Requested by: _stellastyless

Prompt: Self given

Warnings: None

Extra: I'm probably going to write a part 2 for this at some point because I have ideas for the rest of the years.

~*~

Year One

Shoulders back, chin up, confidence obvious. Everything a pureblood should be, everything I should have been. The train was busier than I thought it would be, but I shouldn't have been surprised considering how late I was running that morning- my parents took it upon themselves to remind me of everything that was at stake during my year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Then I saw a cart with an open seat, or open space at the very least. Red hair most likely meant a Weasley, pureblood but not respectable. The boy next to him was a nobody until he turned to look at me. I met his eyes and something about them stirred my instincts. I didn't know him, but I knew him.

Before I could slide open the door and regretfully ask if I could sit there, I felt a strong hand on my arm pulling me along.

"Draco," I greeted, biting back a smile. My favorite cousin, the only one who understood me in ways my parents never could.

"Don't tell me you were thinking of sitting with a disgrace and a nobody," Draco chided, leading me to a cabin he had likely claimed much earlier.

"It's not like I would have any other choice. Would you rather I sit on the aisle?" I asked sarcastically, pushing my luggage into the storage and taking a seat.

"It'd be better than to ruin your reputation."

"You sound like my parents," I scowled, "I assumed you of all people would be a bit more lenient."

Scoffing, Draco turned to look out the window. Rolling my eyes, I settled in for the train ride. I wasn't going to allow anything to spoil my mood so quickly. It was a year away from my family, and a year away from their watchful eyes. Knowing them, however, they'd find ways to watch my every move and criticize what I did that could potentially reflect on the family in a negative light.

My mood turned sour again.

~*~

Hogwarts was grand, a giant castle that just screamed "magic". A rather large man led us across the lake on boats. An old tradition, meant to give the second years and above more time to settle into the castle.

All of us were herded into the entrance and instructed to wait. Without me noticing, Draco had left my side. When I did notice, another girl had already come up beside me.

"I'm Pansy Parkinson," she greeted with a broad smile, holding out her hand.

"(Y/n) (L/n)," I took her hand, not bothering to return her smile. The Parkinson's were a pureblood family, respected, but not as high in the hierarchy as our families. I could handle being friends with her.

"Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts," Draco's voice rang through the entryway.

My head jerked toward the sound, and I saw Daco facing the same poorly dressed boy I almost sat with on the train. That explained the power he seemed to be emanating. Power he didn't even know he had.

Harry Potter had been hidden from the Wizarding World ever since Voldemort killed his parents, which was likely why he didn't understand why denying Draco's friendship would likely turn against him in the future, although Draco could be a bit of an arse.

Then he met my eyes again, and I instinctively glared. The Boy Who Lived was attending Hogwarts? Well, that would be very interesting.

Second Year

To say that Hogwarts was a pleasant experience second year would be a lie. Students were becoming paralyzed at an increasingly rapid pace, and everyone was looking at Slytherin. I was proud of my house, of our attributes and the power we were willing to use for our goals, but others didn't share the same outlook, one of which being Harry Potter and his Golden Trio.

After what happened our first year with the Sorcerer's Stone, I assumed he'd be at the center of the attacks happening on Mudbloods as well. Though, I didn't realize how involved at first.

"You truly think that will help?" I asked skeptically, "Half the time it feels like a betting game."

Cedric Diggory, Hufflepuff team seeker and potential team captain chuckled, "When I was a chaser it felt like that too, but there's also strategy behind it. The Parson's Pincer works well, as well as certain feints. I can show you those next time."

"Thanks, Cedric."

Every week, when neither of us were overloaded with schoolwork or other obligations, Cedric and I would meet on the Quidditch field to practice together. It was a strange dynamic, and even stranger story on how it began. While Draco bribed his way onto the Quidditch team, I worked my arse off and miraculously made it onto the team through tryouts - though I'm sure there was something deeper going on there.

Cedric Diggory liked to use the Quidditch field to practice when no one else was there just like I did, and that inadvertently led to our first meeting and more meetings after that. I enjoyed his company, and his bloodline was clean enough to be acceptable as a friend.

When I stepped into the common room, Draco was lounging on the couch across from Crabbe and Goyle. They all perked up when I stepped inside.

"And where were you?"

"Out on the Quidditch pitch, practicing for our next game like you should be," I frowned at Draco's attitude.

"Don't tell me you were practicing with that disgrace, Cedric Diggory."

Rolling my eyes again, I set my broom against the coffee table and sat down next to Draco, grateful for the chance to rest my legs after so much balancing on my broom.

"You know, I'm surprised the Daily Prophet hasn't done a report on all these attacks. I suppose Dumbledore is trying to hush it all up. Father always said that Dumbledore was the worst thing that ever happened to this place-"

"You're wrong," Goyle cried out. I raised a brow in surprise. Crabbe and Goyle were the most stereotypical lackies that Draco could have found in Hogwarts. Stupid, and stupidly loyal to him as well. They barely spoke, much less spoke out against him.

Darco noticed as well, and stood, "What? You think there's someone worse than Dumbledore?"

Goyle was at a loss for words. My curiosity piqued. If he said something like that, he would have at least had an idea of who he could say after that. Someone like Professor McGonagall or Hagrid, or even-

"Harry Potter," I jumped in, bringing everyone's attention to me, "Obviously he meant that Harry Potter is worse than Dumbledore."

Draco was satisfied with that answer and nodded, "You're right, Goyle. Potter. And people actually think he's the heir of Slytherin."

Crabbe and Goyle shared looks. But, they weren't Crabbe and Goyle at all, were they? The mannerisms, what they were saying, they seemed so out of place because they truly didn't belong with me and Draco in the Slytherin common room.

"But then you must have some idea who's behind it all."

"You know I don't, I told you yesterday. How many times do I have to tell you?"

If Crabbe and Goyle were who I truly thought they were, then they'd put a stop to what was happening. No matter how much I hated people for their constant incompetence, whatever had awakened wouldn't stop.

"My parents said that it's been fifty years since the chamber was open," I offered, acting as though I was sharing a casual story when I was truly giving out sorely needed information, "They wouldn't say who opened it, but whoever did was expelled. The last time it was opened a girl died."

"A mudblood," Darco added, "So it's only a matter of time until another one dies. As for me, I hope it's Granger."

Crabbe jumped to his feet, face red with anger. Goyle held him back just before he could actually make a move on Draco.

"What's the matter with you two? You're acting very odd," Draco noted.

"It's his stomachache."

Without warning, the two of them ran out of the common room.

"Hey! Where are you two going?" Draco cried, but didn't both to go after them.

Standing, I was quick to run after the pair. I had to be sure, I had to know if my hunch was correct or if I was just exhausted and paranoid.

"Crabbe, Goyle!" I called, but the two of them kept running. I wasn't going to give up easily.

"Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley!" I yelled, causing the two of them to pause. That gave me enough time to catch up to them and turn them around. A polyjuice potion, by the looks of how it was wearing off, "What do you think you're doing."

"Trying to solve this," Ron snapped, "What? Are you going to tell your father about this?"

Scowling hard enough to make Ron take a shocked step back, I looked to Harry, "What you did was idiotic, and could have very well gotten you severly punished. Both of you are idiots for trying this... but solve this. Mudbloods or not, those people don't deserve to die."

Harry nodded slightly, even less Goyle-like than he had been minutes before. I stepped back and let them walk away.

"And don't try it again or I'll curse you!" I called after them, satisfied.

A few days later the attacks stopped, and stories of Harry Potter saving the day once again spread around the school like wildfire. Draco was furious, "Stupid Potter always getting all the attention" he whined. I pretended to be angry too, complained to my parents about what it did for Slytherin, glared at any Gryffindor students along with Draco, but when Harry looked over to me during the House Cup celebration, my glare was bought out by a smile.

Third Year

I met Harry on the Quidditch field in the middle of our third year. It was completely coincidental. Cedric was busy that week with a big project so I was left to my own devices. Well, I was until Harry walked out.

Both of us seemed to be ignoring the rules about teacher escorts and travelling in packs in favor of alone time to practice. Although we weren't alone anymore.

"Do you know what a Parkin's Pincer is, Potter?" I asked, "Or has being raised by Muggles made you ignorant to that as you are everything else in the Wizarding World?"

"I'm not in the mood, (L/n)," Harry snapped, flying away from me.

Undeterred, I followed after him, "Well Potter, rumor has it that Sirius Black is out for your blood. And yet here you are, training. Worried for the Quidditch season? Afraid that Slytherin is going to get ahead?"

"What did you say about Sirius Black?"

"Didn't you know? Sirius Black used to be close friends with your parents, but he betrayed them for Voldemort and that's how he discovered their location. You got away, and now he has to come after you." Harry seemed to become more and more distraught as I revealed this, and I realized that he probably had little to no idea about Sirius Black, "Don't tell me no one trusts you enough to know the truth?"

Scoffing, Harry looked away but didn't answer. So no one had told him about Sirius Black then, and he had to hear it from someone who both consistently insulted him and helped him. Sighing, I took pity on him and changed the subject.

"Enough of that. Have you ever tried broom balancing? It's an art, and takes time to master. Let's see if you're as useless with that as you are with a quill."

I spent the rest of the afternoon trying to show Harry how to balance whilst standing on his broom. It was a long process, full of mistakes on both of our parts - and both of us were more than happy to mock the other for it, but overall I enjoyed doing something less serious than my normal training routine.

Later that year Hermione Granger punched Draco in the face for mocking Hagrid and the poor Hippogriff that was going to be executed on his behalf. Draco ran off with Crabbe and Goyle by his side, but I strayed for a moment. Hermione and Ron seemed less than thrilled about it, and I wouldn't be surprised if either of them punched me next. So I took my leave.

"You've been practicing I hope, so you aren't as useless as last time," I mumbled to Harry.

"I won't be," he snapped.

Fourth Year

The Yule Ball was meant to be a night of fun and letting loose. For the first time in years, I felt completely free. Even under the watchful eyes of the student body as I danced with Cedric as his date. There was no pressure to be the perfect daughter or to keep up the facade that I hated everything as if that would improve the way my family was seen.

Laughing at a joke Cedric made about the teachers dancing around us, I turned to the person who tapped my shoulder. Instead of frowning like I normally would when I met Harry's eyes, my smile broadened.

"Do you- do you want to dance?" He asked loudly over the music.

Looking to Cedric, he gave me a nod and another smile. Knowing that he'd be okay with me leaving for a few minutes, I nodded and took Harry's hand. The music had just switched from upbeat to something a bit slower.

"Where's your date, Mr. Champion?" I asked curiously.

"Dancing with someone else," Harry didn't seem very upset about it.

"Oh, so I'm a second choice, then?" I asked with a raised brow, giggling when he seemed to panic, "I'm kidding, don't worry. Still, why ask me to dance with you?"

"Well, maybe I wanted to make fun of your dress," Harry offered.

"You'd rather make fun of my dress rather than Ron's dress robes? You're too weak for him if that's the case, Potter."

"I'm the weak one? You've been smiling all night and I've never seen you smile before," Harry teased back, "Since when are you capable of happiness?"

"Haha, very funny, Potter. Tonight is meant for fun, of course I'm going to smile a bit. Don't let it get to your head, you aren't the reason for it."

The song ended, but I didn't want to leave. Harry was nice, I liked him. I liked him, and I would never have another chance to be close to him. Not when my family despised him, and not when they were already discussing potential matches that would keep our bloodline pure.

"Harry, there's something I need to tell you and I'm afraid I'll lose my courage," I forced out, unsure of the source of the emotions bubbling inside me, "When I first met you I didn't particularly like you, but now I see that you're brave, and loyal, and kind, and I-"

"Let's go, (Y/n)," someone roughly grabbed my arm and pulled me away from Harry, cutting my confession off.

"Malfoy-"

"Don't you start, Potter. I need to speak to my dear cousin," Draco growled as he pulled me away. I caught Cedric's eye on my way out, and frantically shook my head when he stepped towards us. He didn't need to get in the middle of what was about to happen. He seemed hesitant, but understood that he couldn't help.

"Bloody hell, Draco, what are you doing?" I hissed when Draco finally stopped in the hallway outside the dance.

"No, what are you doing, (Y/n)," Draco shot back, "Dancing with Potter of all people? Going on about how wonderful he is? Stop it! Go back in there and return to Cedric Diggory. Your parents like Cedric, they'd be willing to let you marry him-"

"I don't like him like that, Draco. He's my best friend and nothing more! I don't want to think about marriage or engagements. I want to have fun and enjoy myself for once in my life! Why couldn't you let me have that?"

"Because it will falsely get your hopes up," Draco's voice lowered, the anger leaving, "(Y/n), do you truly think our families would ever let you be with someone like Harry Potter when they sided with Voldemort the first time?"

"Lower your voice, Draco!" My eyes darted around for any possible eavesdroppers, "Our parents aren't here now, are they? I understand that I can't... not with Potter, never with Potter, but this is the one night of my life where I could at least pretend. Something is brewing Draco, something has been since our first year. Who do you think was behind Harry's name being put in the goblet?"

Hand on my cheek, Draco slowly shook his head, "Oh, (Y/n). We both know who did. And we know what's going to become of us as well after this year."

"It doesn't have to be that way."

"What choice do we have?"

Not able to answer, I bit back my tears and pulled Draco into a hug. My night of pretending was over.

~*~

The students of Durmstrang and Beauxbatons were saying their final goodbyes, off to their respective schools. Students were crowded around the front of the school to wave goodbye. But I stayed at the back. Draco hadn't even bothered leaving the common room to say goodbye. Neither of us had bonded with any of the new students. But I didn't want to stay in the common room. I needed air, and space away from Draco's concerned glances.

"If you keep sitting there by yourself people will think you aren't popular anymore," Harry quipped from beside me, leaning against a pillar.

"Popularity is useless, but unavoidable when you have my family," I sighed, sending him a glance, "Why aren't you with Ron and Hermione?"

"They can wait for a minute. I'd rather talk to you."

"Watch it Potter, people might start thinking that you care about me," I smiled, but it quickly fell as I remembered the Yule Ball. Draco was right. It was either choose my family or choose my heart, and I had no idea which was better. But more than that, my best friend was gone. Murdered by the man I'd soon have to call my master, "I miss him."

"He talked about you," Harry stated, "Before the competitions. That's why you were his person for the second trial, because he loved you so much."

"He was my best friend, and I had so much hope for him. I knew the competition was rigged in your favor, that there was someone out there who needed you to win this for whatever reason, but he got so close. He touched the trophy..."

Harry put an arm around my shoulder, and I couldn't find the heart to push him away. He wasn't pitying me, or trying to give me comfort while pretending like he understood. He understood, And that was all I needed.

"If you ever tell anyone about this I'll track you down," I mumbled, but both of us knew it was an empty threat.

So we stood there in a comfortable silence, knowing full well that nothing would be the same. Yet as I leaned into Harry's warmth, I couldn't bring myself to care.