Requested by: Shannon1300

Prompt: Self given

Warnings: None

Extra: All That Matters from Finding Neverland is freaking amazing. That's all.

~*~

"If you think you can get me to leave, you're very wrong, so don't even try."

Marius hadn't even opened his mouth before I spoke, and he immediately shut up and nodded quickly. Men were considered the better, more powerful sex, but that was far from the truth. Without women, they'd be dead, and because I was aware of that, I wasn't going to be docile and sit back. I was going to join my friends, my family, and fight for the same rights that they were. To be able to eat nice food and have clothes that weren't entirely patches of fabric semi-close to the original.

The barricade in front of us cast a shadow over our group, despite the high sun. Looking around, I noticed that nearly all of the boys were holding guns that were shaking because their hands were. Nervous, frightened; every single one of them. I was too, but I knew how to handle it, and how to both calm myself down and hype myself up.

Stepping up to Gavroche, I bent down to his height and hugged him tightly, long enough that his body relaxed and his arms wrapped around me to return the affection. Then I moved on. Each boy received a hug, and those that were especially nervous received some words of encouragement. I ended with Enjorlas, Marius' brother in everything but blood, the leader of the revolution, and one of my closest friends.

"Vive la France," I whispered in his ear. He whispered it back, and we exchanged tight lipped smiles.

"Vive la France!" Enjorlas yelled, and the group responded with fervor.

Stopping in front of Marius, I hugged him tightly and gave him a slow kiss, mumbling, "I love you Marius."

"I love you too, (Y/n). Let's win this war."

The soldiers arrived no more than thirty minutes later. Guns were fired, shouts of defiance and orders to get back in line were exchanged, and the first casualty on our side was mourned. Eponine. Nice, smart, and madly in love with Marius. I was aware, and I felt awful for the poor girl, but her happiness shouldn't have been dependent on Marius' love, and Marius and I shouldn't have had to drift away from each other for her to achieve satisfaction.

Spirits were a bit lower after that. Things seemed to sink in. We were really going against the government, against the monarchy. We were a revolution in a time where no one dared utter the word out loud. We could die, and no one realized until we had blood on our hands and sadness in our hearts.

The deaths were rolling in after that. Friends who were seconds too slow to react to cannon fire, or to a gunshot from the other side. Those who were too close to the top of the barricade or too far off to the side. Easy pickings. There was no time to mourn, not during our self-waged war. So we pushed on and pushed our feelings down.

The next death that impacted every one of us was Gavroche. He was young. Too young to have stayed with us at the barricade, but none of us had the heart to send him away when he was so excited to fight with us. He was brave enough to crawl through the barricade and gather the ammunition and gunpowder we sorely needed. Strong enough to get shot twice and keep moving. Small enough to collapse from the third bullet to pierce his skin. And weak enough to have the light leave his eyes as we watched and screamed from behind the barricade.

Two ran out and dragged him back behind the barricade. The French didn't shoot. They were just as tired and dispirited as we were. And seemed to be processing that they had just killed a child. Tears were shed, and hope was lost as we sobbed over the boy we all considered our little brother.

It was a blur after that. More cannons were brought in, and more men. All of us were so exhausted, physically and emotionally, that we couldn't bring ourselves to care. The French soldiers would switch out, replenished with each new battalion that came in. We, on the other hand,were stuck with the people we had left.

"Marius, we need to leave," I pulled on his hand. He watched in horror as five were left, fighting to their last breath, "Marius!"

"No. No, no, no!" He'd been shot in the shoulder. The blood seeped through his shirt. He didn't care, "We can't leave!"

Two were left. Then one. Then none. Where was Enjorlas? Under the other bodies of the people I saw as a family? Dead along with our dreams of revolution? There was no other explanation, and it threw Marius and I both into despair.

"How could you!" He yelled at the barricade. I assumed it was meant to be heard by the rapidly approaching French soldiers, "You work under a king that starves his own people while he lives in luxury!"

"Marius," I hissed, gripping his hand even tighter as the sound of footsteps became even clearer, "I know how upsetting this is, but we need to go!"

Marius was too broken to argue again. I pulled him along as we rushed behind the ABC Cafe, and down the nearest side street. But we wouldn't be safe until we were as far away as possible. So I picked up our pace, only stopping when Marius fell to his knees and let out a sob.

"Marius," I sighed, sinking down next to him, stroking his hair, "We did the best we could. But stopping now, allowing ourselves to be caught and killed on sight because we decided to give up will do nothing for their memory."

Their. I couldn't say their names because there were too many names to say. So many lost, and so many people we had to push on for.

"Nothing else matters," he whispered.

"No," I shook my head slowly, cupping his cheek, "All that matters now, is where we go from here. There's an easier way if we live for today. The beating of our hearts is all that matters."

I used Marius' good arm to pull him up, beginning our trek to the nearest hospital again. There was a church two streets away, and far enough from the carnage that no soldiers would come poking in trying to kill us.

Turning back to meet his eyes, I hummed, "You make sense of all of my chaos in ways I can never explain.You turn all of my sadness into a smile.You're helping me live life again. It's a glimpse of a life I dared only to dream. And a dream only life could restore."

Stepping into the hospital, nuns were immediately surrounding us and rushing Marius off to be taken care of. They wouldn't turn us in, nor would they ask questions about how he was hurt. They were there to help, nothing more, nothing less.

I was led off to a room so I could bathe and sleep. The nuns did nothing but give me a hug as I wept.

~*~

Two months later was our wedding day. Marius returned to his higher class life, with his only condition being that I was accepted into his family without question. Consider how his grandfather had been begging him to return since he left, they were more than happy to welcome me with open arms and assist in planning a wedding.

The wedding was nice. In a large ballroom with delicious food and more presents on a table than I knew what to do with. Everyone was in fancy dresses and expensive suits and I felt more out of place than ever. Two months earlier I'd been fighting with my family for equality. At my wedding, I was rubbing elbows with people wearing jewelry that could have fed everyone in the cafe for months.

Still, with Marius by my side, I was okay. We'd mourned together, cried together, and inevitably healed together. A revolution would rise again. We never said it out loud, but we knew. The people would never stay quiet, and we'd make sure we were alive to see the day France rose anew. Because of all of that, I held more love for him in my heart than any other person.

"And all that matters now is where we go from here," Marius began as we swayed together in a dance.

"There's an easier way. If we live for today," I continued.

"The singing in our hearts," we concluded together, "Is all that matters."