An electric guitar by itself sounds nothing like what a listener expects. There is no power, no emotion, no magic. Only when plugged into an amplifier, does the listener hear how the wood and pickups shape the tone. The amp also gives it's own character to the music, with a thousand variations to the partnership.

Erica and I were going to create a beauty surpassing ourselves, once we bound our lives together...

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Will you stay with me? Will you be my love?
Among the fields of barley
We'll forget the sun in his jealous sky,
As we lie in Fields Of Gold.
Sting.

July1985.

Thanks to Erica's preparations, I didn't need to lie. "Vivian, I'll be back in an hour. Erica has some sort of surprise for me."

For the first time ever, Vivian wished me well. "I bet she does. Have a good time!"

*************

Like a music video vixen, Erica slowly slid off the hood of my car, then took three slinky steps forward to nibble on my ear. "There's a park a few blocks away. Your car will be perfect."

I never expected anyone to say that about the 1971 Ford LTD station wagon. An irresponsible lack of insurance for my topless, black-with-flames, 1970 Ford Thunderbird, meant my driver's license had been suspended when I crashed it almost a year prior. I still needed to drive to work, but my other car was a hotrodded 1972 Buick Riviera with a low stance and very loud exhaust. I couldn't risk driving either conspicuous car, due to excess attention from police, so I purchased the most invisible car I could find, for $400. Low demand for such a huge vehicle in 1985, meant that it was in remarkably good condition for the price.

**************

When Erica and I arrived at the tiny, grassy suburban park, we grabbed the folding lawn chairs I used in lieu of a front seat. While holding hands, we relaxed on the well manicured lawn, as the squirrels and hummingbirds went about their furry and feathered business. She stroked my arm, "Ray, you love me, right?"

"Oh, yeah, Erica. Soooo much!"

I occasionally responded with a mock cheesy tone. But most other times, I expressed my love sincerely. She cherished both ways.

Erica's entire sensual body quivered with joy in a girlish giggle. Sometimes her complete vulnerability made womanly Erica appear childlike, and my heart skipped a beat. As my roommate Nick had observed, "I've never seen a girl love anyone as much as Erica loves you."

Her extreme adoration had a tangible downside. I felt an obligation to be a better person than I had ever been, to be worthy of her blinding love. Suppressing my distasteful impulses took a lot out of me.

I know I'm going to hurt her at some point. I don't want to, and don't know how, but it's inevitable...

"So, I have something to tell you, Ray."

Did I forget her birthday? No, that was in March. Our anniversary? What's it been, three months? Fuck, I'm the worst boyfriend...

"I missed my period."

Shit.

What runs through a man's mind when his girlfriend says she's pregnant? It could be joy, anger, dismay, pride, or any and all of those.
In my case, I felt shame. I had always tried to avoid being a cliché, and yet here I sat. An older boss who had knocked up his teenage employee. I had looked up to my band director Mr. Stevenson in high school, who had gotten one of his students pregnant, but I never thought I would follow in his footsteps.

Sometimes, choices are made for us. I was in no way ready, but the clear path in front of me seemed better than any alternative. Mr. Stevenson had made it work, and I didn't have his complications of a wife and a twelve year old son. I could do this, just like countless men before me.

Fuck, I'm scared...

After the moment of reflection, I heard myself say, "Ok, let's get married."

Erica's reaction came before I even finished the sentence. "Yes!"

Well, that was simple. Why do men go to all that trouble to...

"Yes, yes, yes, yessss!"

Erica leaped up from her chair and danced around me. She glowed with a bliss I had not thought possible, even brighter than after I had first kissed her, a lifetime ago in May. Inexplicably, but not surprising, a more banal thought crossed my mind.

Her legs are so long, that every skirt she wears only comes down to mid-thigh. I'm going to...

She broke my lusty daydream by pulling me out of my chair and jumping up on me, with her legs wrapped tightly around my waist. Carrying Erica around stretched the limits of my strength, but I managed it for short durations because I knew how much she loved it. Three months before, I had picked her up off my couch to carry her into bed for our first time, and she had told me afterwards, "That was the hottest thing any man has ever done to me. It's why I got off as soon as you went in!"

Erica continued to shout, "Yes!" over fifty times, while twirling around like...

A schoolgirl. Ah, well. She'll get older, and maybe be a great wife and mother.

I'm scared...

Finally, her eyes slowly transformed from glee to seduction, as she led me back to the car. She purred, "Ray, let's go to the motel for a few hours. Vivian will understand, when I tell her we're engaged."

Engaged. Just like that...

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