.
He just got the cups delivered and had turned to leave when he heard her voice above the din. Vestiges of the instinct of an unruly boy wanted him to scram, but he knew better than to assume she wasn’t here because of him. Because of yesterday.
He slowly completed his 180-degree turn and there she was right in front of him.
“Don’t just stand there, give your mum a hug.” Madam Silva said, her red lips widened as he approached, arm outstretched.
“good morning ma.” Dave said, without any effort of making it sound like it was good to see her. Her hands wrapped around the latte in his left hand after a hug, she examined the container. Pursed her lips and said, “you should know by now, that I like it black.” She patted her with another patronising smile, “well, it very thoughtful of you.” She popped the lid and took a swig, before he could open his mouth to tell her the truth about who he had in mind. “shall we?” She asked, leading the way. Dave could feel the numerous eyes, following their exit.
“I didn’t know you were coming.” He stated on their way to the elevator.
“I didn’t know I was coming until yester night.” She replied, icily. “now tell me, how does this work with your specie, do men sometimes pick a date to collectively make dumb decisions, or is this just some fluke_"
“Not now ma.” Dave muttered. Moments later she was exchanging hearty greetings with the head of physio, whose attention had been drawn by her not so quiet remark.
“you let me finish.” She said under her breath while smiling at the throng of workers acknowledging her presence. A smile that wither and frosts whenever it’s just between the two of them. “my office.” She told Dave the moment they got into the elevator.
Madam Silva walked briskly across the room. She gently donned the back rest of her executive chair with her jacket, and patted it gently. She gestured at a seat.
“I’m okay.” Dave said.
“your choice.” She picked a roll newspaper across the desk and slid it across the table. “you made the news.” The way she said it so evenly, with a hint of snide in the quirk of her brow wasn’t exactly congratulatory until she smiled, gestured at the paper.
He was so busy trying to do his medical best for the two people yesterday he didn’t notice the press or whoever was taking the photographs. Damn it. it was the car, the emblem, that gave it all away and he hadn’t thought of that until now. Didn’t think of that because the lives of the people involved had kept him pretty occupied, he wasn’t thinking of what it meant to her family’s image and his father’s bid for president. He was just trying to save lives, but apparently this seems to have been well doctored to serve as a publicity stunt. He imagined Madam Silva’s PR minions suggesting how this could be played, and from the content of the paper, Dave might as well have don a cape with his family and hospital name on it. “Should this really be a priority right now?”
“are you asking me?” shifting the chair a bit backwards and tapped her fingers on the desk. One would imagine the next thing for her would be her plopped legs and stiletto on the table, but Madam Silva had insane work ethics, her face disappeared behind the desk, there was the sound of shifting drawers then she emerged with a file.
“it was an accident.” The pained look that crossed her face, made him regret raising his voice.
“and you think I don’t know that.” Said Madame Silva, she looked down at the desk and placed a well-manicured finger to her chest, a gesture to calm her down but always ends up with yet another punchline. here it comes. Dave thought. “so imagine my surprise when the victim was her?”
“and what does that have to do with anything?” He had wondered why fate would play such a jape, but his question was just as valid.
“then she came around, a now she can’t seem to remember anything.” The woman added. “it’s all either one hell of a coincidence_”
“or an opposition is trying to mess with us?” Dave shouted, “mom, really?” he didn’t regret that kind of yelling.
Silence ensued, during which it was a mother and son battle of stare. “you tell me what to think?” Madam Silva sighed, she waved her hand in the air as if to knock out his arguments, “and while you are working on that pray tell why you let that man drive?”
“He told me it was acid reflux, and you told him to come over here_” he spotted the cinch in his argument before the woman countered.
“His angina was unstable. You think I’d refer him here just because of acid reflux? So what’s it with the cluelessness of your kind?” She drummed her finger on the table, then sat and took another swig of coffee. It stung, losing to her, not because he made a bad life choice like having a brawl with a superior but because he’s failed at the one basic thing he’s devoted the better part of a decade to and now had endangered two lives. Do no harm.
Her voice was calm when she spoke next. “how are they today?”
Dave did his best to intimate her with the situation. He couldn’t blame her for seeing a conspiracy behind every incidence, he just hates that he was in the middle of it with people he cared about, in a quagmire that was mostly his fault. “I didn’t know.” He admitted. “I should have known.”
His mother sighed. “I’ve spoken with your father, and my lawyer.”
“of course you have.” Dave muttered under his breath. “it’s my mess, I can handle it.”
She held a hand, shook her head, “hear me out. I want us to reach a settlement with her as soon as possible. We’d rather have this ugliness behind us.”
“But i_”
“I?” she screamed the ‘I’ like it was some obscenity, “except for your error in judgement, nothing else was your fault hon. Legally, you are clean as the lamb. Our car caused the accident, our staff member was negligent. If there is a suit,” she paused, “there sure will be, it is going to be on us. It’s our damn emblem on everything, not your face_” she sighed, “as much as I miss it.” she added wistfully.
Dave wanted to protest, but there was no logical ground to dispute this move. It was better for everyone involved, if they accepted the blame that was rightfully theirs. But he couldn’t shake off the fact that his error had led them here. “what can I do?”
“you,” she pointed, “are not going to handle anything.”
“it’s_”
Madame woman stood abruptly and picked her jacket. “you’ve done well, the situation regardless.” She said with a note of finality, “You should read the rest of the story and not be surprised if most emergency cases are directed here today.” She said without a smile.
He walked with her to the conference room where departmental heads were already waiting for the impromptu meeting. As Dave turned to walk away, Madame Silva called him back. “I may not see you before I leave, and I know you can’t join us today for this meeting all things considered. Say Hi to doctor Alex for me.” she gave him a pointed look, that said, ‘I know’. “What do you say? see you both at dinner tomorrow?” It didn’t sound like she was asking. She wasn’t. She smiled and turned to the ogling audience.
*********
Up here he could see a fair part of Asokoro, from the flags rippling atop ECOWAS Secreteriat, Kapital club, Federal housing building, to drumstix his favourite go-to place for mouth watering fried chicken. A helicopter flew overhead as he sipped some more coffee. He dropped the cup on the hallway bench that had been moved up him and stared ahead. He yawned, arms and leg stretched, about to lean his head on back of the bench when he heard the metal door creak from the corner.
“I knew I’d find you here.” Queen’s calm voice carried through the wind, she took some errant strand of hair from her face as she approached. She’d worn a navy blue pencil dress, her unbuttoned smock billowed behind her like the train of a queen she is, her smile made him feel like he had a forbidden magazine to hide behind himself. He simple picked where his cup from where it rested, to allow her a space to sit. He held his coffee between his legs the same way Queen held her hands, looking at him, concern formed unnatural lines on her pretty face.
“I come here often_” He said, only to be interrupted, as he tried to rekindled a lost chance at a conversation, he was so lost his brain had been slow to process things, he really could use more sleep, or more coffee.
“when you’re worried.” She said. He could still feel her gaze on him, but he only stared on and took another sip. “this is where you come to think, or sulk.”
“I don’t sulk.”
She raised her brow, playfully, tapped conciliatorily on his shoulder, “I guess I’ll just leave you to it.”
“I’d like you to stay.” He reached for her hands, taking her by surprise. Moments like these are not common these days, he resolved to make the best of it and prove her wrong about him sulking. He stood up and pulled her slowly over to the brink of the helipad, where it felt as if the world and all its problems were literally beneath their feet. “you help me think better,” he said twiddling her fingers with his. “besides, I’m sure you’re here for the view.”
“I’m not the sentimental kind.” She said matter-of-factly, though she inhaled loudly, rested her back on his chest, and sighed. He circled her waist with his arm and held her close from behind, a familiar scent of whatever hair product she used made him think of things, and his body to react in ways; while somewhere deep inside, it all felt false, forced, and he—he couldn’t admit that—he feared Queen might notice. He rested his chin on her shoulder as if to affirm more to himself that he loved her; but it was there, a slow running betrayal that was there the moment he met Grace. Anyone may explain away his involvement with her as a patient, as nothing out of the usual going-over-the-top in patient care; but his heart never felt like it might burst, no one had ever had her tongue tied, and he certainly never felt like hiding anything from the woman standing with him. He calmed his mind and force a smile she, thankfully, couldn’t see. “I’m sentimental enough for both of us.” He said. She chuckled at that.
“on that we can agree.” Cool hands rested on his, as she stared ahead. “none of this was your fault. You know that right?” she added, turning her head to face him.
He loosened his arm, face to face with those intelligent eyes, he sighed. “are you still reading me?”
“you are an open book most times Dave.” She said, tapping gently at his chest, “at least to me.” She smiled, then her face went serious, “sometimes shit just happens.”
Shit happens. He thought. “yeah.”
“tell me about this girl, is she from one of those dance shows you watch religiously?” her measured tone, only warned Dave to tread carefully.
“not that often.” He laughed, just to lighten his mood.
“I won’t tell if you won’t.” she shrugged, her smile was tight-lipped, “I’m always partial to ballet.” She waited, “so?”
“yes she does, I watch her shows sometimes.”
“how popular is she?”
“not too popular. I guess.”
The clouds churning overhead seem to be his perfect excuse out of this not very comfortable conversation, something snagged at his conscience for omitting some truths, should he have? Was it necessary? What good would it do, telling her about their fast burnt teen romance, a fall from the prospect of stardom, the fact that most of the hours he watched dance shows, he was simply following her career progress—constantly telling himself he was over her—at the same time reminiscing in the life he turned his back to. They would only elicit more questions he wasn’t sure he had the answer to, he wasn’t sure he wanted to arouse groundless suspicion. Not that he feared that Queen couldn’t handle whatever he had to say. Queen had been through a lot, and Dave wasn’t privy to all but the few he’s seen, he’s not just come to love but respect her. If it ever come to telling the whole truth, he would, wouldn’t he? He told himself it would never come to that, this new chapter with Grace will be closed, sealed, and forgotten in the nearest foreseeable future. His whole world was right there in front of him, Queen meant that much to him. It was the only honourable decision. It was the right thing to do.
“I hear your mother is in town,” she said.
Dave wished the clouds would start a downpour to rescue him. He thought of the dinner proposal and something churned beneath, he wasn’t ready, wasn’t sure if Queen was ready for the meet-my-family phase of things, they are yet to give anything a label. She was her friend for most of their time together, until he convinced himself he was into her and was blown by the reality that she felt the same, to some level. They were busy people that hardly have time to do things normal people regularly do, like go to the movies, take a vacation to the beach, spend a whole day in each other’s company, text copious amount of silly messages, make out in front porches, evening jogs, parties. They were mostly in the physical side of things, they’ve had sex, amazing sex, but sometimes, it felt like that was where it ends, periodically meeting each other’s bodily need enough for one to survive without the other. He’d only been able to convince her to accompany him to a social function, and it was a fundraiser where he was swept away to meet ‘important’ people backing his father’s ambitions, he came back hours later and she was sitting at the bar, alone, half drunk. This conversation might have been one of the longest, most meaningful they’ve had in recent time, Queen wasn’t a big talker, but ever since the transition from just friends, things sometimes made Dave confused, but everything about girls had always been confusing to him. At times he felt like it was a matter of convenience, like she was filling some void, for someone whose shoe he’d never fill, and it makes him feel stupid and then inconsiderate. Queen was in the middle of a major research, she spent most of her time in the lab now, and residency wasn’t going easy on him, just as he wanted; besides, she was his superior, and there are limits to be respected in the hospital where they spent most of their time. Imagine how it would look like if a patient walked in on them making out in her office, or worse, a colleague, her colleague? There are questions he wanted to ask her sometimes, was she happy? should they stop whatever this is and just go back? was that even possible? Should they just come clean and make things official with HR? They just haven’t had the time recently.
“…how’s she handling things?” he asked, looking puzzled and annoyed. He must have zoned off.
Her voice dragged Dave back to the helipad on which their bodies stood. He recalled they were talking about his mother’s visit and not what he feared some experts might term ‘situation-ship’.
“good. She thinks the girl would want a settlement in the end, and our lawyers are working up a favourable deal.”
“isn’t that too extreme? There are much steps to be taken until then, besides it was clearly an accident...” She paused, “…except someone messed up.”
“the driver,” he admitted, “Mr Selman shouldn’t have been driving. And I should have known.”
“but you didn’t.” There was worry in her eyes as she scanned his for answers he willed himself to stop giving. “this is not your fault.”
He tried to simile, when he thought of the fact that Queen was here for him, right here, right now. “I hear you.” He said, feeling a bit adrift—when he thought of how he had held her the day her fiancée died in this same hospital, how he said everything and did everything a friend should—wondering if this was just the same, just reversed. To him it wasn’t. He wasn’t just a friend, not anymore. She wasn’t a friend not anymore; she was everything he could ever hope to get. “thank you.”
She shook her head. “I need you to believe it.”
“okay.” He said, “I believe it. And, I love you.” He felt something shift, when he said that last three—very inappropriate words considering countless piece of details. He had half to mind to take it back, because he feared it was an attempt at sublimation to keep from marinating in the negative emotions; and half the mind just watch it play. There was surprise in her face, she batted her eyelid rapidly, raised shoulder as if to shrug but dropped them mid-way as she gave a nervous laugh. There was a sigh he did not want to assume was from relief when her pager rang. She basically shirked from his embrace, wriggled out and with a quick parting kiss full on his lips, too quick he couldn’t react, she sprinted off, head bent, heels clacking.
He ran after her towards the elevator, she stopped, he saw the plea on her face. so he just said, “will you be free for dinner tomorrow, at Maitama,” he shrugged, “my family’s place… Madam Silva asked if I could come with you.” The last part, regardless of the fact that he tried to make it sound like some professional request, read false and hollow. He should have just let her go. “or not…” he said, calmly despite his fraying nerves and the throbbing ache on his head, “…if you are too busy.”
She seems to weight the answer, looked from him to pager in her hand, as if the answer was somewhere there. “I’m needed at the lab,” she said, “I’ll check my schedule.” Tilted her head to the side, “I don’t know.” She hurried away before he could say anything else. Stunned by the progression, and how pesky she seems when he popped the words out of desperation for some meaning for whatever lies between them. Had he spoken too soon? maybe he had. In the sounds of winds was the question that snagged at his conscience: Why now?
Segun notified him later that the Ortho consultant for Grace’s surgery had arrived.
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Thanks for reading, please stay safe. See ya.
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