I drove to the address on the sheet, it was a two-storey building that didn't look like an office or a residential space. I walked through the gate after finding a good spot for my car, and was stopped by a security guard on my way in.

"Who you wan see?" he asked rudely in broken English, with suspicion clearly written on his face.

"Mr. Chike," I answered.

"Wait here." I watched as he dialed a number and spoke into the phone. "Name?" he turned and asked.

"Jade."

He repeated my name into the phone and ended the call. He looked at me and nodded.

"Where exactly do I go?" I asked.

"Top floor."

"Thanks."

When I found the staircase, I saw different people dressed in the latest fashion in hip-hop culture walking down the stairs as I went up. My gaze met a guy with turquoise hair, he nodded and I gave a nod back. I got to the top floor and saw several rooms. I had no idea where Chike could be, the security guard had only said top floor. I peeked into an open door and saw Chike in front of a desk that had a monitor and several musical instruments with keyboards. He was tapping on something and it was giving off a deep sound.

I entered the room and pushed the door shut. Chike looked up from the several keys and strode towards me. He looked like a temptation in white shorts and large vintage shirt. He went behind me and locked the door with the key. My throat felt constricted and I gulped hard when I felt his heat behind me. He moved away and sat in the red sofa that was behind the large desk. I sat beside him and we just stared at each other. I felt tensed and the air became thick with strain.

I didn't know how to start so I just kept looking at him, drinking him in. Our eyes never left each other until I felt my hand linked in his. I didn't know when my hand sought his out, I just saw it in his and I looked back at Chike. His hand moved from my hand and went to my thigh, pushing my skirt up as his hand went farther. I didn't come to see him for sex but I didn't protest either when he tugged me from the seat and I ended up straddling him. His fingers pushed my skirt to my waist before I felt his thick length enter me.

"This is how home feels, you're home," he said before taking my lips.

I was usually the one that craved urgency but this time I kissed him slowly as I rocked against him. Chike rested his head on my chest after we both came.

I stood from his lap after few minutes had passed. I sat back on the chair and watched as Chike stood and cleaned himself. He came back to the chair and pulled me to his side. I sniffed as a tear rolled down from my face, Chike stroked my hair and I wiped my eyes.

"You're so mean," I said and pulled away from him.

He rubbed his face and sighed. "Look, I said those things because I was hurt. It feels like you're always taking me for granted because you have control."

"I never took you for granted." I placed my hand on his thigh and his hand joined mine.

"But you think I'm trash that you can use and discard whenever you want."

"That's not how I feel about you, your words are always so negative and hurtful."

"I'll make a conscious effort not to say the wrong things when I'm angry, and you?"

"I'm sorry, for everything. The ways things have been spiraling out of control in the past few weeks is alarming."

"It's okay, sweet face. Does this mean you've broken up with him?"

I remained silent and Chike stood abruptly from my side.

"Why did you come here then?" he asked in annoyance.

"I wanted to-"

"To have sex, I get it."

"That wasn't why I came," I replied in defeat.

Chike went back to the keys and I remained in the chair. He kept pressing several keys and I was ignored...forgotten. When several minutes passed without anything being said, I took my bag from the floor and walked out of the room. I shivered as I went down the stairs and I hugged myself in despair. I walked past the security guard and went into my car, then I called Dave and waited for him to pick.

"How did it go?"

"Not well."

"What are you going to do then?"

"I'm going home." I ended the call and flung my cell phone on the passenger seat.

I drove for hours until I saw the familiar building, I parked my car outside its gate and walked in. When I rapped slightly on the door, my mom opened and looked at me like she just saw a ghost. She looked great as usual and could pass for forty instead of her real age, sixty. I hugged her and she squeezed and sniffed me.

"My baby girl," she said and pulled out of the embrace. "Have you been crying?" She turned my face from side to side and studied my eyes.

"No, mom," I said and smiled for good measure.

"Good, come in. Your sister is around somewhere and your father is in the neighbor's house. I could get him for you."

I walked in with my mom and we entered the bedroom that was retained for me when I got them the four-bedroom bungalow.

"Not yet. I'll be spending the night." I saw toys scattered around the room and knew my sister came with her sons.

"That's great, but why didn't you call ahead? I would have prepared your favorite meal."

"There's no need for that." I sank into the bed and my mum sat beside me.

"Are you going to shower before joining your sister in the kitchen?"

"Yes, mom."

My mom left the room, and I placed a pillow over my head. I needed to get rid of the melancholy air around me before she figured me out. I stood from the bed and entered the bathroom, removing my clothes and turning on the shower. I felt stained so I washed myself hard, removing all traces of Chike. I was in an old shirt and short I'd abandoned in the closet years ago when my mom entered. She looked at me sitting on the bed and sighed.

"I know something is wrong, what is it?"

"Nothing is wrong, I'm fine."

My mom liked to think that she could sense my troubles from hundred miles away, all good mothers probably thought that way. She joined me on the bed then took my hands and studied them thoroughly before sighing again.

"You're so pale, Jade. Are you pregnant?"

I snatched my hands from hers and stood from the bed. "Mom, you're invading my privacy," I said. I didn't know how she figured it out but I wasn't ready to talk yet.

"I knew something was wrong when you came home unannounced. You always do that when there's something weighing you down."

I rolled my eyes. "That happened once in secondary school."

"And in university. Remember when Kola broke up with you?"

"We got back together."

"I know, I'm saying you come home when your heart is hurting and I can tell it is right now."

"Okay."

I sat back on the bed and touched my forehead before dropping my hand in defeat. She was going to find out anyway, so I could as well tell her. I opened up to my mom and told her what was happening in my life. She listened and shook her head, sometimes she patted our linked hands and other times she simply sighed. She said, that's sad when I spoke about Chike's parents.

"I'm sorry if our situation made you value money over personal relationships," she said when I finished talking.

"I did not break up with him because of the deal so it wasn't our situation."

"If it wasn't it then you wouldn't have taken that deal and things would have been less messy with him." She tucked a loose strand of hair from my bun behind my ear.

"I was glad to."

"I just don't want you to lose out on a great future because you're worried about our finances."

"I'm not losing out on a great future."

"How can you know that? You love him, don't you?"

It was the moment of truth and as much as I wished I could deny it, I said, "I do."

"Then tell him."

"No, mom. I can't."

"Why not?"

"I'm scared. What if he turns out to be like Kola?"

"What if he doesn't? You have to love again. Forget what that jerk did to you, you can't let it stop you from finding the love of your life."

"It's just so hard. I don't want to go through the heartbreak again."

"Isn't your heart breaking right now?"

I looked away and didn't answer her.

My mom dragged my face back to hers. "You can't stop yourself from loving someone, it's not something you can control. It just happens and then you hope to God the person feels the same way about you."

"What if he doesn't?"

"Then you move on. You can't force anyone to love you, but you have to let him know how you feel."

"He thinks I'm cold. Mom, I'm not."

"I know. You were the one that taught us all how to constantly say we loved each other."

"He's just so mean."

"Being mean is his way of controlling the situation. He's probably hurting as badly as you are."

"I don't know."

"Will you tell him you're pregnant? He needs to know that he's going to be a father."

"I know. I just don't know how he'll take it."

My mum hugged me and I rested my head on her shoulder.

"You'll get through this. You're the strongest person I know."

"Thanks, mum."

The door opened and my sister walked in. She accessed our positions and asked, "What's going on?"

"Your sister is pregnant."

"Does this mean you're never getting back with Kola?"

"Who's Kola?" my mom asked.

My sister and I laughed and she came to hug me.

"Congratulations, you're going to make a good mom," Moyo said. She didn't ask for an explanation, she just stroked my hair and smiled.

I sniffed and replied, "Thanks."

The kids busted through the door and they stopped for a second when they saw me. They rushed to my side and Zayn jumped on my lap while Reign held on to my leg.

"Color yeyow," Reign said pointing at my short.

"Yes, it's color yellow," I replied and patted his head.

I placed Zayn on the bed when his knees bumped into my tummy.

"I know all the colors. Reign knows only yellow and green," Zayn said proudly.

"Wow," I dragged out. "You're such a brilliant boy and you too Reign." I told Reign when he tugged on my short for his own compliment.

"We'll leave you guys to catch up," Moyo said making her escape with my mom behind her.

"Sweet?" Reign asked. I always got them cookies and sweets whenever I visited.

"No sweet but we could drive around to get some," I said.

Zayn jumped on the bed in excitement and Reign tried to climb the bed to join his brother. I helped him when he kept struggling and he rewarded me with a cute smile when he jumped and fell on his bottom.

I shook my head and said, "You boys are so cute, it's unbearable."