It was the day after Halloween, and Carolina was having the worst school day ever. She wasn't speaking to Ginny after the way she told her friends about her secret and her issues just because she "wanted to make them understand" when it was none of their business, and after she snapped at her family the night before like she was above them when she had done much wrong too.

At her locker across from berry tree where "the bro squad" was hanging out, Carolina kept seeing MAN and the boys looking at her like she was something broken and to be observed like she would break down any minute. She could even see Abby and Norah gossiping in whispers, and Brodie and Press making crude or obliviously offensive remarks while thinking they were funny, while Max, Jordan and Hunter kept telling them to back off and shut up. Ginny was ignoring her because she knew that Caro was pissed at her, furious even, and she didn't want to further the fight after the way Ginny had acted to her family the night before, the way she dragged her mother and sister down and snapped at her brother and refused to accept her aunt and cousin.

Annoyed, angry and overwhelmed, Carolina shut her locker and just walked away from their stares and whispers while they sat at their hangout in the hallway. She walked past the red zone where Marcus usually hung out with his friends, and just kept walking because she felt like she couldn't deal with anything.

Marcus watched her go in concern, turning to look at "the bro squad", glaring because he knew they were a huge part of why Carolina was reacting like that, not knowing about Maddie or Caleb yet.

Carolina walked into another hallway, far away from anyone she talked to. She was also overwhelmed about last night, having had to hurt herself to stop the pain inside and take control over it, even before the attempted break in by her newly revealed aunt and cousin, which was more than enough to push someone over an edge.

As all of this swam through her mind, her chest started to feel like it was constricting. She could feel breath start to be harder and harder to take in yet it seemed to rush out all too quickly. Caro tried to focus her breathing before it got out of control.

Students in the hallway were cleaning up Halloween decorations, and some boys were having fun with scaring the others around them.

Carolina closed her eyes to try and tune them out, though the sound of slamming lockers reached her ears as she tried to tune those out too. Everything was building and building.

The blood pounded in her ears. Her heart thudded in her chest. Her hands shook, and her feet tingled. When she opened her eyes, she found that her vision had disfigured, as if she were looking through a fish eye lens. She had to get away. She couldn't stay there any longer, yet she couldn't find the will to move her feet. She clenched her hands into fists and her nails dug into her palms. Breathing was getting harder and harder as seconds ticked away. As if she had just ran a marathon. She had tears burning in her eyes that she was unable to stop, her chest growing tighter as bile rose in her throat. She raised a hand to her throat as she felt like she was being choked, a pins and needles feeling trailing through her arms. The more as the attack went on, Carolina felt detached from the world and herself, experiencing heavy derealization and depersonalization.

People started to take notice and some looked over to Carolina, not knowing what was going on, and looking at her weirdly like they thought it was just a crying fit, and thinking that she would get over it. And thinking that it was weird she was having one in the middle of the school hallway.

Carolina knew that this was a panic attack and anxiety attack at the same time, and she could do nothing to stop it. Not this time. As it got worse and worse, she felt faint, dizzy, and unable to stay steady, she fell to her knees, gasping for breath while clutching her chest, tears falling.

She could hear others telling someone to get help, or others just stopping and staring, but no one got near her due to the fact they could have made it worse, or others simply didn't care. She couldn't make out the words due to hearing her heart beating loudly in her ears, like she could hear it thumping and racing in her chest.

Marcus walked around the corner of the hallway, seeing the crowded students gossiping and staring, walking past them, and was stunned to see Carolina having an attack like that in front of everyone, shocked, but acted quickly, running closer, kneeling next to her. "Carolina. Caro, hey." Carolina couldn't get her breathing under control, crying. Marcus wrapped his arms around her, and Carolina held onto him tightly, burying her head into the crook of his neck to try and hide from the crowd watching. "Everybody back up. Give her some space." They all backed away. Marcus tried to help Carolina up to get her to the nurse's office. "Okay, come on. Come on." 

Carolina continued to hyperventilate. "Oh, God."

Marcus was able to lead them down the hallway past people, toward the nurse's office. When they reached a hallway that was almost empty due to students heading to class, Carolina leaned against the wall, unable to keep going, gasping for breath.

"Try and slow your breathing," Marcus told her. "We're almost there. Come on."

Carolina gasped, shaking her head. "I can't. I can't."

Carolina slid to the floor, gasping.

Marcus knelt in front of her, his hands on her shoulders to try and help her. "Shh, shh. Carolina. Caro, look at me. Shh, look at me. Caro. You can get through this. What do you need?" Carolina shook her head, unable to say the words. "Concentrate on your breathing.  

Carolina grabbed at her head, holding her hair between her fingers. Her gasping became louder and more desperate, bringing her hand to her throat, unable to breathe. She slammed both her hands on the floor, clawing at it with her fingers. "I can't. I c-c-I can't. I can't." 

That was the only thing she could manage to say between her sporadic gasps.

Marcus had Carolina turned her head to him to look at him, very worried and trying very hard, desperate to help, his thumbs resting on her cheeks as he cupped her head. "Carolina? Caro, hey. You're here. You're here with me. Concentrate on your breathing, okay? What you're feeling is scary, but it is not dangerous." He used one arm to hold Carolina steady, using his other hand to take one of her hands, and placed it on his lower chest. "Caro, can you feel that?" He began to breathe in and out, deeply and slowly to try to show her what to do. Carolina continued to gasp but she finally looked up at her palm on Marcus's chest. Marcus nodded reassuringly. "Okay, okay. Close your eyes and match my breathing, okay?" Carolina closed her eyes tightly as her gasps continued. Marcus breathed in and out slowly, and Carolina shakily began to match his breaths, sobbing in between breaths, still gasping, but Marcus began to feel her slowing. "Good job, Caro. You can do this." Carolina's gasping slowly eased, still copying Marcus's breathing. She hid her face with her hands as she was absolutely mortified that that happened, but Marcus held her reassuringly, both closing their eyes, as he rubbed her back to continue to calm her down. "Shh, shh, shh, shh. It's over, Caro." Carolina leaned her head on his shoulder, not knowing what else to do, but was thankful the attack was over, and that he had helped her through it and managed to help her stop it. She was still horrified and upset that that this happened here, in front of so many people, but his presence was enough to help her calm down after the attack was done. Marcus tightened his arms around her, gently rocking them back and forth. "Come on. Let's get you to the nurse's."

Carolina nodded, still getting her breath back, but breathing easier now. Marcus stood, helping Carolina stand with him. Carolina wasn't steady, but Marcus helped her steady. Carolina looked up at him, looking embarrassed and ashamed because of having an attack like that in front of him, and everyone, but was thankful for him helping. Marcus walked with her to the nurse's, and Carolina tried to avoid his gaze, head down.

Once there, the nurse wasn't very nice, but actually pretty rude to Carolina.

Carolina turned to look at Marcus. "Can you stay?"

Marcus was only a little surprised, but understanding given the attack and the rudeness of the nurse, nodding. "Yeah."

Carolina sighed slightly in relief.

✯

When the nurse walked away and gave Carolina some space, Carolina was absolutely mentally and physically tired while sitting in the nurse's office.

Marcus walked over, giving her space, but still a comforting presence. "Is it better now?"

"Barely," Carolina muttered, before raising her voice a little. "I'll be fine. I just... I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" Marcus asked. "You have nothing to apologize for."

"I just..." Carolina trailed off. "I know that with everything, this wasn't really subtle, and... a lot of people saw you help me. Our sisters and their friends could have seen, or Padma, and..."

Marcus shook his head. "Don't worry about that. I don't care who who may or may not have seen. Besides, they know we're friends by now."

Carolina managed a small chuckle, looking at him curiously, licking her lips. "You, um... you seemed to know what you were doing when you helped me." Marcus shrugged, looking down. "How did you know what to say? How did you know what to do?"

Marcus looked up, taking a deep breath through his nose before exhaling through his mouth. "My best friend used to have attacks like that, before..." Carolina nodded in understanding, sympathetically. "I saw his sister and one of his girlfriends help him through through it back then. Quite a few times. Guess I picked up more on what to do from them than I thought."

Carolina nodded, more understanding. "I'm sorry."

Marcus shook his head. "You don't have to be."

They both sat in silence for a moment.

Carolina looked down, fighting back tears. "God, I am so screwed up."

Marcus tilted his head. "Hey. Everybody's screwed up. Even if some more than others. And you're doing pretty damn well considering everything."

Carolina managed a small smile. "Thanks. Not just for that. But for helping me like that."

Marcus nodded, managing a small smile back. "Of course." Carolina sniffled, wiping her eyes. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Carolina opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by a knock on the door.

Ginny walked in. "Hey, Caro. My God. Are you okay? I just heard."

Carolina was still annoyed with Ginny. "Yeah. Like you care."

Marcus awkwardly stood. "I should..."

Marcus pointed to the door.

"Yeah, you should," Ginny told him, not caring. "Our mom is coming to pick us up, so yeah, you should be gone before she gets here."

Carolina glared at Ginny.

Marcus rolled his eyes in annoyance at Ginny, looking at Carolina, still concerned and silently asking if she was okay with being left alone with Ginny after he knew what she did. Carolina nodded. Marcus walked out of the room.

Carolina looked at Ginny in severe annoyance. "You don't have to be a bitch."

"Funny, since that's what I say to you all the time," Ginny replied. "What the hell was he doing here anyway?"

"Oh, Marcus?" Carolina asked. "He's the only one that gave a damn about helping me when I was having a panic and anxiety attack in the middle of the damn hallway, while you were hanging with your friends that you told something that you never had any right in telling them."

Ginny was very frustrated. "I was trying to get them--"

"To understand," Carolina finished. "Yeah, well, they didn't have to understand because it's none of their damn business."

Ginny sighed in frustration, not wanting to talk about this here. "Look, you already slapped me, you got even, let it go."

"A slap was nowhere near even, since you broke my trust telling them that," Carolina replied. "And who knows if it gets out to more people of my secret you chose to tell, and because of the attack out there, which you mostly caused."

Ginny was completely annoyed and frustrated. "We can talk later when you're not pissed, but Mom is coming, so... apparently Austin got in trouble at school too."

"What did Austin do?" Carolina asked.

"I don't know," Ginny told her. "I had to hang up real quick when I heard about your attack and Mom said she would be right here."

Carolina rolled her eyes, looking away.

Georgia walked in, instantly checking on Carolina. "Caro. You okay, buttercup?"

"I'm fine now, Mom," Carolina told her, just not wanting her to worry about her given everything else going on. "Don't worry about me." Georgia gave Carolina a look because she always did that after an attack like that in public to make sure they didn't worry about her. Ginny rolled her eyes at Carolina's predictable behavior. "Gin said that you were coming to get us. Austin got in trouble?"

Georgia sighed heavily, closing her eyes. "Austin... did something pretty serious. Come on. I'll explain on the way."

✯

On the drive over, Georgia had explained that Austin had stabbed his bully Zach, Cynthia's son, in the hand with a pencil since Zach had been taunting him about how Cynthia said Georgia flashed her "tatas" at the mayor and that their whole family was trash.

Outside the elementary school, Carolina was in the passenger seat of the family car, completely ignoring Ginny in the backseat. Georgia led Austin toward the car, getting into the driver's seat while Austin got into the backseat with Ginny.

"Well?" Carolina asked. "How'd it go?"

Georgia sighed. "I'm not gonna lie. It was--"

"You're not gonna lie?" Ginny repeated. "That's weird." Carolina and Georgia both looked back at her in annoyance. "I'd like to hear from Austin. How'd it go?"

"I'm suspended, and I have to go to therapy," Austin told them. "Mom said she was worried."

"Baby, I'm not worried," Georgia told him. "There is nothing wrong with you, and you don't need to go to therapy."

"Austin, I've never even been to therapy no matter how many people told me that I needed to go," Carolina told him. "You're fine. Besides, it sounds like that Zach kid had it coming."

Ginny looked at Carolina incredulously. "I'm sorry. Are you suggesting the nine year old deserved to be stabbed through the hand with a pencil?"

Georgia gave Ginny a look. "I'm sorry, but you've got a lot of opinions today, and I don't remember anyone popping out of your birth canal. Can it."

"He needs to see someone, Mom," Ginny told her. "They both do." Carolina scoffed. "After this morning for both of them? Stabbing and having an attack like that at school in front of everyone? Clearly they're not handling things well with your whole secret family surprise."

Austin crossed his arms. "I like Caleb."

"I didn't tell you about them for good reason," Georgia told them. "Maddie is trouble. You can't trust anything she says."

Ginny laughed sarcastically. "Oh, that's rich. Please, lecture me more about who I can trust. I'm rapt."

"Funny you say that since I can't even trust you anymore," Carolina tola her. "Why the hell do you think that attack happened, huh? It wasn't just because of Maddie and Caleb, and it barely had anything to do with them. You know what I was thinking, what was running through my head the entire time? You betrayed my trust when you told them about the worst night of my life. And you snapped at all of your family and told us that you thought you were above us and that you won't be trash like us, and that we won't stop you from living the life you have as a fake as hell teenage wannabe with your little friends, trying too hard to fit in."

"Oh, you cannot be serious," Ginny told her.

"As serious as a panic and anxiety attack rolled up in one," Carolina answered. "Studies prove that that can hurt worse than a heart attack, by the way."

"You cannot blame me for that--" Ginny started.

"Like hell I can't," Carolina replied. "You say that I can't blame you for that, yet you can blame Mom for absolutely everything?"

Ginny gave Carolina a glare, but had no comeback to that.

"Okay, okay," Georgia interceded.

"I don't wanna go to therapy," Austin told them.

"Don't worry, you're not," Georgia told him. "I'm not paying for some 20-nothing, latte-drinkin', tweed-wearing hypocrite who thinks they have any idea about my life."

"Austin and Caro's lives," Ginny told her. "You mean Austin's life, and Caro's life."

"Seeming to do a whole lot of caring when you barely cared when you came to see me in the nurse's office and called all of us trash last night," Carolina told her.

Ginny sighed in frustration.

Georgia looked between Carolina and Austin. "Listen to me. You're perfect."

"But I heard you," Austin told her. "You said you were worried."

"Nothing I said was true," Georgia told him. "I was try--"

"Lying!" Ginny interceded.

Georgia gave Ginny a look, before looking at Austin. "Protecting you."

Georgia lived in fight or flight. Mostly flight. The kids had lived in 12 different homes because if something went south, their mother didn't let the dust settle. 

Georgia would say, "Never look backwards, only forwards. What's done is done. It don't do any good digging through mud. All you get is dirty. Best wash yourself clean and move on."

But what happens when your fight or flight response was triggered, and all it did was keep you in place and make you fall apart? The part of the fight or flight response that not as many people knew about, was that freeze was also apart of it, which was why people had panic and anxiety attacks, and why some people froze in the most dangerous situations instead of fighting or taking off.

Carolina knew that attacks of anxiety and panic were triggered by flight, fight or freeze responses. All she could wish for was not to be broken down by the need to fight or take flight, because she never wanted to freeze like that ever again.