" Eeman tera lutt gya rehzan ke hath se,
Eeman tera bacha le wo rehbar talash kr "
~ Iqbal

Few hours before ,

" You've a visitor who wants to meet you "

1 bjne mai abhi derh ghanta baqi tha, aur mjhe kisi ki bhi amad ki tawaqa nahi thi. Mjhse kon aur kiun milne ata? Sweeper ne akar mjhe kndhe se jhinjora aur phir main apni chadar mai munh chupaye jail ki salakho ke bal teka lagaye betha hua tha. Chand qadmon ki chaap mere qareeb akar thehri.

" Mjhe.. Ap se kuch bat krni hay, Maahrit ke bare main "

Wo lrki bahar kharri mjhse mukhatib thi lekin main usse bat krne mai koi dilchaspi nai rkhta tha.

" Meri bat ek bar sun lijye, hoskta hay apka aur mera gham ek hi ho. "

Pata nahi wo kya kehna chah rhi thi, lekin Maahrit ne mjhse kbhi apni behn ke bare main tfseel se discuss nahi kya tha aur hmare beech behas ka mozu hmesha hum hi hote thay, ya phir uski shooting ya phir mera bewuqat pyar.

' Shayad mjhe kisi ghamgusar ki zaroorat ab nahu, mjhe derh ghante main sazae maut hone wali hay. Mere ghamo ka khatma zindagi ke khatam hone se hi hoga. Ap ja skti hain. '

" Pls meri baat suno. Main nahi janti ke ap dono main kya tkrar thi lekin ye zroor janti hu ke ap Maahrit se mohabbat krte thay. "

Wo mere response ke liye thori der ruk gyi magar mjhe chup dekh kr phr se goya hui.

" Main janti hu ke wo bohat takleef main hay, usse cirrhosis hua tha aur jiski wjah se uska liver kafi had tk damage hua hay. Aur main ye bhi janti hu ke Ap usse donate krna chahte ho. Lekin, yehi hasrat main bhi rkhti hu. Apko kya lagta hay apki Maahrit apko kbhi maaf kregi? Aur agar maaf kr bhi de tw bhool payegi? "

' Kya bkwas kr rhi ho? Maahrit sirf mjhse naraz hay, lekin ye main janta hun ke wo mjhse ktna pyar krti hay. Isiliye main chahta hun ke jab apna azu usse tohfe main pesh kruga tw wo yqeenan pighal jayegi aur maan jayegi beshak phir uske baad meri zindagi khtm hojaygi lekin sukun hoga ke main usmai zinda rahuga. '

Main ne cigarette ka kash lgate huay kaha, yahan pr rehne ke baad se mjhmai ye buri aadat agayi thi ke main apne nasoor zakhmo ko khud hi sulghata khud hi dhota phr sulghata aur phir dhota.

" Main apko apne bare main zyada kuch tw nahi kahugi pr itna batana chahti hu ke apki trah main bhi kaffara ada krna chahti hu. Maine hmesha usse bura smjha. Main ye nahi kehti ke tm uski madad na karo, magar ek drkhwast hay.Main ye nahi bata skti ke main kon hu lekin hum aik jese hain. "

Ye anjan lrki mjhse kya drkhwast kr skti hay?

' Kaho. '

" Jb tmse tmhari akhri khuwahish puchi jayegi tw mjhe pata hay tm zroor usse milna chahoge, ek baar ke liye sahi apni nzron main mehfooz krna chahoge. Tum usse ye paper de dena. Main yahan se door ja rhi hu. Mjhmai ye hosla nahi ke usse maafi mangu , uski ankhon se apni ankhen milaun. Main apni maa se milna chahti hu. Bus tm usse ye de dena, aur usse ek guzarish krna ke wo mere samne kbhi na aye. "

' Lekin tum kyun chahti ho aesa? Tmne mjhse bura tw nahi kya hoga uske sath yaqeenan? Aur jb mai tmhe janta hi nahi tw tmhari bat kese smjhuga? '

Ab main uski traf rukh morr chuka tha, chaadar munh pr hi tha, main nahi chahta tha ke wo mjhe dekhe.

" Lmbi kahani hay aur abhi waqt na tmhare pas hay na mere paas. Jis wjah se maine Maahrit ko tkleef ponhchai wo meri ghalatfehmi thi. Mere paas maafi mangne ke ilawe aur koi hal nahi ke uske paas ja kr usse milu. Maa ke paas jane ke liye islye tarap rhi hu kyunke main ne unhe nzar andaz kya hay, aur apni zindagi ke akhri lmhaat unke pas jeena chahti hun. "

' Akhri lamhat? '

" Main ek drug abuser hun, bohat koshish ki maine ke khud ko door rkhu khud ko bachaun pr nahi bacha saki. Jis ka sahara le kr maine ye sb kuch kya, Uss ne mjhe aesa dhoka dya ke ankhon main dhool jhonkte huay bhi main usse hamdard smjhti rahi. Kher. Ap usse ye paper zroor dena. Khuda Hafiz "

••••

Present,

" Mjhe donate kis ne kya hay Saamer? Hmain usse milna chahye... Apko nahi lgta? "

Soup peete huay Maahrit ne mjhse achanak sawal kya, mjhe bhi ye janna tha lekin uski shart yahi thi ke kisi ko bhi dene wale ka naam pata na chale.

' Lekin doctor ne yahi btaya hay ke uski akhri shart yahi thi tw hum uske khilaf kese ho skte hain? Tum dua kro uske haq main , isse acha aur kya hoskta hay? '

Main ab uske paas akar beth gya tha. Main chah rha tha ke wo soup main bhi piyu, bus moqe ke talash main tha choonke wo uski mama ne bnaya tha wo usse bohat pasnd tha.

' Hmm, bohat mazay ka hay. Aunty ap ne ye sara iske liye hi bnayaa tha , mera kya? Damad bhi tw bete jese hote hain. '

Jhoot mooth ka udaas hote huay maine munh latka dya, ussi waqt Maahrit ne apna bowl mjhse cheen lya aur sara soup hum dono ke kpron pr gir gya.

" Ye kya kia tmne, itni mushkil se maine kpre bdle thay. Mama dekhen na! "

Maahrit ne bchon ki trah aunty se shikayat krte huay mjhe hlka sa maara aur phir aunty bhi meri traf ho kr hnsne lagin.

" Haan bhaiee, ye bhi tw mera beta hay. Tm kiun nahi de rhi thi usse soup, ek do chamchay peene se konsa kam hojata? "

Unho ne usse pyar se dant'te huay kaha, aur mere chehre pr ek fatihana muskurahat phel gyi aur main Maahrit ko done brows uchka kr cher rha tha.

" Acha tum dono change krlo, main bahir wait kr rhi hun. "

Ye kehna tha ke meri bateesi aur phel gyi aur wo bechari sharm se laal apna munh dupatte main chupane lagi. Aesa bhi kucu nahi kaha tha aunty ne lekin uss ne " uss sense " main le lya tha tw ab uski tang khenchna tw bnta tha.

' Tm khud change krlogi ya phir mjhe hi tmhare bhi change krne parege? '

Bus, itna kehna tha ke uss ne apni ankhon ko talwar bana kr mjhe kaat dala.

" Tumhe sharam nahi ati? "

Ghusse se bhari uske gaal surkh aur naak bhi phooli hui thi, dil chah rha tha ke main uski naak khenchu aur dil ki frmanbrdari main maine uske qareeb masumiat se jate huay ye kr bhi dya!

'' Ouch! Bdtmeez , tumhe tw main batati hu "

' Kya bataogi mjhe? '

" Yahi ke tameez kese seekhte hain, ao. "

Uss ne mera hath pkra aur mjhe washroom ki traf ghaseetne lagi, bawjood uski kmzori ke uske andar badla lene ke liye purjosh phurti agayi thi.

" Ab yahan pr tm kroge change aur main ne tmhe bahar se kundi laga li hay. Waheen pe rehna lock. "

Kitni bholi hay, mjhse tw hnsi control nahi ho rhi thi. Wo ye bat bhool jati thi ke main yahn se aram se chooth kr bahar asakta hun. Lekin maine uska sath dya, aur chup chaap uska zulm sehne laga. Tqreeban dus minute guzre honge ke usse mjh pr khudi taras agaya aur uss ne drwaza khol dya.

' Taras agaya mjh pe? '

" Nahi , mjhe ye yaad agaya ke tm kon ho aur socha ke tm agar mjhe kpre bdlte huay dekh lo tw mjhe pata bhi nahi chlega. Bus islye. "

' Tmhara matlab main tmhe dekh skta hu? '

Iske jawab main wo khamosh rahi, aur divider ke piche chup kr apni dressing change krne lg gyi. Divider aesa tha ke uski jhalak main dekh skta tha. Andha kya chahe do ankhen. Main bhi wese hi honaqo ki trah ussi simt dekhe ja rha tha, ye bhi hosh nahi tha ke mai abhi tk ussi halat main kharra hu.

Wo do minute main bdl kr bahar agayi aur phir mjhe sar se paun tk ghoorne lagi,

" Lgta hay tmhe yunhi rehna hay. Soup bohat psnd hay na. "

Aur phir wo hnsne lagi aur mere paas akar sargoshi ki,

" Tum chaho tw tm bhi wahan badal skte ho. Tmhari trah main taa'nk jhaa'nk nahi krugi. "

' Nahi main wo... '

" Hum husband wife hain tw hmara haq hay ek dusre par, lekin mjhe thora waqt chahye. Mjhe pata hay tm mjhse mohabbat krte ho, aur shayd... "

' Shayad? '

Mere dil ki dharkanen uske shayd pr rukne lagi thi aur tbhi drwaze pr dstak hui.

" Maahrit, tumse kuch kehna hay mjhe. Drwaza khol do, aur doctor bhi yaheen wait kr rha hay. "

Aunty ne ache bhale waqt ko khrab krdya tha, ab kr bhi kya skta tha mai. Behtr hota ke main fatafat change krlu aur phir maine yahi kya, wrna wo ye sochti ke itni der tk najane andr kya chalrha tha!

" Mjhe pata hay ke donor kon hay, lekin shyd ye bat tumhe tkleef de. "

Aunty ke hath main ek brown lifafa tha, aur wo ab kmre main dakhil hochuki thin.

' The donor asked us to give you this, before the surgery. '

Doctor ne Maahrit ke samne safed phool pesh krte huay kaha.

" Zulaym? "