This one is a bit more emotional than the rest of the chapters. Oops?

"I'm Bruce Wayne. I am so sorry about your loss."

Tears streamed down a 9-year old Richard Grayson's face as he looked up at the man. This man who he barely even knew paid for his parents funerals. Dick felt as if he owed him a lot, but he simply didn't have the ability nor money to repay him.

"Y-you paid for their funeral." He looked down at the two tombstones in front of him, reading his parents names. His shoulders shook as he recalled the service that had just occurred. It mainly consisted of the circus members, the members who Dick would never see again. The service had already ended over an hour ago, but Dick refused to leave his parents.

"It was the least I could do."

"But why?"

"Because I know what you're going through right now Dick. I just want to do all I can to help you cope right now. Losing a loved one is not an easy thing to go through, and it is much harder if you're alone. Don't bottle up your feelings. Trust me, things will get better, even if it hardly seems that way right now."

"Who did you lose?" By the look on Bruce's face, it was obviously still a touchy subject.

"My parents. When I was about your age."

"I'm sorry..."

Renegade jerked his head up to find himself in the kitchen of Mount Justice with a cookie crushed inbetween his fist,"Ugh, I feel like I have a hangover." Renegade gripped his head, dropping the cookie crumbs on the counter beforehand.

"Another flashback?" Kaldur asked.

"Yeah."

"What was it about, if you don't mind me asking?" M'gann and the rest of the team had their eyes on him. He had been getting more flashbacks, his past piecing itself back together. Though they didn't necessarily come in order, so there were certain chunks missing, and he was forced to put everything in a timeline.

"Nothing worth wasting my breath on." So far he had remembered about his parents falling to their deaths and everything that occurred after that, in juvie, and when Deathstroke took him. Most memories before that time period were still missing. Not that he really cared to find out more about his life. So far, his past memories were shitty and depressing. He'd prefer to stay away from that

"Your new memories making you rethink anything?" Artemis said hinting at something.

"Actually, yes."

"Really?" The teams eyes lit up.

"Yeah, I regret not stealing the drug that Deathstroke used to repress my memories."

Wally scoffed,"Really? You don't like having your real memories?"

No, they terrify me.

"Let me just say, it's like being forced to watch a draggy TV show with no plot and bad acting. I'd rather watch the current season of the Walking Dead." The ex-assassin ignored Wally's "Hey, I watch that show!"

What would my parents think of the crimes I've committed?

"Yup, that sounds exactly like your life." Connor chuckled.

"I will have you know that I'm an exceptional actor! As a matter of fact, I tricked you guys into thinking I betrayed Deathstroke and that I killed him. I've been working for him this whole time, you idiots." An evil sneed crossed the ebony's face.

They all tensed. The room suddenly got colder and the panic was evident in everyone's eyes.

"Renegade... What have you done?" Kaldur stepped away slowly.

Renegade let out a loud cackle,"You guys are too easy! I'm not working for anyone! I'm an uncaged bird! Well, actually, thats a lie, I'm working for Batman and you losers, against my will, but yeah."

They all seemed to let out a sigh of relief, their hearts still racing.

"Please refrain from making such jokes." Kaldur whispered while shaking his head.

"Fine, instead I'll make jokes about you guys. For example, if we're talking about jokes, let's bring up Wally's life."

"Hey!"

"Maybe Artemis' outfit today?"

"Why, you little-!" The archer attempted to grab him with her arms.

"How about Connors crush on M'gann?"

"Connors what?" The two aliens blushed.

"Whoops!" Renegade jumped down from the seat he was on and sprinted out of the kitchen,"Gotta blast!"

"Get over here!" The three teens who he had verbally attacked were not just going to let the boy get away with what he had said.

---

It was 10:30 p.m. when M'gann heard a light knock on her door,"Yes?"

She was getting ready to go to bed, and was just about to change. Though she was confused when no one replied to her question.

"Who is it?"

She went over to the door, pressing a small button that slid open the door. The Martian was slightly shocked to see who was standing there.

"Renegade?"

"Hey, Miss M." He sounded tired and certainly looked it. The males hair was ruffled up and his clothing was wrinkled.

"What's wrong? What do you need this late at night?" He invited himself into the room, closing the door behind them with the click of a button.

"I need to ask a big favor of you and you may not want to do it... but I would really appreciate if you did." Renegade was extremely hesitant to continue.

She pondered over this,"Well, since you asked so nicely, I think I might have to say yes."

Renegade winced at that,"You see, that's the problem. I'm getting too nice. I'm....I'm caring!"

A bright smile appeared on the Martians face,"That's a wonderful thing, Dick! Well, can I call you that?"

"I guess... Ugh, see! I shouldn't even be agreeing to that name! This isn't a good thing at all. I just want things to be back to the way they were before."

"Before what exactly?"

"Before I got my memories back! Before I met this team!" His words had an immediate effect on the Martian, her head lowering in sadness.

"But... I thought things were good. We've been having fun together as a team. And Dick, if it wasn't for us, you wouldn't know the truth about your past. You would still be clueless."

"The truth isn't always a good thing, M'gann."

"I know it's none of my business, but why not? If my memories of my past were taken away I'd be devastated. Yes, not all of them are good, but you can't focus on the bad ones."

"It's complicated... They're affecting even my mindset. Not too long ago, if one of you guys got hurt, I'm not gonna lie, I wouldn't give a shit. But now...,"He sighed,"I don't like having to worry about the safety of others. I hate to admit it, but I actually don't want you guys to get hurt..."

"Why would we get hurt...?

The ex-assassin merely shook his head, as thoughts of Deathstroke passed. His freedom was on the line, but so were the teams lives.

"What is this favor you want me to do?" The Martian continued.

"... I want you to erase all the memories I have of my past. Each and every one of them. Fill them in with fake ones."

"W-what? Renegade, that's-"

"Put up a wall, do something. I don't care, as long as I don't remember a thing about what happened before Deathstroke. I preferred my warped memories." He lowered his head,"They hurt a lot less." He whispered the last part.

M'gann winced as he saw his hurt look. She had never seen him so sad. None of them had. Renegade was always laughing, making jokes, yet here he was, desperate and scared,"Why would I do that to you?" Just earlier he was filled with life, causing her to wonder how long he had been putting up this act.

"My past... I-it's not a good one. It's just... so much hurting and I don't want to have to deal with that."He shook his head,"These memories, they're changing me, and I was much better off without them in my head."

M'gann frowned,"Renegade, you can't run from your past."

"Why not?"

"Yes, those memories may hurt and make you want to cry, but they make you who you are. Your past is your structure for your life, either pushing you forward or back depending on how you choose to interpret it. I understand that you don't appreciate the change that is happening, but change isn't always bad. Like you said, you're caring and developing more feelings for others than you had before. That's a good thing, whether you want to believe it or not."

Renegade frowned,"Great speech, but save it for someone who cares. Can you just do it anyways?" In any other situation, the boy would not have spoken to Miss Martian in such a way, but at the moment, he was just desperate.

M'gann sighed,"No, Renegade, I won't erase your memories. You're becoming a better person, just like you were meant to be."

"Better person? You're funny if you think I'll ever be a good person."

"And why is that?"

"You know exactly why, M'gann. I've killed so many people, I lost count. Hell, you want to say my past structures me? Well, my parents murderer, I even killed him too! I didn't even know who he was at the time, but killing him felt amazing. There's no turning back from that." Renegade didn't even care as he yelled out that last part. He hadn't even told Batman this, because he knew that it would possibly get him in trouble, but he needed something to convince M'gann.  Tony Zucco was the first person that Deathstroke ever had Dick kill and while it may have scared him a bit, he loved the feeling of adrenaline and control he felt when he did it. He was sure that if he did it again, nothing would change.

She smiled softly,"When we first met, you would have never admitted that you were doing wrong by killing. You believed you were doing the best thing you could possibly do. Now, you are able to see killing as a crime. I won't erase your memories if it prevents things like that from happening again. Your mind is growing, changing, and you just need to accept that."

Renegade groaned. He couldn't grow nice, that was a sign of weakness. He couldn't care for others, for they could be used against him. Yet whether he liked it or not, these emotions were slowly being integrated into his personality.

"I'm sorry, Renegade."

"No, you're really not." The teen began to walk out, feeling much worse than when he had entered, but then he stopped,"M'gann, I swear, if you tell anyone about this..."

"I won't."

He then walked out, leaving the Martian to her thoughts.

Wow...

Emotions.

Who knew Renegade had those?

Don't worry, you won't see emotions for a few more chapters :)

Byeee