DISCLAIMER: The following chapters contain quite deep and triggering themes, so please be aware if you're a sensitive viewer

Beatrice POV

If there was one thing you could remove from your life, what would it be?

Do you have regrets? Things you hate? Someone who you were better off without? I did. You'll find out later though.

This is my story. I'm Beatrice Mariana Garcia, a fifteen year old secondary school student, and a kid who used to believe that she was capable of being a star one day.

Of course, I never really believed that. Those things only happen to other people. People who are meant to have a chance in this world. That's not everyone. And it definitely wasn't me.

To become a star, someone who others look up to...you have to actually be liked by people. But me? I was hated. I was despised. I was "that girl" in the corner of the classroom who nobody spoke to because she was...well, a little off and a bit weird.

And at my school, that's the girl I'd always been.

It started off that I was just ignored...that was because I was this little ugly fat kid in kindergarten. The one with wild, messy hair, and an obnoxious personality. And yeah, all that mattered in my life was food. I never had any female friends at school.

I remember going home to my Mum and crying about not having friends. "Don't worry, Bea," She used to tell me, "You'll make friends eventually".

Those words never helped me. They weren't even comforting after the third time. I wished my parents could do something more about it. But even if they did make more of an effort to help me at school, it probably wouldn't make much difference. When kids make up their mind at a young age that they don't like someone, there's not much chance of changing that fact. Especially if everyone else is doing it.

One time, in year 2, I decided it was about time to come out of my shell. It would be nice to make some friends. On the last day before summer holidays, there was a party for our class. Everyone bought snacks and treats for each other, and people got their faces painted and everything. Back then, I used to just sit by the snack table and listen to music on my tablet.

Music. That was the key to my own world. No matter what was going on around me, no matter what was not going on around me, music was a place I could escape to. But that day, I decided to switch off and go and sit with the girls who were waiting to get their faces painted.

"I'm gonna do a butterfly," One of the girls was saying to her friend.

"I love butterflies," I said to her, and they both turned and looked at me in shock, "I'll do a butterfly too".

The girl scrunched up her nose and turned around again, "Actually, I'll do a kitty".

I tapped her on her shoulder, "We can do butterflies together!" I smiled. Suddenly, she shrieked, and leapt up from her plastic chair.

"EWW fattie just TOUCHED me!" She yelled, and the other girls around her stood up and backed away from me.

"Haha, now you guys have GERMS," The boys behind us started shouting at them, "You've got germs, you've got cooties!"They sang.

The girl began to cry, as if the teasing was directed at her. "You're so mean!" She said, running off, leaving me to stand there in shock.

"Why did you have to touch her"? One of her friends glared at me, "Nobody likes you. Now look at what you did!"She ran after the other girl, and a few others followed.

I didn't cry right there and then. Instead, I left the classroom and stayed in the girl's bathroom. And I cried alone. Mami didn't care. Papi didn't have time to care. So I never told them what happened.

I hated looking at myself in the mirror. When I did, I remembered the look of disgust on other kid's faces. I hated it. I remember imagining myself as a Disney princess, beautiful and living an amazing life with the man of my dreams. Someone who thought I was worth a chance.

After that incident, my confidence was broken. And I went back to the quiet, invisible girl I had been before. Only now, I was the "Cooties" girl.

I tried to stay away from people the following year. And it wasn't so hard. The music room was my safe haven, and I went there during break time to play the piano.

That was, until Nico, Mateo and Samuel started school. And not long after that, Luis started as well. The embarrassment of bullying was something I had learnt to live with. But now I had people I needed to protect.

My brothers became a subject of bullying as well. To be honest, I never knew how or why they were bullied. Luis was fairly smaller than the rest of the kids his age, but Mateo, Nico and Samuel had no traits out of the blue that would cause them to be bullied. It was awful.

And so the day I saw Luis getting beaten up by seniors outside the boys' bathroom, I didn't even hesitate. I'd never done anything particularly violent until that day. It was like some other kind of person had possessed me, and caused me to do something I'd never usually do.

I punched one of them in the face. And when he was down on the ground I continued to pound his face violently, blinded with rage as he had bruised my little brother. I didn't stop until two teachers pulled me off, and carried me back to the headmaster's office. I was interrogated and punished for doing what I did.

Apparently, I'd broken the kid's nose, and caused a swollen eye. My teachers told me off severely, and I was suspended from the school for two days, my parents having to pay for the boy's hospital fee. Of course, he got into a little bit of trouble too for beating up my brother, but he was not severely told off by anyone.

I remember the anger that was bubbling up inside me, as the headmaster and my parents scolded me. All this time, I had been the subject of bullying at school, and not one of them had lifted a finger to help me. Now all of a sudden, here they were, ganging up on me and now I was the bad one? So this is how far it needed to go before people actually paid attention to me?

And from there...I changed. I no longer cared what people thought about me. I beat up who I wanted. I said what I wanted. And if it made my parents look bad, so be it. I became the rebel of my school. And people were too afraid to approach me. That didn't stop the bullying, though. I was still a loner. I'd had a few friends throughout that time, but none worth remembering now.

They all left because they didn't want to be bullied too.

Things got worse by the time I'd reached year 8. Girls started forming groups with each other instead of pairs, and there were always talks of sleepovers and weekends at the mall.

And there I was still sitting with my three brothers at lunch, discussing Disney and Marvel, seeing as we didn't have anything interesting happening with reality. That was back before Santi and Al came to England, so it was just the five of us. It wasn't an easy responsibility to take care of the boys by myself during school hours. But I thought I was doing a pretty good job, until the day my brothers told me to stop.

"You're too overprotective sometimes, Bea," Mateo pointed out one day at lunch, "It can be overwhelming, you know".

"That's what a big sister's supposed to do," I replied, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, but sometimes we can manage things ourselves," Nico added. I looked at the two of them.

"Are you embarrassed by me or something"?

"NO, of course not! We just don't think you need to be watching us like a hawk everyday". Samuel had joined in now. I frowned, before looking at Luis, who was avoiding eye contact with everyone.

"Luis? Is that what you think too"?

"I'm fine with anything as long as you guys don't argue about it," he said quietly.

"You're the youngest, you get everything done for you anyway," Mateo said to him, and Luis gave him an annoyed look.

"You make it sound like I'm spoilt".

"Because you are. You're still a baby".

"I'm NOT a baby".

"Shut up, you guys," I sighed. "Listen. I know what it's like to feel unprotected. I don't want you guys going through the same thing. You don't know what it's like and it'll stay that way. Now don't say anything like that again". The boys all looked annoyed by this, but said nothing about it.

This was the problem. I've always been so narrow minded.

"Do you ever just cry because you are...you"?