I hadn't seen Jesse since Christmas Eve, and so I was excited when I saw him walking up the path and towards the foot of the snowy mountain where I stood with Akito and Beatrice.

"Oh wow, is that him?" Beatrice nudged me teasingly, causing me to roll my eyes. "He's quite the catch, Jemmy."

"He looks average."Aki commented, and Beatrice rolled her eyes.

"Don't you ever know how to get into romantic mode?" She asked. "Can't you just take a moment to appreciate how beautiful he is?"

"No."

"You know what, now that I think about it," Beatrice folded her arms, and gave Aki a strange look, "You've never once fallen for me or Jemmy, even though you've known us for ages."

"And so what are you suggesting?"

"That you either don't have a heart or you're gay."

"First of all, I'm not gay. Secondly, you haven't fallen for me or Jemimah either, so what does that make you?"

Beatrice stiffened at that, and opened her mouth for another retort, but I stopped her."Guys!" I silenced them, as Jesse finally got to us. "Can you finish that later?"

"Heyo." Jesse waved, shyly, with a small smile.

"Heyy." I said quietly, as Beatrice started chattering in reply, and Aki gave him a head nod in greeting.

"This is gonna be so much fun, oh my God! I've never been sledging before! And it's so high up, it's gonna be pretty cool."

"As long as you're not easily intimidated,"Aki said, giving Jesse a pointed look, "Hey, where's Alana?"

"Oh, she had plans with her friends today, so uh...she couldn't come." Jesse replied, not looking at him. I glanced between the two of them. Did something happen?

We started up the mountain, our boots trudging through the thick snow, leaving a trail of deep, indented footprints behind us.

Beatrice glanced at me, and pulled Aki with her further ahead of me and Jesse. I rolled my eyes, knowing exactly what she was trying to do. I wished she didn't put me on the spot like that-she knew I was trash at starting conversations..

"Thanks for coming along, Jesse." I said to him, quietly.

"Thanks for inviting me. I wouldn't mind having some fun before I go back next week." Right. He's going back.

"We should keep in touch," he continued, causing me to look up at him, "I've met some cool people since I've been back."

I smiled at him. "I think you're cool, too. It's a shame you had to go so soon." I held my breath. I felt myself tense up. I needed to get a grip. This didn't need to be awkward.

"Yeah, it's never fun leaving," Jesse looked up towards the top of the mountain, "But I'll be back around the summer."

I wasn't sure how to reply, and so we just walked for a while in silence. Then something occurred to me. "Hey, Jesse...Can I ask you something?"

"Yup."

"Why is it you want to go back to Ghana? What draws you to it?"

He glanced at me, nervously, "Is it okay to talk about it? I definitely wound you up last time..."

"It's alright. I was having a bad day," I lied. Honestly, I was trying to figure out myself how I came to reject it so much nowadays, "But I wanna talk about it now. If that's alright with you..."

"Yeah, of course! I love talking about that kind of thing," Jesse's face lit up, "There's loads of things that draw me towards Ghana. I mean, besides it being my home country. For starters, I wanna help the people there."

"How do you mean?" I asked him, cocking my head sideways.

"I know that there's a lot of corruption and poverty there...and in Africa in general. My Mum says I should be a lawyer or even a pastor or something...but my passion is actually writing."

"Writing?" I echoed.

He nodded and laughed. "I know. How's writing gonna help solve poverty, huh? That's what my Mum always asks me. But my point of view is that people need inspiration to change. Stories help people to connect and communicate, and I want to write about things that can motivate others...stories targeted to people who don't know what to do with their lives," he let out a shaky laugh, "I know how far-fetched it sounds, saying it out loud. But there's loads of black writers out there who have made me feel like that, so I want to do that for others."

"That's pretty cool," I said in wonder, "I don't think it's far-fetched. Not all of us have such big dreams and an actual picture of themselves in the future. You seem pretty set and ready." The corners of Jesse's lips curled upwards at my words, and he glanced away somewhat shyly. The brightness of his eyes every time he smiled was captivating, and I found myself longing to see it more.

I wanted to hear him talk again. "So you're studying English in college, or?"

"Yeah. I'm doing it alongside law and religious history. Subjects recommended by my Mum, of course."

"Woah, those are big subjects," My eyebrows shot up, "Are they fun?"

Jesse snickered. "Fun's a strange word to use. They're...interesting. But enough about me. Let's talk about you, now."

"No! I like talking about you..." Felt myself reddening at my sudden outburst. Jesse blinked, obviously taken aback, and I recoiled, looking down at the ground. "I mean...obviously I don't mean it in a weird way."

Then, just as I thought things couldn't possibly get more embarrassing, my boot slipped suddenly on the slippery hill, and I let out a yelp, almost skidding down the mountain. Jesse grabbed both my hands, and hauled me up and towards him, pulling me straight towards his torso. Beatrice and Aki came rushing over, as my breathing became heavy.

"Jemimah. Are you okay?" Aki asked urgently. I nodded, sucking in a breath, as my head being against Jesse's torso could hear his heartbeat quickening alongside mine, thumping loud enough for me to hear through his thick jacket.

He let go of me quickly. "Careful. Good luck I caught you on time."

"Thank you." I breathed, unable to look up at his face. Beatrice's eyes were wide as they darted from me to Jesse, and I chose to ignore her teasing stares as we continued trudging upwards. I placed my hand against my chest. Perhaps it was beating so fast because of the fall just now. After all, I did love my life. Luckily, the awkwardness didn't have to continue much longer because by then, we had reached the top of the mountain, and caught up with the others.

Beatrice was panting heavily, resting her hands on her knees, as Aki rubbed her back. I sighed. "She okay?"

"Just...out...of...breath...."Beatrice breathed, "That's one steep mountain, despite it supposedly being small..."

"Should we just sit for a bit so she can rest?" Jesse asked, concerned.

"No it's fine," Beatrice held up a gloved hand, "I'm good."

The snow was thicker at the top of the mountain, and was littered with deep boot prints from all the other people who'd come for the activity. Up ahead of us, a wooden cabin stood blanketed in white, and people were queuing up for sledges.

"I'm getting excited for this," Beatrice said, enthusiastically, tugging on Aki's sleeve.

"Yup. I've come here with Kenichi a few times. It's pretty cool," Aki turned to me and gave me a look that I couldn't read.

"Is everything okay?" I asked him, my eyebrows furrowing.

"Yeah. Everything's fine." He replied, and I nodded slowly. When he turned away I turned back to Jesse. I didn't want my own clumsiness to stop our conversation.

"Frankly, there's not much about me to talk about," Jesse said to me, quietly, "I'd love to get to know about you, though, Jemimah. I know I can rant sometimes."

"You're not ranting," I insisted, "But...I guess I can tell you a bit about me. Though there's not much to know about my life, either."

"I doubt that. Tell me, what do you think of Ghana?"

"What?"

"I mean...I want to help the people there, but I can't really speak about the country from my personal view as I've never been there. So what about you? You know what it's like there, so how do you feel about it?"

I remained quiet, feeling my body tense up slightly. Up until recently, I'd felt resentful towards Ghana-it was only since Jesse and Alana spoke about it, that I felt the need to connect with it again.

"I still see myself as a beginner when it comes to learning about my country," I responded, "I stayed there, but was never emotionally connected to that place. I hope that one day I can go back and see Ghana through a different perspective, so I can actually know what it's like there."

Jesse cocked his head sideways. "I'm sorry...I don't follow."

I shook my head. "It's hard to explain. But I want to learn about it just as much as you do. Maybe we can find out about it together."

"Yeah! That's a good idea," Jesse's eyes seemed to sparkle at my suggestion, not seeming the least bit concerned that someone who'd lived in Ghana knew so little about it. Or maybe he did...but he chose not to ask.

"We got the sledges," Aki dragged two full sized wooden sledges by a rope out of the cabin towards us. "Two per sledge."

"Me and Aki will share," Beatrice said, giving me a wink. We followed Aki to the edge of the mountain. He threw us all a pair of goggles before sitting at the front seat of one of the sledges, and Beatrice jumped into the back, and looked at me. "Aren't you going to sit in your's, Jemmy?" She asked.

I looked over at Jesse who was getting on, grabbing onto the bar at the front. I sat down behind him, holding onto the bars on the side. We all looked down at the bottom of the mountain, which seemed steeper and pretty far down. I gulped. "If it makes you feel better, I'm scared too." Jesse said to me, cautiously. "But I'm sure it'll be fine, as long as we don't die."

"Well...it is quite a long way to the bottom," I squeaked.

"We'll go together at the count of three. Hold on tight okay..."

"I-I don't know about this, Aki," Beatrice said nervously, "It looks so far down."

Aki sighed. "If you really don't want to do it then..."

He broke off when Beatrice wrapped her arms around his waist. "It's fine...It's not like before. I want to do this. It's for fun...I'll try..." Aki looked down at her.

"Beatrice..."

She shook her head. "It's fine! Don't worry..." She glanced at me, "You're scared too, aren't you Jemmy?" She was trying to urge me to make a move. I heard Jesse's soft, nervous laugh.

"You don't have to hold onto me, if you don't want to," He pointed out, "I just recommend that you hold onto something."

Beatrice widened her eyes at me, demandingly, and I quickly wrapped my arms around Jesse's torso, his thick coat feeling warm against me. "Um, okay Aki. Ready when you are." Jesse called, as Aki gave us both a hard stare before looking ahead.

"Okay, on my count. One...two..." Out of nervousness, I found myself clutching Jesse tighter, and burying my head in his back.

"Three!"

The boys kickstarted the sledges and we sped down the mountain.

The wind swept my large, mocha coloured box braids backwards, making them flare out behind me. The surroundings became a blur of white and grey, and they sped past faster and faster, making me squeal, and tighten my grip around Jesse. I felt dizzy. I was gonna faint...

"Woohooo!" I heard Jesse yell out. I felt one of his gloved hands on mine. "Jemimah. It's okay!"

"What?" I asked, looking up at him through my goggles.

"This is so freaking cool!" He yelled out, laughing. I felt myself chuckling, despite the fact that I was still dizzy, as the snow around us flew up as the sledge drove through it. I heard an excited cheer as another sledge sped past us. Beatrice and Aki. I loosened my grip around Jesse, feeling the tension in my body begin to leave, as everyone yelled screams of enthusiasm.

"Feel it now?" Jesse called to me.

The wind brushing through my hair, and the comfort of Jesse's hand on mine felt calming, and I threw my head back and laughed with everyone else.

I felt myself running free, letting everything go with the wooden vehicle that continued to skid down the mountain, as the tiny droplets of snow began to fall. I felt a smile play on my lips.

****************************

"Was that the best thing ever, or was that the best thing EVER!" Beatrice screamed, after we'd returned the sledges after two more rounds of speeding downhill.

"It was LIT!" Jesse yelled back, making Beatrice squeal even louder.

"We have to do that again!"

"We should do it every day."

"Tell me about it!"

I laughed, at their enthusiasm, as we made our way down the stony steps that led to the bottom of the mountain from the cabin. "They kind of have the same energy," I said to Aki.

"I told you it was going to be fun." Aki grinned.

"Thanks for taking us, Kiki," I elbowed him teasingly. Aki snorted, and then patted my head. I was glad to see that he was loosening up a bit now.

***********************************

We went to McDonald's after that, and spent the afternoon there. Jesse told us more about what college life was like, and how living in boarding school was in general. He recommended colleges for us in London, and I made sure to mentally note them, specifically his one.

Jesse had so many inspiring stories to tell us; how he entered cultural contests where he did a project about Ghana, how he finds inspiration for his own stories from black authors, and how he became the leader of the literature club in his year. I found everything he said so intriguing, and just wanted him to talk on and on, and I wouldn't get bored. A few times, I realised I got distracted whenever he gave that award winning grin when he told a joke. There was something about him that was just so...bright.

My heart felt like it had dropped to my stomach when we had to part ways outside of Aki's house. The sun was setting now, glimmering against the melting snow, as it painted the sky with a vibrant mix of red, pink and orange.

"Thanks, you guys. I really enjoyed hanging out with you today." Jesse said to us.

"We should do it again some time," I said quickly, and Beatrice gave me a surprised and impressed look, "You're really cool."

Jesse looked away, and I noticed he was getting flustered. "So are you, Jemimah..."He seemed to catch himself, "And all of you, actually. You're all a cool group."

"When are you leaving for college?" Beatrice asked.

"Next weekend, I believe. But I still have some time here. I'll be back around the summer, probably just after you guys finish examinations."

That was so far away. "Can we hang out again before next weekend?"

Jesse didn't answer for a moment. "I'll actually have a lot of different things to sort out, including my last few days at work...you probably won't be able to catch me free for some time, but I'll see what I can do."

"So...this is goodbye for now?"

"For now. And don't forget our little project, Jemimah. I'll be looking forward to working on it with you."

I smiled at this, and then nodded. For some reason, the fact that he wanted to spend more time with me gave me a fluttering feeling inside."Okay, then."

Jesse checked his watch again. "I have to go now. I have all of your numbers, so we'll keep in touch." He saluted Aki, before high fiving Beatrice.

"We need to hear more stories from you." Beatrice said to him with a grin.

"I'll be full of them. Trust me," He winked at her, before turning to me, "See you later Jemimah," he said with a shy smile.

"Yeah....see you later." I replied, sheepishly.

"Oops!" Beatrice shoved me towards Jesse, making me crash into him.

"B-Beatrice!" I stammered, and took a few startled steps back from the tall boy who was now rather startled. "I'm sorry! Beatrice is just..."I felt butterflies fluttering around in my stomach.

"It's fine," Jesse's laugh came out shakily, and he seemed to stiffen slightly, his shoulders tensing. He waved a hand in dismissal. "See you around, Jem." Before I could embarrass myself more, I took a few steps behind Beatrice, and watched in silence as he turned, hands deep in his pockets, and walked down the street.

"Why are you trying to embarrass me?" I shot Beatrice a glare, and she gave me a teasing grin. "He looked so uncomfortable just now. Have you no boundaries?"

"First of all, no I don't have boundaries. Secondly, come on, we needed some sort of tension before he left. You should be thanking me right now," Beatrice replied, matter of factly. "And did you notice how he just seemed so shy and timid before? And then when he started talking to you more, he was just soo chill! Hey, are you even listening to me?"

Butterflies were still fluttering in my stomach from the close contact I'd had with Jesse, and the image of his innocent smile seemed to stain my mind without my permission. I bit the inside of my lip, as I thought about it, and then turned to my best friends, who were both giving me strange looks.

"Are you alright?" Aki asked me.

"You guys..." I started, "I think...I like Jesse."

That was the first time in my life that I'd ever really wanted to take a crush seriously. There were a few people who I'd liked before at school, but it's one of those situations where they just didn't know I existed. But this time it was different-I'd actually become friends with Jesse. And pretty good friends, at that. It was almost like a fantasy. And I wanted more of it.

"That someone that makes the butterflies flutter, the unintentional smiles appear, and the confusing emotions run wild. We will all have that someone eventually."