"I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away
but baby, I just need one good one to stay"

seb is a lil bean but lets pretend he isn't for now
ily guys

***

It was fine at first, the relationship you mean.

But some things are too good to be true.

You both were so caught up in being happy, not wanting to let the other person hurt, wanting to keep everything perfect.

You just kept shaking the soda bottle, eventually, it had to pop.

And when it did, boy did it overflow.

You met him at a Comic-Con event, you had just happened to be hosting the panel in which he'd be appearing.

His infatuation with you was instant. It was like someone had just flicked a switch.

"I'm Sebastian," he had said to you after. "but you already knew that..."

"I did already know that," you chuckled.

You would tease him about that for days to come.

The soda bottle popped the day he returned from filming The Bronze.

He was so tired, and all he had wanted to do was climb into bed and sleep for days.

But you were angry enough to make that an eternity.

He had forgotten your anniversary, not even sending a text on that day of all days.

You yelled, he screamed and you were both guilty of throwing things.

The night ended in him consoling you and telling you he was so sorry, both of you crying in a ball of tangled, sweaty limbs.

And the day he shattered your heart? How could you ever forget that?

Seeing him come home late, drunk with a shirt that was buttoned so wrongly that it could have been hilarious in a different situation brought tears to your eyes.

His neck was covered in hickeys and his collar had been marked up with all kinds of lipstick.

You threw the underwear you found in his suitcase when you were packing at his dazed face, which caused his eyes to widen immediately.

The night ended the same as the time before.

Sebastian tended to throw "sorry" around like any other word.

He didn't think when he used it, he thought it fixed everything. But "sorry" was just a temporary solution.

It was like using glue to fix a stove.

You had a million overly justified reasons to leave him, but for some reason, you just could never bring yourself to do it.

It was an uncharacteristically quiet, lazy day, the two of you snuggled up on your balcony in a chair, a blanket covering you.

Seb nuzzled his face into your neck and you hummed, closing your eyes and indulging in this feeling.

A good feeling.

But it all ended when he decided to pull out a cigarette.

"Hey, you know I hate when you do that," you said softly, surprised when he actually heard you.

He looked at you, shaking his head and putting it back inside the pack, leaning back into the chair.

He looked very annoyed, it wasn't hard to tell, even if he was wearing a smile at the moment.

"What?" you looked at him and he scoffed.

"God, you're never satisfied with anything I do? Are you?"

"You're obviously annoyed!" you threw your hands up in the air, effectively dropping the blanket that had been covering both of you.

"Of course I'm annoyed! You're such a controlling bitch!" he covered his face and groaned, pushing you off of his lap and walking inside your apartment.

You stood for a while, shocked and stunned by his sudden outburst.

Soon, you marched inside after him, spinning him around and making him face you.

"Do you love me?"

"What the, what the hell kind of question is that?" he stumbled over his words.

"Do you love me?" you repeated.

"W-, yes, of course, I do," he reached for your face but you moved back.

"You have a funny way of showing it," you scoffed and he looked hurt. "you know I should leave you, right? I should make your ass suffer the way I have to."

He stuttered, struggling to find any words to express the way he was feeling at the moment.

"What? Do you have nothing to say?" you yelled, laughing at yourself. "god, not even your worthless 'sorry'?"

He shook his head in confusion, "What are you talking about?"

You pursed your lips, "Every single time we fight, you say 'i'm sorry'. But you never mean it, do you? You never learn. Why should I stay? Why do I have to suffer?"

He ran a hand through his hair and didn't stop the tears from flowing down his face, "I'm so-"

He caught himself.

You laughed, but it wasn't a happy one, "Were you gonna say it again?"

He slowly reached for your hands, and when you didn't resist he took your own in his.

"I-I'll change, really, I will. I know you have millions of reasons to go, but I need you. And I know you don't need me, but please, don't go."

"Give me one good reason," you bit your lip. "one reason that will benefit me if I stay. A good one."

Silence.

"I just need one, Seb," you smiled tearfully. "because I love you so so much. And I only need one good reason to stay with you."

He broke eye contact and looked away from you.

You scoffed.

"That's what I thought."