May was coming to an end and summer was just beginning. Dad had told me that spring was the season of rebirth and new beginnings. Trees that had been bare and naked in the freezing cold would begin to blossom, and animals would come out of their hibernation. Every source of life seemed to start over at that time of year.

But summer, Dad said, was the time where those budding new beginnings would come alive. Summer was the chance to live out to the fullest, and embrace both the beauty and the challenges that nature brought your way. And so I expected pretty cool things to come from it.

***********************

I had the worst stomach ache.

I wasn't sure what it was, but it started the moment I woke up that day. I decided not to mention it to anyone, as it might make them worried. I hoped it would get better during the day.

School wasn't much better. I felt a heavy weight on my legs that I couldn't explain. Aki noticed immediately, and urged me to go back home.

"I'll be fine," I assured him. I knew Susanne would take care of me, but I also knew she was working today. Besides, I had some painkillers, so whatever this pain was was bound to go soon.

It was pretty hard to concentrate in any of the classes too. It stayed all the way through till break time, and as soon as Aki saw my expression when I got to the playground, he grabbed my arm, and tugged me back inside towards the nurse's office.

"I have medicine. Susanne gave it to me". I told him. He stopped walking and turned to me with an annoyed expression on his face, before pulling out his phone and texting me a message. I sighed and looked at my phone too.

AKI: Why don't you want to get help? It's so much easier

A strange sensation of anger began to stir up inside me, and I narrowed my eyes at him. "You're being kind of hypocritical, Aki," I pointed out, "You've been bullied for so long, but it's not like you'll ever do anything about it".

He looked confused for a moment, creasing his eyebrows, and then continued to type.

AKI: That has nothing to do with this

"Yes, it does. You can't tell someone else to go for help when you keep such a big thing a secret from your own father. I still don't get why you don't tell someone. If you don't like it, why not put it to an end? At least..." I clenched my fists, "At least you actually have people to go to..."

I shut my eyes as I remembered how I had to stay locked up in Uncle's house, forbidden from having any communication with anybody. Aki had people around. Why didn't he take advantage of that?

AKI: It's not as simple as that. U wont understand

"That's what you're saying after we've become close friends? It's almost like...you're making excuses for them. You have all you need to stop them, but you're choosing not to. I don't understand why..."

Aki shoved his phone back into his pocket, and gave me a hard look. He pointed again at the door of the nurse's office before walking away from me. I watched him leave, the anger now cooling down. I wanted to shout out to him not to go, but the words got stuck in my throat. What was going on with me? The last time I felt this angry was when Katie pushed me to the edge. But...Aki didn't do anything wrong.

I sighed. Maybe I'd apologise to him at lunch. What was wrong with me today?

*************************

I stayed in the nurse's office for the next two periods, and the pain finally began to calm down. By lunch time, I finally decided to get up. I made my way through the school hallway towards the girls' bathroom only to spot Aki outside his locker talking to Amber. I froze. What was he doing with her? Amber couldn't stand him.

"...I'd really appreciate it if you could help with my birthday banner. You're one of the best artists in our year". I heard Amber saying to him as I got closer. Aki gave me a swift glance before turning back to her. I was immediately hurt by this gesture. But then again, I probably deserved it. I sighed before walking into the bathroom.

"Oh hey, Jem. I was just talking to Aki". I heard Amber's voice behind me, as she followed me into the bathroom. I mentally groaned. Since when did she call me "Jem" anyway?

"Good for you". I mumbled.

"He's actually kinda cute up close, y'know, even though he's a bit scrawny. I'm inviting him to my party". Amber stood in front of the bathroom mirror, and began to fix her hair. Why was she still talking? And why suddenly invite someone she didn't like to her party? I walked into one of the stalls.

"I think he's a talented artist, so he's gonna help design my bann..."

Suddenly, I screamed, before flinging the stall door open. Amber whipped her head around to look at me.

"H...help". I stammered.

"What is it"?

"I-I'm bleeding. I don't know why...I..."

Amber furrowed her eyebrows before scanning me. "What? Are you on your period or-"

"CALL A NURSE YOU HAVE TO HELP ME". I clutched my stomach, on the verge of tears. What was going on? Why was I internally bleeding?

Amber immediately rushed out of the bathroom, and I stumbled to the entrance to find Aki standing there. His eyes widened when he saw my position.

"I'm bleeding...I don't know what to do...I think I'm gonna die". My words were rushed, and Aki crouched down and placed his hands on my shoulders, frantically searching me for any signs of blood.

"IT'S INTERNALLY". I explained, causing his face to go white.

Just then, Amber came running toward me with the school nurse who I'd just left, followed by a few other girls. "I think she's on her period but she doesn't know". Amber said to her.

"Stand back, Aki, let me deal with this". The nurse said hurriedly, and Aki shook his head, still looking horrified. He held onto me, but the nurse gently pulled him off. "Amber, go take him out ot the playground".

"What's happening to me"? I felt the tears streaming down my face.

"Jemimah, I'm going to need you to stand up, okay"? The nurse said gently. "Nothing's wrong with you, I promise".

"I'm bleeding. How can there not be anything wrong with me"? I sobbed. "Can you call my Dad? Do I need to go to hospital"?

At this point, a few of the people in the corridor were looking at me, and the nurse strictly told them to get on with their lives. What the heck was happening?

*****************************

I stared up at the ceiling of my bedroom.

A period. A freaking period. I couldn't believe I didn't know about it. Something so basic.

I rolled onto my side. But then again, how could I have ever known about it? Auntie died before I was old enough to need to know about it. Then I spent the rest of my time with a man who didn't care about me.

The nurse had explained everything to me. Later, she thought it best that I went home, and I agreed. It was Susanne who picked me up. I decided to go straight to bed, and I didn't want to talk to anyone. I felt humiliated.

That was yesterday. I was in bed again today, not only feeling miserable in my state but also incredibly drowsy, which didn't help my mood. So I decided to browse through social media and look for things to take my mind off of reality, and that had basically been my whole day.

In the midst of my self pitying, I heard a knock on the door. "Come in," I mentally cringed at my croak. But then my mood seemed to lighten the moment I saw that cheeky looking chubby grin of Beatrice as she entered my room.

"Jemmy!" She squealed in delight. "You're AWAKE. I was worried I might be waking you up". She came over and sat on the side of my bed, and placed a pink flask on my bedside table. "I brought you some hot chocolate. Susanne said it's your comfort".

I sat up, and gave her a quick hug. "Hey, Beatrice. Thanks for coming over". She patted my back, and then let go of me, her cheery smile turning into a sympathetic look.

"I was worried SICK about you, Jemmy. Aki told me what happened. Are the cramps gone now"?

"Yeah, they are, I just feel a bit drowsy at the moment". I replied, pushing a mess of tangled curls from my face. God only knows what hell I'd have to go through to get that sorted before I went back to school. "I'm also in a comfortable pit of depression that I don't plan on coming out of anytime soon".

Beatrice placed her hand on my shoulder. "Life is a whole whirlwind of depression, my girl. There comes a point where only food and the internet can get you through things," She gestured at my phone which had been opened to YouTube, "You seem to be at that point, right now".

"Don't call me out like that," I chuckled, leaning against my pillow, "How's Aki doing"? I asked hesitantly.

"He was pretty shaken up, to be honest. He said he thought you were dying, so he was in an absolute mess".

"Did you explain it to him"?

"I just told him it was a little something we girls go through every month after a certain age, and it's completely normal. He didn't believe me, so he searched it up himself, even though I told him not to and OH MY GOD YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE LOOK ON HIS FACE". Beatrice giggled hysterically. "He couldn't even read the first sentence of the definition. At least that showed him".

I chuckled, imagining how red he must have been. "Even I was cringing throughout the whole conversation with the school nurse. It was extremely, uh...eye opening".

"It kinda depends on how you're told about it...but it can be a weird thing to talk about when the girl has no idea of what it is. I'm sorry you weren't told before..." She gave me another look, and I already knew what she was thinking. How could my Mum not have told me about this by now?

She still didn't know. I hadn't told her or Aki anything about my life yet. And then I wanted them to tell me about theirs. I sighed at the hypocrisy. I really needed to fix myself up.

"There are some things...that I should probably tell you and Aki about at some point". I said quietly, to Beatrice.

Her eyes softened. "I think there are things we should all tell each other. To make the Christmas Squad work...we need trust". She leaned back in the desk chair she was sitting in. "Think you should start by making things up with Aki"?

My head shot up to look at her. "He told you about that"?

"Yeah, he texted me at lunch break, really angry at everything. Obviously, that was before everything happened. I think you kinda hit a sensitive spot for him...but I know you didn't mean it".

"Of course I didn't...I feel so bad about it now..." I buried my hands into my mess of hair. "I'm a horrible person...I should've known better".

Beatrice grabbed my hand from the side of the bed. "Don't you dare say that, Jemmy". She instructed, sternly. "Look at what you have done for Aki. Look at what you have done for me. You've made my days way better than they used to be. It sucks to be alone. Besides, you're sweet and adorable and have a cool accent, and you bake the best cakes ever. I doubt Aki will blame you for anything now. You shouldn't blame yourself either, because you know the state you were in at the time".

I smiled at her. "You're right...you know, you give the best pep talks. I'm actually starting to feel better".

"I just have that effect on people". Beatrice flipped her hair over her shoulder, and then got up and stretched. "Well, I do wish I could stay longer, but I actually have guitar lessons today, and I'm ten minutes late".

"Seriously? You don't seem that concerned about it".

"That's because I'm not. My teacher's twenty minutes late all the time, so I have a pretty good excuse. Besides, I had more important things to do". She winked.

"Bee, you didn't have to spend time here if..."

"Shut up, and don't tell me my best friend isn't more important than a lazy teacher," She held up a daring finger at me, "Make sure you let me know what happens with Aki, then we can all meet after school and talk about things. I think we need a meeting schedule for the Squad, too". She leaned over and gave me a quick hug, before picking up her guitar and swinging it over her shoulder. "Well, adios. Mejorate pronto. Remember that as get well soon in Spanish". She saluted me and grinned again, before leaving the room.

"Some days you just need a mug of hot chocolate and a hug from your best friend".