Avni got discharged after given some medicines and some precautions to be followed. Neil brought her home.

Doctor told them that they still have two weeks time to decide.
Whether they want to go for a safe abortion....Or they want to risk avni's life by carrying on this pregnancy.

At home

Whole day went in silence. They dont even want to talk about it , so how will they reach to a decision.
Everytime they talk, their eyes gets filled with tears...and they end up not reaching any conclusion.

Neil went into kitchen to prepare the food for them. While avni was resting in her room.

She became silent since she got back from hospital.

She looked at all those toys and clothes she bought for her kid. Her eyes got tears, holding those baby clothes in her hands.

She closed her eyes and all those visuals of that baby came in front of her eyes.....the baby she met in that park......
His innocent smile brought a smile on her face......but the moment she opened her eyes....everything vanishes and reality hits her hard.

She placed her hand over her stomach and talked to her baby.

Avni : Hi baby....aap...aap bilkul mat ghabrana haan.... kuch nhi hoga aapko.....
Mamma ne aapko promise kiya tha na....ki....ki vo aapko protect kregi.
Mumma apna promise, zarur pura kregi....
Aap...aap bilkul mat darna...
okay....be...be safe....
be brave...okay.. she said and closed her eyes again while a tear fell from her eyes.

In the meanwhile neil entered with the tray of food in his hands. He sat next to her and said...

Neil : Ye dekho avni.....tumhara favourite food....poha.....or...or ye healthy bhi hai...Dekho maine khud bnaya hai...tumhare liye....i am sure tumhe acha lgega...he said gleaming with a smile while forwarded a spoonfull of poha towards her mouth.

Avni looked at him and she could not believe her eyes that it's him.

For the first time he looked like he was genuinely caring for avni. His face can tell how much he is worried for her.....and for her health.

The expression on his face were real.

But looking at food avni denied..

Avni : Nhi neil....m....mujhe bhuk nhi hai.... she said while looked down trying to hide her emotions.

Neil : Avni....ye...ye poha hai...tum isko khane se kaise mna kr skti ho....Thoda sa khaa lo please.... he insisted although he knows she will not eat.
Therefore he made poha so that atleast she have something instead of having nothing.

he kept on insisting but she was denying...and starts getting irritated.

Avni : nhi neil...please zidd matt kro.... maine kaha na mujhe nhi khanaa.....she said turning her face away...while getting irritated as she dont know why all this is happening with her...

Neil sighed.....

Neil : mere liye na sahi....baby ke liye kha lo... he said bringing her attention towards him

and with that...avni turned her face and looked slowly into his eyes.

neil nodded.....while avni kept on looking at him.

Neil forwarded his hand again and this time she finally ate it....Neil smiled.

He himself fed her with that entire bowl of poha......and she ate it silently....without saying a word.
While she was constantly looking at him without even blinking her eyes.

Neil kept the empty plate aside and brought her medicines. He made her have them and she took it silently. After which she asked him...

Avni : Neil...tum bhi kha lo..

Neil : Main kha lunga avni....but before that we need to talk. he said and settled himself next to her.

As he knows that they have to talk and decide as early as possible.

Avni : Please neil....mujhe uss baare me koi baat nhi krni... she said

Neil : But Avni.....h....hume decide to krna hoga....she didnt let him complete and said loudly...

Avni : Kya decide neil....? Main ....main tumse already keh chuki hu ki main....main abortion nhi krwaungi....baar baar puchne se mera decision change nhi hoga...
she said in a single go...

Neil : Or.....or tumhara kya avni ? Tum janti ho na ki ye pregnancy kitni risky hai tumhare liye... phir bhi tum issi zidd pe adi ho...he said using a little harsh tone this time

Avni (with soft tears in her eyes) : agar ye bachha chla gya....toh main to vese bhi mar jaungi na neil....
Aakhir jeene ke liye bachega kya mere paas....
Toh behtar hai na...ki issi ke saath marr jau main....

Neil : ENOUGH AVNI.... (he stood up in anger and turned away) bohot ho gya tumhara....

Maine socha tha tumhe pyaar se smjhaunga.....but nhi...tumhe pyaar se koi baat samajh kaha aati hai....Kabse keh rha hu...tumhe smjha rha hu....lekin nhi tum sunne ko ready hi nhi ho......
Toh ab bs...ab tum vhi krogi jo main khunga...

he fisted his wrist and said with a heavy heart......
TUMHE YE BACHA ABORT KRNA HI HOGA....( only he knew how his heart broken into pieces while saying this)

Avni looked at him with a disgustedness filled in her eyes...

Avni : Disgusted neil....Tum aisa soch bhi kaise sakte ho....
...OR HOTE KAUN HO TUM YE AKELE DECIDE KRNE WALE....? she said harshly looking at him widening her eyes...

Neil turned around in anger and sat next to her and said holding her shoulders......

Neil : TUMHARA PATI....or iss bache ka hone wala PITA...
(he said and they both looked at each other with widened eyes)

Neil contined...
or vese bhi....tum to khud nhi chahti thi na.....tum...tumne to khud hi kaha tha....
ki tum sure nhi ho iss baby ko lekar...haan.....kaha tha na tumne ?
Toh ab.....ab kyu itna soch rhi ho...bolo......Bolo avni ... he said in a single go, without realising its consequences.

And with that harsh words of Neil....avni's widened eyes narrowed slowly.... Her anger turned into guilt. Her body went numb....

He didnt realised....but his words hit her hard.

She looked here and there and blinked her eyes several times.....before looking into his eyes and said...

Avni (crying) : Y...you are right neil. Ye...ye meri hi galti hai.....meri hi galti hai.....
Sh...shayad....shayd isi galti ki saza de rhe hai bhagwan mujhe......
Yes....y..you are right...meri....meri hi galti hai......m..meri hi galti hai......y..you are rright...

she kept on saying this....and start blaiming herself for all what is happening

Unknowingky those words of neil filled her heart with guilt.

Neil looked at her and realised his mistake.
He should not have said that....

he immediately cupped her face with his both the hands...

Neil : N...nhi avni....Ais...aisa mat socho. M....mere kehne ka vo matlab nhi tha....tumhari koi galti nhi hai.....

no matter how much neil try to fix it now....but the wound has imprinted on avni's mind...which unfortunately he connot revert back now.

Avni removed his hands from her face...

Avni : No neil....tum..tumne sahi kahi. Maine hi galtiya ki hai....h..hmesha galtiya ki....

Tumhare saath bhi to galat kiya tha maine....tumse bhi toh maine ye baat chupayi.....tumhe...tumhe iss bache ke baare me nhi btaya...
Or...or humare rishte ko bhi main nhi sambhal paayi.....Hamesha tumhe galat kaha....
b...but you were right neil....sh...shayad mujhme hi koi kami hai.....m..main hi galat hu...
I deserve this......! She said and started crying, palming her face.

Neil (having tears in his eyes ) : No...no avni. Please dont say such things. I am sorry.... he sat their feeling guilty and looking how she was crying. He felt helpless.

Neil's pov

Ye maine kya kr diya....ek baar phir avni ko rula diya maine.
Hamesha ki tarah aaj bhi.....aaj bhi meri vajah se, avni ki aankho me aansu aaye...

hmesha yahi hota hai.....jaane anjaane main hmesha avni ko hurt krta hu.

Lekin bas.....ab or nhi.
Ab main sab thik kar dunga.
Haan avni....i promise....ab main sab thik kar dunga.

Iss rishte ko...dobara pehle jaisa kar dunga. Tumhari aankho me dobara kabhi aansu nhi ayenge....

Humari khoyi hui khushi....zarur vapis ayegi avni....Main vapis launga vo khushi.....

Or...or iss bache ko bhi....ab main kuch nhi hone dunga.....
main tum dono ko kuch nhi hone dunga avni.....kuch nhi hone dunga !

I promise !

Pov ends.

..........................

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Adiza Diaries
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