This chapter has been edited.

Makkah main hum ne beshumaar rehmatein samet li thi, lekin phir bhi mera dil nahi bhara tha... Aur wahan se dil kiska bhar skta h bhala? Aj hum yahan se nikal kr madeena jane wale thay lekin mjhe pata tha ke abhi nikl gye tw phr pata nahi kb wapas ana ho, islye maine mama baba se request ki wo mjhe ek din yahin rukne den.

Yahan security sakht thi islye wo pehle thora jhijakte rahe, lekin mere bohat israr krne pr wo akhir maan gye aur hidayat dee ke main kaheen yahan se bahar na niklu. Hum fajar ke baad yahan se rawana ho kr Masjid un Nabwi jane wale thay.

Maine socha raat ka manzar bhi apni ankhon main qaid krlu, ek bar tahajjud ka maza yahan pr bhi utha lu.

Mere paas phir se ek jahaz urrne laga, maine socha ye mera tkhyul hay, ankhe rgr rgr kr surkh krdin magar wo wahin hua main sakat tha. Isse pehle ke koi dekh kr mjh pr shuba krta, maine jldi se usse apne hath mai liya.

Main tumse aur door nahi rek skta, Pls mjhe ek moqa do.
Aur agar tum nahi dogi, tw phr main yahan aya hun tw khud tumhe iske dar se maang kr aur le kr hi jauga.
~Saamer Abdaan

La hawla wala quwwat! Kesa sarphira hay ye, is muqaddas jagah ka bhi khyal nahi isse?

Maine wo jahaz phar kr tukre krdye aur apne bag main rkhdya. Aur wpas se pillar se teka lagaye beth gyi. Main jahan bethi thi wahan dse mjhe Kaabah ka best view bhi araha tha aur mera dil kr rha tha ke wahan jaun aur bus kaabah se lipatt jaun. Roun. Aur gir'giraun. Usse apni zindagi ko snwarne ki bheek mangu. Usse uski mohabbat mangu. Kaabe se lipat kr itna rowu itna rowu ke mere sare ansoo khushk hojayen... Iztirab tha ke brhta ja rha tha, khamosh ansoo ankho mai jam gye thay.

Main ne uth kr kaabah ke mutaaf ki traf qadam brhaya hi tha, ke ek police wale ne mjhe rok dya. Uss ne gharri ki traf ishara kya aur kaha 10 mint baad aana.

Ab main smjhi ke shayad 10 mint tk khrri ho skti hu. Tw maine andar ja kr Tahajjud ke liye apni pehli rakat shuru krdi.

Mera dil chah rha tha ke aur koi lmbi surat prhu magar main afsurda thi ke mjhe Quran hifz nahi tha. Salaam pherne ke baad maine soch lya tha ke ab mjhe Quran hifz krna hay. Ta'ake jb agli baar aasaku tw lmbi soorat prhte prhte waqt ka ehsas na ho aur main wahin wese hi jami hui kharri rhu.

Lekin wo police wala phir namudar hua aur is bar mjhe ghusse se dekh rha tha,

( La tafham? qult 'anah kan 10 daqiqatan lilsayidat alwaqt )

Main uska munh tkti rehgyi aur wo mere sar pe khrra mere uthne ka intezar kr rha tha.

Itne main saamer kaheen se aa warid hua aur kuch uss police wale se baat krne laga, aur phir wo usse musafha krke wahan se chala gya.

" Wo keh rha tha ke 10 minute baad aurton ka time hoga. Tum 10 minute tw ruk hi skti ho. Abhi fajar main bohat time rehta hay. "

Aik bar phir wo mere difa ke liye agaya tha, lekin main usse nahi milna chahti thi islye wahan se usse kuch baat kiye bghair murr gyi.

" Main tumhare waalid ko janta hun, main unse tumhara hath nikkah ke liye khud aj manguga. "

Wo mere samne akar mjhse mukhatib hua aur phir apni baat keh kr wahan se chla gya. Main dubara ussi soch main thi ke baba ne mjhse saamera ka tzkira kya tha, iska mtlb wo jaante thay usse? Lekin wo kiun atay hi meri zindagi main dakhal de rhe thay. Mtlb meri soch badal chuki thi lekin ab bhi main apni zindagi ke maazi se bht ghbrati thi islye mamma jo insb halat se waqif thee wo iss mamle pr koi mubahisa nahi krti thi.

Lekin main baba ko apna past bataugi tw wo bohat hurt honge? Kya karu main... Aur aese andar hi andar ghutt bhi nahi skti, ye Saamer tw mjhse nikkah krke hi chorega.

YA Allah, Mere malik tu hi mjhe koi mashal dikha...

Tahajjud ke liye khrre hone ke baad main khud ko Allah ke hisaar main mehsus kr rhi thi, aesa lagrha tha mere gird sb kuch sakat hogya hay aur srf main hu aur mera Allah. Maine bohat suna tha ke tahajjud aik aesa waqt hay jismai ap Allah se mangte hain tw wo apko zaroor ata krta hay, haan albatta tb bhi na kare tw uski wjah sirf apki bhalai hoti hay.

Maine Uski bargah main haath uthaye, ansuon ko jaari hone dya, aur phir sar ko jhuka kr sjde mai dua mangne lagi.

Main chahti thi ke wo mjhe maaf krde, wo mjhe mere gunaho se paak krde, wo mera dost bana rahe, meri zindagi ke har marhale pe mere sath rahe.

Ya Allah! Ay mere Malik, Ay mere Rabb, Ay mere Parwardigaar!

Ya Rahman, Tu mjh pr mere aur mere qarabat'daron pr aese rehm frma jesa Tu Rehman hay, hmare dil e soz ko Ya Salaam sukun aur salamti se bhar de,
Ya Muhaymin! Tu hmari hifazat frma, meri hifazat frma! Tu jaanta hay main bohat kmzor hu, Ya Bari, Ya Musawwir! Tu mere zahir aur baatin ko sanwaar de, mere dil main Tu bas jaa aur isse munawwar kr aur mehka de, meri zaat ko mere har zarre ko apni mohabbat ke har juz se piro de, Tu Latif hay Tu Ghaffar hay mere gunaaho ko aese darguzar kar jese Tu ne kbhi unhe dekha hi nahi, Ya Qahhar, hashar ke din Tu meri pakkar sakht na krna mere hisaab ko asaan krna, Ya Mujeeb meri in sab duaon ko ek baar mere marne se pehle qabool krle kiunke Tu Waasi hay Tere liye kuch bhi mehdud nahi, Tu Qadeer hay Tu jo chahe wo krskta hay... Meri zindagi Teri hay, Meri jaan Teri hay, Ya Hakim ul Wadood Tu apni danai se mere khali pan ko pur krde, isse sirf Teri mohabbat ka haqdar bana sirf Tere qabil bana, Ya Mateen mjhe zindagi ki har azmaisho pr istaqamat de mjhe sabar de aur hosla de, Ayub aur Yusuf (Alaihi Salam) jesa, Ibraheem(Alaihi Salam) aur Mohammed ( Sallalahu Alaihi Wassalam ) jesa... Meri baatin ki zulmat ko door frma aur iski islaah frma... Tera naam Afu hay Tera naam Rauf hay Tera naam Tawwab hay, tujhe kin kin naamo se pukaron? Mjhe maaf frma, main aesi gunehgaar hun ke shayad zameen ka wazan mere gunaho ke agay kam prr jaye, lekin Teri rehmat wo drya hay jo mere ek ansoo se bohat areez hay... Ya Mughni , mera dil badal de, Ay Rabbe Zuljalal...

Rote rote mere ansoo khushk hogye thay, main chah rhi thi ke wo phir se brsen magar aesa nahi ho rha tha. Hont khushk thay, abhi maine sjde se sar uthay hi tha ke saamer mere samne zamzam ka glass pkre niche dekh rha tha.

Phir uss ne wo glass mjhse zara fasle pr rkha aur

" Main nahi jaanta tha ke mjhe tumhe paane ke liye Uss se arzi leni paregi. Lwkin ab mai bhi usse piche nahi hatuga. "

Ye keh kr wo thora door shayad tahajud ke liye, hath bandhne laga.

Main ne pani le kr apne khushk halq main undel dya, ab mere dil ko kuch qarar lgrha tha aur dil main zamzam ki mithas ghul rhi thi.

Kuch hi der main fajar ki azaan hone lagi, aur phir mamma baba bhi agaye thay.

Maine bohat koshish ki ke baba se iss bare main kuch baat kru, magar main nahi krpai. Jhijak thi ya sharam main nahi janti thi. Lekin main isstrah uske na'mehram hote huay uske bare main nahi sochna chahti thi.

Main ne tay krlya tha ke agar waqae baba iss lrke se meri shadi krwana chahte hain tw main iss bina pr karugi ke wo mjhse mera kal na jaane, aur uske ilawa main baba ko bhi nahi btana chahti thi.

Mera kal itna khaufnak tha ke mumkin tha ke wo aj ki khushyo ko apne saaye main le kr taareek krde.

A/N :

Iss chapter ke liye suitable quote btayein aur ek lucky accept hone ke baad, I will follow them myself :)

So send in your quotes, comment inline pls !