"How are you feeling?"

  "I feel like I just want to go home now,"

   Karina hummed and tool a bit of her ice cream, "Just two more events then we will be home for Christmas," she said.

  Felix nodded.

    "How are things with Hyunjin?"

   "Things with Hyunjin... he's not talking to me right now," Felix said.

  "Why not?"

   "We got into an argument about that stalker thing. He thinks I should go to the police and take legal action and I don't want to give it attention,"

    "Mm, I've always let you make decisions by yourself, but I'd prefer that you listen to Hyunjin with this one," Karina said.

   Felix shook his head, "I give attention it'll just get worse. Right now, it is just weird letters and messages,"

   "This is a lose-lose situation. You don't react it can get worse, you do react, it can get worse,"

     The younger sighed, "Look, if it gets worse without reacting, I'll talk to Hyunjin and we'll go report it; if it doesn't, let's just leave it alone,"

    "If you say so,"

   -

   "Why can't he just listen? Just stop being stubborn for one minute,"

  "Hyun, he's Felix, he's been stubborn his whole life," Minho said.

   "I know, but this one thing I wish he would listen to me about," Hyunjin said.

   Minho sighed, "Yeah, I talked to him about it too, he's not listening to me about either,"

    "Guys, just give him time, knowing Felix he'll probably do something if it gets worse when he doesn't react," Jisung said.

    "So, how is being is Seoul so far?" Minho asked.

    "I haven't been here since I was seven, so it is just whatever. We are going to visit my grandmother tomorrow, she still wants to meets Felix, so I am going to try and see if he'll come with Vi and I,"

  "Your grandmother wants to meet him?" Minho asked.

  "She wanted to meet him five years ago but we broke up and she moved back here," Hyunjin said.

   "How is Viola doing?" Jisung questioned.

   Hyunjin hummed, "Something going on with her but she won't talk to me about it. She's talking to Felix, but she doesn't want Felix saying anything to me, I'm fine with it, because if anything was seriously wrong Felix would tell me. I'm sure it is mostly about Julianna,"

   "She might also be having some problems adjusting to Felix being back in her life like this. That year Jisung and I split up was an adjustment for Minjun and Jiyeon, on top of that we didn't know about Yumi yet, then it was a whole other adjustment when we got back together," Minho said.

   Hyunjin put the phone on speaker and sat down in one of the folding chairs, "Felix and I aren't together though,"

   "Yeah, but is still an adjustment for her. It was five years of no contact, now there is,"

   The brunet sighed, "Ah, I just wish this was a little easier,"

    "Did you tell him how you feel?" Minho asked.

   "Yeah, a week ago or so,"

    "Hold on,"

    Hyunjin could hear Minho picking up Yumi, and Yumi babbling.

   "What did he say when you told him?" Minho aksed.

  "He said he isn't ready for a commitment and I understand completely,"

    "But?"

   "But, it is an overwhelming feeling, being in love with him... it is like... I don't even know," Hyunjin said with a sigh.

  Minho chuckled, "Wow, I never thought I'd see the day, Hyunjin Hwang the great literature student became speechless,"

   Hyunjin laughed softly, "The effect your dear brother has on me,"

   "Yumi, baby, don't pull on that," Minho said.

   Hyunjin pursed his lips, "Min,"

  "Hm, yeah?"

   "How long... how long did you know about the miscarriage and about all of it?" He questioned.

   "Two weeks after the fact. Yunjin, Chaewon, Declan, and Karina all knew before me. He made me swear to just keep it between Sung and I," Minho told him.

   Hyunjin took a deep breath, tears falling on to his cheeks, "Before it all happened, we went to my family's beach house in Cape May. I was thinking about proposing, because he had seen these rings that he really liked.

   I bought them, but I didn't propose. We made promises to each other. I promised him that even in his darkest of hours I would be there for him." He took a breath and wiped his tears.

    "Then I broke the promise when that time came around, because I had jumped to the worse possible conclusions, about what he was feeling and about the babies,"

     "Hyunjin, we make mistakes sometimes, it is part of human nature, but we learn and grow from our mistakes," Minho said.

   "I know, but my mistake cost me one of the most important things in my life," Hyunjin murmured.

    "Hyunjin, you learned from it though. Hell, you learned for your first relationship with him, you actually told him you love him with out denying it five hundred times,"

   Hyunjin laughed softly and sniffled.

   "Don't knock yourself down so much. Felix may not say it now, but he loves you so much,"

   The brunet took a deep breath, "I  have to go. Need to make sure Vi is asleep or at least trying to go to sleep,"

   "Alright... don't worry about Felix too much, he'll be fine, just remember what happened with Andrew,"

  Hyunjin nodded, "I'll call you later or before we leave Seoul,"

  He quickly hung up and took a breath.

   It really was like an overwhelming feeling. The love, the pain, all of it built up in one little space amd finally that space is just overflowing with emotion.

  A mask can only be held for so long. A happy one, a confident one, a strong one... every mask eventually falls.

   "Hyunjin...?"

    Hyunjin blinked a couple times trying to rid himself of tears

   "Uhm, yeah? Is everything okay?"

    Could hear it in his voice. The roughness of it, gave away he was crying.

    "Are you okay?" Felix asked.

    "Yeah, just was on the phone. Is everything okay?" He asked again.

  "Yeah, it was just really quiet. Viola is as asleep and Karina is too. Why are you crying?"

    "I'm... I'm not, it is just some allergies,"

   Felix walked over and knelt in front of him. Hold his hands gently, "Why do you always expect me to tell the truth to you, when you don't tell it to me?" He questioned.

    Hyunjin pursed his lips and squeezed Felix's hands, "We should go inside it is cold," he muttered.

   "We can't talk in there, we can talk out here. Why are you crying?"

     It was his eyes, Hyunjin determined. Felix's eyes just made him want to pour out every little secret he had. It was the way the younger looked at him.

   "I broke my promise,"

    Felix brows drew together, confusion filling him, until he felt hyunjin playing with his ring. The ring he had given Felix.

   "It happens sometimes," Felix said softly.

  Hyunjin shook his head, "It wasn't meant to happen with this one,"

     "Hyunjin... neither of us knew what was happening until it was too late,"

     Hyunjin pulled his hands away and pressed his heel of his palms into his eyes then took a deep breath.

  "But if I hadn't jumped to conclusions. If I had just listened to you," Hyunjin whispered, looking at Felix.

    "It still would have happened. We still would have lost them. Yes, it may have been more bearable to get through with you by my side, but you not knowing was on me. It was my decision not to tell you," Felix stated.

  "But you only made that decision because I told you I didn't believe they were mine,"

    Felix pursed his lip, then took a deep breath, "I have thought it over a thousand and two times since it happened and even if you hadn't said that and we did break up, I still wouldn't have told you,"

"What? Why?"

   "Because sometimes not knowing something is better than knowing something, because once you know it you can't unknow it, no matter how hard you want to," Felix said softly.

   "What does that mean?" Hyunjin questioned.

  Felix shook his head and stood up, "We should get some sleep, we do have the book event then going to see your grandmother,"

  "How did you know?"

   "Viola told me you were going to ask," Felix said.

   Hyunjin nodded, "Felix, what did you mean when you said that?"

    "It is nothing to worry about,"

Hyunjin watched Felix walk inside. 

  Karina was right there were a lot of thing that Felix hadn't told him.